How can I stop being attracted?
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TheSkaFish
Jedi Guardian
I kind of feel this. And I'm trying to take some steps at just...not focusing on women right now. I know that the problem is that I'm not yet being the kind of guy that attracts women. This is because I don't have my life in order. I haven't been doing interesting things because I either don't have money or because I have to focus on finding some kind of work that pays enough to be able to be independent. If I get a job that would help some of this, because then I'll have money and I'll be able to return to my interests, I'll be able to think about something besides getting a job.
But the second half of the problem is that the only women I actually want to date are taken. I could date someone else but I wouldn't enjoy it, because I know that if I had only had my life together in around 2011 or 2012, then it could have been me dating one of those girls. I would have to force myself to pretend to enjoy dating someone else, and to what end? Sex with someone I don't really want? Marriage to someone I don't want, and a whole life's worth of fake smiles and quiet desperation? It's a paradox. I don't want to be single for life. Yet there is no one available right now that I would actually want to date. So I guess my only course of action is to just forget about being attracted to anyone, until the ones I want free up again. Right now my attraction has nowhere to go. It's just taking up my energy.
But the second half of the problem is that the only women I actually want to date are taken. I could date someone else but I wouldn't enjoy it, because I know that if I had only had my life together in around 2011 or 2012, then it could have been me dating one of those girls. I would have to force myself to pretend to enjoy dating someone else, and to what end? Sex with someone I don't really want? Marriage to someone I don't want, and a whole life's worth of fake smiles and quiet desperation? It's a paradox. I don't want to be single for life. Yet there is no one available right now that I would actually want to date. So I guess my only course of action is to just forget about being attracted to anyone, until the ones I want free up again. Right now my attraction has nowhere to go. It's just taking up my energy.
sk66rc
Well-known member
MargStone said:
I was gonna say very similar thing... You are attracted to what you're attracted to... I'm no biologist but it's a normal biological response... You can't really stop that... It's like saying how do you breath though your nose & not smell anything? I guess in some extreme cases, they're both possible... You could have a surgery that removes all the nurve endings in your nostril... I guess that will allow you to breath through your nose but not able to smell anything... Then that takes away from being able to taste something...
I suppose you could shut yourself off emotionally so you can't feel anything but if you do that, you might end up with some side affects, like not being able to feel other emotions including some that you may find very positive...
misfit4life
Member
I know where you are coming from. I get crushes from time to time for no valid reason, these women would never give me the time of day. It's not even because they are what society would call "beautiful", I'm not sure what it is. Maybe it's my own indescribable definition of beauty. I too wish I wasn't attracted to women, I'm not attracted to men, no question there. It just causes pain and distraction and disappointment. I know it's built into my genetics, I just wish it wasn't. I've heard Nikola Tesla felt the same way, and even had himself "chemically castrated". He was also in love with a pigeon, so it's clear he had relationship issues with other humans to begin with.
M
Mr.YellowCat
Guest
I think I know how you feel, and I also would love to be relieved of such a burden.
Unfortunately, I do not have a solution for you.
But as others have said, I guess its about the state of mind. You can will yourself into belief you dont want one I guess.
One time, things were getting better for me when for some time I was seeing one girl in a dream. She was always different, but always the same, and with seeing her on almost daily basis, I was not so sad to be alone while looking at girls and being saddened by the fact that i can not be with any of them.
I dont recomend my solution, but maybe you can have an imaginary girlfriend
I´m about to try it on my own if I ever get to learn lucid dreaming
But seriously, I´m sorry for the hardships you are in. I hope it will get better for you, whether if you find a girl to be with you, or stop wanting one.
Unfortunately, I do not have a solution for you.
But as others have said, I guess its about the state of mind. You can will yourself into belief you dont want one I guess.
One time, things were getting better for me when for some time I was seeing one girl in a dream. She was always different, but always the same, and with seeing her on almost daily basis, I was not so sad to be alone while looking at girls and being saddened by the fact that i can not be with any of them.
I dont recomend my solution, but maybe you can have an imaginary girlfriend
I´m about to try it on my own if I ever get to learn lucid dreamingBut seriously, I´m sorry for the hardships you are in. I hope it will get better for you, whether if you find a girl to be with you, or stop wanting one.
Triple Bogey
Well-known member
I can't help myself. I just find women attractive.
