How do i stop this empty feeling?

[ItachiV1]

Hey everyone i came here for 2 reasons, well 2/½. 1. I need some advice on how i get this empty feeling to simply go away and 2. Meet some hopefully cool people that would be up for a chat sometime ( if anyone is down for that since i'm home just about all the time ) and the ''½'' would be i truly wanna help, but i don't know how much help i would actually be since i can barely help myself at the moment.
Alright let me tell you my story ( it's okay i don't really expect that many people to read it through and a lot of you will probably think i should suck it up since there's a lot of people who has it worse than me )

Back when i was 16 i thought i was the king of the world basically because i had everything at that point, everyone thought of me as being the cool kid in school and the guy who would kick your ass if you looked at him the wrong way ( i never were like that tho ) and i was dating the most popular girl at school ( my best friends sister) everything was going great except for 1 thing which was my brother, he was going to jail for something i know he didn't commit and that killed me inside knowing he went to jail for something he never did, my brother ( the oldest out of my 3 older brothers ) is the guy in the world i look up to the most and respects the most since he always took care of me when i was in trouble. After he got out of jail he had changed completely and said he realized that life didn't mean anything and weren't worth trying to reach your goals. I couldn't believe him since he always told me to keep my head up, and just keep training everyday and i would eventually reach my dream. He then left 1 night and i haven't seen him since and i keep thinking about where he is, apparently hes changed his name among phone number and what not. I kinda accepted it and got through with a lot of support from my girlfriend and my best friend who always were there for me. Now this guy weren't just my best friend he was like a walking mirror of me, i really felt as if he was my twin or my soul mate since we liked the exact same things and knew what each other were thinking just about all the time ( like i would say, yeah i know that guy should get a haircut he looks like a <insert something witty since i cant come up with anything at the moment> and he would look at me and ago ''wow i had the exact same thought word for word'' ) He helped me through the time when i lost my brother and so did my girlfriend who was there whenever i called her and wanted to talk. It then became Christmas and i was still worried about my brother a lot and kept thinking about the guy i loved, respected, and looked up to so much not wanting to be near me and had just given up on life. My best friend and my girlfriend had to go to their family up north and they had to drive up there and they invited me with them, at first i thought hell yeah who else would i wanna spent Christmas with, but something just kept me from not going. Like in my head i had this voice telling me not to go since their family won't even know I'm coming since it was a last minute question right before they took off, the next day at around 2 AM before I'm about to go to sleep i get a phone call from my girlfriends mom, telling me their car had crashed and they both had died because their uncle had apparently thought driving drunk was a good idea and had crashed into a truck in the other side of the road and all 3 of them got killed on the spot, since that day I've never been myself, I've lost my brother my girlfriend and my best friend. I'm finding it very hard to commit to people and trust people for a strange reason which I'm not entirely sure what is, and i wish i knew what it was so i could stop it and somehow live on without feeling sad and empty all the time. What i'm asking you guys is how can i regain my smile? how can i gain back my emotions, because i seem to have lost them. Of course i'm not some cold jerk who could just stand by watching someone get killed or whatever. I just don't seem to give a damn anymore whatsoever other than keep training everyday ( if i'm not home at my PC i'm at the gym ) and finally reach my ultimate dream which is what have been keeping my going and my never say quit attutide. But i just feel like i've hit rock bottom and i just need some advice on how to go on, or what i should do, i want to be able to smile again and be able to laugh as well. And no there's no people around here i could be friends with again, it's ruined now and there's no chance of it happening ( long story i guess ) I just don't know anymore i really don't. I'm telling you now ANY help would be very appreciated

 

[itsmylife]

First of all welcome to the forum. Anything that causes anyone a problem, however big or small, is important to them so I doubt you’ll find anyone here telling you to ‘suck it up’. Especially when the problem is the one you’ve been through. Losing people that close to you in the way you have it’s no wonder you’re struggling. Unfortunately I can’t give you advice on how to make that empty feeling simply go away because I’m not sure that’s possible. It’s going to take time. Coming here is a good start though!
Even though your brother has disappeared, keep following his advice. Then when he comes back, if he’s still in the frame of mind he is in now you can be the one to repeat it back at him.
Is there someone you can talk to professionally? Counselling or something to help you with losing your best friend and girlfriend? You can talk to many people on here but it might be useful to get some professional advice on moving forwards with your emotions as well.
As for regaining your smile, would it help to visit places you used to go with your friends where you have happy memories and remind yourself of the times you enjoyed with them? Or go back to a time when you were happier and do some of the things you did back then to remind yourself you can still enjoy life now. If going back is too hard though, maybe try looking for new things to do. Like taking up a new hobby or a course to keep yourself busy. Plus you might find some friends there.
There are plenty of supportive and friendly people here who will be happy to chat with you. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat.
Take care.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I've been excersizing a simple suggestion...I'm familar with some of the process though.
I've been doing a lot of research and practice throughout my life.
I suffer from depression and life on life's term kind of left me in despair.

I hold a memory and feeling of happy moments in my life.
I hold on to that feeling of happiness everywhere i go though out my day.
I'm almost in a state of blizz every moment. I smile and laugh all the time.
Being in this state of being. I make good decisions. I take positive actions.
My life gets better as I go. Good things are coming to me...That's the way it
works...It's like what all the self help books or articles in the net say...
I simply just put those instructions into practice.

I'm very watch full or try to be more aware of my thoughts.
If a negative thought or feeling enter my mind...I stop it as soon as posible with happy thoughts.
I'm no longer on auto pilot. I'm making chioces in my life.
I'm taking control over my brain...and not let it control me.
I'm the creator of my happiness sort of speak.
I have freewill every moment of my life...I chose to be positive today.
Breaking the chains breaking the cycle of misery i created for myself.
Ture life is un fair...but I must chose to be positive inspite of it all.
I can't afford self pity, self defeating habits, or negatives today...I paid a high prized for it..
Yeap...I hitted an emotional and mental bottom...I don't want that anymore.
I love jenni very very much...There's nothing i can do or say to bring her back to life...
I had to accept that...I had to grieve over her. If i cry...I cry.

If anything good for me that came out of jenni's death..is that...LIfe is too fucken short.
It's embeded inside of me piont blank..stright up. She's dead and I'm still alive.
I chose to be happy today...inspite of it all.
Sometimes i hold happy moments I had with her...I'm grateful I had those moment with
her. I know she's not coming back...I just hold on to that feeling of being totally loved by her.

Thoughts > emotions> attitude> actions/re actions

A while back...I read from a book..that my mind just make copies of my bad experince in life.
I replay those thoughts over and over again..because they're very painful..I felt if though i need
to make correction or resolve problems...but I couldn't...it was all in my head.

The book also suggested that I do an inventory of my life....there were good times just as much
as bad times in my life....no matter how bad the experince i had in life...there's was always good
times in my life...The happy moments in my life arn't painful...the feelings arn't sharp.
Therefore I don't pay attention to them.
The painful moment jumps out at me more and i simply got into a habit of replaying them over
and over again...A bad attitude is the result of that.

I think you're heading in the right direction...since you're writing and opening yourself.

I keep it simple....I make a gratitude list. I read it every morning...this gets me started with a good attitude.
I can read my gratitude list anytime i want. I can start my day over again anytime i want.
Sometimes...i can't do it oneday at a time...maybe only a half of a day at a time.
Then throughout my days..I just stay positive.
For a while I wore a rubber band around my wrist..this helps me snap out of my negative thoughts.
I tell myself I love myself everyday...as many times as I need and want to.
It just takes practice.

I aviod negative people, places and things...I can't afford it today.
If I can't aviod those people...such as some co-workers...then I simple ignore them or have a boundary
around me. if some people wanna invade my space and insist flinging thier negative BS around on me...I tell them
staight up and they best knock that **** off...I'm not a doormate...straight up.

No..I'm not afriad of dying today...a part of me wants to crawl into the grave with jenni.
I chose not to live in fear anymore. F it..i have nothing to lose and everything to gain after hitting bottom.
Whatever life has instore for me next...fucken bring it on. I'm not going to be afriad of living anymore.

Then if there's positive things happening...I participate in that. Be in the moment and experince the good times and feelings.
Building more positive memories, feelings, experince or data in my brain, mind..Bascailly live a postive life.

I also meditate

 

[eh?]

I don't really have any advice for you. I couldn't imagine something like that happening to me.
Maybe as itsmylife said, you should see professional help.

I can understand you not able to get close to anyone. The person you were closest to, your brother, left you. Then the ones you leaned on after your brother left have passed. Maybe subconsciously (or consciously) you are not getting close to people for fear of losing them.

 

[packyourbags]

oh dear...
that is just harsh........... (hug)

well - i do not thing anyone can say anything simple to you at this point. it is not the kind of loss simple words will take away, or make your emptiness easier to bear.

i can only say - keep going on. do not give up.
time is a healer, even if it's sooooo hard to believe now.

(and i'm so sorry you have to go through this dear... it is not something anyone deserves).

(hug)

you are welcome to chat to me any time, and i'll try to make you feel a bit better:

[email protected]

shade.

 

[Brian]

It sounds like this all happened in the span of a year yes?

You lost the most important people to you in your life. That is a huge grief to overcome and there's no fast way through the grieving process; all you can really do is talk to people and keep going with your routine and try to keep moving forward. Some people take years just to get over breakups or divorces...and this, to you, is probably bigger than a relationship breakup.

You still exercise. That's good. It shows you have strength, even if you don't realize it. Keep going to the gym because it can only help you.

How old are you? It sounds to me like you need to get a job so you can eventually move and start somewhere fresh. Somewhere where you can have an opportunity to make new friends, because ultimately that is probably the only way you can truly move on in life. If you were a hermit type it might be different. Some people can do fine, or even do better emotionally, when they're mostly alone. But you don't sound like the hermit type.

Plus, a job will help you feel accomplished and possibly introduce you to new people that you like. That will also be good for your situation. If nothing else, you could use some of your income to see a therapist/psychologist. It's good to be here talking to us and having a support group, but face-to-face contact with someone to talk to is ultimately the best medicine there is.

 

[heretostay]

Im so sorry for what you are going through. i had family and friends die when i was young. i grew up with the loneliness and emptiness so i didnt know there was anything different. the only thing that woke me up was realizing i could make a difference in others lives. i became a personal trainer for older adults.

you have to grieve the loss of your friends and brother. then find your place in the world again.