How important is *** in a relationship?

[Maggie-]

I have never actually been in any relationship, neither have I felt any kind of sexual attraction. Well, I have felt some, but I just don’t want to have ***. People I talk to about this thinks it’s strange, and say that I haven’t met the right person yet. I don’t know if this will change, maybe I’m asexual? I do however want some kind of romantic relationship, but would it work without ***? I’m not really in a hurry to be with anyone yet, but I do feel empty sometimes, like something or someone is missing in my life. What do you guys think, is *** a deal breaker?
 

 

[lifestream]

Hi there.

*** isn't a deal-breaker in a relationship but it is an important part of what makes a relationship tick.  There are some men out there who would be happy with a purely emotional, non-sexual connection rather than a combination of the two, but I think you'd have to really go looking to find one.

Maybe it's not a case of meeting the right person for you, perhaps you just need to take the time to get yourself comfortable with the idea of being with someone in a sexual context?

Anyway, just my two cents.

 

[Tealeaf]

For some people, it's not a necessity. There are people out there who identify as "asexual", meaning they don't find any gender sexually attractive. I've also met people who aren't asexual but who generally find *** boring (yes, men), and who tend to like foreplay or some fairly innocent kinks more.

For many people, it does matter quite a bit. But, not everyone seriously wants to have *** with any hot man/woman/whatever who walks by.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Yeah, it depends who you are dating. It doesn't HAVE to be an issue, but it could be with some people. You might be asexual, but, on the other hand, you could just have not found the right person yet.

 

[DarkSelene]

I believe you should have an agreement with your partner regarding that, and find someone that possibly share the same level of libido as you have, or the lack of it, but I'd argue that if you never had any romantic lasting connection you might not know exactly the amount of attraction you'll feel directed to that possible significant other. Maybe for you it's hard to come by, maybe you need the emotional side fulfilled before you get comfortable opening up to a more sexual relationship, and believe me there's nothing wrong with that. There's also nothing wrong with being asexual, by the way, but I wouldn't go towards that stance immediately since you never had a relationship to draw those conclusions from.

It's good to notice that usually people only feel desired based on *** and level of attraction stemming from their partners, that's some considerable importance people put on ***, it also needs to be clarified and agreed upon both sides in a relationship - and it can turn into a deal breaker.

*** is very personal, it changes from individual to individual, I wouldn't worry about it too much - just make good choices and don't put yourself in an uncomfortable position for the sake of others.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

I personally can live with or without. I know many people who think their entire lives revolve around it. As others have said, just be open about it

 

[Restless soul]

 

[ardour]

I envy the OP...But yeah, honest communication about that is a must, and maybe the interest will grow if you're involved with someone.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Sexual compatibility is very important.

 

[russtoleum]

It's important (for me) that you are just honest and upfront about what you like and dislike, and to have fun with it. Not everyone will be compatible, and that's ok.


Everyone is different though.

 

[MisterLonely]

Your 19, leave it for what it is and focus on being happy, if thats with someone and it leads to something more thats beautiful if not it's not the end, don't go changing who you are out off pressure!

 

[Compassion]

it is not important to me. i am not asexual, though.

 

[DavidD]

To me it is crucial. Women don't understand me usually, they believe it's only about *** when I ask for it so much, but that's just how I am. Hypersexual. Proud of it.

 

[Eliraven]

Not important for me at all. I have had a couple of relationships before (not *** or any other type of foreplay included,just hugs and kisses). Now I'm in a relationship with *** included. And to be honest I'm very happy on my current relationship and the *** is good but is not important for me. I can totally pass on it. Btw, I was very happy on my no sexual relationships. Up to you. I will prefer no ***. Just hugs ad kisses, my favorite.
And believe it or not they are a lot of asexual people out there. Is just that society makes *** so important that if you ask anybody they will tell you is a deal breaker.

 

[Haruki]

Maybe you haven't met that one person yet.. Who increase the heartbeat just simply by staring at face. You'll feel loved and tension free. There will ve no worry around you except her. Today's these days *** is cheap very cheap . people do this without feeling anything inner in their heart that's why relationship breaks very fast.

 Do less *** feel more love make the life interesting.
I hope you'll feel love once you got it you'll enjoy ***.
Do exercise stay healthy stay fit and make your life full of happiness.

 

[Sun35]

I have never actually been in any relationship, neither have I felt any kind of sexual attraction. Well, I have felt some, but I just don’t want to have ***. People I talk to about this thinks it’s strange, and say that I haven’t met the right person yet. I don’t know if this will change, maybe I’m asexual? I do however want some kind of romantic relationship, but would it work without ***? I’m not really in a hurry to be with anyone yet, but I do feel empty sometimes, like something or someone is missing in my life. What do you guys think, is *** a deal breaker?
 

***? No, that is not important at all. *** is just something that is totally overrated, way too much importance is given to that. A relationship can survive even if *** is totally absent in it. I am sure about that.

 

[kamya]

I have never actually been in any relationship, neither have I felt any kind of sexual attraction. Well, I have felt some, but I just don’t want to have ***. People I talk to about this thinks it’s strange, and say that I haven’t met the right person yet. I don’t know if this will change, maybe I’m asexual? I do however want some kind of romantic relationship, but would it work without ***? I’m not really in a hurry to be with anyone yet, but I do feel empty sometimes, like something or someone is missing in my life. What do you guys think, is *** a deal breaker?
 

***? No, that is not important at all. *** is just something that is totally overrated, way too much importance is given to that. A relationship can survive even if *** is totally absent in it. I am sure about that.

 It can survive but only with the right person. And its gonna be hard as **** to find that right person. I know any relationship of mine wouldnt survive that. Most other people I imagine feel pretty similar to me on this. Good luck OP.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

"Intimacy" is important in a relationship. For most people, the most intimate physical act you can share is ***. For others, perhaps not.

If either person in a relationship considers *** as integral to intimacy, then yes, it is important.

 

[Red_Wedding_Casualty]

At 30, I think perhaps I'm in the same boat. Not only does S E X not interest me, it actually scares the hell out of me. Before going into the litany of **** that can go wrong, the base act requires me to get naked with someone else, and she wants me to put that in WHERE?! Yeh nah M8.......

What you want. Well.... what WE want, is rare to the point of being impossible. What you need to ask yourself, is what's more important. Your principles, or the need for companionship. Both choices will require compromise on your part.

 

[bleed_the_freak]

and she wants me to put that in WHERE?! Yeh nah M8.......

Give it a try and report back.