how many people thought of ending ur own life?

[cognitive]

Sorry to hear that BrokenMan. I know the feeling.

 

[Azariah]

i once swallowed thirteen benadryl pills(sleeping pills) to end my life. but i was so scared to die i didn't even sleep. ain't that funny and sad at the same time?

 

[ladyforsaken]

i once swallowed thirteen benadryl pills(sleeping pills) to end my life. but i was so scared to die i didn't even sleep. ain't that funny and sad at the same time?

I don't know how you do that. Those benadryl stuff can knock me out within half an hour. :\

Glad you're still with us though. *hug*

 

[Azariah]

I was laying in bed the whole time. Afraid to close my eyes. I was more afraid that those pills might have damaged my liver and instead of dying I might have survived crippled. I guess fear kept me awake.

 

[ihabl]

have u thought of sucide ... and what stopped you from doing it?

I've thought about it but never seriously thought of really doing it. In high school, a teammate of mine killed himself over a girl. He was very popular.....I was anything but popular..at best I had four friends, however I wouldn't even say they were friends, more acquaintances really......I remember thinking, if I would have committed suicide, no one would have cared, it should have been me not him. He is missed by so many....I was close to my dad, my best friend really...even in junior high and high school. I still think of him as my best friend. I suppose this helped with my loneliness....

 

[wadokai]

I've thought about it, for a long long time. But I've never acted on it. I'm too scared to cut or anything, or endure pain. But more than that, I don't want to leave my dead body for my mom to pick up. Her whole life has been garbage and I don't want the loss of me to effect her and destroy her. She's the only reason I'm still living and going forward. But honestly, I often wish for death. Wishing that I just die somehow. I sometimes don't see an escape from my realities and then these thoughts come up. But it's just wishful thinking, I don't think I'll ever actually do anything.

 

[RainOfColors]

I'm thinking about it quite often. But I have no plans of doing it anytime soon.

 

[Lonewolverine35]

Frankly, I probably will after my parents die. It's weird because maybe a week ago my mother was talking to me about suicide, and I can't remember her exact words but it was like she was basically responding to my thoughts, essentially saying she wouldn't want me to do something like that just because she dies. But I don't really see what else to do. Being forever alone has consequences beyond the emotional. When my parents die, not only will I be alone but I'll be struggling financially. In the US, it's close to impossible to make it as a single person--you either need roommates, a spouse, a boyfriend or girlfriend you live with and split expenses with...it's just very hard to get by if you're all by yourself on one income, especially the kind of money employers are paying most people these days. I am also very close to my parents, especially my mother, and I can't imagine living without my mother.

Really, the fact that I'll never have a real relationship or any more real friends is actually a fairly distant third reason why I'd off myself, and I am not sure by itself it'd be enough of a reason to do it. I have lived life before struggling financially, and it was one of the unhappiest times of my life even with my parents still alive. Going to a job I hate all day that barely pays anything and living paycheck to paycheck (at best), then coming home to absolutely no one and having no one on earth who cares about me?...forget that. What's the point of living if you're always unhappy? (Not trying to encourage anyone by saying that, but...)

 

[MentatsGhoul]

I attempted suicide this Monday. I didn't have enough pills though. It did almost nothing, and I threw up a few hours later. When I did it, I was scared of what might happen. Now, I kinda wish I succeeded

 

[ladyforsaken]

I attempted suicide this Monday. I didn't have enough pills though. It did almost nothing, and I threw up a few hours later. When I did it, I was scared of what might happen. Now, I kinda wish I succeeded

*hugs* I'm sorry..

 

[VentVentVent]

I used to think about killing myself a lot when I was younger, mostly because I felt like I'd never fit in and that I was falling behind everyone. But I guess I never got to the point where I actually thought about how I would do it

 

[Carmen]

I attempted suicide this Monday. I didn't have enough pills though. It did almost nothing, and I threw up a few hours later. When I did it, I was scared of what might happen. Now, I kinda wish I succeeded

I'm so sorry... I hope you're well! (((HUGS))) Gosh, I wish I could hug you for real.
___
I attempted it about 7 or 8 years ago. I was stopped by a cousin who came into my room.

I'm probably OK enough to survive my parents' passing; I'm aware it will happen some day and I'm slowly making peace with that, but I used to think my life will end along with theirs.

I've learned to deal with things somehow and now I can't find a valid reason for me to ever commit suicide, I believe there's always hope for making a difference. If I ever become dependant on someone else though... it's likely that I will end my life. That's because I never want to be a burden to someone; I was one as a child and I don't ever want to be that again.

 

[edgecrusher]

I'm not sure how to answer this. I don't think I've ever seriously been in the frame of mind where I thought about it enough to start figuring out how I'd do it. I have however, been depressed enough that a few times at night when I layed down for the night I wished I just wouldn't wake up the next day. Went for a few years without ever being close to thinking that, then I did again like 2-3 months ago. I'm not depressed right now, but I've been very...blah, for the entire year.

 

[trueth]

I think about it a lot, especially lately. I haven't reached the point of actually trying it yet. Mostly because I don't have a valid reason for it.

 

[MrMagoo]

Suicide was on my mind everyday for the duration of my heroin addiction. I wanted to die because I knew it was killing my mother's emotions. I lost everything and went down a dark and lonely path. I still contemplate suicide but I know the pain it will cause my mom and I want her to be as happy as she can be everyday knowing I'm alive and completely drug free!

 

[Bluey]

Suicide was on my mind everyday for the duration of my heroin addiction. I wanted to die because I knew it was killing my mother's emotions. I lost everything and went down a dark and lonely path. I still contemplate suicide but I know the pain it will cause my mom and I want her to be as happy as she can be everyday knowing I'm alive and completely drug free!

I know people that have died cos of drugs. Nobody I was really good friends with. Just people I know at school.
Drugs, heroin especially ruins life's.
I once walked past a homeless person and then realized that I know him. He was there cos of heroin. Its one of the hardest addictions that anyone can face I think. Its not so much getting of the drug but all the devastation it burt you when you was on it. people will turn there back on you why your on that. They have to. Every addict I know robs and uses people. Its not them its the drug. But I think the only thing you can do is let an addict hit rock bottom. You cant do that by helping them.

I think if your drug free after being stuck on heroin then you have a massive reason to be very proud of yourself.
Has am sure you will know better then me relationships with family and friends will take a long time to mend and some may never mend again.

Stay true to your self man, And also welcome here

 

[Eternitydreamer]

Yes several times. I kinda tried once when i was 19...i was too nervous to do it so took a few extra pills. My psych seemed to think it was funny. It obviously didn't work. I was extremely drowsy and had really weird sensations. I think but haven't attempted since.

 

[Niantiel]

Every day. For 4 years...
That was part of why I moved.
It wasn't a safe environment for me.
I still think about it a lot. Just, not daily anymore.
I've made the active choice to start trying to work on healing myself emotionally and mentally.
Unfortunately, that means either cutting ties, or taking a long time away, from close friends of mine.
No matter. I spend most of my time alone anyhow. That's, why I have forums like this that I'm on, and most of my actual friends are only accessible through online and phone now anyway.

 

[Serephina]

Yes,I was 21 and I didn't see any other way out. I took a mixture of presription tablets and ended up in hospital. I just remember feeling really drowsy with blurred vision and my family being in tears. Apparently they were told that I must have known what I was doing because what I had taken was lethal and the hospital had actually expected me to die. I just remember coming round and being made to drink a load of charcoal. Fifteen years later,i'm still here and thinking of all the life experiences I would've missed out on if I had suceeded that night and it just wouldn't have been worth it.

 

[Treze]

I think about it more often than I would like. I guess it started about 2 years ago. At first it was just something I considered, but would never do anyway. A few months ago I caught myself actually reading about different suicide methods, what's more effective, etc., and that gave me some pause. I'm aware that would be a terrible mistake and it would only make things worse.

I often wonder, though, if anyone would go to my funeral, other than my immediate family. People I knew from college, for example. That's something I'm curious about.