How not to get angry when you are being ingored

[Restless soul]

This is a revised topic of another thread I posted.
 It was having to do with being ignored and blown off and people showing lack of interest in communication usually via text. Since that is typically the main method of communication today. So to get right to the point.
When I start to feel I am being ignored or blown off for no reason that I am aware of usually. I tend to get angry frustrated and wonder what I have done. And take it very personally. And start to dread the thoughts of ffeeling alone and isolated once again.

 

[michael2]

If someone is showing a lack of interest in you by ignoring or blowing off your texts dont take it too personally, they just didnt click with you. Consider that not everybody is going to click with you, most people, even "popular" folk, only have 1-2 truly close friends who are interested in you enough to text or talk on the phone for extended periods of time.

I was at a party a few weeks ago and I was being ignored by everyone. Then this nice looking girl who I had my eye on walked right by me to talk to this guy standing right next to me and the whole time she had her back turned to me like I didnt even exist. It hurt like hell. I tried to keep a smile on my face but Im sure people could tell I was devastated. So what did I do? I turned it into a learning experience. It helped me understand that I wrongly put women on a pedestal (I mistakenly see their interest in me as a barometer to my self worth), and that if I want to meet somebody I shouldnt just mess around and hope they come up to me or we accidentally bump into eachother. Instead I should just approach them.

So yeah, try to find a way to turn the negative experience of being blown off or ignored in text messages into a learning experience.

 

[Restless soul]

If someone is showing a lack of interest in you by ignoring or blowing off your texts dont take it too personally, they just didnt click with you.  Consider that not everybody is going to click with you, most people, even "popular" folk, only have 1-2 truly close friends who are interested in you enough to text or talk on the phone for extended periods of time.

I was at a party a few weeks ago and I was being ignored by everyone.  Then this nice looking girl who I had my eye on walked right by me to talk to this guy standing right next to me and the whole time she had her back turned to me like I didnt even exist.  It hurt like hell.  I tried to keep a smile on my face but Im sure people could tell I was devastated.  So what did I do?  I turned it into a learning experience.  It helped me understand that I wrongly put women on a pedestal (I mistakenly see their interest in me as a barometer to my self worth), and that if I want to meet somebody I shouldnt just mess around and hope they come up to me or we accidentally bump into eachother.  Instead I should just approach them.

So yeah, try to find a way to turn the negative experience of being blown off or ignored in text messages into a learning experience.

Hi michael. And thanks for reply. I am talking about people who I did click with in my mind. Also spent time with and hung out with on multiple occasions 
Not someone I met for the first time.

 

[Restless soul]

Just curious how others here would approach something like this.

 

[pinocio]

hi there. I know how it's feel being ignored by someone you like ,It's hard time for you but be strong.
U know you're being ignored and that's a big fact that you accept bitterly but why are you fighting?don't spend hours thinking why it happening ?there was a reason behind why they are ignoring you ,does it make a difference ?at the end of the day ,it's all the same thing ,they are ignoring youand you have to find a way to stop feeling miserable and move on because you're being ignored by the one you like or love.
Move on ,just how long do you intend to stare at the blank wall ,just walk away.this person doesn't care about you anymore ,so why should you ?you're angry but seeking closure won't take you anywhere ,move on for good ,keep yourself busy doing something that keeps your mind occupied ,whatever it may be.

 

[Restless soul]

Thanks pinocio. Very common senseical words.

Unfortunately I am not strong. And that is the key. I can't just say
"Whatever" or no big deal. Lying to myself when I do.

 

[pinocio]

Thanks pinocio. Very common senseical words.

Unfortunately I am not strong. And that is the key. I can just say
"Whatever" or no big deal. Lying to myself when I do.

Have you realized how easy it is to ignored this person when you are out with friends ,having a good time ?that's the key .the more fun you have and the more you keep yourself distracted the easier it would be to move on and forget this person "ever existed ".
remember conversation with others would prevent your mind from drifting towards thoughts of this person and that's always a good thing.
You're hurt because someone you fancy is ignoring you ,so change the person you fancy !try to focus your interest on someone yoi know well ,all you need is a distraction.

 

[pinocio]

Thanks pinocio. Very common senseical words.

Unfortunately I am not strong. And that is the key. I can just say
"Whatever" or no big deal. Lying to myself when I do.

Have you realized how easy it is to ignored this person when you are out with friends ,having a good time ?that's the key .the more fun you have and the more you keep yourself distracted the easier it would be to move on and forget this person "ever existed ".
remember conversation with others would prevent your mind from drifting towards thoughts of this person and that's always a good thing.
You're hurt because someone you fancy is ignoring you ,so change the person you fancy !try to focus your interest on someone yoi know well ,all you need is a distraction.

Today's pain is tomorrow's power ,the more you suffer today ,the stronger you are tomorrow.
(Hug)

 

[TheRealCallie]

You need to be more specific. How long are you being ignored? How do you know you are being ignored? How do you know they don't just have honeysuckle going on? How do you know they just aren't the type of person who initiates the conversation all the time? More details, please...

But, regardless of the answers, which you don't necessarily have to tell me, you could just think about them to help yourself. There are always reasons behind what people do, not all of them are bad.

That said, you need something to distract yourself when you start feeling angry. Go for a run, get a punching bag, teach yourself to meditate, listen to music and dance like a lunatic, any type of exercise really. Just find something that will release the anger before it gets bad.

 

[Missingthesun]

I agree with Callie. People vary greatly with how they communicate in text. My own sister will ignore my text for days, or drop in the middle of a conversation. It's not personal and is just who she is. My friends who text me the most are not necessarily my best friends, either.

Just keep working at developing new friendships with the hope that you will one day get what you are looking for. In my experience it is relatively rare. Most people reserve that type of energy and commitment to sexual or family relationships and don't have a lot left.

In the meantime, enjoy what people do have to offer. When you leave your expectations behind, then every text you do get is a nice surprise.

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

I'm on the other side of the line. I'm annoyed by texts. I would rather everyone forget my number unless they are actually going to call me. I don't need someone texting "how are you" or "I'm bored" 20000000000 times a day.

 

[Restless soul]

I'm on the other side of the line. I'm annoyed by texts. I would rather everyone forget my number unless they are actually going to call me. I don't need someone texting "how are you" or "I'm bored" 20000000000 times a day.

No not those people amy, I am talking about people you actually want to see from time to time.  Yes,  those people

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You need to be more specific.  How long are you being ignored?  How do you know you are being ignored?  How do you know they don't just have honeysuckle going on?  How do you know they just aren't the type of person who initiates the conversation all the time?  More details, please...

But, regardless of the answers, which you don't necessarily have to tell me, you could just think about them to help yourself.  There are always reasons behind what people do, not all of them are bad.  

That said, you need something to distract yourself when you start feeling angry.  Go for a run, get a punching bag, teach yourself to meditate, listen to music and dance like a lunatic, any type of exercise really.  Just find something that will release the anger before it gets 

II am talking about someone you would text a few times a week. And maybe see them.once a week. Or someone you would text every few days. Then suddenly they drop off the face of the earth. I get depressed at the idea that I might never hear from a person I liked being with spending tine with etc..

 

[Restless soul]

What do you think about that callie??

 

[AmytheTemperamental]

If I actually want to see them, I don't text them lol. Those people are at least worth a real phone call.

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(I don't like texting period was my point)

 

[Restless soul]

If I actually want to see them, I don't text them lol. Those people are at least worth a real phone call.

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(I don't like texting period was my point)

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Well that's you. I don't place someones worth on voice call vs text - most prefer text to calls nowadays. There is a time to call
But because i choose to text them doesn't mean I don't want to see the person any less than people I seldom call on phone. Rather talk in person actually

 

[owmygod]

I know that feeling , just look at this kind of like this:

You go somewhere and try to meet up people , and it's 2 possible outcomes (yes or no) , it's the same thing as in the choosing in some meetup websites (Some of them like some people , some of them don't) , it's completely natural.

And why you should care so much for rejection of completely unknown people who haven't invested anything in conversation with you?
Look at the ones who do invest and are interested in you. Not the opposite... It's in human nature to want to have what you can't get , or what is somekind of 'cool' , but anyways dont make it a big deal

I used to be angry few years ago when people who i chatted to don't reply , now i see that was a complete foolish thing for me to do. So i just deal with that. Youre time will come im sure , just dont give up brother!

 

[TheRealCallie]

What do you think about that callie??

I'm thinking I still don't have enough details.  How long between when you last talked to them and you get angry?  How long ago did they fall off the face of the earth before you got angry?  Do you still try to talk to them and you just get nothing back?  How often are you trying to talk to them? 

In all honesty, I think you're expectations are too high and too....you.  You seem like the type of person that thinks that because you would do something, that means everyone else should be doing the same thing.  If you talk to someone, they should talk back to you.  If you do something to help someone, they should do something to help you, etc etc....
BUT, that's not how the world works.  Everyone has a different way of seeing things, everyone has different values, different ideals, different forms of how to communicate.  And when you shove your ideas, beliefs and values onto others, even if you don't think you are doing it.....what's likely to happen?

 

[Restless soul]

What do you think about that callie??

I'm thinking I still don't have enough details.  How long between when you last talked to them and you get angry?  How long ago did they fall off the face of the earth before you got angry?  Do you still try to talk to them and you just get nothing back?  How often are you trying to talk to them? 

In all honesty, I think you're expectations are too high and too....you.  You seem like the type of person that thinks that because you would do something, that means everyone else should be doing the same thing.  If you talk to someone, they should talk back to you.  If you do something to help someone, they should do something to help you, etc etc....
BUT, that's not how the world works.  Everyone has a different way of seeing things, everyone has different values, different ideals, different forms of how to communicate.  And when you shove your ideas, beliefs and values onto others, even if you don't think you are doing it.....what's likely to happen?

Forget the person. You are taking it off track going into a whole other area off discussion.  Making it a heck of a lot more complicated which I do not know why you would. Wasn't the point of this thread. 

What I was trying to get across. Was...being upset about not being in touch with someone. Which is totally on their end. Now you getting condescending telling me how the world works??? 

Lets take a step back. " if I talk to someone they should talk back" what in the world are you talking about?

I am not talking about people i try taking to in starbucks and introduced myself and they gave me a blank stare.
I am talking about someone I was in contact with. Did things with. Texted every so often with!  So what are you talking about miss callie???

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Please callie, tell me how the world works. Maybe I need a crash course. Afterall I was sleeping for ten years

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What ideas and beliefs did I shove down anyones throat?
Whooooa..hold on there

 

[TheRealCallie]

No, it's not off track at all, because it the person has only been "ignoring" you for a few days and you are getting angry about it, that's completely YOUR problem and not theirs because you have no idea why they are "ignoring" you. If that was the case then it IS your expectations that are the majority of the problem. So yes, the answers to the questions I asked ARE relevant to the thread topic.

And on top of that, if you are basing other people's interactions on how YOU would choose to communicate, then it's also on YOU because not everyone is you. I can go weeks without talking to some people because of my lifestyle and how busy I am. Then pick right back up with talking to them again. They know me, they understand it might happen. YOU need to understand and accept that it might happen too, with people you know.

 

[Restless soul]

No, it's not off track at all, because it the person has only been "ignoring" you for a few days and you are getting angry about it, that's completely YOUR problem and not theirs because you have no idea why they are "ignoring" you.  If that was the case then it IS your expectations that are the majority of the problem.  So yes, the answers to the questions I asked ARE relevant to the thread topic.

No you had it twisted. Not sure why you mixing in my beliefs etc.. nothing to do with that.

Ok, callie. What if they dont text me ever again? Or 22 weeks goes by and no text?

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And by the way do you ignore someone for even a few days?
Hope not. Most people have enough time to reply. Lets be serious.