How to get someone to stop stalking you?

[coricopat]

Don't be nice. Be direct. Be VERY direct. You WANT him to think you're a total bitch.

Tell him you have a boyfriend and that you find his attention inappropriate and that it has to stop NOW.
Tell him to stop txting you and block his number.
Tell him you don't want him to walk you to your car and refuse to go anywhere with him.
Tell your Spanish teacher about this IMMEDIATELY.

Stalkers pick up on 'nice' as 'weak' and use that to their advantage. He's already learned that he can push you past your boundaries of comfort and get away with it--that he has power over you and that's bad. If you don't think you can stand up to him on your own, by all means, enlist your boyfriend, dad, random construction workers, etc. to your cause. But make sure the guy gets the message that he is to stay the hell away from you.

Heck, post his # here and I'll threaten him for you if you'd like. But don't just try to avoid him and hope that he'll go away. That's not safe.

 

[Badjedidude]

shank a bitch

XD Hahahaha....this reply alone was worth the trip.

Good luck, pooferz!!! We're all rootin' for ya here!

 

[Steel]

I just wanted to thank everyone for the advice.

I've purchased some pepper spray to put on my key chain. Not just for this incident (mostly for this incident, just in case), like Steve told me, it's probably a good idea to have it anyways. I know my mom used to have a taser around the house... No idea where it went, though.

For now, I am going to keep avoiding/ignoring him for three more weeks until college gets out. After that, I am thinking about changing my number.

If something happens, or this guy keeps pushing the envelope, then I'm going to get my boyfriend involved. I am very intimidated/uncomfortable around this guy. He's a lot bigger than me...

Unfortunately it seems like I am a more aggressive/courageous person when I stand up for friends/family. When it comes to me? I just tend to hide in my shell and try to wait it out.

I did tell my grandmother and a friend. Not my boyfriend just yet. I know he'd probably want to kick this guy's ass. And that doesn't seem necessary just yet.

I think this is a very sensible course of action.

 

[shells]

Update: I finally had to confront him and tell him to leave me alone. I told him NOT to call, text, walk with or follow me to my class or car. I texted him this, because again, I'm not going to confront him in person unless I am with someone.

Told a girl friend, who knows a person from security to monitor me as I walk to and from classes. They have my schedule so they know where I will be. When I explained what this guy looked like, they said that girls were having harassment problems with a guy that matched the information I gave them.

If he continues to keep it up, I've been told to file an incident report at the college and then contact the cops.

My boyfriend now knows because I immediately called him to stay on the phone with me after I noticed that guy standing outside my class when I got out. The guy didn't bother me, this time. He ended up walking in another direction.

My boyfriend stayed on the phone with me the entire time until I got to my car, where I explained the situation and then when I was trying to get my car to start - it took FOUR tries to get it started. I was hysterical because I thought that guy might have done something - but it turned out to be a coincidence... I guess, because it started on the 5th try.

I'm not putting up with this **** of being scared and paranoid anymore. I seriously don't have the time or patience for it. Wouldn't have had to get to this point if the guy just got the ******* hint that he shouldn't be going after girls that aren't available and don't want the attention.

Grrr.... :club:

 

[Minus]

Well hopefully understand now and leaves you alone.

 

[shells]

Well hopefully understand now and leaves you alone.

I hope so, too. Not feeling as intimidated, and it's good to know that I have extra eyes around the campus now.

I also informed my Spanish teacher of the situation, so that she doesn't pair us up for class group activities.

 

[Minus]

It does sound like you have it well covered, and like they say, if he does decide to contact you again then do the report and police thing. It sounds like you made it quite clear that it was time to knock it off.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Sucka, if she "counter-stalks" him.... That's what he's after. He wants her, and he wants her attention. Hence following her... How anyone figures that would ever work, I have no idea. He's just going to take it as her leading him on, and it becomes another problem.

 

[suckaG]

Sucka, if she "counter-stalks" him.... That's what he's after. He wants her, and he wants her attention. Hence following her... How anyone figures that would ever work, I have no idea. He's just going to take it as her leading him on, and it becomes another problem.

I didn't advise for her to engage in counter-stalking, but her angry friends/relatives. give him a taste of his own medicine and whatnot. show him his actions are not going unchallenged. etc.

but yes, I totally admit and agree it's clearly not the most intelligent or safest of advice, but it came from a place of my own deep-seated hatred at guys who purposely intimidate women for their own freakish gratification.

ether way; good response shells. I really hope he doesn't screw with you or other students anymore.

 

[VanillaCreme]

If all else fails, I go with Loke.

Shank a bitch.

 

[shells]

I really want to thank everyone in this thread. You helped me work up the 'umph' to tell this guy to leave me alone. I appreciate it so much.

And... I don't think I'll have to shank him if this guy crosses the line.
Boyfriend knows now and isn't a happy camper about it.

 

[Badjedidude]

HAhahaha they should make a t-shirt that says, "Shankabitch."

POOFERZ I'm so proud of you!!!! You rock!! I absolutely think you did the right thing....and it looks like everything might work out here. ^_^ After all, you do have allies now and they're aware of the situation. The guy will probably see that and leave you alone.

Awesome.

 

[shells]

Doorbell rang tonight around 9:30ish. I looked out the window to see a car screeching off, and no one at the door.

More than likely just a coincidence/my paranoia kicking in.

Part of me really doesn't want to go to class tomorrow. He's going to be there. If I don't, then I am going to seem like a wuss. Maybe I am.

 

[Badjedidude]

Noooo you're not a wuss. You're very strong. And that's exactly why you are gonna go tomorrow...because you won't let some creepo hold you down like that. I think you'll be alright. People are informed, you're armed, and the guy has been warned.

*hug* You'll be fine.

 

[Zak]

I thought you knew how to play 'bowling'. You would have some heavy balls stored in basement aye? Time to let them loose and use them for good.

 

[shells]

LOL. Oh, dear, zak

---

jnxzdsakljfaljkf NERVOUS.

This is going to be so awkward.

 

[Zak]

Balls FTW. Steel might as well let you borrow his steel balls as well.

 

[Minus]

Part of me really doesn't want to go to class tomorrow. He's going to be there. ....

How did it go?

 

[shells]

He didn't show up. Which is good. He's ditched class a few times. Maybe he'll ditch the rest of semester and then I won't have anything to worry about.

Thanks for asking, I appreciate it.

 

[Minus]

Well i would guess that is a good sign. Hopefully it means that he doesn't wish to press things and is trying to avoid you. I imagine what he will have to show up again or fail.