I am so glad I am not a man.

[Naleena]

I have to admit I am glad to be a woman. I had a fellow ask me out on the job and I know it took him a lot of courage. I could tell because he was nervous. **giggles** I started thinking how hard it must be for men to ask a woman out. It must really suck to hear no thanks, or I'm not interested. How do you do it?

Then I started thinking more. (Which is just like me- always trying to get the big picture...lol) It must be even harder to have the "let's go steady" talk too.

I have to say I felt some admiration for that poor fellow who asked me out. You guys really put yourselves out there. Thank you for that.

 

[Antihero]

Sometimes you just have to take the chance. I did once. Going into it I even knew the response I was likely going to receive (not what I would consider positive). However, it was not completely beyond a doubt. Before when I had done nothing regarding a girl I liked it had bothered me over potential what ifs. Also, at that particular moment I really had nothing to lose.

Naleena, to be totally honest, part of me wants to call what you just said empty and patronizing, but I don't. Like the girl in my little story, how are you suppose to act when some dude tells you he wants to be more than just friends and you don't feel anything for that guy at all for one reason or another? It's not like you (or she) asked for that to happen. You might feel sympathetic for the poor bloke, but in a way I sort of feel sympathetic towards the woman being asked for some odd reason. Believe it or not I've had to reject a girl before and it's certainly not a pleasant feeling. I try to avoid being an ******* whenever I can.

It is indeed not an easy thing to do, but I am sure it is just as hard for a girl asking out a guy she fancies too.

 

[Jeremi]

How do you do it?

I don't. Too afraid of being rejected

Not that I've met someone who I've felt strong enough for to seriously think about asking. But if I did ask that person and she turned me down like that, I don't even want to think about how I'd feel

 

[Qui]

Ugh, I hate turnong people down.
About a year ago one of my close guy friends was goig to ask me out... I felt horrible but I only thought of him as a friend. So I mean, I totally shut him down before he could ask but I still feel terrible about it.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I think I can see it from both sides. If you're a person with a conscience, it's going to very uncomfortable for you to turn someone down (unless they're being an ass, of course). Not too many people want to knowingly cause anyone else any pain. It takes a certain amount of bravery to ask someone new out. There is always going to be that fear of rejection. I've asked guys a few guys out and the response was usually about 50/50. Being told he's not interested is kind of a kick to the ego, but I just remind myself that I'd have done the same if I really wasn't interested in the person. Being rejected doesn't mean the person thinks you're a sleaze (ok, well maybe sometimes it does ), it just means that they have their eye on something else or already HAVE something else in most cases. It's a risk you take, no doubt. With great risk comes the potential for either great disappointment or great reward. I guess you just have to ask yourself if you're willing to take the risk.

 

[Leef `c]

I've still never worked the courage to ask anyone out.

 

[BlackCat]

If there's someone I really like then I'll just flat out ask them. I think that women appreciate men taking the initiative, so I try to do that. If they so no then oh well .

 

[Bluey]

If there's someone I really like then I'll just flat out ask them. I think that women appreciate men taking the initiative, so I try to do that. If they so no then oh well .

That is the best attitude to have, Am with Sixtyten though, I would rather them ask me lol

 

[kelthuzad]

i actually tried..twice even. got the obvious "no ty" both times...
it sucks..then you get over it
the only advice i can think of is that if you are going to ask, do it as quickly as possible, otherwise it eats you on the inside and that sucks even more

*shrug*

 

[Silvernight]

Uh I'd gladly take advice on how to do it. Who said this is easier for girls? I'm a girl, and I like one guy but I won't even let it slip in any way, much less ask him out. Because if he finds out and he's completely not interested, I won't be able to look him in the eye afterwards and this is not something I can avoid. It'd be so much easier if he showed an interest first. Yeah right, one can dream

 

[Naleena]

I've always found the menacing looking and the angry waving of a meat clever in thier direction never fails to get a "yes, i'll go out with you".

RFLMAO!!!! Bob, you are so funny! Thanks fot the laugh!

 

[Naleena]

It is indeed not an easy thing to do, but I am sure it is just as hard for a girl asking a out guy she fancies too.

I am old fashioned. I don't ask men out. Even if I like them, I don't. I figure if they like me enough, they will ask. That might sound a little mean but, it isn't meant to be.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Uh I'd gladly take advice on how to do it. Who said this is easier for girls? I'm a girl, and I like one guy but I won't even let it slip in any way, much less ask him out. Because if he finds out and he's completely not interested, I won't be able to look him in the eye afterwards and this is not something I can avoid. It'd be so much easier if he showed an interest first. Yeah right, one can dream

Well, I will tell you what has worked for me...
Ask the guy just for coffee or something, "just as friends". Tell him you know this great new place and have been dying to try it. If he's interested at ALL, he'll jump at the chance! If he's just not into you, he'll pass. And, since you didn't have your heart on your sleeve, nothing gained, nothing lost and you two can still look each other in the eye!
I had a guy to do somethng similar to me once. We had some stuff in common and we liked each other and I think he wanted to see if there was anything else there. We met for coffee the first time. Went to a couple of concerts (we were both really into 80s music), and had dinner once. I think by the fourth "date", we both realized that, while we really liked each other, that's all it was ever going to be. But, we went places as "friends", so there was never any pressure! It was great. We did stuff together for a long time after that too. I moved, but I still talk to him via email once in a while. So, you might not get a boyfriend out of it, but you just might get lucky and find lasting friendship.

 

[Antihero]

It is indeed not an easy thing to do, but I am sure it is just as hard for a girl asking a out guy she fancies too.

I am old fashioned. I don't ask men out. Even if I like them, I don't. I figure if they like me enough, they will ask. That might sound a little mean but, it isn't meant to be.

As far as I can tell, you're in the majority. Most guys, unfortunately for some, should take this into account.

 

[bookbinder]

I try to avoid being an ******* whenever I can.

Haha you're making me look bad here, Antihero....


I've had girls ask me out and I have to admit, it was a turn on. There's nothing more attractive to me than a woman willing to break what are considered social norms.

That being said, I've also asked plenty of women out and been rejected plenty of times, and while I'm not going to say it didn't hurt at the time, the older you get it doesn't matter.

There will always be women to ask out, and there will always be women who will reject you. The fact is, and I know some of you won't believe this when you like someone that much, they're all just people. There is nothing so unique about any one person that makes them so important that two words like "no thanks" should be so damaging to one's ego. When I ask someone out, it's because they might be special (to me), not necessarily because they actually are. As long as I keep that in mind, it's no sweat.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I try to avoid being an ******* whenever I can.

Haha you're making me look bad here, Antihero....


I've had girls ask me out and I have to admit, it was a turn on. There's nothing more attractive to me than a woman willing to break what are considered social norms.

That being said, I've also asked plenty of women out and been rejected plenty of times, and while I'm not going to say it didn't hurt at the time, the older you get it doesn't matter.

Z, maybe they rejected you because you're an *******?
LOL, just kidding dude. I guess I'd better watch how much abuse I heap on your cynical ass.

 

[Fodderboy]

Well, I will tell you what has worked for me...
Ask the guy just for coffee or something, "just as friends". Tell him you know this great new place and have been dying to try it. If he's interested at ALL, he'll jump at the chance! If he's just not into you, he'll pass. And, since you didn't have your heart on your sleeve, nothing gained, nothing lost and you two can still look each other in the eye!

You said it Eve... Z-panda-thingy is right too... It's not like it's gunna kill you to invite someone out for a coffee or something. And just cause you reject somebody doesn't mean you have to feel bad about it... Just be honest and polite, that's what I like to hear whenever I'm getting shut down, some courtesy...

 

[samba101]

I never asked anyone out, never had the inclination to do so. But I've had alot of crushes.

I've said no to three guys, one when I was 15 the thing was I couldn't see him in that light. Two I was asked out at 17 by a 46 year old and couldn't see a connection to me he was only just another person that I knew, and the third was at a pub I was taking a course he was teaching, he was about 30 years old and had a partner and probably kids as well, he only wanted sex. All in all they took it quite well.

 

[EveWasFramed]

Well, I will tell you what has worked for me...
Ask the guy just for coffee or something, "just as friends". Tell him you know this great new place and have been dying to try it. If he's interested at ALL, he'll jump at the chance! If he's just not into you, he'll pass. And, since you didn't have your heart on your sleeve, nothing gained, nothing lost and you two can still look each other in the eye!

You said it Eve... Z-panda-thingy is right too... It's not like it's gunna kill you to invite someone out for a coffee or something. And just cause you reject somebody doesn't mean you have to feel bad about it... Just be honest and polite, that's what I like to hear whenever I'm getting shut down, some courtesy...

ROFLMAO @ Z-panda-thingy!!!!!!!!

 

[Minus]

I've still never worked the courage to ask anyone out.

Am i missing something. Aren't you the one who in another thread said....

Another thing, I've had 4-5 girlfriends since we broke ....