I am so glad I am not a man.

[EveWasFramed]

I've still never worked the courage to ask anyone out.

Am i missing something. Aren't you the one who in another thread said....

Another thing, I've had 4-5 girlfriends since we broke ....

eerrrrrr.....

 

[frey12]

As far as crushes went I haven't had any in ages. But as far as experience went I asked out friends because I didn't have anyone I was interested in. I got turned down and that made things easier because I didn't care that i was being asked out. But this was in high school, and it was misconstrued as me being interested in them which I found funny. But I am rather picky, and as far as someone catching my eye it takes months so after i get rejected I tend to run back to my apartment to hide. Because I wasted my time. And need that time to get my ego back.

 

[Silvernight]

Uh I'd gladly take advice on how to do it. Who said this is easier for girls? I'm a girl, and I like one guy but I won't even let it slip in any way, much less ask him out. Because if he finds out and he's completely not interested, I won't be able to look him in the eye afterwards and this is not something I can avoid. It'd be so much easier if he showed an interest first. Yeah right, one can dream

Well, I will tell you what has worked for me...
Ask the guy just for coffee or something, "just as friends". Tell him you know this great new place and have been dying to try it. If he's interested at ALL, he'll jump at the chance! If he's just not into you, he'll pass. And, since you didn't have your heart on your sleeve, nothing gained, nothing lost and you two can still look each other in the eye!
I had a guy to do somethng similar to me once. We had some stuff in common and we liked each other and I think he wanted to see if there was anything else there. We met for coffee the first time. Went to a couple of concerts (we were both really into 80s music), and had dinner once. I think by the fourth "date", we both realized that, while we really liked each other, that's all it was ever going to be. But, we went places as "friends", so there was never any pressure! It was great. We did stuff together for a long time after that too. I moved, but I still talk to him via email once in a while. So, you might not get a boyfriend out of it, but you just might get lucky and find lasting friendship.

I wish I were that brave Well, next week we will all depart for a kung fu seminar in Hungary and he will most certainly be there as he's one of the trainers. Perhaps I'll get lucky somehow

 

[jjam]

But some women have the tits to ask guys out, and I feel sorry for those brave souls who get declined. I haven't been put in the position to decline often, but I have had to decline a couple recently and it sucks being in that position. I'd much rather be in a position to say yes, but EVERY girl I've ever wanted to be with, from my first love on up, I've had to approach and be brave with. Fortunately, I haven't been turned down often, but it's a hard thing to do, which is part of why I haven't done it often, I guess.

 

[EveWasFramed]

But some women have the tits to ask guys out, and I feel sorry for those brave souls who get declined. I haven't been put in the position to decline often, but I have had to decline a couple recently and it sucks being in that position. I'd much rather be in a position to say yes, but EVERY girl I've ever wanted to be with, from my first love on up, I've had to approach and be brave with. Fortunately, I haven't been turned down often, but it's a hard thing to do, which is part of why I haven't done it often, I guess.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

 

[Chris 2]

I have to admit I am glad to be a woman. I had a fellow ask me out on the job and I know it took him a lot of courage. I could tell because he was nervous. **giggles** I started thinking how hard it must be for men to ask a woman out. It must really suck to hear no thanks, or I'm not interested. How do you do it?

Then I started thinking more. (Which is just like me- always trying to get the big picture...lol) It must be even harder to have the "let's go steady" talk too.

I have to say I felt some admiration for that poor fellow who asked me out. You guys really put yourselves out there. Thank you for that.

I don't do it, and I don't know how. It hard enough just to get a girl to give you her phone number, but if I'm a girl and don't have any guy to ask me out, I think that would be worst. It ironic I never have been rejected cause I never ask any girl out but in another sense it like I been through years of rejection. Oh yes I rather been a women instead and be a les.

 

[Raven22]

It is just as hard for for a Woman to ask a Man out and be rejected just as much as it is for a Man to ask a Woman out and be rejected.
All people are different when it comes to having had the courage to ask someone out or tell them your true feelings, and be turned down,only to then have to either keep seeing them or chatting as if nothing has happened, or just curl up and want to hide, and never speak to them again. It takes courage to do either.

 

[ardour]

Rejection sucks for anyone. Men have additional worries about not coming across pushy, overbearing, or 'entitled' while having to read signals that are subtle if the person is either uncomfortable or otherwise embarrassed.

It's probably not that fun to have to turn down interest from those your not interesting in on a regular basis either.

 

[mickey]

How much simpler and happier life would be if we could all relate to each other as people instead of romance crap getting in the way and causing messes.

I'm delighted to be asexual and in a position to keep women at arm's length.

 

[HoodedMonk]

How much simpler and happier life would be if we could all relate to each other as people instead of romance crap getting in the way and causing messes.

I'm delighted to be asexual and in a position to keep women at arm's length.

Did you choose to be asexual or was it something you were born with?

 

[hugswithtrees]

It must really suck to hear no thanks, or I'm not interested. How do you do it?

Way to go Naleena! I think it takes courage for both men and women to do that, I hope the effort you've made pays off

Personally I am in a situation where I simply can't date or be a conventional person, so I guess I just gave up on the idea. If things were different it'd be nice to have someone in my life, I feel like I have a lot to give but even the best of us get a bit too disheartened after a while.

 

[Sometimes]

I hated dating so much that I decided not to do it, somewhere in high school. Instead, I decided to "do stuff" with people. So, if I already had something I wanted to do, I could ask someone to do it with me, and they might say yes, but I'd still do the thing I wanted to do if they said no. If someone "asked me out", I found out first what they wanted to do, and decided if I wanted to do that thing, as the primary issue. So I ended up having motorcycling buddies, and never went to movies

 

[there is no hope]

Being a man is awesome. The only problems with being a man are the ones society places on us because of their twisted values system, and that sexuality itself is a fairly disgusting process - but then the latter can be resolved by avoiding sex, which is quite common for the male whether they want it or not.

 

[RodMark]

Generally if I feel like I have the chemistry with a woman to work something like that I'm not too nervous about asking her out it just wears on you when every single time in your life you've tried it's failed. If I had succeeded even a little I'd just be able to have fun with it. Though I rarely am able to meet someone I feel that kind of chemistry with either.

The worst was recently when someone I had spent some time with more or less said "yes", and happily agreed to go on a date with me. But then found someone they liked better before we were able to go on this date, and then tried to act like the whole thing never even happened until I twisted her arm(not literally!) and got her to actually acknowledge it. That wasn't a fun experience and I really thought that one was going to work.

I figure it's just as tough for a woman to have to hurt someone she might really like, just not be interested in.

 

[mickey]

How much simpler and happier life would be if we could all relate to each other as people instead of romance crap getting in the way and causing messes.

I'm delighted to be asexual and in a position to keep women at arm's length.

Did you choose to be asexual or was it something you were born with?

I believe I was born that way. But because I have normal physical equipment, it was always assumed that I was an ordinary heterosexual cockhound and simply needed to "become a man." That led me to waste decades pursuing the mirage of sex and feeling like there was something wrong with me. It was only about five years ago that I heard about asexuality and began the journey toward accepting that it's okay to be the way I am. And now I think being the way I am is absolutely wonderful because it avoids messes. To me nobody is either a f***hole for my erection or a sperm donor who can help me have a baby. That makes my life clean and my dealings with people mostly constructive. If I have flaws they have nothing to do with the standard prejudices that sexuality creates about the opposite sex.

---

I hated dating so much that I decided not to do it, somewhere in high school. Instead, I decided to "do stuff" with people. So, if I already had something I wanted to do, I could ask someone to do it with me, and they might say yes, but I'd still do the thing I wanted to do if they said no. If someone "asked me out", I found out first what they wanted to do, and decided if I wanted to do that thing, as the primary issue. So I ended up having motorcycling buddies, and never went to movies

LOL that's so wonderful! Thank you for my happy smile of the day!

 

[blackdot]

I started thinking how hard it must be for men to ask a woman out. It must really suck to hear no thanks, or I'm not interested. How do you do it?

Plus, if a guy does that at an office place, they risk getting fired from a sexual harassment claim.