First let me say that I am and always have been mostly a loner. I have "friends" but none that i regularly hang out with. I keep to myself and kind of like it that way. I have only been on a few dates, none have gone past the first. I am also a virgin. The reason I am hung up on my sexuality is because I think I am somewhere in between straight and pansexual. For those that don't know, one of the things that determines pansexuality is being attracted to personality regardless of gender. Pansexuals can be attracted to male, female and everything in between including transsexuals, cross dressers, androgynous people, etc. For me its not quite like that though. I am not and have never been attracted to actual men. However, if I were to be dating a woman and the relationship got sexual and it turns out she had a "surprise" between her legs, I honestly wouldn't care. I also often find myself attracted to rather androgynous looking women, though there isn't much doubt that they are women. I don't care whats between someones legs. I just want them to be feminine. If this person was a transsexual I would want them to be "passable" in terms of looking like a woman. I would even rather them not have had gender re-assignment surgery. I have wondered if still being a virgin at 28 has anything to do with this. So I have even gone to the lengths of looking at transsexual pornography in an attempt to see if I really do feel this way and I'm pretty sure that I do. I can be legitimately turned on by transsexuals. Sorry if I'm not really supposed to mention pornography or anything like that here, but I thought it was important to add to all the information of this post. I am also in no way feminine myself. I look and act male and if anyone knew i felt this way I think they would honestly be shocked. So what exactly does this make me?
I am somewhat confused by my sexuality.
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Well.. why bother to put a name for it? It is just you like feminine people. To have a name for it, this will not change much, will it?
Solitary man
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I'm not too keen on the term "pansexuality", as it sounds a bit pretentious, as if you were attempting to acquire some sort of special status.
Sounds like you are a bisexual with a simple fetish for transsexuals. And that's perfectly understandable, as transsexuals are composed of both genders, and somewhere in between exclusively male and female.
It makes you one of the many bisexual women out there who likes transsexuals. I'm not going to express any value judgements on your predilection, other than "each to their own".
Sounds like you are a bisexual with a simple fetish for transsexuals. And that's perfectly understandable, as transsexuals are composed of both genders, and somewhere in between exclusively male and female.
It makes you one of the many bisexual women out there who likes transsexuals. I'm not going to express any value judgements on your predilection, other than "each to their own".
I only chose the term pansexual because it is the closest thing I could find that defines me. The part about being attracted to personality more than anything really does define me though. I dont mean to sound pretentious by it. By definition being bisexual means being attracted to men and women, and that is not the case for me. I am not attracted to men and never have been. I am a male that is attracted to femininity which to me leans more towards being straight. Even when it comes to transsexuals if they are too manly i don't like it. But not caring about what equipment they have kind of goes against that.
Solitary man
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If you are a male who claims that he is not attracted to men, but are attracted to "femininity", and don't care if the feminine person is in possession of a cock or a vagina, that makes you a bisexual, whether you like or agree with that term or not.
edgecrusher
Well-known member
i dont know if i agree thats its as simple as to just say the OP is bisexual. i would say its somewhere in between straight and bisexual. it is kind of a weird situation to me. i havent heard of anyone that is quite like that. though i do understand being attracted to personality much more than appearance when it comes to women.
I pretty much do nothing, but fantasize about everything. When fantasizing, the dirtier the better, when actualizing, clean and romantic. I am only attracted to women, but often relate more to masculine women.
Sex is the energy of creation, all the universe is male and female. The binary computer is made in it's likeness.
Sex is the kundalini serpent. I am trying something new. Rather then fantasize, use sex energy to make the kundalini serpent rise into higher states of consciousness.
Sex is the energy of creation, all the universe is male and female. The binary computer is made in it's likeness.
Sex is the kundalini serpent. I am trying something new. Rather then fantasize, use sex energy to make the kundalini serpent rise into higher states of consciousness.
frey12
Well-known member
ifonly said:
I apologize for the ignorance of other folks on this forum. The very first thing I want to point out is you need to spend time with people. You aren't going to discover more about who you are or what your preferences are without meeting and sharing experiences with others. Now I don't know your interests or you life situation. There are groups that you can go and spend time talking about this stuff with. Like in college and high schools there is a group called queer alliance where you would probably fit right in. It's entire purpose it to be a safe haven for straight and LGBT community to talk to each other. Now if you aren't in college I am sure there is some adult equivalent for you to find just search for it.
LeaningIntoTheMuse
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It definitely sounds like you're either bi-sexual, or bi-curious.
Badjedidude
Well-known member
I'll never understand why people are so confused about this ****.
Just get out there and **** several hundreds things and eventually you'll figure out what things you like to ****. It's that simple, if you ignore social convention and expectations and familial/peer pressure on the subject.
Just get out there and **** several hundreds things and eventually you'll figure out what things you like to ****. It's that simple, if you ignore social convention and expectations and familial/peer pressure on the subject.
ifonly said:
Hello there.
I'd like to give my two cents on the matter: I am a pansexual. My best friend is a pansexual. I have spent many confusing years trying to figure out what was "wrong" with me. However, it's more a matter of likes and dislikes.
From what I gather from your post, I'd say you are a pansexual. There is no in-between straight and that. Let me give you some real life examples (since I have sought out in the past years and have surrounded myself with this rare type of people). For one, I started out as straight, but gradually discovered I didn't care about the biological package at all. I've had both boyfriends and girlfriends, but I generally like the male personalities, in either gender. A lot like your situation, but in reverse (being female and all). A friend of mine (female also), on the other hand, started out with girls rather than boys. She now has a boyfriend.
What I am trying to say is that you'll eventually discover more layers to your preferences. Think of it this way: some like blondes, some like brunettes, some like muscles, some don't... those are all things straight or gay or bisexuals would say when describing their preferences. As a pansexual, you can only describe what you like in terms of character or personality or other matters of the mind.
You shouldn't beat yourself up for it.
And I know how it feels to be regarded as a freak or to shock people, that's why, eventually, I ended up seeking out people who think like me. There is a lot more to say about experiences with people who claim to understand and don't, but if you want more, a private discussion would be more appropriate I think.
Also, being a virgin at 28 has nothing to do with it. You like what you like. You should be proud to know what you like. Very few actually do.
-
Now, for the other issues addressed in other replies. I do believe (strongly for that matter) that putting the name pansexual to oneself is not, in any way, pretentious, but helps line out, at least for the wearer of such name, a sort of direction. When I first discovered the concept, I felt so calm and at peace with myself. You can't imagine how normal it made me feel.
On another matter, after some extensive reading, I allow myself to think of 5 major sexuality interpretations or directions and whatnot: heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, asexuality and pansexuality.
The more used "omnisexuality" is just a myth invented for the purpose of alien-loving. Haha.
Joke aside, pansexuals and asexuals are rare creatures. I have yet to meet an asexual.
Ok, enough ranting. Thank you for reading. If my style of writing offended anyone, I will try and clarify (can be a little... sharp around the edges sometimes). Also, I'm sorry if this post seems like talking about myself, but the only thoughts I can share relate to my personal experiences, so yeah....
TheSolitaryMan
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Badjedidude said:
Well, I guess that makes sense. Most people can't ignore that stuff really, though. Not without damaging their home life or risking expulsion by the people they love.
Not to mention feeling upset/violated if you have end up in bed with someone that you discover you're not attracted to.
Can you imagine someone male wondering if they're gay, sleeping with a guy, then realising they're not? That'd probably feel awfully cheap, at the very least highly embarrassing.
Or maybe you're right and that's just my take on it. I'm pretty stuffy when it comes to sharing beds with people...and I even know my sexuality :shy:
While you totally lost me with the last bit there Phaedron, I have to say I found your likeness of sex and the binary system to be rather intriguing
Lonesome Crow
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I'm heterasexual but had being involved with serveral sets of Bi sexual women.
My last rondevu made me questioned my sexaulity, the meaning of love and relationship.
The love triangle, open relationship, jealoucy issues and dramma of it all.
These Bi sexual women prefer men as their predominate partner or to protraid the so call Normal
to society..I guess.
Im not sure...but there were defintely territorial issues going on between the women.
At the sametime i was thinking...Holy ****!!!!!
One High maintenance woman is bad enough. Now I gotta deal with 2 High maintenance chicks.LOL
But My first rondevu with Bi Sexaul women. The 2 women lived together. They were finacially secured.
I was thier boy toy. So not all bi sexual women are the same. IDK
But one of them wanted to married me or have me as her domiate lover and sex partner.
For a while, i nevered thought Id be sexuality satisfy unless I was doing threesome
or be able to form a monogamist realtionship. Im not sure if it becuase of sexual addiction.
The people I was hanging with. The ideas and beliefs being toss around. And i bought into it...
Willingly. I thought i would live like that and be okay with that.
It also made me question my beliefs system. How i was raised. The morals and values instill in me.
Where those true or they are just any ideas. My parents ideas of what life ought to be.
While i would like to just isolate my sexuality to just that....leaving the morals and values out of the equation.
It's hasnt been that cut and dry for me.
But A special person came back into my life. Kind of set my soul on fire.
She blew my heart and mind. She re awoken my kundalini?
I felt I could form or want a monogamist realtionship with her. The love of my life.
Phaedron seeing through the eyes of the Lotus.lol
As far as my own personal experince with sexuality and being with god, the source..etc
I felt it serveral times in my life. Its beyound being in love and romance.
Ive had sex thousands of time...but only with one certain person I felt that union ,peace or trinity.
It's like two souls doing a dance in the presence of god and making love with god.
My last rondevu made me questioned my sexaulity, the meaning of love and relationship.
The love triangle, open relationship, jealoucy issues and dramma of it all.
These Bi sexual women prefer men as their predominate partner or to protraid the so call Normal
to society..I guess.
Im not sure...but there were defintely territorial issues going on between the women.
At the sametime i was thinking...Holy ****!!!!!
One High maintenance woman is bad enough. Now I gotta deal with 2 High maintenance chicks.LOL
But My first rondevu with Bi Sexaul women. The 2 women lived together. They were finacially secured.
I was thier boy toy. So not all bi sexual women are the same. IDK
But one of them wanted to married me or have me as her domiate lover and sex partner.
For a while, i nevered thought Id be sexuality satisfy unless I was doing threesome
or be able to form a monogamist realtionship. Im not sure if it becuase of sexual addiction.
The people I was hanging with. The ideas and beliefs being toss around. And i bought into it...
Willingly. I thought i would live like that and be okay with that.
It also made me question my beliefs system. How i was raised. The morals and values instill in me.
Where those true or they are just any ideas. My parents ideas of what life ought to be.
While i would like to just isolate my sexuality to just that....leaving the morals and values out of the equation.
It's hasnt been that cut and dry for me.
But A special person came back into my life. Kind of set my soul on fire.
She blew my heart and mind. She re awoken my kundalini?
I felt I could form or want a monogamist realtionship with her. The love of my life.
Phaedron seeing through the eyes of the Lotus.lol
As far as my own personal experince with sexuality and being with god, the source..etc
I felt it serveral times in my life. Its beyound being in love and romance.
Ive had sex thousands of time...but only with one certain person I felt that union ,peace or trinity.
It's like two souls doing a dance in the presence of god and making love with god.
Badjedidude
Well-known member
TheSolitaryMan said:
Haha... well, see.... you can't take everything I say at face value. I don't mean LITERALLY go out and have sex with anything that moves. I exaggerated a teeny bit.
My POINT was that we have to actually get off our ***** and go exploring these things if we want to figure them out.
Think you (not you... I'm speaking to everyone here
) might be gay? Try just going on a first date with someone of the same sex. Don't actually have sex with them, just spend time hanging out and getting to know the person, and maybe ask yourself if you're romantically attracted to that person.Things like that.
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