I didn't know where else to talk about it,

[Dogg]

Hello, so most of the time when people have problems they talk to someone, it's not that I don't have "friends" but it's complicated, my life is manupulating, decieving, and convincing everyone. All the time, even in my childhood, it's not something I picked up over time either, It was natural. To hide my motives, ideas, "personalities", and even my thoughts, I guess you could say I was anti social, but I'm not, I turned socializing into a game, creating tests for people, seeing what people really are, without letting them know what I am. At first I thought it was for my own lust and greed and even somewhat approval of everyone. But it wasn't, I was lieng to my own self, the money it mattered for a while then I noticed, I'm way to simple I don't want much. The parties, they were amazing for everyone else but, id sit in silence smoking a lot of weed to myself, I wasn't an alcoholic either or a hard drug attic so there wasn't much for me at the time. The woman, 99% were just interested in wealth, but every now and then I'd find someone whos attracted to me for different reasons. Oh and let's not forget being my own boss, because having the balls to do things people won't gives you a huge advantage, but all of that soon didn't matter to me. I was living a lie, I was always something I'm not, yet so good at convincing people I was it was believable, always being first and last, making the "plan" and being 20 steps ahead at all times. Even turning my enemies against each other, you could easily say it was one big con. A trick, master at fooling people. And one day I was done with it all, I packed up my money, hopped in my Whip, called up my little "crew" and told them I was gonna be busy all day, threw all my phones out the window.. It was a really long drive it took me three days, it was almost a 2,000 mile drive, my car broke down a lot, it was Arizona to Michigan, and when I got here I sold my car, and bought a trail blazer, moved into a small apartment. And got a job at a gas station. Really I didn't need the job or to leave, I just felt as if, 25+ years of my life. Was wasted being someone I'm not. And I learned, Be yourself. And I wanted to put this up somewhere for 2 reasons and I'm not lieng about this, 1. To get it out of my system and talk about it, 2. To let you al learn something