I don't know what to do.

[newguy]

Ok so this might be a little long:

I'm 22 year old male, and I have a couple things making me feel crappy. Number 1. I am mentally ill, I have depression, OCD, anxiety, and avoidant personality disorder. All of these things make me feel bad and make others view me differently. I've had psychotic breakdown in my teens, I was made fun of by a dr, I was made fun of by my mom, and a religious leader in my congregation. I'm afraid of how people view me now.

Number 2. Embarrassing problem - I have a small penis braley only (3.5) erect, and I'm not trolling I swear. Because of my religion beliefs I don't believe in sex before marriage, so technically its my choice to be a virgin, however I want to get married and have sex, but with my small penis I avoid the opportunity. So then again I guess not. I don't know where to turn to for support on this, every advice forum I went was negative. Suggestions like cuckholding, and humiliation doesn't really help. Can't I just have a regular monogamous marriage? Well it seems like the anwser is no. So I'm a virgin and I avoid women and relationships with them becuase I don't want to develop romantic feelings.

My masculinty is shot, when I was young my sisters would dress me up like a girl, now they make fun of me in front of their girlfriends. I have three sisters and all my life women have domainated me. I love them and I don't want to hurt their feelings so I let them say what they want. I try and let it slide off, but lots of times it just stays there. I just want to be a normal guy, but I don't fit in anywhere.

I feel like a freak, I'm scared of how my future will be like. Anyway thanks for reading.

 

[Sci-Fi]

Well first off those people who made fun of you, and I hate to say this about someones mother, they are @$$holes.

About your other problem, there are guys who are in the same situation who find ways to fulfill their wives. You don't have to have a humongous penis, four play. That's what toys are for.

It isn't unusual for sisters to dress their little brothers up, but the fact that they make fun of you in front of others, I know you said you love them but what a bunch of b!tches.

What these people do to you just drive me crazy. It seems like you are surrounded by bullies, no wonder you feel the way you do about yourself. You are not a freak, you are a human being who deserves to be treated like one. Next time they want to belittle you in front of others tell them to grow up.

 

[newguy]

Well first off those people who made fun of you, and I hate to say this about someones mother, they are @$$holes.

About your other problem, there are guys who are in the same situation who find ways to fulfill their wives. You don't have to have a humongous penis, four play. That's what toys are for.

It isn't unusual for sisters to dress their little brothers up, but the fact that they make fun of you in front of others, I know you said you love them but what a bunch of b!tches.

What these people do to you just drive me crazy. It seems like you are surrounded by bullies, no wonder you feel the way you do about yourself. You are not a freak, you are a human being who deserves to be treated like one. Next time they want to belittle you in front of others tell them to grow up.

Oh god thank you so much. Like I said the sites I went on where full of bullies.

 

[painter's radio]

I think you need to distance yourself from your family and your religion. You've let people tell you what to believe, denying your natural urges and desires beyond reason, to the point where you sound like you'll financially tie yourself to another person just to have sex with them (or at least this will be an unneccessarily big factor or persuation for you, clouding your mind). You've let and continue to let yourself be humiliated and your self-esteem has suffered because of it. It's time to do something about it. Do something for yourself for once, make your own decisions, live your own life, form your own beliefs. Look around you and inside of you and ask yourself if these people are healthy for you and if your beliefs are actually beliefs or just things you've been spoonfed from a young age.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I think you need to distance yourself from your family and your religion.

I don't think it's anyone's place to tell someone to distance themselves from their religion. Just because it's outside of your scope of belief about sex, doesn't mean that it's wrong for another person to follow what sex means to them.

I don't think his religion has anything to do with his self-esteem issues, more likely it's due to people from his church making fun of him. Sounds like he has some ****** people at his church.

 

[painter's radio]

He's made it my place to offer my opinion by asking on a public forum. I was quite careful with my words as you see in the part you quoted I started with the words "I think", which means it is obviously my opinion based on the details he has given us, not once did I tell him to do it, you make it sound like I ordered him to, when in fact it was just a suggestion. Is it really out of line to put forth the notion that a human being try to think for themselves or make their own choices in life based on what they consider right or wrong, not someone else?

I guess I can see your point though. Don't blame the religion - it's the people. Good and bad people in every group. A fair point, if we were even going there. I was quite short with my ideas and just saw 2 bad things he talked about: family and religion. For sure, stick with your beliefs, I respect that.

Perhaps I should rephrase:

Stand up for yourself, don't let other people treat you badly, distance yourself from those who do.

 

[newguy]

I don't want to separate from my religion, there are people that are jerks and what not. However 90% of my religious experience is positive. I also did distanced myself from the person who said that. I am trying to distance myself from family, however I don't make enough money to move out. As far as sex even if I had the money and the opportunity for marriage I don't feel confident doing so because of this being small. I have small hands, small feet, I'm short, and I got a small penis. I feel inferior and unmarriageable. People call me "little man" because I'm shorter then everyone.
I'm not very smart either, or talented.
Also I am not offended by your suggestions either. They do have some merit. Standing up for myself has been a hard thing to do for me. I'm going to try. Is just that I've hated myself for so long that standing up has been and alien idea. If that makes sense.

 

[WallflowerGirl83]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through all this. It's never easy being teased or bullied, you kind of almost lose your voice and never want to speak up for yourself. I just think you need to find yourself, try to concentrate on yourself and do something good for you.

Not sure what else to say on the matter. Hope all goes well with you.

 

[newguy]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through all this. It's never easy being teased or bullied, you kind of almost lose your voice and never want to speak up for yourself. I just think you need to find yourself, try to concentrate on yourself and do something good for you.

Not sure what else to say on the matter. Hope all goes well with you.

trying, it's hard. though I cant find a niche. For example I joined a forum and tried to discuss philosophy and the topic was "meditation". I was trying to bring out how in many cultures mediation can also mean "concretion" or "contemplation". So rather emptying the mind, some traditions say fill it. I couldn't get the point across and looked like a fool. I was probably wrong anyway, but I know i came off stupid. I also try to be good at art, music and suck etc.

The only thing I am good at is being a nice guy I guess. I can make people laugh, but Idk.

I don't even call myself a man. When people call me a man I feel embarrassed. I don't have a gender identity problem, I just don't feel like a man.

There a some many smarter guys, more interesting and better looking,
I get depressed and lonely too. I just read, watch tv, surf the web, and play with my cat. How pathetic.....

 

[I'm Not a Doctor]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through all this. It's never easy being teased or bullied, you kind of almost lose your voice and never want to speak up for yourself. I just think you need to find yourself, try to concentrate on yourself and do something good for you.

Not sure what else to say on the matter. Hope all goes well with you.

trying, it's hard. though I cant find a niche. For example I joined a forum and tried to discuss philosophy and the topic was "meditation". I was trying to bring out how in many cultures mediation can also mean "concretion" or "contemplation". So rather emptying the mind, some traditions say fill it. I couldn't get the point across and looked like a fool. I was probably wrong anyway, but I know i came off stupid. I also try to be good at art, music and suck etc.

The only thing I am good at is being a nice guy I guess. I can make people laugh, but Idk.

I don't even call myself a man. When people call me a man I feel embarrassed. I don't have a gender identity problem, I just don't feel like a man.

There a some many smarter guys, more interesting and better looking,
I get depressed and lonely too. I just read, watch tv, surf the web, and play with my cat. How pathetic.....

There are always smarter guys, more interesting and better looking. That's not what makes you a man. I think you need a little more faith in yourself. A friend once told me that your body becomes what your mind tells it what it is. Everybody has good and bad things. You say you're good at being a nice guy and making people laugh. Continue doing that and every time you make someone laugh, take a moment to compliment yourself on making someone else's day better.

Never think that you're less than what you actually are, because you're a man. The fact that you're able to admit your shortcomings makes you a bigger man than many people out there.

 

[newguy]

Thanks. I really do care about what people think, and I know this is what people tell not to do. But don't want to be viewed badly. I know I'm a nerd, virginal, small penis, mental issues, and overall weird guy. This doesn't make people dislike me, however I think they a put off by my weirdness. A lot of people think I'm gay or aesxual becuase I never dated a girl. I know I could get a girl, I'm not trying to be cocky, but I'm funny, and charming. But I feel like a eunuch so I just back away from all opportunity.

People think I'm a nerd becuase I really like video games. I'm viewed as effeminate sometimes, because of my gentle nature, I like to touch tress and plants. I've always loved them, now that science has revealed that plants, tress etc smell, communicate with each other, and may even be conscious which I think is amazing. So I feel a kinship with animals and nature.

Ps I don't wanna give me sisters a bad rep, they're the greatest. But they are insensitive sometimes, they also don't think anything is wrong becuase I just stay quiet. So it really is my fault. My mom and dad are crazy I won't deny that.

 

[LoneKiller]

"..I was made fun of by my mom, and a religious leader in my congregation.."

That is absolutely appalling! Your mother and that "Leader" need a refresher course on how to treat a fellow believer. It's bad enough dealing with punks like that these days let alone your own mother and a church going person.

It's pretty damn hard to have positive fellowship when another is acting like an insensitive, insecure prick. I have more disdain for the religious "Leader". He can't be going around preaching the gospel and conduct himself like that.

I'm certainly no saint. I mess up a lot, but one thing I don't do is make fun of others. He may be a leader in your congregation, but needs to hear a few things. I want you to walk up to this "Leader" and ask him or her 2 simple questions:

Ask:
1. "..Why are you making fun of me?"

2. "..Do you think that Jesus would do that?"

If I had $1,000 to bet that I can guess what the replies to the above questions will be. I'd do it in a second.

In a pathetic attempt to answer the first question and rid himself of the guilt of making fun of you, he will say.." Oh! HaHa, I was just joking around with ya as he pats you on the back with a phony ******** smile hoping to the Almighty Himself that you buy his act.
People make fun of others all the time and when confronted, say that they were just joking.

It's an easy and quick answer that often defuses the awkwardness. The second question isn't as easy to answer. Especially since he understands the gravity a question like that has. His reaction to the second question will be much different since he isn't prepared to answer a religious based question that he doesn't know is coming. There's a good chance of a 4-6 second blank look on his face as he tries his damnedest to come up with a reasonable answer that will sound sincere and truthful.

Now you have him by the balls. He will then sort through his mental scripture Rolodex as fast as he can and quote a few convoluted passages in an attempt to answer you in a way that he hopes will help him to avoid giving you an answer that any believer could answer in 3 seconds flat.

I apologize for being grumpy here, but you don't deserve what you are getting from the very people you need to stand a chance of feeling cared for and accepted in this world.

 

[newguy]

"..I was made fun of by my mom, and a religious leader in my congregation.."

That is absolutely appalling! Your mother and that "Leader" need a refresher course on how to treat a fellow believer. It's bad enough dealing with punks like that these days let alone your own mother and a church going person.

It's pretty damn hard to have positive fellowship when another is acting like an insensitive, insecure prick. I have more disdain for the religious "Leader". He can't be going around preaching the gospel and conduct himself like that.

I'm certainly no saint. I mess up a lot, but one thing I don't do is make fun of others. He may be a leader in your congregation, but needs to hear a few things. I want you to walk up to this "Leader" and ask him or her 2 simple questions:

Ask:
1. "..Why are you making fun of me?"

2. "..Do you think that Jesus would do that?"

If I had $1,000 to bet that I can guess what the replies to the above questions will be. I'd do it in a second.

In a pathetic attempt to answer the first question and rid himself of the guilt of making fun of you, he will say.." Oh! HaHa, I was just joking around with ya as he pats you on the back with a phony ******** smile hoping to the Almighty Himself that you buy his act.
People make fun of others all the time and when confronted, say that they were just joking.

It's an easy and quick answer that often defuses the awkwardness. The second question isn't as easy to answer. Especially since he understands the gravity a question like that has. His reaction to the second question will be much different since he isn't prepared to answer a religious based question that he doesn't know is coming. There's a good chance of a 4-6 second blank look on his face as he tries his damnedest to come up with a reasonable answer that will sound sincere and truthful.

Now you have him by the balls. He will then sort through his mental scripture Rolodex as fast as he can and quote a few convoluted passages in an attempt to answer you in a way that he hopes will help him to avoid giving you an answer that any believer could answer in 3 seconds flat.

I apologize for being grumpy here, but you don't deserve what you are getting from the very people you need to stand a chance of feeling cared for and accepted in this world.

Oh thanks for your support. It happened like 2 years ago and I haven't seen him in about a year - so I won't ask those questions. It didn't hurt as much as my mom words though. I felt bad because when she was really sick I took care of her. I'm passive aggressive so I avoid conflict. I've only been close to fights:

1. I was 11 and a midget was being made fun of by teenagers and I yelled at them and almost fought them.

2. 21 years old a much bigger and taller guy was bumping me and my sister around in around in a concert. I got in his face and made him leave. He said "Ill break your f@&$cking face", I told him "if your going to do it, do it."

99% of the time I let it slide off me. I only get mad when other people are hurt.

 

[LoneKiller]

"..I was made fun of by my mom, and a religious leader in my congregation.."

That is absolutely appalling! Your mother and that "Leader" need a refresher course on how to treat a fellow believer. It's bad enough dealing with punks like that these days let alone your own mother and a church going person.

It's pretty damn hard to have positive fellowship when another is acting like an insensitive, insecure prick. I have more disdain for the religious "Leader". He can't be going around preaching the gospel and conduct himself like that.

I'm certainly no saint. I mess up a lot, but one thing I don't do is make fun of others. He may be a leader in your congregation, but needs to hear a few things. I want you to walk up to this "Leader" and ask him or her 2 simple questions:

Ask:
1. "..Why are you making fun of me?"

2. "..Do you think that Jesus would do that?"

If I had $1,000 to bet that I can guess what the replies to the above questions will be. I'd do it in a second.

In a pathetic attempt to answer the first question and rid himself of the guilt of making fun of you, he will say.." Oh! HaHa, I was just joking around with ya as he pats you on the back with a phony ******** smile hoping to the Almighty Himself that you buy his act.
People make fun of others all the time and when confronted, say that they were just joking.

It's an easy and quick answer that often defuses the awkwardness. The second question isn't as easy to answer. Especially since he understands the gravity a question like that has. His reaction to the second question will be much different since he isn't prepared to answer a religious based question that he doesn't know is coming. There's a good chance of a 4-6 second blank look on his face as he tries his damnedest to come up with a reasonable answer that will sound sincere and truthful.

Now you have him by the balls. He will then sort through his mental scripture Rolodex as fast as he can and quote a few convoluted passages in an attempt to answer you in a way that he hopes will help him to avoid giving you an answer that any believer could answer in 3 seconds flat.

I apologize for being grumpy here, but you don't deserve what you are getting from the very people you need to stand a chance of feeling cared for and accepted in this world.

Oh thanks for your support. It happened like 2 years ago and I haven't seen him in about a year - so I won't ask those questions. It didn't hurt as much as my mom words though. I felt bad because when she was really sick I took care of her. I'm passive aggressive so I avoid conflict. I've only been close to fights:

1. I was 11 and a midget was being made fun of by teenagers and I yelled at them and almost fought them.

2. 21 years old a much bigger and taller guy was bumping me and my sister around in around in a concert. I got in his face and made him leave. He said "Ill break your f@&$cking face", I told him "if your going to do it, do it."

99% of the time I let it slide off me. I only get mad when other people are hurt.

I understand. It's good to meet you newguy. I'm 38yo, but I do remember suffering through some of what you have experienced when I was younger. It wasn't from my mother or a religious figure. It was mostly from school teachers and other students.

As far as the penis thing goes. Don't dwell on it. If memory serves, most of the ******l nerves if you will, are within the first couple of inches I think. It's been so long since I've been with a lady I can't be sure. lol

All kidding aside, I think it took a lot of guts to post here and share such intimate details with us about what you are struggling with and you quest to get better and find solace in your life. That in itself is a true sign of the strength and desire it takes to succeed in life. I wish you every bit of happiness in your life.

Should you feel the need to talk(or type I guess)at any time, please get in touch. If you want, you can send me that "Leader's" e-mail if you get it. I'd really love to chat with him.

God Bless.
LK

 

[newguy]

Thanks, lone killer. Idk know about the inches in the ******. All I know is from my research is that this is a problem for women. The hard thing is accepting a life of celibacy forever (this has nothing to do with my religion btw).How do you get rid of sexual urges? Seriously I even looked into chemical castraion, I don't want to have to go through relationships where my wife cheats me or leaves me because of this. In the tanners scale I'm the size of where a normal 12 year old should be. My height too is the height of 12 year old as well. The worst part is my dr says I'm normal - 3 1/2 erect normal! 5'4 normal! Wth. She said its genetic I have to live this way. My father is twice my height and bigger down there then me. He and other men are a bad reminder of much I've gone wrong.

I hate that I'm not normal. Sometimes I wish I was someone else, someone normal, I don't really feel like a human. People say you just have to work on your self esteem, its all about how you look at things, but how can I look at this in other way? No guy wants to be like me. And now woman would want me. I'm pathetic.

I've taken steps to improve my life - I went form 16 pills a day to 2. I forced myself out of psychosis. Getting my GED was hard, but I did it. I try to help people, the homeless, my family etc. However the nights are the hardest, I realize I'm all alone, I think about what if puberty went the way it was supposed too, what if I never had depression, what if I could just end it.

 

[LoneKiller]

"..I've taken steps to improve my life - I went form 16 pills a day to 2. I forced myself out of psychosis. Getting my GED was hard, but I did it. I try to help people, the homeless, my family etc.


The above accomplishments and qualities are NOT from the heart and mind of a pathetic person that you accuse yourself of being. They require brains, guts, and compassion. These are rare qualities these days. Rare and commendable.

With respect to the size of your penis, try not to dwell on it. I know it's an embarrassing thing, but keep in mind, that there are other ways to please a woman. A guy could have a 9 inch penis, but if he ejaculates after like 4 minutes of penetration, his penis size don't mean ****. (Sorry. I couldn't resist the play on words there.)

Start respecting yourself and take pride in the fact that you have the maturity and guts to seek help. Not many people can open up like you have here. Try and focus on the things about yourself that are a testament to the courageous person you truly are.


God Bless.
LK

 

[newguy]

@lonekiller, I never thought about that way.