i feel under appreciated

[SlimShady]

This isn't as much a question but rather a bunch of thoughts. Im in highschool age 15. Im part of a nerdy open group of friends. Im a very confident funny person who comes across as someone who doesn't care what people think. However since i got drunk and embarrassed myself on new years, i've had bad social anxiety. I've never had to deal with that before... since then, with my mental health deteriating i've completly stopped hanging out with anyone. I act normal (funny and confident) but don't go out of my way to be with anyone. My friend group keeps asling if im ok and i just say im fine. I eat lunch by myself.Now its just making me feel worse. Is it bad i just wish they would care more? I feel like because they think im confident they assume i have my **** together. Im sorry im not some highschool girl talking about my panic attacks, i keep my feelings inside and mantain a solid front. Anyway is it sad i just want them to make me feel special. I have this fantasy where they all got me gifts and it made me feel alot better. Anyway that's about it comments?

Ps- im also in the proccess of building a house. Along with that me and my mom are facing a lawsuit from someone who wants to take our property. Maybe that's effecting me, it doesn't feel like it though...

 

[Abstamyous]

If you aren't willing to talk about how you feel, you can't expect people to know what you want. And even if they did shower you with attention, it's not going to take away what you are feeling inside.

*big hugs* I am sorry that you are feeling the way that you do. You have people around you who love you. You don't have to be tough all of the time, it is okay to lean on your friends.

 

[TheRealCallie]

If they keep asking if you are okay, why do you think they don't care? They can obviously see there's something wrong, but if you aren't willing to open up to them or give them something, they will likely take the hint you are giving them. You might think you are acting normal, but it's likely at least noticeable by your friends.

Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of. Seriously, everyone gets it at some point. I don't know what you did when you got drunk (maybe don't drink anymore?) but is it really something so horrible that you have to throw away your life and friends? Is it really so horrible that you have to shy away from everyone? We all do stupid stuff. Own up to it, apologize if needed and move on. It's done and over, don't dwell on it, because that will just make it worse.

 

[HypnoGhost]

It is good to open up, bottling up generally does more harm than good.
Alcohol will create depression and is not a good substance.
Your friends are asking if you are ok, there must be some level of care there.
The fact that someone is trying to take your home away from you will have a negative effect on you, even if you dont directly feel it.
Stay strong, there are many ears here who will listen.

 

[Janey]

I think everyone has said what I was thinking too. So I wish you the best of luck with this. I know it's hard to show true feelings--it is for me now, too. Sometimes just showing a little bit of your true self at a time to one person and then seeing how that goes can help if they have a positive effect on you. If they don't you will learn more about them then, too.

 

[Beth1025]

Social Anxiety is a real mental illness. Have you thought about seeking out counseling or talking to your doctor? You mention losing your house. That tells me that maybe money problems? If so, there are a lot of free services in many area. You'll need to look around though. Talk to your doctor about your social anxiety, there are medications for it. Please don't isolate yourself and live in your head. Please, don't do that. You will NOT get better, the anxiety will only get worse and worse. PUSH yourself to eat with your friends. If they ask why you're joining them, just say something like, I was going through some things and needed time to myself. But the more you isolate, the more you'll want to isolate and it can and does get to the point where you don't even want to leave your house. It's not a joke, it's something you need to make a conscience effort about. Call up a friend and make a point at least once a week to get together socially and every day to eat with your friends. You're going down a dangerous, "I won't want to leave my house, I'll do everything on the screen and phone" path.

 

[Nicolelt]

This isn't as much a question but rather a bunch of thoughts. Im in highschool age 15. Im part of a nerdy open group of friends. Im a very confident funny person who comes across as someone who doesn't care what people think. However since i got drunk and embarrassed myself on new years, i've had bad social anxiety. I've never had to deal with that before... since then, with my mental health deteriating i've completly stopped hanging out with anyone. I act normal (funny and confident) but don't go out of my way to be with anyone. My friend group keeps asling if im ok and i just say im fine. I eat lunch by myself.Now its just making me feel worse. Is it bad i just wish they would care more? I feel like because they think im confident they assume i have my **** together. Im sorry im not some highschool girl talking about my panic attacks, i keep my feelings inside and mantain a solid front. Anyway is it sad i just want them to make me feel special. I have this fantasy where they all got me gifts and it made me feel alot better. Anyway that's about it comments?

Ps- im also in the proccess of building a house. Along with that me and my mom are facing a lawsuit from someone who wants to take our property. Maybe that's effecting me, it doesn't feel like it though...

I can relate to so much of this from my past. You have every right to feel the way you do, but you need to start looking past your feelings and see some truth. You embarrassed yourself drunk at a party, pm me and I will tell you about a similar experience I had, yet you still have friends that want to talk to you. Your friends are asking if you are okay, they are 15, they probably don't know how else to reach out to you. 

And from someone who just built a house, yes it is affecting you. You are dealing with this anxiety, AND having to try to figure out where/what home is, which we all need.

My suggestion is find an adult to talk to. It can be in person, or online, but find someone that you respect and look up to for advice. As a teenager, my teachers were my saving grace with some of this stuff I had to deal with.

 

[Sir Joseph]

Slimshady, the others have made good observations and points, but allow me to offer two other comments from a Christian perspective.

First, understand that everyone goes through life being let down by others, and most people fall short of acquiring all of the love and relationships they need.  We seek these out from family and friends, but too often get misjudged, rejected, hurt, or disappointed some how.  It's just a sad result of our broken world and culture.  I'd encourage you to do the best you can with others of course to build good relationships, but don't expect complete satisfaction, fairness, or success from flawed human beings.  Only God can provide that, and you'll do well to make him your first and foremost relationship.

Second, consider that you were created for a reason and purpose in life - to love God first, and to learn how to love others second.  That second part is a lot harder than the first, but the key is learning to focus on others rather than ourselves.  In other words, we should be looking for opportunities each day to give time, attention, or help to others without regard to what we get back.  That's what unconditional love is. 

When you walk into a room, party, or environment of others where social interaction is possible, it's natural to gravitate initially to your known friends.  But after awhile, you should seek out others around that may be alone, looking uncomfortable, in need of a friend. Think of yourself as the assigned giver rather than a taker.  Is there someone around you that might be uplifted with just your presence?  Could a smile, greeting, and simple inquiry make them go home feeling better because somebody showed interest in them?  The more you do this, focusing on helping others rather than seeking your own needs, the better person you'll become and less you'll notice your own life's deficiencies.  In the end, you may not see a fair reciprocation of others' acts of kindness towards you, but you'll probably earn some genuine friendships along the way. And more importantly, your Father in heaven will reward you abundantly for your purpose driven life of serving him by loving others.

Now, here's a song appropriate for you that's worth a listen.

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