I HATE my parents... (rant warning)

[askal]

God dammit...

I hate especially my mom. At least dad is reasonable and I can still have a civilized talk with him.

My mom is just a total bitch.

Just awhile ago, I was discussing with her how to implement a program in a school on how to teach young Filipino kids about language and culture.

One of my ideas is to get em to watch Filipino movies movies... just exclude the porn and the action films (these action films show alot of brutality that can be considered as war crimes in the geneva conventions... )

She got pissed and started yelling and talking in an angry tone... as if I'm stupid or something. I wouldnt mind disagreeing with me. But do it in a civilized way.

I made a mistake awhile ago by talking too much. Now I just had to punish myself with 5 punches to the head... for being stupid enough to get too comfortable around her. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL MYSELF DO NOT TRUST MOM!!! DO NOT TRUST MOM!!! DO NOT TRUST MOM!!! DO NOT BE COMFORTABLE AROUND HER!!! JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND NOD YOUR HEAD IN AGREEMENT AS IF YOURE TALKING TO SADDAM HUSSEIN OR SOMETHING!!!


******* bitch. I couldnt stand her that I just make it a point to stay TEN MINUTES at the maximum around her.

And on another instance, when she mentioned a friend's name (lets call her Madeline...) to me and I only said "I just know her face but I dont know her personally", she started throwing a fit again and calling me an idiot for not paying enough attention and mingling with her friends.

**** I dont wanna mingle with her friends. For all I know, she's spread derogatory lies about me among them. I keep getting weird looks around em. I dont ******* know. I dont mingle with her friends because I tell her that I am different... therefore my words and actions might only bring her embarrassment. (familial embarrassment is a taboo in asian culture).

**** this bitch.

She has done other things against me in the past. She has tried to control me. Like the gestapo police, she (and dad as well) has enforced a dictatorship upon me as a little kid and limited my contact with the outside world. She embarrassed me a few times in front of my friends... I dunno if shes doing that on purpose. Everytime I started to make friends, she just steps in and breaks my will to have friends!

Now she is constantly discouraging me from finding a better career. I told her straight in the face... with my pointer between her two eyes... THAT I WILL EVOLVE NO MATTER WHAT WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! I TOLD HER I AM AN EAGLE AND I WILL ONE DAY SOAR THE SKIES AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME AND BREAK MY WILL!

She is evil. I wish she will rot in hell!!! (Dad... maybe purgatory... I can still somehow understand my dad and forgive him)






Too ****** bad we live under the same roof.

I swear... Once I get a job that pays me at least $15 per hour, I'd be getting out of this house... (or at least exercising more clout... Money = clout)

I'm only staying here for economic reasons. If 3 people (me, mom, and dad) chip in on the same roof... the standard of living would be better. I'm also hanging around because I have close relations with my granny and my other siblings. If I leave, mom will just brainwash my brothers and tell them all sorts of lies about me in such a way that I will be vilified. My brothers are young... therefore they are easily brainwashed.

I still kinda feel attatchment and "love" for my brothers and grandmother. (That is why I figured somehow to ELIMINATE "love" from my system... and its a painful process... I have done it 90% though. But I'm trying hard to eliminate it 100%) I figured if I didnt love granny or my brothers, I'd be more willing to get out of here.

So all I can do is cowtow.


God... my patience is running low already. If you see me typing this, please grant me more patience (or give me a quick death so everything will be over). Thank you.

I cannot trust my parents.

Why the **** did I have parents in the first place who I couldnt get along with anyway. That doesnt make a difference.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hi Askal,

I'm really sorry. What is wrong with your mother? Why does she hate her son? Are you an only child?

Is this just a personality conflict between you guys, or does your mom have some sort of mental illness? Does she blame you for all her unhappiness?

What about your parent's marriage---are they unhappy together? Angry and fighting? Perhaps she is very angry at your father and takes out the rage on you?

Sorry to hear about this. Once you don't have to live with her and see her every day, a lot of the anger towards her will alleviate and you will probably get a long much better.

 

[askal]

What is wrong with your mother? Why does she hate her son? Are you an only child?

I'm not her only child. I have 2 other brothers

The 18 year old doesnt like mom. He loves his girlfriend more than mom. We actually talked of a plan to get out once and for all (and live in an apartment with me, him, and his girlfriend). He is for my plan but hes an impulsive thinker. He is the type who would one day **** himself over in credit card debt. So I dunno about living with this brother of mine. I get along with him though.

If its gonna be me, him, and his girlfriend... it could place me in a difficult position because I do not trust that girl. What if she makes up a story that I'm in love with her and trying to steal her from my brother... just to get us to fight each other. I never know if I can trust her. She's "nice" per se... but her sister is at least 3x a worse bitch than my mom. I dont wanna see that human trash hanging around my life.


The 14 year old... is a hardcore loyalist to my mom. He would often berate me whenever I say bad things about mom. We'd get into shouting matches whenever I talk bad about mom. This guy is loyal as a dog.

does your mom have some sort of mental illness?

I think she has a hyperactivity disorder or something... She just easily gets hysterical and makes a fit over the smallest things. She is a "clean freak" who is obsessed with organizing things. Maybe she has OCD as well.

I also think she has a narcissistic disorder. People like Saddam, Stalin, and Kim Jong Il have this defect... due to their obsession with trying to make their countries appear "stable".

She likes to showcase the family's stability around other people... and is obsessed with photographing the family as such a "happy and stable" family. Most of the time I put up a normal face or look away from the camera... and it pisses her off. Since she cannot show that to her friends... since they will obviously press her why the hell am I not so happy in the picture? She doesnt want that.

However, since "mental illness" is another social taboo in asian families, she fully believes she is normal... and smarter than everyone.

are they unhappy together? Angry and fighting?

Fights happen every now and then... but Ive seen worse cases in other families.

95% of the fights are started by mom. I swear... there woulda been more quarrels or a possible break up of the family if not for the unusual high level of patience of my dad. There had been many occasions when if I was in my dad's shoes I woulda slapped her HARD or maybe banged her face on the wall.

My dad's religious devotion is what stops him from snapping. He is trying his best to fix the relationship... Though the worst thing I saw him do is punch the wall HARD and scream at the top of his lungs that it terrified my mom into submission. I was 7 years old then or maybe younger.

When I remember it, I actually like to replay this in my head. Because I wanna see mom go on her knees and beg and be humiliated. For the evil woman that she is.

In the event of a divorce hearing, I am willing to testify for my dad's sake.

Though I dont trust my dad too... I still have to give him credit for being a solid man who still refuses to have affairs with other women... though I wont blame him if he does. In fact, I will even COVER UP for him if he has affair with another woman.

As my dad is the "lesser evil"... though just recently he's been unusually kind with me.

a lot of the anger towards her will alleviate and you will probably get a long much better.

Maybe it would.

I noticed that the more I stay away from mom, the more she treats me better.

To be honest to God, I can say that mom's attitude towards me has gotten a bit nicer... ever since I kept hiding from her.

Every time I get too relaxed and comfortable around her, thats when the horns and tail start to come out.

Therefore I wonder... if I was a soldier deployed in Iraq... maybe she would love me alot and treat me the way a mother hen treats its little chick. (lol but the army is out of the question for me... as my legs have an inborn slight defect that makes me unable to run for extended periods while wearing shoes. They start killing me after 5 minutes... when I wear shoes. So whenever I exercise, I do em bare footed. I can skip rope and jumping jacks all day... )

To deal with her, you have to keep her on her toes. I figured out that absence gives me respect from her.

Her "love" for me is therefore CONDITIONAL.

Maybe thats why I grew cynical about love and relationships in the first place. I dunno. Maybe thats why I view relationships as just like a machine where you need to push the right buttons to make it work.

 

[Robin]

LoL, well You sure seem to have it all worked out. I was going to tell You about two persons who are in the very same situation as You, with moms so screwed up there's not one person in the world who like them while they think they're the best folks in the world. But then i saw Your second post and i couldn't see any way of helping You with text; this seems to be a rant to get some of this crap out of Your system, like You said. This is a damn good idea so i'll join it! Bad parenting is what created my depression and i think there are alot of people around the world who can blame their parents for their depressions as well.

What i would like to know is what the hell that happened to the people of the previous generation. I don't know a single person in my generation who has a good relationship with his/her mother; they're way too different and can't get along at all, while they are near copies of their fathers (who didn't leave the family or aren't deceased) and looks up to them. I've read somewhere that an unborn baby either get the most from his mothers or fathers side but i haven't actually seen that effect for real. All i know is that it's always the fathers side if You can get along with the person, and the mothers side if You can't; 'cause that's the next generation of idiocracy right there!

Personally, i can't get along with people who can't (or refuse) to simply think logically. My mother(#1) is a real classic; she only know how to take care of a home and how to shop, she don't know anything which she isn't "supposed" to know and the only thing she does for her children is to feed them, tell them what's right and wrong at times so she don't have to get pissed with them doing whatever they want, and then simply let them raise themselves. She never have those "talks" You're supposed to have; about doing what You dream of, staying away from drugs and all that, how sex works, or that she loves them; she just makes sure her kids exist and let the world raise them for her. Every single time in my life where i've had blood pudding and mom has been around she says "You should have juice with that so You get all the iron from it", and she thinks she said it for the first time, every time she says it. And she does this all the time with everything. I remember one day when i got home from school and she said to me, with a happy face: "Did You know that our planet is spinning around in something called a solar-system and that it's inside a galaxy is called The Milky Way?". =|....I have the most stupid mother in the world, plain technically; she read this off a box of milk which i've known since i don't even remember.... Did they learn anything else than how to survive in the schools in the 70's ????? No wonder all three children in my family got depressed so early; we didn't know what love was and were raised to take care of ourselves rather than helping eachother.

My girlfriend's mom(#2) is self-centerednes in the form of a human being. She get jellous on everything good that happens to everyone, including her own children, boyfriend and "friends". At the same time she hate other children (and persons) but "love" her own, and think she's the most misarable person in the world when nobody is around to help her take care of her two 3-year old kids but completely refuses to help any other person with something because her own children are too "important" (double standards of morality). Whenever something good happens to her daughter (my girlfriend), for example, when she got a job well-paying job at Volvo, assembling the vehicles, she got a call from her where she told her how hard it is going to be and that she's gonna wear out her body and blablabla. She didn't say anything positive about it, not ONE thing! This actually made my GF cry because she, once again, was faced with the stalking evil of her mother. Her mother talks crap about everyone who doesn't do something they way she does it but she doesn't call it "talking crap", she thinks that is ok as long as You don't do it behind her back (again, double standards of morality). Selfish, selfish, selfish.

Close friend's mother(#3) - Alcoholic since long ago, nobody knows why. His dad is awsome. That's about it.

Close friend's mother(#4) - The spitting image of one of those REALLY hard-core mothers of Thailand with their many rules and importance of family. She's just as Your mother can be, Askal, a got damn dictator who think children only are supposed to live for their parents and to either be home all the time so she isn't worried about them, or work. Her oldest and youngest son, 16 and 22, have never gone to a party or have any friends, simply because they have to listen to their mother which they actually are afraid of! All they do, and i really mean ALL they do, is play World of Warcraft late, late at night and barely sleep at all. They aren't allowed to leave the home if it isn't for the good of the family. The third son, my friend, is an obvious favourite of the mother; he can do pretty much anything he want as long as he call her mother and tell her exactly what he's going to do, hour by hour, and doesn't waste any money on personal stuff. These guys actually have to pay alot of rent even though they're all in school, so they work AND study. I actually had to help this guy smuggle in a PSP which i helped him get because he just wouldn't be allowed to it thanks to his mom!

Close friend's mother(#5) is a swedish version of a mother from Thailand; a little softer but then, sadly, has a bit of my GF's mom in her so You can't talk to her because she's gonna believe You're saying something mean.

My sister's friend (25) is a mother(#6) who've been in jail twice for possesion of drugs and is trying to raise a 2-year old daughter at the same time by leaving her at a day care as often as possible. That little girl is the most active person You'd ever see; she think violence is a game and can't sit still for hours.

The mother(#7) of the mother above "suffers" (if You know what i mean) from hypochondria and retired before her 40's with two ~10 year olds who had to eat macarony with ketchup some weeks because she didn't think she could have a job.

Mother(#8) of other friend - Do You really care to keep reading? It got 10 more who are as screwed as the one's above (seriously).

I can't imagine how screwed up our grand-parents must have raised our parents. I've heard, from my GF and her freinds, that they mostly quarrel with other women because they have some defense-mechanism in them and especially when they have children. No wonder women have such a bad reputation; not even women like women!

My dad diliberately raised me to take care of myself, he has admitted he is a bad parent because of this "Maybe i and Your mother aren't enough", and i really think his idea of a license to have children would be fit to save this world. The problem with mothers, all ~50 i've ever been around (including my own), just refuses to admit that they do anything wrong with their raising of their children; as long as they do their best they think nothing can go wrong.

My mom was good at feeding us, but that's about it. My dad was good at talking to us about life, but that's about it. My, simple, theory about parents, which i've sure You've thought of Yourself sometimes, has for long been "Mothers want their children to physically feel good. Fathers want their children to mentally feel good." And without any got damn fathers to stick around, thanks to the messed up mothers, no wonder people are so lonely and depressed around the world.

God i hope that our generation will stop this horrible legacy of nature and learn from our parents mistakes! I know i'm gonna be a good dad one day becuase i refuse to bring a child to this world without giving it the best life it possibly could have. All these people who have "love-children", who become parents simply because they love eachother and don't really think of how the kid is gonna end up, it's exactly as horrible as the idiots who get "summer-cats" and just throw them in some damn lake at the end of summer to get rid of them.

The reason why children need two parents is because one of them (or both) is going to lack something in their parenting which the other one hopefully posesses. The kids should decide who they want to stay with when a couple brakes up, rather than living with mom and seeing dad every other week! Mothers aren't good parents just because they can feed them!

-------------


phew... don't anyone take this personally now; i'm just talking out of experience; how the world seems to me, LOGICALLY.

 

[askal]

lol...

putang ina!!! (lit trans: bitch mom)
(sentence trans depending how its used in the sentence: "Mother ******", "******* mom", etc...)

Robin: omg... 22 years old and he lets mom dictate to him?!? Sad.

Anyway... I'm about his age and man... I couldnt wait for the day I'd make at least $15 per hour so I can exercise more clout or get the **** outta my house.

More clout... meaning to threaten not to pay certain bills if she refuses to do what I want. I'm not a spoiled brat but I'm reasonable enough.

The clout I have... and the more money I have will allow me to threaten her. At the same time I will use guilt to achieve my end. I'd be like... Mention an occasion or 5 different occasions when I had to cowtow to her and give her her way... then guilt trip her into submission.

If all else fails, I'm getting out!!! And I'd have the money to support a decent enough lifestyle. $15 per hour. Is good enough.

However as of this point all I can do is hide the real amount of money I make. I used to have a joint account with my dad but he keeps taking all my hard earned $$$. Then if I talk to him about it, he guilt trips me into "what are you doing for this family?" or somethin like that. lol after taking $1500 just like that. haha! lol... no wonder communism is such an attractive idea for asians. Communism everything is for the "state" or the "fatherland"... while the government dictates an illusion of "family" or "comradeship"... lol!!!

Thats why I made a separate account so that I control the amount of money that goes to him. or the "family". lol

And I can technically afford to buy me a car... and the money I give to my parents at the same time. However, I REFUSE to buy a car because I need to save as much money as I can. God knows when tensions might escalate again and I have to get out of the house as a last resort.



And as of this point, all I can do is bow my head.

Seems logical according to the 48 laws of power...

Law 1

Never Outshine the Master

Always make those above you feel comfortably superior. In your desire to please or impress them, do not go too far in displaying your talents or you might accomplish the opposite – inspire fear and insecurity. Make your masters appear more brilliant than they are and you will attain the heights of power.

(lol... on side note I couldnt find my copy of this book. I believe my parents took it from me... as my dad and mom criticized me constantly when they caught me reading that book... lol... Fine. confiscate that book I dont care. Information is all around me and I can take it again with relative ease. And it kinda makes my life more exciting trying to engage my parents in a battle of intelligence. Both of them were honor students during their younger days. lol so maybe I got good genes afterall... )

 

[lonelygirl]

Whoah. I enjoyed reading both of your stories.

Robin, I'm sorry to hear about all the bad mothers that you know. I thought that Sweden has a good social welfare state? Why should kids have to eat Macaroni and ketchup?

Oh let me guess so many Muslims and foreigners coming in and getting on welfare?

Anyway....

Askal, I'm really sorry about your mom. It sounds, honestly, like she needs to get f.....d.
Seriously, she's so uptight! Maybe if she could have some sexual release she would not be so angry, bitch all the time.

As for your dad, I'm glad he's better than your mom. And I'm glad he doesn't resort to violence to get his way. Smashing the wall in anger is okay if a person is really frustrated.

Robin,

I'm a mother and I'm doing the best I can. I know I'm not a perfect mom.

It's really hard to balance the desire to be a good mom and to make your child happy, at the same time when they are very small if you spoil them they will be horrible. They will demand what they want all the time.

So, discipline is part of loving your child--loving them enough to teach them to compromise.
Sometimes I have to make my child sad today so that he will be happy next year.

KWIM?

Also, mothers have needs, too! We need a break from kids sometimes, attention from our husbands, friendship, and support of family and community to be successful.

 

[Robin]

I thought that Sweden has a good social welfare state?

Well, i don't know at all how the welfare works in other contries (i'm just not that interested ) but i guess being out of work and having a government to pay for everything is quite luxurious compared to some nations. The thing with this family You're talking about is that she officially retired, which was a bad move, because the pension in Sweden has become horribly low the last 20 years; You have to save up or You're gonna be on bread and water until Your death. Our current party seated in the government are the absolute worker party; everyone has to work and the one's who don't must be set to practice somewhere so they don't sit around and cost money.

Oh let me guess so many Muslims and foreigners coming in and getting on welfare?

There are around a million immigrants in this country and most of them are lazy bastards who've had such a bad life before that they turn-around completele when they get here and vandalizes the streets and only wish to suck Sweden dry, which everyone know but are afraid to admit. Not that it has anything to do with this, but the buildings of most cultural differences (where people from different cultures live) is a bit north-east the city of Gothenburg and has people from over 80 different countries in the same small block. The government deliberately want to place as many immigrants as possible in the same place so that they feel more "at home". Guess how different the contrast is between the areas full with immigrants compared to those with less than 1%. I've lived in both these situations and it's like being on a different planet.

Askal, I'm really sorry about your mom. It sounds, honestly, like she needs to get f.....d.

I think You're right. If Askal would care about his mother's sex life i guess he'd know if this is true.

KWIM? What's that?

Also, mothers have needs, too! We need a break from kids sometimes, attention from our husbands, friendship, and support of family and community to be successful.

Well say that to my mom who were out "dancing" three times a week to leave us alone. Damn that women is far out.

 

[askal]

Askal, I'm really sorry about your mom. It sounds, honestly, like she needs to get f.....d.

Sounds like a good idea.

lol... The moment she sees another guy, I will constantly praise her and encourage her.

Dad will get mad... and that will break up the family.

It will benefit me because at least she wont be able to mind poison my brothers and granny into hating me.

She will be so focused on bickering with dad... that she wont have any time to unleash her bitchiness on me.

When the family breaks up, she will be at a weakened state.

I will chose dad over her. And my brothers... maybe only one of them will chose her. That dog-loyal one maybe. But I doubt it if that doglike loyalty will last for long. As my mom is just a total bitch.

In the end, it will get rid of her (I am for getting rid of her without wishing her physical harm or death). Let her go with the other guy. lol

I also hope she will find a job in a different state or in another country. I will constantly praise and encourage her decision. All I have to do is inform her of the benefits she will get by doing such a thing.



(*man... I'm evil thinking about this. I feel kinda guilty... *)

 

[lonelygirl]

HEY! I didn't mean to give you that to break up your family! lol

I meant hey, maybe your mom is such a bitch because your dad isn't giving her any sex! Sorry to tell you this!

Don't you have any sympathy at all for her? Don't you realize that she's such a bitch because there is something wrong with her? Why is she so angry?

Why can't you visit with her alone some day and just ASK Mom why are you so angry all the time? Ask her how she feels! Maybe there is something you don't know, why she's so mad.

Maybe she is dying of cancer--anger tends to rot inside.

Don't encourage her to cheat on your father, but maybe that would be for the best. If your family is so messed up, perhaps they should just divorce.

Does your dad know that you hate your mom so much?

Why can't you live with other relatives such as your dad's family or friends? I thought Filipinos had close familiy ties and relations with uncles, etc.?

Robin,

I'm sorry about your mom. Going dancing 3 times a week, is that really the crime of the century? Also, perhaps your mother just doesn't know what you need. Can you try telling her?

 

[Robin]

Robin,

I'm sorry about your mom. Going dancing 3 times a week, is that really the crime of the century? Also, perhaps your mother just doesn't know what you need. Can you try telling her?

Well, that wasn't really a part of the big point, but i wrote "dancing" with quotes because i know what she really did was dating some new guy which she didn't introduse to the family until she had done so for two years. Changes that thing quite alot i guess.

Tell her? Now? Hehe, i have a great relationship with her, after all, and she would start crying for sure if i told her she didn't do enough all of a sudden. My uprising has passed since long ago anyway; i'll let her live her life as she wants it to be without any complaints; i know she didn't mean to raise me this way, she's just pretty dumb.

Thanks for caring though.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hey Robin,

You're so cute, I hope we are burying the hatchet!

Well of course your mom was probably lonely. I thought you meant went dancing and flirting with men when she was still married to your father. Even in that case, I don't think she's an evil person...marriage is HARD work, trust me on this one.

Robin, did you make up with your mom yet?

 

[Robin]

Sure she was lonely, she barely have any friends at the moment either, the thing was that she were away for many hours every other evening during those two years, like 8 years ago or so, leaving me and my younger sister alone. She didn't really spend any time with us, You see. We didn't have a real bond, but she's certainly not an evil person; she's one of the most jolly folks i know, to be honest.

Hmm, well, i've only told her once, indirectly, that she didn't do enough when i was upset, which made her upset as well, and i don't even think she remember that time anyway, so there's not really anything to "make up", You know. She makes great food (which i'll always love ) and can yap on about stuff more than i do sometimes; i can understand and "handle" her now as an adult since her actual job as a parent has ended.

I won't mention my uprising around her; i don't full-out hate her or anything, i just know that she could have done a much better job keeping her children closer to her and away from depression by showing some damn love. That's why i hope i'm gonna be a good dad one day, by showing them alot of love and raising them to understand that it's allright to talk about anything with Your parents. Open and loving which pretty much is the opposit of how i had it.

As seen in this very thread, there are alot worse mother's than mine to be around!

 

[lonelygirl]

Hey Robin,

Thank you for sharing this. Yes, I want to be a good mother. It's so hard balancing my own selfishness with the desire to be a good parent. Life is hard work, and it seems like we all struggle so much!

 

[Robin]

I'm sure You're doing a great job already, LG. Great power comes with great responsibility. Being a parent must be the hardest job in the world and i can't think of a single more contribution-deserving action than that! Yeah, we sure do struggle alot these days; and in a much faster phase than what people did only 50 years ago. But the one's who walk in the right direction has a prize waiting for them in the end of the road, and i don't mean heaven or anything; i mean reaching Your dreams and hopes!

 

[askal]

Update:

I couldnt believe I'm learning how to be a politician.

Careful politics is the key to getting along with parents. lol

Its not family. it IS politics. Repeat 1000000x... I sank that into my head.

The idea that FAMILY = POLITICS No fluffy flowery ******** about "love" and all that crap. I repeat... FAMILY = POLITICS FAMILY = POLITICS
FAMILY = POLITICS
FAMILY = POLITICS
FAMILY = POLITICS
FAMILY = POLITICS
FAMILY = POLITICS
FAMILY = POLITICS
FAMILY = POLITICS
FAMILY = POLITICS
FAMILY = POLITICS



lol The moment I started seeing this as politics, I've been treated better.

lol I have a political life! I'm a politician now!!! lol! And the most effective method of politics is the carrot and the stick.


man... feels so good to crack jokes about something that would normally piss me off... lol

 

[lonelygirl]

Askal,

I'm glad that you are able to crack a joke, too. But I really feel for you. It seems you are in an unbearable living situation.

I've forgotten how old you are. But, can you possibly move out and live with other relatives or friends of the family? Or pay for your own room to rent?

Your mental health and happiness should be your number one priority. Take care of yourself,

LG.

 

[AaronAgassi]

Have you considered covertly videotaping your mother's adverse behavior?

 

[Achpoques]

I agree with Aaron. Can get her in trouble when you got the proof to back a case up