A
askal
Guest
God dammit...
I hate especially my mom. At least dad is reasonable and I can still have a civilized talk with him.
My mom is just a total bitch.
Just awhile ago, I was discussing with her how to implement a program in a school on how to teach young Filipino kids about language and culture.
One of my ideas is to get em to watch Filipino movies movies... just exclude the porn and the action films (these action films show alot of brutality that can be considered as war crimes in the geneva conventions...
)
She got pissed and started yelling and talking in an angry tone... as if I'm stupid or something. I wouldnt mind disagreeing with me. But do it in a civilized way.
I made a mistake awhile ago by talking too much. Now I just had to punish myself with 5 punches to the head... for being stupid enough to get too comfortable around her. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL MYSELF DO NOT TRUST MOM!!! DO NOT TRUST MOM!!! DO NOT TRUST MOM!!! DO NOT BE COMFORTABLE AROUND HER!!! JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND NOD YOUR HEAD IN AGREEMENT AS IF YOURE TALKING TO SADDAM HUSSEIN OR SOMETHING!!!
******* bitch. I couldnt stand her that I just make it a point to stay TEN MINUTES at the maximum around her.
And on another instance, when she mentioned a friend's name (lets call her Madeline...) to me and I only said "I just know her face but I dont know her personally", she started throwing a fit again and calling me an idiot for not paying enough attention and mingling with her friends.
**** I dont wanna mingle with her friends. For all I know, she's spread derogatory lies about me among them. I keep getting weird looks around em. I dont ******* know. I dont mingle with her friends because I tell her that I am different... therefore my words and actions might only bring her embarrassment. (familial embarrassment is a taboo in asian culture).
**** this bitch.
She has done other things against me in the past. She has tried to control me. Like the gestapo police, she (and dad as well) has enforced a dictatorship upon me as a little kid and limited my contact with the outside world. She embarrassed me a few times in front of my friends... I dunno if shes doing that on purpose. Everytime I started to make friends, she just steps in and breaks my will to have friends!
Now she is constantly discouraging me from finding a better career. I told her straight in the face... with my pointer between her two eyes... THAT I WILL EVOLVE NO MATTER WHAT WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! I TOLD HER I AM AN EAGLE AND I WILL ONE DAY SOAR THE SKIES AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME AND BREAK MY WILL!
She is evil. I wish she will rot in hell!!! (Dad... maybe purgatory... I can still somehow understand my dad and forgive him)
Too ****** bad we live under the same roof.
I swear... Once I get a job that pays me at least $15 per hour, I'd be getting out of this house... (or at least exercising more clout... Money = clout)
I'm only staying here for economic reasons. If 3 people (me, mom, and dad) chip in on the same roof... the standard of living would be better. I'm also hanging around because I have close relations with my granny and my other siblings. If I leave, mom will just brainwash my brothers and tell them all sorts of lies about me in such a way that I will be vilified. My brothers are young... therefore they are easily brainwashed.
I still kinda feel attatchment and "love" for my brothers and grandmother. (That is why I figured somehow to ELIMINATE "love" from my system... and its a painful process... I have done it 90% though. But I'm trying hard to eliminate it 100%) I figured if I didnt love granny or my brothers, I'd be more willing to get out of here.
So all I can do is cowtow.
God... my patience is running low already. If you see me typing this, please grant me more patience (or give me a quick death so everything will be over). Thank you.
I cannot trust my parents.
Why the **** did I have parents in the first place who I couldnt get along with anyway. That doesnt make a difference.
I hate especially my mom. At least dad is reasonable and I can still have a civilized talk with him.
My mom is just a total bitch.
Just awhile ago, I was discussing with her how to implement a program in a school on how to teach young Filipino kids about language and culture.
One of my ideas is to get em to watch Filipino movies movies... just exclude the porn and the action films (these action films show alot of brutality that can be considered as war crimes in the geneva conventions...
She got pissed and started yelling and talking in an angry tone... as if I'm stupid or something. I wouldnt mind disagreeing with me. But do it in a civilized way.
I made a mistake awhile ago by talking too much. Now I just had to punish myself with 5 punches to the head... for being stupid enough to get too comfortable around her. HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL MYSELF DO NOT TRUST MOM!!! DO NOT TRUST MOM!!! DO NOT TRUST MOM!!! DO NOT BE COMFORTABLE AROUND HER!!! JUST SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND NOD YOUR HEAD IN AGREEMENT AS IF YOURE TALKING TO SADDAM HUSSEIN OR SOMETHING!!!
******* bitch. I couldnt stand her that I just make it a point to stay TEN MINUTES at the maximum around her.
And on another instance, when she mentioned a friend's name (lets call her Madeline...) to me and I only said "I just know her face but I dont know her personally", she started throwing a fit again and calling me an idiot for not paying enough attention and mingling with her friends.
**** I dont wanna mingle with her friends. For all I know, she's spread derogatory lies about me among them. I keep getting weird looks around em. I dont ******* know. I dont mingle with her friends because I tell her that I am different... therefore my words and actions might only bring her embarrassment. (familial embarrassment is a taboo in asian culture).
**** this bitch.
She has done other things against me in the past. She has tried to control me. Like the gestapo police, she (and dad as well) has enforced a dictatorship upon me as a little kid and limited my contact with the outside world. She embarrassed me a few times in front of my friends... I dunno if shes doing that on purpose. Everytime I started to make friends, she just steps in and breaks my will to have friends!
Now she is constantly discouraging me from finding a better career. I told her straight in the face... with my pointer between her two eyes... THAT I WILL EVOLVE NO MATTER WHAT WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! I TOLD HER I AM AN EAGLE AND I WILL ONE DAY SOAR THE SKIES AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME AND BREAK MY WILL!
She is evil. I wish she will rot in hell!!! (Dad... maybe purgatory... I can still somehow understand my dad and forgive him)
Too ****** bad we live under the same roof.
I swear... Once I get a job that pays me at least $15 per hour, I'd be getting out of this house... (or at least exercising more clout... Money = clout)
I'm only staying here for economic reasons. If 3 people (me, mom, and dad) chip in on the same roof... the standard of living would be better. I'm also hanging around because I have close relations with my granny and my other siblings. If I leave, mom will just brainwash my brothers and tell them all sorts of lies about me in such a way that I will be vilified. My brothers are young... therefore they are easily brainwashed.
I still kinda feel attatchment and "love" for my brothers and grandmother. (That is why I figured somehow to ELIMINATE "love" from my system... and its a painful process... I have done it 90% though. But I'm trying hard to eliminate it 100%) I figured if I didnt love granny or my brothers, I'd be more willing to get out of here.
So all I can do is cowtow.
God... my patience is running low already. If you see me typing this, please grant me more patience (or give me a quick death so everything will be over). Thank you.
I cannot trust my parents.
Why the **** did I have parents in the first place who I couldnt get along with anyway. That doesnt make a difference.