I have no friends or family

[Bubblebeam]

Loneliness isn't nearly as rare as many of us think. Even among people who seemingly have "tonnes of friends" very few, if any of those friends will be there until the end, so to speak. I find most people's definition of a friend is just someone to get drunk with and not much more, or, to put it another way, if there's not something in it for them, they don't want to know you. It's a realisation that's helped me plod on in life with fewer suicidal spells. We all tend to look at other people and their situations through rose coloured glasses, but it's just not like that.

I remember hearing once about a statistic in Japan, where a huge number of people die each year and their deaths go unnoticed basically until nature makes it known i.e. the odour. It's very sad, but again makes you realise you're far from alone.

 

[Nice But Dim Jim]

I haven't spoken to anyone since Tuesday, if I croked I doubt anyone would notice for a good couple of weeks as anyone who knows me expects me not to answer the phone or texts and not to even bother knocking my door if I haven't invited them over lol.

On the subject of no friends and family. I had friends, I disgarded them. I have family, I ignore them. I had a partner, I pushed her away. I'm lonely but can't deal with the whatever the opposite of lonely is. Being around people actually eats at me, like I'm being drained of my existence.

 

[BayouWoman]

Hi Bubblebeam,

Your words are very true and wise. And it is very sad. How can we change this?

I use to be really bad about the rose coloured glasses bit. But you are correct in that usually it is not as rosey as first glance may seem. My life became far better once I realized that.

I am sorry that you have suicidal spells. I hate to think of anyone hurting that much.

 

[BayouWoman]

NiceButDimJim,

Hi , don't think I have met you yet either!

I call the people who eat at me "emotional vampires" it took me awhile, but I am learning to avoid them.

 

[Nice But Dim Jim]

NiceButDimJim,

Hi , don't think I have met you yet either!

I call the people who eat at me "emotional vampires" it took me awhile, but I am learning to avoid them.

Hi BayouWoman,

Ha, I know exactly what you mean! I am very badly affected by my surroundings which is why I've slipped back into depression as the people I work with are very negative.

Unfortunately everyone is now an emotional vampire to me, even my ex who's only crime was wanting to spend time with me when all I wanted was to be alone.

 

[Bubblebeam]

Hi Bubblebeam,

Your words are very true and wise. And it is very sad. How can we change this?

I use to be really bad about the rose coloured glasses bit. But you are correct in that usually it is not as rosey as first glance may seem. My life became far better once I realized that.

I am sorry that you have suicidal spells. I hate to think of anyone hurting that much.

The only thing I think would be effective is realising we aren't alone and that there are plenty of fellow introverted people to be found and befriended, only they're harder to find because we tend to be withdrawn or hide our true feelings. The internet helps a lot in that regard, and honestly I'd rather one good online friend than 10 fake real ones. That's what good forums are for.

That's just my opinion and what would help me personally.

 

[Terry94]

Same here man! I've gone my whole life without friends. In school the people I hung around with were not friends, they would talk about me behind my back, take the piss out of my autism and always go out and never invite me anywhere. I have no family now either since I moved out and got my own flat. Parents used to tell me to kill myself and play with traffic and my dad used to hit me so now I have absolutely nobody, most of the time it doesn't bother me but would be nice to have someone to talk to but oh well.

 

[EmilyFoxSeaton]

Recently I injured my head and went to the hospital, and the doctor asked me if I could stay at a friend or family member's place just to keep an eye on me. He could not believe that I had no friends and no family. I had to explain several times to convince him. So he sent me for additional tests to make sure I was alright. Even then he was not able to accept I had absolutely no friends.

I think health care is impossibly horrible about these things. It is a basic civil right to be able to live ON YOUR OWN. Without someone else. And I think it is sick how everything has drifted into the co dependency. It was the stone deaf doctor that was wrong... not you. I do think health care has a nerve demanding that a friend or family be put into a free health provider position because they know they can shame you into it. If health care needs someone to watch you... that is their job to provide.

I do have a sister but she flat out will not help me with anything. I know better than to call her if I am stranded as she will say no. After all "she has a family". I don't think I have any friends that I could ask such things of. It does scare me what will happen when I need something like a colonoscopy. But I do think you can hire people. I don't even travel though anymore because there is no one to ask to watch my cat... and I haven't been too excited about paid people. And yes, I asked a neighbor and offered to pay and she said NO. Amazing. It was a 10 minute commitment.

I actually wanted to start a website for people who are alone and want to be. Giving advice and support on these issues. Alas, I am just too busy. I truely think that it is impossible for people to ever truely gain freedom from bad people if society continues to structure their world making you dependent on others.

 

[BayouWoman]

I am outgoing, not introverted at all and I have a daughter who is very introverted. I tell her many times that I wish I could just stop and think before I speak and she says many times she wishes she were more like me. Perhaps extroverts, like me, need to take more time with introverts like a lot of you, I have friends of all types, people who are different from me help round me out.

I do however, love my quiet and alone time, sometimes we just need to "refill" and people should respect that.

I think that if there are not any supportive people around and there is a medical proceedure needed, you are much better off just calling a cab. I don't like doctors and such and someone who was false would only add to the stress for me.

I am alone and I want to be. I was looking for a website like that for sometimes it seems like the world is so couples oriented.

And Terry 94, I don't know your religious beliefs but I do know mine and I mean no offense, but your parents should burn in hell for treating you like that.