i have this thing

[LionHeart]

i have this thing where when i'm alone, i hate it and i want to be around other people. but then when i'm around people, i want to be alone. it's really depressing.

my whole life i would have a friend or some friends and eventually do something to push them out of my life. i have a few friends now but i don't want to get too close to them. sometimes i enjoy doing stuff with them but other times i prefer being alone when i'm with them.

i'm 21 and i've never had a girlfriend. the most i've done with a girl is makeout for a half hour at a party. no one's ever told me they loved me, except for my parents, but they don't know who i really am and it's natural for a parent to love their kid.

i guess when it comes to meeting new people, making new friends, talking to women, i really don't know what to say. i can't just "go out and talk to people".

what do i do?

 

[lingo]

Hmm I guess you are probably not the only one feeling this way. Sometimes, I feel like that, too.
People have different personality and probably, some people prefer to be alone.
Are you happier when you are with people or you are alone?

 

[SophiaGrace]

does this sound like you?

Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection

Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked

Shows restraint initiating intimate relationships because of the fear of being ashamed, ridiculed, or rejected due to severe low self-worth.

Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations

Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy

Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others

Is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I went through a similar phased recently.
It's call Isolation.

I actaully felt okay for a little while being alone.
No chaos, no dramma, and salitude.
I needed time to heal or to sort a lot of issues.
Being around people gave me the creeps.

However...i kind da turned into batman.
I became comfortiable in it...but it wasn't too healthy.
I was running away from life and humanity in general.

Anyway...there wasn't balance in my life.

I started haning out in the chat room.
It was the beginning of interacting with other humans again.
Gradaully I heal enough ...I forced myself to returned back
to work and my meetings or support group...people face to face...really, really close.

For the first couple of weeks, it was touch and go.
My skin cralwed...just to be physically around people.
You know how it is...do this, do that.....think like this
belive in that. You're too stupid, you're too smart.
This way is better,,,no the other way is better.
Too much sex...not enough sex....wtf ???
People drives me freaken nutz.

Kind of like what gose on in the chat room...lmao, But it's okay
The chat room exposed me to people, again. It was a bridge I needed.
I also met a lot of freinds that I can communicate with one on one or closer.
In other words..i was practicing to be a part of a community of people on line then
transfer that experience In Real Life.
I met a lot of people here that cares about me...then I met alot people IRL that cares about me.

Sometimes there's conflicts in the chat room...I have a chioce to log off or not get involved.
Sometimes there's conflicts IRL...I have a chioce to walk away and not get involved.

As my life changed a little bit...I still need alone time.
I try to have an hour in the morning and an hour before
bed time by myself....I need the peace from the rat race.

Anyway...I'm trying to be a part of humanity without losing
myself. Or have balance in myself.

 

[Chris 2]

I feel the same way too, not many people is like me. It really hard I know, and I haven't accomplish anything as of yet either. The only time I can be my real self is in the chat room, and even then I could never be 100% my real self. In life I'm like 5% myself when I'm around people, and 95% myself when I'm alone. Like yourself I lost many friends too, and then for a month or so I became contend with being alone but after a while it become too much, and I'm back to taking depressing drugs to counter the pain.

 

[SilentThinker]

i have this thing where when i'm alone, i hate it and i want to be around other people. but then when i'm around people, i want to be alone. it's really depressing.

Do you mean this people also includes close friends?

Fear and doubt arises when we tried to talk to new people.So no doubts or fear,just talk.

 

[SubjugatingH2O]

Don't place so much importance on socializing, it can make you socially awkward. I would say, my best guess, that you are either socially awkward, so it makes being around other people uncomfortable, even though you want it, or or the exact opposite: you need alone time, but you place an importance on socializing, so you are never happy alone and you force yourself to go out and socialize, which obviously doesn't work because that's not what you want.

Any of that sound familiar?

 

[heretostay]

i have this thing where when i'm alone, i hate it and i want to be around other people. but then when i'm around people, i want to be alone. it's really depressing.

Totally know what you mean. I usually think of socializing as my mental health vitamin. If i dont get a dose of it every so often, things can get pretty ugly. and i do not like it when things get that ugly. so although i am uncomfortable socializing, i hate what happens when i start to isolate myself. for me it was really a matter of deciding which was worse.

 

[LionHeart]

does this sound like you?

Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection

Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked

Shows restraint initiating intimate relationships because of the fear of being ashamed, ridiculed, or rejected due to severe low self-worth.

Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations

Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy

Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others

Is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing

actually yes.

 

[Ithought]

You want to be with them when you are alone but you don’t want to be with them when they were around you.
You want to with someone but who understands you and cares about you.
You were with wrong ppl.
You know sometimes you can meet right ppl also any second they could change to close friend. You never know.
Don’t wait until they talk to you at the party.
You take the first step first.
To do that I repeat many times in my mind ‘should I talk first? Should I talk first?’
It is not work all the time and I prefer talk to the same gender, even that is makes me nervures. Isn’t it life is worthy react follows others act?

P.S: There are many friends who didn't hear "I love you" from their parents.

Hugs

 

[lostnalone]

i have this thing where when i'm alone, i hate it and i want to be around other people. but then when i'm around people, i want to be alone. it's really depressing.

my whole life i would have a friend or some friends and eventually do something to push them out of my life. i have a few friends now but i don't want to get too close to them. sometimes i enjoy doing stuff with them but other times i prefer being alone when i'm with them.

i'm 21 and i've never had a girlfriend. the most i've done with a girl is makeout for a half hour at a party. no one's ever told me they loved me, except for my parents, but they don't know who i really am and it's natural for a parent to love their kid.

i guess when it comes to meeting new people, making new friends, talking to women, i really don't know what to say. i can't just "go out and talk to people".

what do i do?

I know how you feel, at home I sit in my room alone wishing there was someone with me, or that I was at a party or doing anything social. Yet if I am at a party or social event (which is rare) I am always by myself, standing in the corner and when I try to start a conversation with anyone they find something else to do or someone else to talk to, which leaves me wishing I were back at home. Like yourself I only really made out with one girl and that was years ago. It gets to the point where you kind of prefer the solitude over the disappointment of trying. As for what to do, I'm not sure, still trying to figure that out myself :club: