I look like a man

[Hopefuldreamer]

Thanks. That's all I want. I'd like to use my blog as an example. I've been writing in it for over a year and a half and only recently people started commenting on it. A good amount of the comments I got were: "Sorry, but people don't get called ugly." and other things like that. So automatically when it seems like people are doubting me, I get defensive so I apologize if I came off like that. I don't get why I would pour my heart out in a blog like that. I ended up disabling comments because I was tired of it. I even had it private for a while, but I have two people who like reading it and they were upset when I made it private. So I guess ever since my experience with people trolling my blog, I've been kind of defensive.

But I posted a webcam photo in the faces thread. It looks unhappy, but I purposely did that. I was trying to make a neutral face, but it came off as kind of looking sad. I don't know how I look neutral. I was just trying to capture how I might look when I'm lost in thought or something.

 

[GearsOfWar93]

Thanks. That's all I want. I'd like to use my blog as an example. I've been writing in it for over a year and a half and only recently people started commenting on it. A good amount of the comments I got were: "Sorry, but people don't get called ugly." and other things like that. So automatically when it seems like people are doubting me, I get defensive so I apologize if I came off like that. I don't get why I would pour my heart out in a blog like that. I ended up disabling comments because I was tired of it. I even had it private for a while, but I have two people who like reading it and they were upset when I made it private. So I guess ever since my experience with people trolling my blog, I've been kind of defensive.

But I posted a webcam photo in the faces thread. It looks unhappy, but I purposely did that. I was trying to make a neutral face, but it came off as kind of looking sad. I don't know how I look neutral. I was just trying to capture how I might look when I'm lost in thought or something.

People did that because they seen it got to you. You made for an easy target because of your blog they probably knew were and how to push your buttons. Trolls just a bunch of fools trying to play with your emotions as you already know. Please dont take this the wrong way but you look like you maybe a little over weight do you know that being over weight hides your true facial features. You could be just 5 or 10 pounds over weight or just have a round face. You are not a lost cause from what I could see if you wanted to change things you could its not as dramatic as plastic surgery. DO NOT THINK IM CALLING YOU FAT I AM NOT CALLING YOU FAT im just trying to tell you what I seen. Have you ever looked up something called Polycystic ovary syndrome it causes some people to gain weight also cause women to have extra testosterone this could be why you feel like you do. Just a theory plus your using a web cam not the best quality. If your not looking for this kind of advise im sorry and ignore me.

 

[Hopefuldreamer]

Thanks. That's all I want. I'd like to use my blog as an example. I've been writing in it for over a year and a half and only recently people started commenting on it. A good amount of the comments I got were: "Sorry, but people don't get called ugly." and other things like that. So automatically when it seems like people are doubting me, I get defensive so I apologize if I came off like that. I don't get why I would pour my heart out in a blog like that. I ended up disabling comments because I was tired of it. I even had it private for a while, but I have two people who like reading it and they were upset when I made it private. So I guess ever since my experience with people trolling my blog, I've been kind of defensive.

But I posted a webcam photo in the faces thread. It looks unhappy, but I purposely did that. I was trying to make a neutral face, but it came off as kind of looking sad. I don't know how I look neutral. I was just trying to capture how I might look when I'm lost in thought or something.

People did that because they seen it got to you. You made for an easy target because of your blog they probably knew were and how to push your buttons. Trolls just a bunch of fools trying to play with your emotions as you already know. Please dont take this the wrong way but you look like you maybe a little over weight do you know that being over weight hides your true facial features. You could be just 5 or 10 pounds over weight or just have a round face. You are not a lost cause from what I could see if you wanted to change things you could its not as dramatic as plastic surgery. DO NOT THINK IM CALLING YOU FAT I AM NOT CALLING YOU FAT im just trying to tell you what I seen. Have you ever looked up something called Polycystic ovary syndrome it causes some people to gain weight also cause women to have extra testosterone this could be why you feel like you do. Just a theory plus your using a web cam not the best quality. If your not looking for this kind of advise im sorry and ignore me.

I weigh 110 and I am 5'4. My rib bones are starting to show so I don't think I can lose anymore weight. You're not the first to think I have fat on my face. Everyone does, including me. It's one of my pet peeves, I lose weight everywhere except my face. I don't know if I can post a body shot or not, but I can assure you that most people think I am skinny. I've been called a butterface actually. But I actually just had a giant ovarian cyst removed, so you could be on to something.

 

[GearsOfWar93]

Thanks. That's all I want. I'd like to use my blog as an example. I've been writing in it for over a year and a half and only recently people started commenting on it. A good amount of the comments I got were: "Sorry, but people don't get called ugly." and other things like that. So automatically when it seems like people are doubting me, I get defensive so I apologize if I came off like that. I don't get why I would pour my heart out in a blog like that. I ended up disabling comments because I was tired of it. I even had it private for a while, but I have two people who like reading it and they were upset when I made it private. So I guess ever since my experience with people trolling my blog, I've been kind of defensive.

But I posted a webcam photo in the faces thread. It looks unhappy, but I purposely did that. I was trying to make a neutral face, but it came off as kind of looking sad. I don't know how I look neutral. I was just trying to capture how I might look when I'm lost in thought or something.

People did that because they seen it got to you. You made for an easy target because of your blog they probably knew were and how to push your buttons. Trolls just a bunch of fools trying to play with your emotions as you already know. Please dont take this the wrong way but you look like you maybe a little over weight do you know that being over weight hides your true facial features. You could be just 5 or 10 pounds over weight or just have a round face. You are not a lost cause from what I could see if you wanted to change things you could its not as dramatic as plastic surgery. DO NOT THINK IM CALLING YOU FAT I AM NOT CALLING YOU FAT im just trying to tell you what I seen. Have you ever looked up something called Polycystic ovary syndrome it causes some people to gain weight also cause women to have extra testosterone this could be why you feel like you do. Just a theory plus your using a web cam not the best quality. If your not looking for this kind of advise im sorry and ignore me.

I weigh 110 and I am 5'4. My rib bones are starting to show so I don't think I can lose anymore weight. You're not the first to think I have fat on my face. Everyone does, including me. It's one of my pet peeves, I lose weight everywhere except my face. I don't know if I can post a body shot or not, but I can assure you that most people think I am skinny. I've been called a butterface actually. But I actually just had a giant ovarian cyst removed, so you could be on to something.

Thats one of the main things that the disease causes. Please excuse me for over reaching.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Hi Ashley, I just saw your picture on the Faces thread. I know you think you're ugly, but I'm telling you that I don't think you are at all. In fact, I didn't even see this thread before seeing that picture and I said there that it was a pretty picture of you. You have nice facial features, and I thought your eyes really stood out.

And you definitely do not look like a man!

 

[Hopefuldreamer]

Thanks. That's all I want. I'd like to use my blog as an example. I've been writing in it for over a year and a half and only recently people started commenting on it. A good amount of the comments I got were: "Sorry, but people don't get called ugly." and other things like that. So automatically when it seems like people are doubting me, I get defensive so I apologize if I came off like that. I don't get why I would pour my heart out in a blog like that. I ended up disabling comments because I was tired of it. I even had it private for a while, but I have two people who like reading it and they were upset when I made it private. So I guess ever since my experience with people trolling my blog, I've been kind of defensive.

But I posted a webcam photo in the faces thread. It looks unhappy, but I purposely did that. I was trying to make a neutral face, but it came off as kind of looking sad. I don't know how I look neutral. I was just trying to capture how I might look when I'm lost in thought or something.

People did that because they seen it got to you. You made for an easy target because of your blog they probably knew were and how to push your buttons. Trolls just a bunch of fools trying to play with your emotions as you already know. Please dont take this the wrong way but you look like you maybe a little over weight do you know that being over weight hides your true facial features. You could be just 5 or 10 pounds over weight or just have a round face. You are not a lost cause from what I could see if you wanted to change things you could its not as dramatic as plastic surgery. DO NOT THINK IM CALLING YOU FAT I AM NOT CALLING YOU FAT im just trying to tell you what I seen. Have you ever looked up something called Polycystic ovary syndrome it causes some people to gain weight also cause women to have extra testosterone this could be why you feel like you do. Just a theory plus your using a web cam not the best quality. If your not looking for this kind of advise im sorry and ignore me.

I weigh 110 and I am 5'4. My rib bones are starting to show so I don't think I can lose anymore weight. You're not the first to think I have fat on my face. Everyone does, including me. It's one of my pet peeves, I lose weight everywhere except my face. I don't know if I can post a body shot or not, but I can assure you that most people think I am skinny. I've been called a butterface actually. But I actually just had a giant ovarian cyst removed, so you could be on to something.

Thats one of the main things that the disease causes. Please excuse me for over reaching.

No it's fine. You're not the first to think that. I've done just head shots before on other places, and people always suggest maybe I should lose weight, and so I show my whole body. I used to think I was fat, because the cyst got so huge that I looked six months pregnant. It started to really hurt, so i went to the doctor who told me it was a cyst and I had surgery to have it removed back in April. I went back to being thin like I was before the cyst came. I lost 20 pounds from the surgery.

 

[GearsOfWar93]

Thanks. That's all I want. I'd like to use my blog as an example. I've been writing in it for over a year and a half and only recently people started commenting on it. A good amount of the comments I got were: "Sorry, but people don't get called ugly." and other things like that. So automatically when it seems like people are doubting me, I get defensive so I apologize if I came off like that. I don't get why I would pour my heart out in a blog like that. I ended up disabling comments because I was tired of it. I even had it private for a while, but I have two people who like reading it and they were upset when I made it private. So I guess ever since my experience with people trolling my blog, I've been kind of defensive.

But I posted a webcam photo in the faces thread. It looks unhappy, but I purposely did that. I was trying to make a neutral face, but it came off as kind of looking sad. I don't know how I look neutral. I was just trying to capture how I might look when I'm lost in thought or something.

People did that because they seen it got to you. You made for an easy target because of your blog they probably knew were and how to push your buttons. Trolls just a bunch of fools trying to play with your emotions as you already know. Please dont take this the wrong way but you look like you maybe a little over weight do you know that being over weight hides your true facial features. You could be just 5 or 10 pounds over weight or just have a round face. You are not a lost cause from what I could see if you wanted to change things you could its not as dramatic as plastic surgery. DO NOT THINK IM CALLING YOU FAT I AM NOT CALLING YOU FAT im just trying to tell you what I seen. Have you ever looked up something called Polycystic ovary syndrome it causes some people to gain weight also cause women to have extra testosterone this could be why you feel like you do. Just a theory plus your using a web cam not the best quality. If your not looking for this kind of advise im sorry and ignore me.

I weigh 110 and I am 5'4. My rib bones are starting to show so I don't think I can lose anymore weight. You're not the first to think I have fat on my face. Everyone does, including me. It's one of my pet peeves, I lose weight everywhere except my face. I don't know if I can post a body shot or not, but I can assure you that most people think I am skinny. I've been called a butterface actually. But I actually just had a giant ovarian cyst removed, so you could be on to something.

Thats one of the main things that the disease causes. Please excuse me for over reaching.

No it's fine. You're not the first to think that. I've done just head shots before on other places, and people always suggest maybe I should lose weight, and so I show my whole body. I used to think I was fat, because the cyst got so huge that I looked six months pregnant. It started to really hurt, so i went to the doctor who told me it was a cyst and I had surgery to have it removed back in April. I went back to being thin like I was before the cyst came. I lost 20 pounds from the surgery.

A simple blood test would tell you if you have the disease they cause very painful cyst even if you got it removed they can happen again if you have the disease sadly

 

[Ignis]

Hi Ashley, I just saw your picture on the Faces thread. I know you think you're ugly, but I'm telling you that I don't think you are at all. In fact, I didn't even see this thread before seeing that picture and I said there that it was a pretty picture of you. You have nice facial features, and I thought your eyes really stood out.

And you definitely do not look like a man!

Quoting this for truth.
I don't know WHAT the hell you're going on about HopefulyDreamer, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with you.
Honestly, you're actually pretty cute. Yes, this is coming from a guy. No, this isn't me lying to you.

 

[Hopefuldreamer]

Hi Ashley, I just saw your picture on the Faces thread. I know you think you're ugly, but I'm telling you that I don't think you are at all. In fact, I didn't even see this thread before seeing that picture and I said there that it was a pretty picture of you. You have nice facial features, and I thought your eyes really stood out.

And you definitely do not look like a man!

Quoting this for truth.
I don't know WHAT the hell you're going on about HopefulyDreamer, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with you.
Honestly, you're actually pretty cute. Yes, this is coming from a guy. No, this isn't me lying to you.

Like I said in the Faces thread, I wish people offline were the same as the ones online here then. I purposely made my face look unhappy, or neutral. I have a couple smiling pictures. But honestly, it's only online people who tell me this. I wish people offline saw what people online saw. And like I said, I live in a different city than the town I grew up in. They tell me the same thing.

 

[Badjedidude]

You don't look like a man to me.

 

[Ignis]

Hi Ashley, I just saw your picture on the Faces thread. I know you think you're ugly, but I'm telling you that I don't think you are at all. In fact, I didn't even see this thread before seeing that picture and I said there that it was a pretty picture of you. You have nice facial features, and I thought your eyes really stood out.

And you definitely do not look like a man!

Quoting this for truth.
I don't know WHAT the hell you're going on about HopefulyDreamer, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with you.
Honestly, you're actually pretty cute. Yes, this is coming from a guy. No, this isn't me lying to you.

Like I said in the Faces thread, I wish people offline were the same as the ones online here then. I purposely made my face look unhappy, or neutral. I have a couple smiling pictures. But honestly, it's only online people who tell me this. I wish people offline saw what people online saw. And like I said, I live in a different city than the town I grew up in. They tell me the same thing.

I'm certain people offline DO see you the same way people online do.
How can you be so sure that EVERYONE thinks you're ugly? Or that you look like a man? How can you possibly know EVERYONES thoughts? It's simply not possible.
Honestly, when I see a cute girl when I'm working, or out somewhere... I don't just go up to them and be like "OMGYOURSOCUTE"
I tend to admire from a distance.

Chances are, you've been admired for a long time, by a lot of people... You just haven't noticed. You've taken the advice of the few who have sought to hurt you by saying something negative, over noticing the many who may be thinking that you're actually attractive.

 

[nerdygirl]

I just looked at your picture, and... yea... I don't think you're ugly. I don't think you look masculine, but you do have a slightly androgynous face. I don't think the face looks "fat" as much as it looks slightly puffy. If you were local, I'd probably play around with makeup on your face, because you have some good features. And... of course, I bet you look so much nicer when you smile!

By the way, you look sad because your lips turn down at the corners. My daughter does the same thing, so when she's actually making a neutral face, people think she looks intimidating!

 

[EveWasFramed]

I've read the three pages of this thread and I was a bit surprised when I read some of the replies. I think that if a person thinks they aren't attractive, and have been told that repeatedly, simply telling them it's not the case isn't going to change their minds. Also, getting frustrated at them won't help either. We are our own worst critics and we all have a different opinion on what is attractive and what isn't.
Furthermore, to the OP, I saw your picture in the faces thread and in my own opinion, you are not someone that I would look at and automatically say, "Oh - she looks like a man."
It's pretty easy to change ones appearance from male to female and female to male. A few makeup tricks and a change of hairstyle is all it takes to alter someone's face.
If you don't like the way your face looks, it's pretty easy to apply some artful makeup techniques to change that. It's till you under the makeup, but it might be a confidence booster for you. I see nothing wrong with using cosmetics as a tool. Perhaps that might change some of things about your face that you aren't happy with.
Granted, you're only slightly altering what's already there, but a little makeup can make a big difference.
And before anyone starts yelling that we need to "accept who we are" ....no, we don't. If anyone wants to enhance what they were born with, there's nothing wrong with that. I consider myself to be of average looks. I use makeup because I look better with it on.

As for the PCOS, if you think you may have it, I urge you to see your doctor and be referred to an endocrinologist. POCS screws with your hormones, which control pretty much EVERYTHING in your body.
The endocrine system is very complex and the hormone imbalance caused by PCOS wreaks all manner of havoc on a body. Weight gain, infertility and a plethora of other symptoms. There is no cure, only treatment. Doctors generally use either birth control or diabetes medication as treatment.
There is way more information on the condition now than there was just a decade ago. Do a little research on it. The Mayo Clinic's website is a great resource.

 

[Hopefuldreamer]

Hi Ashley, I just saw your picture on the Faces thread. I know you think you're ugly, but I'm telling you that I don't think you are at all. In fact, I didn't even see this thread before seeing that picture and I said there that it was a pretty picture of you. You have nice facial features, and I thought your eyes really stood out.

And you definitely do not look like a man!

Quoting this for truth.
I don't know WHAT the hell you're going on about HopefulyDreamer, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with you.
Honestly, you're actually pretty cute. Yes, this is coming from a guy. No, this isn't me lying to you.

Like I said in the Faces thread, I wish people offline were the same as the ones online here then. I purposely made my face look unhappy, or neutral. I have a couple smiling pictures. But honestly, it's only online people who tell me this. I wish people offline saw what people online saw. And like I said, I live in a different city than the town I grew up in. They tell me the same thing.

I'm certain people offline DO see you the same way people online do.
How can you be so sure that EVERYONE thinks you're ugly? Or that you look like a man? How can you possibly know EVERYONES thoughts? It's simply not possible.
Honestly, when I see a cute girl when I'm working, or out somewhere... I don't just go up to them and be like "OMGYOURSOCUTE"
I tend to admire from a distance.

Chances are, you've been admired for a long time, by a lot of people... You just haven't noticed. You've taken the advice of the few who have sought to hurt you by saying something negative, over noticing the many who may be thinking that you're actually attractive.

I'm going by what I've heard since I was 12 years old. And like I said, I live in a different city than the town I grew up in, and I've heard some people say the same thing. The thought would never have entered my mind if I hadn't heard it say to me. So I don't know what's going on. I've lived in the city I currently live in now for five years. I don't hear the comments as much, but when I was in my early 20s I most certainly heard it. The last time I heard it was over a year ago. Unless you count my sister, then I heard it a few weeks ago.

---

I agree with everything you've said EveWasFramed. Although I am not too sure if I have that because I've done follow ups with the doctor since April, and he says it's not likely that it will happen again. So I think they would have told me if I had it or not. I've had to do check ups up until the end of August just to make sure I had a full recovery. But I am growing my hair out long so I can do some kind of make over with it. I just want it to be a certain length so I can get a new style. I want to grow out my bangs as well.

Also, I had to look up androgynous because I have no idea what it was, and I think that's exactly what it is. Back in the day I used to wear baggy clothes (not anymore) and sometimes cashiers called me sir. However, now I wear form fitting clothes and I haven't been called sir in probably four years. Also I have longer hair than I used to. But yeah, I purposely had my photo look like that. I didn't want any expression in it, but I accidentally made it sad looking. Also, my face is bloated at the moment because I'm retaining water.

Chances are, you've been admired for a long time, by a lot of people... You just haven't noticed. You've taken the advice of the few who have sought to hurt you by saying something negative, over noticing the many who may be thinking that you're actually attractive.

If they admire me, they keep it to themselves. The last compliment I got from someone was that I looked perky from my surgery. Other then that, I get negative comments. I'm being completely serious, I do not remember the last time I've been called pretty. Not counting online. I mean just offline.

 

[Ignis]

If they admire me, they keep it to themselves. The last compliment I got from someone was that I looked perky from my surgery. Other then that, I get negative comments. I'm being completely serious, I do not remember the last time I've been called pretty. Not counting online. I mean just offline.

Yeah, I'll agree with you. They probably do keep it to themselves... As I tend to. Doesn't mean they don't believe it though.
I know it can be hard to believe at times, and it's really easy to listen to people telling you that you don't look good; especially if you have a low opinion of yourself, and you don't have a flow of people telling you that you are pretty.

Honestly, I can't remember the last time someone OUTSIDE of a family member said that I was good looking.
Does that mean that I'm ugly? Nah. It doesn't.
I'm certain there are girls who believe I AM good looking, they've just chosen not to say anything.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I agree with everything you've said EveWasFramed. Although I am not too sure if I have that because I've done follow ups with the doctor since April, and he says it's not likely that it will happen again.

Well...keep in mind that not everyone has all the symptoms of it.
I've had PCOS since I was in my late teens. I've never had cists on my ovaries and I don't have the excess body hair that some women seem to get. Other than the infertility, the screwed up hormones and the difficulty maintaining a healthy weight, I don't have any of the other issues that so many women with it seem to have.
Only an endocrinologist can make that diagnosis - any other doctor would just be guessing.
However, based on what you're said, it doesn't sound like you have it.

 

[zero]

I don`t know how you look like, I haven`t seen your picture, what I see is a beautiful soul and character.
Still, I would ask you: Do you feel beautiful (as a whole, as a human being)? How do you see yourself? Is there a difference beween how you feel and how you/ others see yourself? If you had a clone of yourself in front of you, what would you say to her (yourself), how would you see her and what would you think of her self-perception as exposed on this forum?
Family, especially in childhood, is a major contributor to building one`s self-esteem, both in a positive and a negative way. If friends and social relationships sum up later with the same impact, no wonder the result is what you describe. I believe you in what you`ve written and my guess is you`re trying to find a solution to this problem. Therefore I wonder what the real problem is: your looks, your feelings about it, your lack of friends, the judgement of your family, being rejected by men, your social anxiety, your health? What is your most important wish? What would you like to change? Think about it and perhaps classify the problems and wishes by order of their importance to you.
I`m absolutely positive that every problem has its solution, self-esteem and looks included. And your username hopeful dreamer suggests a positive attitude. (Hug)

 

[Hopefuldreamer]

I don`t know how you look like, I haven`t seen your picture, what I see is a beautiful soul and character.
Still, I would ask you: Do you feel beautiful (as a whole, as a human being)? How do you see yourself? Is there a difference beween how you feel and how you/ others see yourself? If you had a clone of yourself in front of you, what would you say to her (yourself), how would you see her and what would you think of her self-perception as exposed on this forum?
Family, especially in childhood, is a major contributor to building one`s self-esteem, both in a positive and a negative way. If friends and social relationships sum up later with the same impact, no wonder the result is what you describe. I believe you in what you`ve written and my guess is you`re trying to find a solution to this problem. Therefore I wonder what the real problem is: your looks, your feelings about it, your lack of friends, the judgement of your family, being rejected by men, your social anxiety, your health? What is your most important wish? What would you like to change? Think about it and perhaps classify the problems and wishes by order of their importance to you.
I`m absolutely positive that every problem has its solution, self-esteem and looks included. And your username hopeful dreamer suggests a positive attitude. (Hug)

Honestly, my looks wouldn't bother me if it hadn't been pointed out to me so many times. What bothers me the most is the way I am viewed by family and the way certain people view when they first meet me. Not everyone of course, but I've had a few people, especially other females for some reason and the fact that I am 27 and I have never been in a relationship.

Aside from my looks, and the lack of a relationship, I have everything I wanted out of my life. A good job, a nice place to live, a nice car, and I am slowly getting myself financially secure. I've hit all my goals in life so far. And I have two cats that I adore. So I should be happy, but I'm not.

I honestly thought by the time I was in my 20s the ugly jokes would go away. I never believed I would still get those kind of comments after High School, but I've encountered adults who have been more mean than High School kids were. It's not as bad as it was. In fact, I think my early 20s was the worst time of my life for it. Between the ages of 19 to 24 was worse than anything I encountered as a teenager, and that's kind of bad. Adults should know better. I think that is what bugs me the most out of it. It shouldn't still happen.

 

[Bei]

If you were local, I'd probably play around with makeup on your face, because you have some good features. And... of course, I bet you look so much nicer when you smile!

By the way, you look sad because your lips turn down at the corners. My daughter does the same thing, so when she's actually making a neutral face, people think she looks intimidating!

I was thinking the same thing Nerdy! I also come out looking terrible in pictures where I think I'm making a neutral face. My dmv pics are all terrible because I try to make this neutral face where I look angry.

I saw your pic Ashley and I know a lot of people said this to you already but one more can't hurt right? Sorry you had people say such horrible things to you but I really don't think you look like a man at all. You have lovely eyes and lips. So many girls would kill for such full lips.

 

[Sci-Fi]

I saw your picture in the faces thread too and I don't think you look like a dude.