I make everyone feel uncomfortable

[HC22]

Well, today I went and made another person uncomfortable with my awkwardness-- a person of great rank and importance. Afterward, I skittered off to the bathroom so nobody would see how upset I was. :\

I wish more people understood S.A. More importantly, I wish I didn't have to struggle with these things that other people have no problem with every day.

Yeah right ? people don't even know, this is why they somethimes they could seem so indifferent and uncaring ...

 

[Lombax]

I've officially decided to give up on Fletcher. We're working on the same project together now, which previously I would have taken as a good opportunity to talk to him. Now, though, I get the feeling that he was spending time with me/talking to me before just because he felt sorry for me and was trying to be nice. So I am just going to let it go and not worry about it. I don't want to bother him. I'm kind of used to being by myself all the time anyway.

You know, sometimes I am glad that I am a hermit, since I can actually get work done. Not having any social life whatsoever is making me a model employee!

 

[MadMonkè]

Model employees have to get along with everyone...

rarely a hermit model employee... sorry...

unless you are doing piece work... from home...

 

[acedna]

I know how you feel. I think that sometimes people only talk to me or try to be nice because they feel sorry for me. I hope that is not the case here though! I hope you guys can be friends. Try to let him initiate conversations with you. If he does not suffer from anxiety and is able to talk to you, maybe he just not know whether or not you want to be friends.

 

[Lombax]

MadMonkè, that is true! While I always try to be nice and "get along" with everyone, I do need to work on being more accessible. My constant withdrawals from group events and invitations could have a negative effect on my career.

acedna, thanks for the advice! After thinking about it a bit more, I am not sure if Fletcher is just trying to be nice, or if he is really interested in talking to me. He said "hi" to me the other day after not seeing me for a week or so, which was refreshing. He always smiles at me when he sees me...but again, that might just be politeness. Still, I have this gut feeling that I shouldn't give up yet, though. Something tells me he really understands that I just struggle communicating. (Wow, that sounded particularly sappy, didn't it?)

I do wait for him to initiate conversation with me, but he never does. I fear this is due to my awkwardness and the fact that I am seemingly inaccessible for conversation. Since I don't talk to people often, they probably think that I don't want to talk to them. I really wish that there was a way for me to let him know explicitly that I want to be friends with him--without seeming creepy, that is. xD

Oh, I learned recently that he is going to be changing jobs in a few months, so I want to befriend him before he leaves. It's do or die time! *heroic pose*