I'm bored.

[user 115627]

...is it nonsense to call her "Polly" Pocket if she only fits in ONE pocket at a time?

But it's Polly, not Poly...right? Am I too nitpicky? It might be my German genes.

Would having a movie named "Star Wars" be deceitfully non-descriptive if two actual stars are not at war?

Something tells me that two stars engaged in warfare would just engage in a war (singular). Leaving black holes afterwards. Wouldn't even last one trilogy. Sequel uncertain.

When we fart...are we contributing to global warming? If so...should we just keep it in?

Spontaneous combustion is a terrible fate and perhaps worse than the sum of farts we have in a lifetime...educate people on a proper diet. Ban plums and beans. Or maybe shoot them into space if they reached their fart quota.

PS: Sometimes people tell me that I address ridiculous questions too seriously.

 

[user 139760]

Hmmm...
That's interesting, I tend to frame ridiculous question too seriously, or posit ridiculous answers to serious questions.

I'm liking the catapulting in space idea, however. It might be an alternative to jet rocket fuel to travel to Mars if we feed someone enough. Although it would make space stink, but who'd actually be able to smell it?

As for stars...so a more accurate term would be Stars War? One could argue it'd last into infinity actually, considering we don't ACTUALLY know if Black Holes collapse. Though there won't be anyone around the film it, I guess it makes the point moot.

I honestly don't remember. I think it's Polly and not Poly, but I did make the natural "rapprochement".
I also remember the adds that use to run when I was a kid. I imagine we should thank publicist of the time not to have made up a tagline saying "Carry them anywhere! If you've got a hole, you can put them in!"

 

[user 139760]

Now I'm thinking about Star Wars. That whole Star Trek vs Star Wars debate. Of course, considering the technology differences, even Kirk's ship could destroy by itself the entire Imperial Army. HOWEVER, it would only take one Darth Vader to force choke 430 crewmen and the captain at the same time, which gives new reflective meaning to the expression "the ability to destroy a planet is INSIGNIFICANT next to the power of the Force".
Which is ironic when you think about the recent movies where Jedi exhert themselves, keel over and die.

On a more positive note, I broke through Hua Lao Gate yesterday night with my two sworn brothers. "I fight for the people!"
I love that series of videogames. Hopefully I can get to Chi Bi tonight. Still haven't quite grasped Ambition mode in this opus.

Also, I'm also now thinking of buying Luo Guanzhong's novel Romance of the Three Kingdoms, which I've been trying to get for years but always seem to forget. I wonder if they got it at Chapters.

 

[user 139760]

....every morning at 10 I go outside to smoke for my break. As it's on my way to the café we have at work, I offer the ladies (I work almost exclusively with women, the closest guy is about a 4 minute walk from my desk) coffee or some such. New lady in, about 45-ish, sitting right besides me. Since it gets boring to always ask "Do you need something downstairs?" or "Do you want a coffee?", I take turns asking for ridiculous things. "Do you want a cheeseburger?". "Do you want a hippopotamus?" Etc.
Well, this morning was "How about some poptarts?". Only this time, I get treated to a 5 minute speech and dissertation on the dangers of suger and how it's more dangerous than fat, how nutritional information on the side of the box is irrelevant and utter lie and how it's easy to ingest enough sugar to kill you (even though I know from bodybuilding and fitness for almost 10 years that sugar is a lot easier than fat to burn).....what the hell? To which of course, I replied "...okay, I'll take it that means "no"".
So this morning, smoking my smoke outside, I started wondering on what the hell is wrong with people and when did people start going insane lol.

I want to retire. I miss my desert island.

Plus, I didn't get my job. I thought I had it. Now I'm REALLY depressed. And after 3 months of this, the deadline has never seemed closer.

 

[Nicolelt]

Well, this morning was "How about some poptarts?". Only this time, I get treated to a 5 minute speech and dissertation on the dangers of suger and how it's more dangerous than fat, how nutritional information on the side of the box is irrelevant and utter lie and how it's easy to ingest enough sugar to kill you (even though I know from bodybuilding and fitness for almost 10 years that sugar is a lot easier than fat to burn).....what the hell? To which of course, I replied "...okay, I'll take it that means "no"".

Don’t you love it when people feel the need to give you a lecture on crap.

 

[user 139760]

Indeed, especially when you don't ask for it, don't care for it and haven't hard your coffee yet.
I think I'll take my driver's license tests to drive a big rig around. Driving on the roads all day, nationally, I won't have to speak to anyone and hear crap like that every again.

I'm never eating poptarts again, I'll be thinking about her too hard lol.

 

[user 139760]

I choked on going to my men's mental health group meeting yesterday. I mean, I've had some tough situations, but I'm trying to get out of it. However, some of these guys...DAMN, they're happy to wallow in it and find excuses to stay in it. I'm not a particularly negative person I think, but there's nothing to me more frustrating than trying to help someone who's asking for help, yet refusing everything you say. Also, some of those situations are really really harsh, on par with what I've been through. I realize it's supposed to be condusive to sharing and sympathising, but I'm wondering if my father's initial comments on it aren't correct; that a lot of these men try to blame other things than themselves for what's going on in their lives and because of that, aren't really getting anywhere. I don't know.

The one man I truly feel I can become fast friends with is ironically the one I feel has the biggest problems. I won't go into details of it here, but he's rather a hardened ex-criminal. I wonder if that's a reflection on me? Regardless of his past, he seems like a man that's trustworthy. Since being out, he's showed self-sacrifice, honesty and integrity. I'm not a white knight myself, but I didn't think people still remained that even though ended up on the wrong side of the law, had a true sense of justice.

Anyway, all that to say I didn't feel like taking in the negativity. It gets heavy to bear, especially these days. I'm still feeling guilty about it, however. Hopefully it'll be better next week.

 

[user 139760]

Wellno, maybe I have luck finally smiling.

Phone interview tomorrow. Once, almost a decade ago, I used to work for a very big insurance company I always regretted leaving. I hope this works out, because they actually decently treat their EE's. I hope the pay matches what I hope, because I could really do with some stability right about now....

 

[user 139760]

So the phone interview went awesome. Weird a bit, in the sense she actually told me over the phone it went awesome lol. She said she'll give very positive feedback to the manager and hopefully by next week I'll have a live interview. If I can pass my security test over again (such level of insurance requires a check with the Fed governement, which I used to have but expired), I should be in like Flynn!
Same salaries, better benefits, more off days and certainly better working conditions, which take the cake on all else.
For the first time since last year, I FINALLY feel like something's going the right way. Now unto finding an appartment before July.

 

[Seahorse]

So the phone interview went awesome. Weird a bit, in the sense she actually told me over the phone it went awesome lol. She said she'll give very positive feedback to the manager and hopefully by next week I'll have a live interview. If I can pass my security test over again (such level of insurance requires a check with the Fed governement, which I used to have but expired), I should be in like Flynn!
Same salaries, better benefits, more off days and certainly better working conditions, which take the cake on all else.
For the first time since last year, I FINALLY feel like something's going the right way. Now unto finding an appartment before July.

Good luck. Its nice to feel optimistic about things

 

[user 139760]

So the phone interview went awesome. Weird a bit, in the sense she actually told me over the phone it went awesome lol. She said she'll give very positive feedback to the manager and hopefully by next week I'll have a live interview. If I can pass my security test over again (such level of insurance requires a check with the Fed governement, which I used to have but expired), I should be in like Flynn!
Same salaries, better benefits, more off days and certainly better working conditions, which take the cake on all else.
For the first time since last year, I FINALLY feel like something's going the right way. Now unto finding an appartment before July.

Good luck. Its nice to feel optimistic about things

LOL My dear...you don't know me really, so I'll let you in on a little secret that not many know; I'm a lot better at hiding and projecting optimism than I am at feeling it lol. I've been feeling bleak for 15 years now. Bleaker still with what happened last year. This is the first good event that's happened since all this started, so it's a weird feeling I haven't felt in a long while, enough to know that I thought long and hard before writing it, because I believe me saying it might jinx it. It's that bad. I'm sadly not an optimistic person anymore, I'm more like that naked crazy guy on the street corner with a sign on his back that says "THE END IS NIGH!" lol.
I'm hoping, I really am, to be able to change that someday. Feel like an actual person instead of feeling like planet Earth's punching bag.
So thank you and yes, it feels great, but I'm terrified just saying it, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm sure you know the feeling lol.

 

[Seahorse]

I think having things to be optimistic about is a good thing, because even if the thing doesn't work out in your favor, you have that feeling as a reference to look back on when you are feeling down. It can be a roller coaster though looking for a new job

 

[user 139760]

LOL Yeah, tell me about it. When I get the interview this will be my fourth in less than 2 months. I'm the kind of person who's used to having a 5 minute conversation and starting to work the next day. But the world has changed a lot in the last few years. For me, not exactly for the best. So going back home will be a good place, this company I actually worked for for 6 years ;-) I still have some friends there I kept in contact with these last 9 years, it'll be good seeing them again.

 

[user 139760]

So yesterday night, even if I was rather dubious about it, I went to that meeting I only went at once, a men's health supper group where you talk about your life and problems for 2 hours. Like an AA meeting, but for wrecked guys who have trouble dealing with life, kind of like this forum here in the sense that there's a lot of lonely and depressed people.

I say dubious, because like some members here, some of them have REAL problems. Like mental health problems, phobias, incurable diseases and the like...of course, you try to support them, but the powerlessness I feel in front of someone I can't do much to help doesn't necessarily feel better. The first time I came out of that meeting I was feeling rather depressed because of some of it, dubious at the utility of it all.
Yesterday was different. Ambiance was better, even though a fight almost broke out (I guess it's to be expected with people who think about ending their lives ever day). But I felt different this time, better. Because of the things we talked about, reflections of certain members, including one with which I ended up arguing because we CLEARLY had opposite views. He's one of the ones I walked with going back home lol. Specifically because of that and 'lo and behold, he believes in the same processes I do, that is finding not like-minded individuals, but polar opposites so it challenges his way of thinking. In that respect, even though we're entirely different, we reached each other.
We talked a lot about suicide, which admittedly is not really my problem, even though Itd be a lie to say I haven't thought about it almost every day for the last 15 years (Homicide is more my problem), but it felt better. At one point, of the guys who I felt really had a lot on his shoulders, is talking, saying "you know, I considered not coming, because I didn't think anything could help me out. But being here tonight, seeing there are people with a lot bigger problems than I have, it kind of makes me feel better", while nodding at me. That made me realize how right he was, in a sense....

Because see, I'm in it. I push it at the back of my mind, even when I was in a convo with my sister, I was saying "these guys have REAL PROBLEMS!" she looks at me and goes "Um, bro...SO DO YOU". And I'm like ummm...yeah lol. But I don't feel it necessarily that way. Because I'm dealing with it. I don't think I'm always dealing with it correctly, or wisely, but not enough that it submerges me for no reason all the time and prevents me from functioning. So to hear all these other men, all those intense problems that you can't really do anything about...it makes you reflect. It makes you reflect it could have been MUCH, much worse. And even though I'll probably be stuck with this...rage forever, what good would it do me to talk to people about it? The few times I have, it scared the **** out of them when I told them what I wanted to do about it. Because they see it.They see it in my eyes and they know what I'd do....but I'm dealing. Because I have no choice, I have to be around for my daughters in 20 years, not in a jail cell for murder 1.

So yeah, it helped. It does help, I didn't expect it would. I guess just having a little bit of companionship is a boone. Of course, I'd rather have one with blonde hair, blue eyes and a tendency to spontaneously attack me...but I don't have money to buy a chihuahua

 

[Seahorse]

I really hope you get that job Richard. I'm basically projecting my own hopes for my self when i say that I think a healthy dose of the normalcy of a decent job will be a ery good thing in many ways.

 

[user 139760]

I really hope you get that job Richard. I'm basically projecting my own hopes for my self when i say that I think a healthy dose of the normalcy of a decent job will be a ery good thing in many ways.

I agree, I think so too. I don't know either, but that's my hope. At least it'll give me the opportunity for a fresh start, away from the stress and judgment of those who are aware of the situation. Because you do get some of that, even as a victim and that makes me MAD. I don't like being mad, I never get mad, because I become a different person. It's not someting I want to have happen anymore.
So hopefully you're right, I hope it works out for you too ;-)

 

[TheLoadedDog]

Hmm. Ex was a Lifeline counsellor. I assume you ghave something similar in Canada. A crisis line. I called them. I needed it. Turned out to be crap. but OK. They have to follow a script. Not their fault.

She's not only a counsellor but a senior counsellor trainer. All empathetic and everything.

So what did she do when she found out? She chewed me out. "YOU WERE NOT SUICIDAL". "Umm... I told them I wasn't, straight up."

"IT'S ONLY FOR SUICIDAL PEOPLE!!!"

"Erm... why does every newspaper article that even hints at depression end with a link to their number?"

She's starting a private counseling business. I pity her clients.

Anyway, I called Men's Line. Much better. But not perfect. Now, I help myself. And people blame men for not reaching out. Yeah, there's a ******* reqason for that.

---

THen, in the same phone call, she chewed me out again.

She'd told me there was a prowler. She's 50km away, and I can't get there in time. Said I'd call the cops. "YOU ONLY LIKE TO PLAY ON MY FEAR OF THE EMERGENCY SERVICES!!!"

"Well, I admit you did mention that once, but I had forgotten. You also told me one time somebody tried to attack you, the cop wasthe nicest guy in the world. I wqas trying to help somebody I love.

I give the **** up. Really. Will never understand ze wimmins,

 

[user 139760]

Hmm.  Ex was a Lifeline counsellor.  I assume you ghave something similar in Canada.  A crisis line.  I called them.  I needed it.  Turned out to be crap. but OK.  They have to follow a script.  Not their fault.

She's not only a counsellor but a senior counsellor trainer.  All empathetic and everything.

So what did she do when she found out?  She chewed me out.  "YOU WERE NOT SUICIDAL".   "Umm... I told them I wasn't, straight up."

"IT'S ONLY FOR SUICIDAL PEOPLE!!!"

"Erm...  why does every newspaper article that even hints at depression end with a link to their number?"

She's starting a private counseling business.  I pity her clients.

Anyway, I called Men's Line.  Much better.  But not perfect.  Now, I help myself.    And people blame men for not reaching out.  Yeah, there's a ******* reqason for that.

---

THen, in the same phone call, she chewed me out again.

She'd told me there was a prowler.  She's 50km away, and I can't get there in time.  Said I'd call the cops.  "YOU ONLY LIKE TO PLAY ON MY FEAR OF THE EMERGENCY SERVICES!!!"

"Well, I admit you did  mention that once, but I had forgotten.  You also told me one time somebody tried to attack you, the cop wasthe nicest guy in the world.  I wqas trying to help somebody I love.

I give the **** up.  Really.   Will never understand ze wimmins,

---

LOL. Even if it's not funny. Because that story is vaguely familiar. Why do you think I've been single for what will soon be 11 years now? I've honestly never asked for much. But I do believe that what I'm asking is not something that exists. At least not that I will be able to find in time in my short 90 or so years lifespan.
Jury is still out on wether that men's hotline will help or not. I don't know. The more time passes by, the more I talk to people about all this, the more I start thinking that I'm better equipped to help myself than they are. It's a weird situation. It probably ties into somewhat my sense of ego. We could probably have a nice long talk, several brewskies, on how exactly that works...I mean, I know they try, but I feel like I'm more there to help them then help me. Can't help but feel a sense of distress when I walk out of there and it's not about me that I'm thinking...

You know, that reminds me of my ex. She's 3 months pregnant of our first, off of work and basically doing nothing all day (including cleaning, or washing, or anything else besides staring at a tv and whining). She gives me a call at 5 pm or so, because I was closing the store at the time. Starts chewing me out because the Playstation doesn't wokr (it was a recurring problem, bad lens, Sony didn't give a **** even though I'd just bought it and I ended up smashing it with a sledge while doing a black mass to the death of Sony). We got into a huge argument and in the end I yell at her "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?!?". She had nothing. She just called because she was upset. I often think about that event because it sums up a lot of my relationships. Specifically the reason I don't want relationships anymore.

I called a hotline. We have several different actually, it's not just suicide hotlines. Considering all that happen, the girl from the center for criminal victims gave me on specifically for that, so it was different. They don't specifically have a script, they just listen. It helped at a time that I couldnt set one foot in front of the other. They told me how to do that again. They were more concerned, rightfully so, about me wanting to murder than really ME, per say. But they helped. I didn't ask for much anyway. Just some time.
"She's starting a private counseling business.  I pity her clients." That made me chuckle lol. I mean...isn't that the case for a lot of them? I met one who was sympathetic. I went back to see her and thanked her for it. But the rest were rather ********. I figure they're probably more damaged than I was. Or at least didn't keep it together as well. Reminds me of a member we had on here who was the same way before she drama'ed out of here, I'm sure you know whom I mean. I guess it's a part of the victim process, you need to reassert your life, even though that might be by stepping on other's. I personally refuse that path. But it's a hard thing to see that kind of wisdom, after a big enough ordeal.

It's good to see you, Loaded. Good to know you're good. I mean, we don't speak often, but I worry. I'll do something, or be speaking to my daughters and talk about my Australian friend, who's personal life I don't know all that much about lol. And in those moments, I hope he's doinbg good. Because he's a good man and deserves it.

 

[user 139760]

What's the composition of dark matter? It must travel too, because it can't be instantaneous. Light isn't, but before we "see" black, there must be a travel time, no?

 

[TheLoadedDog]

Thanks brother. There are a couple of people on here I care about. Both Canadian. You're one of them. You take care, brother.

And Lifeline has NEVER been billed as a suicide line. It's a general crisis line. It's only a suicide line in the strange workings of my ex's brain (for want of a better term).