I'm not dateable

[Toastedone]

Im 23 and Ive never had a girlfriend. Im not attractive, I dont think I'm interesting , Im socially awkward.
I just for once wish I could find some one who could see Me as someone they'd want to be with. Im sick of being told oh its easy you just ask them out its easy.
Ive realized it doesn't matter what I do no girl will ever want me.
I grew up oldest of three which led me to play parent for two siblings both with disabilities. That made it so I never left the house so im just used to being at home but its not like I still live with my folks I have roomates but I support myself.

When it comes to girls its hard if I try being anything other than a friend im rejected.
I always get "your a nice guy but (insert excuse here.)" I see post about girls not wanting a clingy guy and they have to be selfrelient, but what gets Me is Im self reliant I have to be cause im alone I dont have conference because why should ? So yeah if I found some one I would be clingy I would want to beable to dhare some of the burden because if I did find a girl I for once in my life have what I wanted.
I get it you dont build a life around someone you share life with them but all I feel like is that im not good enough for any one.
Ive had sex with one girl and there was no emotional attatchment it was just meningless sex which ended with her stealing **** from me before leaving the next day.
The closest ive come to some one was a friend whos engaged now married and I dont even know what you would call our relationship. In the end it just me alone not able to forget someone ill never see again because I have no part in her life.
Most days I dont want to get out of bed yet I get up grit my teeth and smile and tell every one how happy I am but honestly I feel dead inside.
Im at the point where I dont ever was to feel the emotion im told is love because I hate it nothing good comes from it.
Im not suicide I just feel like all im doing is waiting to die day by day.
All I want is a companion but I dont deserve one.
Its late I couldn't sleep so I wrote this ill be back tomorrow.

 

[Sigma]

I know those feels bro.
Round the town I'm not even considered dating material because everyone stays away from me, although the feelings are mutual so that doesn't bother me.
In those rare moments that I leave this place I have no idea how to have a decent conversation, let alone court a woman.
But I've pretty much given up on all that for reasons I shall not put on public display here.
All I can say for you is either keep trying, and hope you find someone who can appreciate your efforts and likes you for who you are, or find happiness in other things, some hobby of sorts. Everyone has talents.

 

[Lefty Lonely]

I feel for you too, but maybe this is more bad news: looks, being interesting, and the lack of social awkwardness are not all it takes to be "dateable". You can be terrific in those areas and still have no guarantee you will be successful in dating. What I've found is it takes finding the right person who's going to be naturally attracted to/ like you for who you are, just as Sigma says.

If you have a passion, or two or three in life, you probably will be a bit of a more happy person, but first thing's first, don't dwell on the experiences/people who make you think you're undateable, focus more on what you like, and if you don't have enough things that you like, spend time discovering some. Discovering new activities may also you lead you to meeting someone special who also shares them.

This is something I ought to do more of myself being that my passions are male oriented and more suited for being solo, than with a variety of other people. The nice thing is, one has a whole lifetime to always discover new things.

 

[duff]

Im 23 and Ive never had a girlfriend. Im not attractive, I dont think I'm interesting , Im socially awkward.
I just for once wish I could find some one who could see Me as someone they'd want to be with. Im sick of being told oh its easy you just ask them out its easy.
Ive realized it doesn't matter what I do no girl will ever want me.
I grew up oldest of three which led me to play parent for two siblings both with disabilities. That made it so I never left the house so im just used to being at home but its not like I still live with my folks I have roomates but I support myself.

When it comes to girls its hard if I try being anything other than a friend im rejected.
I always get "your a nice guy but (insert excuse here.)" I see post about girls not wanting a clingy guy and they have to be selfrelient, but what gets Me is Im self reliant I have to be cause im alone I dont have conference because why should ? So yeah if I found some one I would be clingy I would want to beable to dhare some of the burden because if I did find a girl I for once in my life have what I wanted.
I get it you dont build a life around someone you share life with them but all I feel like is that im not good enough for any one.
Ive had sex with one girl and there was no emotional attatchment it was just meningless sex which ended with her stealing **** from me before leaving the next day.
The closest ive come to some one was a friend whos engaged now married and I dont even know what you would call our relationship. In the end it just me alone not able to forget someone ill never see again because I have no part in her life.
Most days I dont want to get out of bed yet I get up grit my teeth and smile and tell every one how happy I am but honestly I feel dead inside.
Im at the point where I dont ever was to feel the emotion im told is love because I hate it nothing good comes from it.
Im not suicide I just feel like all im doing is waiting to die day by day.
All I want is a companion but I dont deserve one.
Its late I couldn't sleep so I wrote this ill be back tomorrow.

c'mon there's more to life than having a girlfriend !
There is so much to do and learn and enjoy. Why be miserable because you havent got a woman ?

---

I know those feels bro.
Round the town I'm not even considered dating material because everyone stays away from me, although the feelings are mutual so that doesn't bother me.
In those rare moments that I leave this place I have no idea how to have a decent conversation, let alone court a woman.
But I've pretty much given up on all that for reasons I shall not put on public display here.
All I can say for you is either keep trying, and hope you find someone who can appreciate your efforts and likes you for who you are, or find happiness in other things, some hobby of sorts. Everyone has talents.

yes so much agree. I spent most of my twenties miserbale because I didn't have a girlfriend. What a waste ! When I got to 31 I thought 'enough of this ****' and started to concentrate of the things that I wanted to do and stuff that made me happy.

I'm annoyed I got back into the 'wanting a girlfriend' thing in the last couple of years and guess what ? I was extremely miserable ! It is not worth it !

 

[Lefty Lonely]

I got back into it for a little while after I turned thirty but for the last three years or so, its not so crucial to me any more. Absolutely, not worth being miserable

 

[NoRain]

I always get "your a nice guy but (insert excuse here.)" I see post about girls not wanting a clingy guy and they have to be selfrelient, but what gets Me is Im self reliant I have to be cause im alone I dont have conference because why should ? So yeah if I found some one I would be clingy I would want to beable to dhare some of the burden because if I did find a girl I for once in my life have what I wanted.

As a girl, I have to say that a lot of girls are stupid. That additional X chromosome probably messed with something in our brains and we're doomed to only want guys that are hard to get, or ********, or whatever, because for some reason we think we can turn the ******* into a nice guy, or something ridiculous like that. Or maybe we're just plain masochists. I say 'we' because I, too, have suffered from girl stupidity.

In my defense, once I realized I was suffering from girl stupidity, I decided to give nice guys a chance. And what happened? They were crazy clingy. To me, the problem is that Ive always been single and lonely, so to go from 24 years of single and lonely to having someone that wants to be with me 24h a day is just... insane. I cant do it. Ive gotten too used to being alone to be able to just have my brain process the extreme opposite in a short period of time. I dont know if thats what happens to all girls, Im just saying that at least for me, theres a very clear reason as to why clingy guys are no good.

Next time a girl tells you that "you're a nice guy but...", complete that sentence with "but you'd rather get your heart broken by some *******?"
Sometimes girls need a reality check.

Also, I have to agree with what the guys said, there's more to life than being in a relationship. Try discovering new things, one of them might even lead you to meet someone special. And also try to find things that you like to do on your own, cause who knows, you might not be able to do them anymore once you find someone

 

[Toastedone]

First off thanks for you opinions.
Im not solely miserable because of no relationship I also dont think having a gf will solve every thing but I would like to experience it just once.
I have friends, I have some hobbies, I have a good job ss a cook and love cooking. I have interest just not a lot
I love learning new things that catch my eye. I just tend to be the indoors type.
I often get told I dont act like a normal guy which as far as ive gathered means I care more than just to want a place to stick my **** in like most of the ******** they run off with.
Im still working my post s will be delayed.

---

First off thanks for you opinions.
Im not solely miserable because of no relationship I also dont think having a gf will solve every thing but I would like to experience it just once.
I have friends, I have some hobbies, I have a good job ss a cook and love cooking. I have interest just not a lot
I love learning new things that catch my eye. I just tend to be the indoors type.
I often get told I dont act like a normal guy which as far as ive gathered means I care more than just to want a place to stick my **** in like most of the ******** they run off with.
Im still working my post s will be delayed.

 

[isthatso]

c'mon there's more to life than having a girlfriend !
There is so much to do and learn and enjoy. Why be miserable because you havent got a woman ?

Very important point this. Chances are if you aren't happy before you find a partner, you won't be after.
Learn to enjoy your own company first. Learn to be your own best friend. Your own number one advocate.

---

I often get told I dont act like a normal guy which as far as ive gathered means I care more than just to want a place to stick my **** in like most of the ******** they run off with.

I see this kind of comment often from guys who don't have a girlfriend. All it does is reinforce the fact that you are very envious of "those ********". Maybe they are doing something right. Maybe they enjoy women's company and women feel relaxed with them.
Focus on developing your own strengths. Save your energy for personal growth.

 

[duff]

Im 23 and Ive never had a girlfriend. Im not attractive, I dont think I'm interesting , Im socially awkward.
I just for once wish I could find some one who could see Me as someone they'd want to be with. Im sick of being told oh its easy you just ask them out its easy.
Ive realized it doesn't matter what I do no girl will ever want me.
I grew up oldest of three which led me to play parent for two siblings both with disabilities. That made it so I never left the house so im just used to being at home but its not like I still live with my folks I have roomates but I support myself.

When it comes to girls its hard if I try being anything other than a friend im rejected.
I always get "your a nice guy but (insert excuse here.)" I see post about girls not wanting a clingy guy and they have to be selfrelient, but what gets Me is Im self reliant I have to be cause im alone I dont have conference because why should ? So yeah if I found some one I would be clingy I would want to beable to dhare some of the burden because if I did find a girl I for once in my life have what I wanted.
I get it you dont build a life around someone you share life with them but all I feel like is that im not good enough for any one.
Ive had sex with one girl and there was no emotional attatchment it was just meningless sex which ended with her stealing **** from me before leaving the next day.
The closest ive come to some one was a friend whos engaged now married and I dont even know what you would call our relationship. In the end it just me alone not able to forget someone ill never see again because I have no part in her life.
Most days I dont want to get out of bed yet I get up grit my teeth and smile and tell every one how happy I am but honestly I feel dead inside.
Im at the point where I dont ever was to feel the emotion im told is love because I hate it nothing good comes from it.
Im not suicide I just feel like all im doing is waiting to die day by day.
All I want is a companion but I dont deserve one.
Its late I couldn't sleep so I wrote this ill be back tomorrow.

c'mon there's more to life than having a girlfriend !
There is so much to do and learn and enjoy. Why be miserable because you havent got a woman ?

---

I know those feels bro.
Round the town I'm not even considered dating material because everyone stays away from me, although the feelings are mutual so that doesn't bother me.
In those rare moments that I leave this place I have no idea how to have a decent conversation, let alone court a woman.
But I've pretty much given up on all that for reasons I shall not put on public display here.
All I can say for you is either keep trying, and hope you find someone who can appreciate your efforts and likes you for who you are, or find happiness in other things, some hobby of sorts. Everyone has talents.

yes so much agree. I spent most of my twenties miserbale because I didn't have a girlfriend. What a waste ! When I got to 31 I thought 'enough of this ****' and started to concentrate of the things that I wanted to do and stuff that made me happy.

I'm annoyed I got back into the 'wanting a girlfriend' thing in the last couple of years and guess what ? I was extremely miserable ! It is not worth it !

---

trouble was I fell hard for this woman at work. Awfull experience to be honest. I did tell a few friends and one, this woman introduced me to her neighbour to help me get over this other woman. I 'dated' her for a few months until I found out she was a lying bitch. To get over her I joined a dating site, were I 'met' this woman who scammed me out of money.

So it was one after another. Not much has happaned since September and guess what ? I have been fairly happy and content !

 

[theraab]

Im not attractive, I dont think I'm interesting , Im socially awkward.
I just for once wish I could find some one who could see Me as someone they'd want to be with.

What I'm about to say may sound harsh, but please don't take it that way: Look at those two statements above and ask yourself, if you aren't attractive, interesting or socially adept, what is it about you that think someone would want to be with? If you can't think of anything, you need to think about improving yourself to become the kind of guy that girls want to be around.

I know there are limitations - if you aren't attractive, you may not be able to do anything about the look of your face, but you can workout to improve your physique; you can get some sharp clothes, and make sure you are properly groomed; and get some cologne that makes you smell good.

If you're not interesting (which almost everyone has something interesting about them), you can take up a hobby; even better, you can volunteer somewhere, so that you become someone interesting while meeting new people.

If you're socially awkward, you can try to be more sociable, both with men and women, so you are more comfortable talking to people in general.

And always play up your strengths (you're a cook, a lot of girls like guys who are good cooks). You took care of your siblings, that means that you have a caring side that a lot of girls like.

Finally, as far as the "friend zone" problem, are you either too accommodating/too available? or are you indecisive when you are around these girls? (indecisive meaning that you let them pick where you go when you go places?) If either of these are the case, you don't always have to say "yes" when people invite you places - and speak up about what you want to do. I don't know you, so I don't know if either of these are an issue, but I've notice a lot of guys who end up in the friend zone have these two problems.

Anyway, good luck.

 

[bulmabriefs144]

I'm not dateable either. I finally figured out why (see Trust Issues) and yea, I'm pretty much screwed.

People who say "you just ask them out, it's easy" should be shot. Even if that were all there were to it (there's usually self-confidence issues too), even that is not easy. Jerks.