I'm not sure which is worse

[TheRealCallie]

Welp, shocker...but that was it. She told me (very politely I should add, she was a nice woman) that she was sorry, "I was a great guy but she was also talking with another man and she wanted to concentrate on what might be there with him".

That happens for EVERYONE. I don't see how that is a failure in your eyes. You DID enjoy each other. Sadly, there was someone else that she enjoyed more. Hell, that's happened to me before too and I've actually done that to guys before. And before anyone asks, the one I chose was the less good looking guy of the two. That's part of life, it literally happens all the time, especially with online dating.

 

[Running Alone]

hmm, maybe if you go "too low'' the other person thinks "what's wrong with this person that they want to be with me?" lol.

VERY possible! No argument there lol. Us humans, we're pretty unpredictable!

 

[okidoke]

VERY possible! No argument there lol. Us humans, we're pretty unpredictable!

but you gotta keep trying.

 

[Running Alone]

That happens for EVERYONE. I don't see how that is a failure in your eyes. You DID enjoy each other. Sadly, there was someone else that she enjoyed more. Hell, that's happened to me before too and I've actually done that to guys before. And before anyone asks, the one I chose was the less good looking guy of the two. That's part of life, it literally happens all the time, especially with online dating.

Agree with this too. It's like this for many of us, no doubt. I was simply sharing a story and I don't think I'll ever try that particular test again. Was trying to agree with the OP in a way...maybe for some of us trying and failing IS worse.

 

[TheRealCallie]

hmm, maybe if you go "too low'' the other person thinks "what's wrong with this person that they want to be with me?" lol.

Okay, this does happen. BUT, it's in the head of the person that thinks they are a "loser" (for lack of wanting to find a better word). I've had MANY guys tell me that they don't know why I would talk to them. Honestly, it's annoying. I talked to them because they seemed interesting, because I wanted to get to know them, because it actually could have went somewhere. Their insecurity is a major turn off. Stop thinking people are better or worse than others. If you see someone that you find interesting, talk to them. Don't make it all about dating and having sex or getting married or whatever, make it about getting to know an interesting person. And then, if it happens it happens.

I promise you, the majority of people are not as shallow as some of you seem to think.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Agree with this too. It's like this for many of us, no doubt. I was simply sharing a story and I don't think I'll ever try that particular test again. Was trying to agree with the OP in a way...maybe for some of us trying and failing IS worse.

Yeah, but everyone fails. Even (brace yourself).....good looking people. Not everyone is a match for you, even if you think it is. Dating is, unfortunately, mostly about rejection because for those that are serious in finding someone to spend their life with, most people are not the person they want/need.
I can also tell you that a lot of people stay in relationships that aren't working just so they aren't alone. They can't handle being alone. I've seen it a million times.

 

[sub5male]

Agree with this too. It's like this for many of us, no doubt. I was simply sharing a story and I don't think I'll ever try that particular test again. Was trying to agree with the OP in a way...maybe for some of us trying and failing IS worse.

I'm done on this forum RA-there are far too many deluded, toxic fundamentalists who have swallowed the Just World fallacy narrative so only have ad hominem attacks and baseless accusations to resort to. In many ways it's like being back in grade school again and I imagine that the perpetrators here were also the school bullies in their youth. Good luck in trying to get them to see reason or be able to relate to the plight of ugly men such as you, I & several other men here.

Take care & best of luck to you in the future. I hope you are able to find someone to share your life with. As we both know, being alone & unwanted is a horrible curse which I would not wish on my worst enemy.

Peace.

 

[Running Alone]

I'm done on this forum RA-there are far too many deluded, toxic fundamentalists who have swallowed the Just World fallacy narrative so only have ad hominem attacks and baseless accusations to resort to. In many ways it's like being back in grade school again and I imagine that the perpetrators here were also the school bullies in their youth. Good luck in trying to get them to see reason or be able to relate to the plight of ugly men such as you, I & several other men here.

Take care & best of luck to you in the future. I hope you are able to find someone to share your life with. As we both know, being alone & unwanted is a horrible curse which I would not wish on my worst enemy.

Peace.

Shame to hear that, hope you stick around...I'm sure there are plenty of others that share similar views here, some may not speak up but I bet still agree. The odd thing is - I don't see you (or myself for that matter) trying to actually convince others to change their views or stating outright that they're wrong, we're just sharing our experiences, good and bad, no harm in that IMO.

Anyway, best of luck!

 

[CenotaphGirl]

I leave you boys alone for one min and you are name calling, being sensitive and storming off in tantrums

I'm done on this forum RA-there are far too many deluded, toxic fundamentalists who have swallowed the Just World fallacy narrative so only have ad hominem attacks and baseless accusations to resort to. In many ways it's like being back in grade school again and I imagine that the perpetrators here were also the school bullies in their youth. Good luck in trying to get them to see reason or be able to relate to the plight of ugly men such as you, I & several other men here.

Take care & best of luck to you in the future. I hope you are able to find someone to share your life with. As we both know, being alone & unwanted is a horrible curse which I would not wish on my worst enemy.

Peace.

Now now theres no need to leave, you are valued and your posts give me something to read. Many people relate to you and others hate the incel/man orientated topics no matter who posts it, its not personal.

Im sure you find it hard to meet someone for reasons outside your control. However, the biggest lie men were sold is that a woman could ever be a mans looks match, its impossible… a woman can only be old. Thats the match. Theres no physically fit women under 35 who are a match to a man… impossible.

 

[TheRealCallie]

The odd thing is - I don't see you (or myself for that matter) trying to actually convince others to change their views or stating outright that they're wrong, we're just sharing our experiences

No, YOU are sharing your experiences and actually having a civilized conversation with us, HE is constantly calling us deluded and assuming crap we never said. He definitely is outright stating we are wrong.

 

[WillPower]

According to some people on this board, your lack of success with women has nothing to do with your looks & is instead because you have either not put in the effort, have a horrible personality and/or hate women, lol.

I think the main problem on this board is that there are two differing extreme viewpoints. As a rule of thumb, you should generally never listen to the extremes. The truth usually lies somewhere in the middle. One extreme as you mentioned is placing all the blame on the guy. Just because a guy is failing doesn't mean he hates women or isn't trying. It's very possible a guy is doing all he can to improve but is still not having success. It happens. As long as you're doing the best you can, there's no shame in that. The other extreme though is your viewpoint that nothing matters except looks and height. Why would anyone think this? There is no one I know who wants to be in a relationship with someone just for looks. No one I know of wants to be with someone whose personality they dislike. There are so many other factors at play, that boiling it down to just looks and height is very myopic. And then to say that people are gaslighting and victim blaming you when suggesting that there are other factors at play is just weird. Dude, I'm in an even worse position than you. I've never even been married or been in a relationship, so why would I gaslight you?

The idea that if one or some people can do something that anyone can is a surviorship fallacy. The idea that attitude & personality can override being short & ugly is laughable at best and an example of a just world fallacy.

Case in point. The idea that you will never be able to do something because of looks and height is also a fallacy. Again, both are extremes, and both are wrong. Are there people who will fail all their life despite trying their best because of their looks? Sure. Anything is possible. But are there people who will succeed despite looks and height? Absolutely. It might just take them a lot longer to do so than someone who was born with good looks. While someone with good looks might be successful with 1 out of 3 women he approaches, someone who is short and ugly might only be successful with 1 out of 5000 women he approaches. It might take this person 10, 20, or even 30 years to find someone. Who knows? That's the way the cookie crumbles. Now if you think these odds are unfair, and that's what you're complaining about, and you don't want to try any more because of it, then that's up to you. But to say there's nothing you can do to keep trying and improving your chances is just false. Life isn't meant to be equal, so you've just got to man up. The fact is, you'll never know if you're one of these people who will eventually succeed unless you keep trying. All I know is, if you give up, you've got a zero percent shot of succeeding.

 

[Mrgb66]

I mentioned earlier about my neighbors. Yes she is a very attractive woman and her boyfriend is a attractive male. He has some mental issues and has even thrown her designer clothes in the trash (all of them). She has forgiven him of it because he is an attractive male.

I think I forgot to tell this part. I was coming back home in March and was walking to my place and she was down on the other part of the street and I have vision problems and she did not know this. Well I was judged as a old man with a problem and thats why I have not see the both of them since March. I told this to my upstairs neighbor who talks to them and he has vision problems also at our age.

I still dont believe his line that they were asking about me.

A week before that incident They were having this conversation that lasted for some time with their neighbor who was also attractive but when I came they suddenly had to go.

So I have written them off like I had never met them. I dont even look at their place as I walk by and I know for a fact they are good with it. So both parties are happy now.

 

[Mrgb66]

I just remembered this.

If you want one of those very attractive women. They are not here in USA. I learned of this from a guy I bought his reports from. His name was Rusty Ferguson. He moved to the Philippines and he is up there probably age 67 and he is a chubby dude and his woman is in her 30's.

I married a filipina RN and we are both single now. It was all "lovy dovy" till her Americanization then all my faults came out. So if you want to go that route do not bring a foreign wife back here because onces she gets her American status and you are not deemed an attractive male then she will try to get rid of you. Either divorce or death ( hire a killer)

 

[TheRealCallie]

She has forgiven him of it because he is an attractive male.

How exactly do you know this?

 

[Mrgb66]

How exactly do you know this?

She is still with him

 

[TheRealCallie]

She is still with him

Yes, but how do you know the reason is because he's attractive?

 

[Mrgb66]

Yes, but how do you know the reason is because he's attractive?

I observe a bit more now than i used to.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I observe a bit more now than i used to.

Sorry, but that's not something you can "observe" That's just you making a (likely wrong) assumption.

 

[Mrgb66]

Sorry, but that's not something you can "observe" That's just you making a (likely wrong) assumptionI

I observe this not only with these 2 but with others.

Have a good day

 

[TheRealCallie]

This is half the problem with today's world. Everything thinking they know exactly what everyone else is doing and why they are doing it. Just stop it, people. Think for yourself, not others because you have no idea what they are thinking and why they do what they do.