I'm so lonely

[sadphoenix]

I'm so lonely that it is physically painful and I cry every day.

Ever since I was a very young child I felt like I couldn't relate to or connect with other people.

I've never had any real friends.

My family hardly ever speaks to me.

No one ever wants to make an effort anymore. I'm the one always making the effort but if I stopped making an effort everyone else would just completely forget my existence.

I worry about dying alone at home and it would be weeks, maybe months, before anyone found me. I would be a skeleton before anyone finds me.

This has been a lifelong feeling...I began to realize I could not rely on anyone, and that I do not matter to anyone when I was about 15...

I really don't think sharing this here or anywhere else would make a difference. I will still always be all alone. But I'm so lonely every day that I don't know what else to do.

It was easier to tolerate when I stopped trying to get to know people and just accepted my eternal solitude. I wish that I could go back to that mindset. But I don't know how.

 

[Finished]

Welcome to the site! I'm sorry you are in so much pain. It was easier for me to stop trying, be alone, and stay alone. Now it's great. Everything is about me. I don't care if nobody wants to talk to me or not. I don't care if anybody finds me attractive or not. It just doesn't matter. I rarely speak to anybody and if I do it's because they want something from me. However, I still have the need for human connection. Writing back and forth to someone else provides me with the connection I need. I would also like to have physical connection. But that's not as important.

 

[sadphoenix]

Welcome to the site! I'm sorry you are in so much pain. It was easier for me to stop trying, be alone, and stay alone. Now it's great. Everything is about me. I don't care if nobody wants to talk to me or not. I don't care if anybody finds me attractive or not. It just doesn't matter. I rarely speak to anybody and if I do it's because they want something from me. However, I still have the need for human connection. Writing back and forth to someone else provides me with the connection I need. I would also like to have physical connection. But that's not as important.

I understand completely about people only wanting to talk when they want something. Everyone I ever knew used me and then abandoned me once my usefulness ran out. My mother used to tell me "you have to be a friend to make friends". Biggest lie anyone ever told me. Being a friend to someone gets you nothing but being taken advantage of and then getting kicked to the curb once your "friend" becomes bored of you or finds someone they think is better. I've always been a loyal person and a good listener who tries to see the good in people. But no one seems to want that. They want someone who will heap attention and praise on them, entertain them, and be an audience for their stupidity. Better watch out you don't have any emotional needs of your own. Oh no, not that. That's "toxic" these days. Have any sort of emotional need, and "friends" do their little disappearing act. Every time.

 

[Minus]

Welcome to the forums. The experience that you describe is unfortunately, well known by many who come through this way.

 

[mgill]

I'm so lonely that it is physically painful and I cry every day.

Ever since I was a very young child I felt like I couldn't relate to or connect with other people.

I've never had any real friends.

My family hardly ever speaks to me.

No one ever wants to make an effort anymore. I'm the one always making the effort but if I stopped making an effort everyone else would just completely forget my existence.

I worry about dying alone at home and it would be weeks, maybe months, before anyone found me. I would be a skeleton before anyone finds me.

This has been a lifelong feeling...I began to realize I could not rely on anyone, and that I do not matter to anyone when I was about 15...

I really don't think sharing this here or anywhere else would make a difference. I will still always be all alone. But I'm so lonely every day that I don't know what else to do.

It was easier to tolerate when I stopped trying to get to know people and just accepted my eternal solitude. I wish that I could go back to that mindset. But I don't know how.

 this is a very sad circumstance which many can relate to, myself included.  sadly, in the vast majority of cases it comes down to not being physically attractive enough to experience intimate connections.  contrary to popular belief, everyone's potential quality of life is based on their genetic quality (or lack thereof) so those of us who have lost the genetic lottery will have a very difficult time experiencing success when it comes to relationships-which really are the only things which matter in life.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Welcome to the forum. Do you have any hobbies? What do you do to occupy your time? I don't think you should accept an "eternal solitude" because there's no reason to. Everyone has people out there that would be a great fit for their lives. People who will care and understand and help you through whatever you are going through, whether it's good or bad. Keep trying and don't give up

contrary to popular belief, everyone's potential quality of life is based on their genetic quality (or lack thereof) so those of us who have lost the genetic lottery will have a very difficult time experiencing success when it comes to relationships-which really are the only things which matter in life.

Contrary to YOUR belief, that is not true.....and the OP never even said anything about looks or genetics.

 

[Sidewinder]

I don't know your circumstances, but here in Cochise County, I NEVER feel lonely with my cats to keep me company. Have you considered adopting a pet? Maybe a couple of kittens so they each have a playmate? I guarantee they will brighten your life... my cats keep me entertained with their crazy antics, and they offer unconditional love (especially around feeding time, lol). If you're not a cat person, maybe adopt a puppy... then you'll certainly meet other animal lovers as you walk the dog, take it to the nearest dog park, etc. Sure, there's work involved, and the expense of owning a pet, but it pays off in the long run. Try  to find a pet (or pets) which will fit your lifestyle... for instance, if you don't want a hyper dog, choose one that's more calm. Moi, I'm a cat person born in 'The Year of the Tiger'---I still like dogs, but I can't see myself ever living without cats, they are too cool. There are entire cat forums on the web too, where one can interact with other cat lovers. Just my $.02, since you seem so sad... kittens will brighten anybody's day! Cheers!!!

 

[mgill]

"Contrary to YOUR belief, that is not true.....and the OP never even said anything about looks or genetics."

the OP claimed they had no personal connections. this is only possible for attractive people if they do so by choice. studies show that just about every aspect of life is greatly enhanced by being physically attractive and the reverse is also true. perhaps the OP may not realize a possible cause of their disconnection from others may be due to their looks level.

it all comes down to the Halo Effect as studies show that just about every aspect of life is enhanced by being physically attractive and the opppsite is therefore also true:

https://www.insider.com/benefits-of...angers-might-assume-you-have-a-happier-life-5

 

[TheSkaFish]

Welcome to the forum, SadPhoenix

I saw before you took it down, that some of your favorite things were classic cars, particularly the '69 Corvette and '76 Trans Am. I'm a Mustang guy myself, but I like those cars you mentioned too, plus lots more. You have good taste!

Do you have any local car shows in your area? I don't know if you will meet anyone there or not, but at least it's something that's kinda fun to do whether you go with someone or by yourself. I know I enjoy just walking up and down the rows looking at the cars.

 

[ahsatan]

I can relate a lot.

Sorry u feel that way too.☹☹

 

[oldasrocks]

I'm so lonely that it is physically painful and I cry every day.

Ever since I was a very young child I felt like I couldn't relate to or connect with other people.

I've never had any real friends.

My family hardly ever speaks to me.

No one ever wants to make an effort anymore. I'm the one always making the effort but if I stopped making an effort everyone else would just completely forget my existence.

I worry about dying alone at home and it would be weeks, maybe months, before anyone found me. I would be a skeleton before anyone finds me.

This has been a lifelong feeling...I began to realize I could not rely on anyone, and that I do not matter to anyone when I was about 15...

I really don't think sharing this here or anywhere else would make a difference. I will still always be all alone. But I'm so lonely every day that I don't know what else to do.

It was easier to tolerate when I stopped trying to get to know people and just accepted my eternal solitude. I wish that I could go back to that mindset. But I don't know how.

Sounds lot like me. no friends. Don't even talk to family as they look down on me. What I do to survive is build things. I try to do something positive every day. I also help people when I can anomalously. The plus side of being by myself is being out of the mainstream of all the current crazy world. I sleep when I want. eat when I want and set my own schedules.

 

[Aardra]

I'm so lonely that it is physically painful and I cry every day.

Ever since I was a very young child I felt like I couldn't relate to or connect with other people.

I've never had any real friends.

My family hardly ever speaks to me.

No one ever wants to make an effort anymore. I'm the one always making the effort but if I stopped making an effort everyone else would just completely forget my existence.

I worry about dying alone at home and it would be weeks, maybe months, before anyone found me. I would be a skeleton before anyone finds me.

This has been a lifelong feeling...I began to realize I could not rely on anyone, and that I do not matter to anyone when I was about 15...

I really don't think sharing this here or anywhere else would make a difference. I will still always be all alone. But I'm so lonely every day that I don't know what else to do.

It was easier to tolerate when I stopped trying to get to know people and just accepted my eternal solitude. I wish that I could go back to that mindset. But I don't know how.

 this is a very sad circumstance which many can relate to, myself included.  sadly, in the vast majority of cases it comes down to not being physically attractive enough to experience intimate connections.  contrary to popular belief, everyone's potential quality of life is based on their genetic quality (or lack thereof) so those of us who have lost the genetic lottery will have a very difficult time experiencing success when it comes to relationships-which really are the only things which matter in life.

lmao every thread. cringe.

 

[Sidewinder]

SadPhoenix, join the club... too many people are self-absorbed & downright selfish nowadays, I see this as a result of Big Tech ********. Too many people caught up in their devices, and worried about what complete strangers think of them in web forums. No good old-fashioned interpersonal or conversational skills anymore, lol. OldAsRocks has the right mindset, read that post again.

Moi, I'm the black sheep of my family, so my siblings never speak to me unless I contact them first. Some still don't speak to me... their choice, not mine. But all those others outside your family? Piss on 'em... drop-kick 'em outta your life and start over with new friends. Get outdoors a bit more, get some exercise (even if it's just walking). Meet folks whose faces aren't buried in cheesedick Big Tech devices... what a concept, lol.

Also, have you considered a pet or companion animal? I never feel lonely even though I live alone... not with four cats to keep me company and entertain me with their crazy antics. Truth be told, these cats rate higher than many 'humans' on this planet, which in itself is a sad reflection upon modern society and all its ills. Rise above, and carry on with your own life until you meet people worth knowing. 

Contrary to all the ******** slung by naysayers and 'doom & gloom' prophets, good folks exist out there, but it's up to you to find them. Nobody ever said it would be easy either, lol. But changing one's mindset is the first step... distance yourself from those ******** who currently ignore you, life will certainly improve once you do that. Don't let their ******** attitudes negatively influence YOUR life. Enough said... Cheers!!!  

 

[Olivia24]

I'm so lonely that it is physically painful and I cry every day.

Ever since I was a very young child I felt like I couldn't relate to or connect with other people.

I've never had any real friends.

My family hardly ever speaks to me.

No one ever wants to make an effort anymore. I'm the one always making the effort but if I stopped making an effort everyone else would just completely forget my existence.

I worry about dying alone at home and it would be weeks, maybe months, before anyone found me. I would be a skeleton before anyone finds me.

This has been a lifelong feeling...I began to realize I could not rely on anyone, and that I do not matter to anyone when I was about 15...

I really don't think sharing this here or anywhere else would make a difference. I will still always be all alone. But I'm so lonely every day that I don't know what else to do.

It was easier to tolerate when I stopped trying to get to know people and just accepted my eternal solitude. I wish that I could go back to that mindset. But I don't know how.

You are an awesome  person!!!I am so happy you are  here.

---

SadPhoenix, join the club... too many people are self-absorbed & downright selfish nowadays, I see this as a result of Big Tech ********. Too many people caught up in their devices, and worried about what complete strangers think of them in web forums. No good old-fashioned interpersonal or conversational skills anymore, lol. OldAsRocks has the right mindset, read that post again.

Moi, I'm the black sheep of my family, so my siblings never speak to me unless I contact them first. Some still don't speak to me... their choice, not mine. But all those others outside your family? Piss on 'em... drop-kick 'em outta your life and start over with new friends. Get outdoors a bit more, get some exercise (even if it's just walking). Meet folks whose faces aren't buried in cheesedick Big Tech devices... what a concept, lol.

Also, have you considered a pet or companion animal? I never feel lonely even though I live alone... not with four cats to keep me company and entertain me with their crazy antics. Truth be told, these cats rate higher than many 'humans' on this planet, which in itself is a sad reflection upon modern society and all its ills. Rise above, and carry on with your own life until you meet people worth knowing. 

Contrary to all the ******** slung by naysayers and 'doom & gloom' prophets, good folks exist out there, but it's up to you to find them. Nobody ever said it would be easy either, lol. But changing one's mindset is the first step... distance yourself from those ******** who currently ignore you, life will certainly improve once you do that. Don't let their ******** attitudes negatively influence YOUR life. Enough said... Cheers!!!  

I  like your attitude!!!

 

[mattkoel]

I can definitely relate to everything you said. It's as if my destiny/fate is set and there's nothing I can do to change it.
 Through my entire life I felt like I was the person who no one wanted to know. I was the person That people stayed away from for whatever reason. I've come to find out this is all my life was meant to be. Yes it's easier when you just stop trying But at the same time that guarantees more isolation and seclusion
 One would think that having a site like this would mean people would talk. 
 May Maybe I could find a like minded person who would just want to be a friend and talk? All I want is a friend.

 

[Jilldowney]

I'm so lonely that it is physically painful and I cry every day.

Ever since I was a very young child I felt like I couldn't relate to or connect with other people.

I've never had any real friends.

My family hardly ever speaks to me.

No one ever wants to make an effort anymore. I'm the one always making the effort but if I stopped making an effort everyone else would just completely forget my existence.

I worry about dying alone at home and it would be weeks, maybe months, before anyone found me. I would be a skeleton before anyone finds me.

This has been a lifelong feeling...I began to realize I could not rely on anyone, and that I do not matter to anyone when I was about 15...

I really don't think sharing this here or anywhere else would make a difference. I will still always be all alone. But I'm so lonely every day that I don't know what else to do.

It was easier to tolerate when I stopped trying to get to know people and just accepted my eternal solitude. I wish that I could go back to that mindset. But I don't know how.

I'm sorry your so lonely I to feel that way at times. It's harder when we get older to make new friends well at least I have found that.I haven't got family as such .I have realised I spend to much time alone.But going out cheers me up but I'm on my own.if you would like to chat I'm here.

 

[Timi]

I walk every day to the Super Market. I sign in for massage workshops, and sailing beginners courses with dinghgy !

 

[U-122]

this is a very sad circumstance which many can relate to, myself included. sadly, in the vast majority of cases it comes down to not being physically attractive enough to experience intimate connections. contrary to popular belief, everyone's potential quality of life is based on their genetic quality (or lack thereof) so those of us who have lost the genetic lottery will have a very difficult time experiencing success when it comes to relationships-which really are the only things which matter in life.

100%

 

[user 188522]

Oh! I know that saying too well!" Want a friend? Be a friend." Before I became a shut-in, I would tell new acquaintances I don't do or ask for favors. In the end, I became friendless. I understand what you are feeling.

 

[U-122]

Oh! I know that saying too well!" Want a friend? Be a friend." Before I became a shut-in, I would tell new acquaintances I don't do or ask for favors. In the end, I became friendless. I understand what you are feeling.

I don't even get new acquaintances. I don't want any more frenemies. Recently one last time, one female neighbor i wanted to try to like, wanted to help with something, be friends with and nothing more, turned against me, conspired against me, set me up. Even after i told her i liked her and was glad she's my neighbor, even after she texted and did some hurtful things to me. Turned out to be the devil herself. Extremely evil and manipulative. The worst part is i told another neighbor what horrible thing she has done to me and other neighbor doesn't even offer any help even though she can and should. So as of now i no longer have anyone in my circle i can trust and rely on. No more favors, no more help, no more acts of kindness, no more Mr Nice Neighbor Guy. None of that! I never ask anyone for favors because i know when others do something for me i'll owe them for the rest of my life. I don't accept favors, i don't ask. It's a cruel toxic world i exist in. I don't want to be around toxic human scum anymore. I really want to isolate myself from everyone. I don't even want to be out in public places anymore.