Exactly, Callie. And why does she do it here in the first place? Because she ignored me everywhere else. Does not talk to me. I am going mad because I cannot cut the cord to a person who is abusing me on a spiritual level. YOU CANNOT PRESS AN IGNORE BUTTON TO SOMEONE WHO KEEPS PROJECTING THOUGHTS to your psyche, not allowing you to sleep, and not allowing you to say a single thing back to them to reassure their broken mind that they are wrong.... They refuse to listen and you feel everything they feel, and you can't do a damn thing about it.
She is making me out to be a crazy person in order to save herself so she doesn't have to change or self-reflect. And she's doing a good job at it. I keep falling in the trap because I CANNOT SLEEP. I CANNOT EAT. I CANNOT THINK. I WANT HER TO ******* LEAVE ME ALONE ALREADY BUT I CANNOT SAY A SINGLE THING TO HER AS SHE SITS HERE IN SILENCE PRETENDING SHE IS NOT DOING **** TO ME. AND HAS IGNORED ME ON EVERY POSSIBLE LEVEL. BUT. Feeling what she feels.
These past three months has been her projecting herself on me. I was NEVER like this before her. She's stealing my energy in order to breathe while I suffocate. I'm a Witcher for her demons. Intentionally.
I needed to be left the **** alone in the first place and not have her telling half the ******* forum about something only the two of us was supposed to share intimately and I'm now a "crazy" person for sharing as she pretends the bond doesn't exist to the person she is sharing our private life with.
Yes. I need help. I need a ******* exorcist. That's what I need.
ahsatan, you need to stop listening to her and let go of things yourself. Leave me alone please and leave my private life private. I have kept my distance from you and you keep fishing for things to hate me and consider me crazy for to also save yourself. She is playing stupid and is painting me crazy. I know I sound crazy. But where do I go now that she's corrupted both my mind and soul over this abusive relationship.
My trust and heart got back-stabbed multiple times and lead to this. I never asked for this drama. I just asked for her to talk to me so I can breathe. That's all this has EVER been about. But insanity for simply wanting her to open up to me and not let me carry her abuse baggage in silence as she sucks me DRY so she can breathe instead.
I am forcing my hand because I just want to breathe to myself already... She will not allow me that unless I bend by her will. Which is. Do a blog again, talk to her there privately. One-sided Which leads us BACK HERE. AGAIN. Once I ask to please talk to about what is very much going on and how I am suffocating with her burdens, she sees it as a threat to her vulnerability instead and double downs on the dark projections where I suffocate more. Her reaction? Share our intimacy to make me do her bidding, again. Turn me insane so she gets what she wants.
When all I wanted EVER, was her to just let me love her and heal her. But she's too caught up in her past and projecting on me so much that I'm constantly given these spiritual glass walls that cannot shatter.
There. It's all out. I hope she LETS ME BREATHE PLEASE.
I'm already seen crazy now so I might as well spill it all out.
PLEASE. JUST CUT THE CORD ALREADY IF YOU AREN'T READY FOR IT THEN.
