Introvert find boyfriend?

[Jovi88]

Hi all, i just join here, and i think this is the right place for me to share my feelings. I'm female and i'm an introvert. Most times i like to be alone. I only have few best friends because It's hard for me to feel comfort with people. I'm 29 and i don't have a boyfriend yet. Few guys chased me but i just don't feel comfort with them. I have a friend that i really feel comfort with, but he already have a girlfriend. My friends often introduce their friends to me, but i just can't be open to someone that i just know. So it didn't last long. For all introverts out there, is it possible for me to find a boyfriend? Thanks all

 

[Sigma]

Being an introvert brings with it it's challenges (I'd know being one myself) though it doesn't make it impossible to find someone.
The biggest obstacle obviously is that introverts usually keep to themselves, don't go out much and so they don't meet many people. If that's not something you like to do (which I assume you don't) and the people you already know aren't people you see yourself getting together with you could try meeting someone online, I know of several people that actually met right here on this forum.
Truthfully, if there was sound advice to give on how to easily get with someone many of us wouldn't even be here, what I can say is that it's possible, you just have to meet the right person for you.

 

[Tiina63]

Being an introvert does make it more difficult for the reasons Sigma has stated. Also, western society seems to expect women to be the bubbly ones who are effortlessly entertaining and who always know what to say in social situations, dating or otherwise. This creates more pressure for those of us who are female introverts.
Online dating can be good and also hard for introverts. On the plus side, it gives us the chance to actually meet someone if either we don't go out much or we are overlooked when we do go out. We can also find out a bit beforehand about the person via email in terms of interests etc which hopefully will lead to having things to talk about when meeting. On the down side actually meeting the person is very different from emailing and even having some things in common does not always translate into having a flowing and easy conversation. For many introverts the small talk part of dating is the biggest hurdle. Hopefully if the right person comes along, the conversation will be easier.

 

[Cavey]

Hey Jovi.

I'm a massive introvert and I have a cornucopia of other problems, such as manic depression, OCD, social anxiety disorder etc. I spent the majority of my childhood and teenage years alone. I never much liked going out and was always happier when I was inside than outside. Despite all that, I somehow managed to have a few girlfriends and eventually got married when I was 26.

It may not have lasted, but it shows that anyone can find someone, no matter how improbable it may seem.

 

[Limlim]

Sounds like you're comfortable with this other person because you've known him for awhile. The solution then seems to be to get to know some of these people first before you start dating them. Maybe work on a pool of male friends and get comfortable first?

Worst case scenario, you end up with a buncha friends.

 

[Senamian]

If you do not feel comfortable, you cannot come out of your shell. The fella I am with, he took his time, figuring out what did not make me comfortable and HOW to make me feel comfortable around him. Everyone has their little quirks.. And when you find someone who likes your quirks, and can work with them, then you know you found the one!

 

[lonelyfairy]

Yes, it's a possible to find a boyfriend, even if introvert. I'm glad you have a good friend, that's a good start! I found my boyfriend from this forum and love usually happens when you least expect it.. Cliché, but so true. Love doesn't look that are you introvert or extrovert, it's about the chemistry and bond between two people, but I think you know that, so it's not probably helping, lol. Just be yourself and be comfortable with yourself, love will come to you, I'm sure.

 

[Tiina63]

I think that what you say, lonelyfairy, is good advice, to be yourself and be comfortable with yourself, but it can be so hard to actually follow this advice when you are an introvert. Like many introverts, when struggling to think of things to say on dates, I have this fear bubbling away inside me saying ' oh, I am so boring, why can't I think of interesting things to say, oh he has just yawned which shows he is bored etc etc'

 

[lonelyfairy]

I think that what you say, lonelyfairy, is good advice, to be yourself and be comfortable with yourself, but it can be so hard to actually follow this advice when you are an introvert. Like many introverts, when struggling to think of things to say on dates, I have this fear bubbling away inside me saying ' oh, I am so boring, why can't I think of interesting things to say, oh he has just yawned which shows he is bored etc etc'

Yeah, I know... :/ I'm introvert too and still learning to be comfortable about myself. But you're right.

 

[Mike510]

I would prefer an introvert as a girlfriend. Probably because most girls I meet lately are extreamly outgoing and always want to do things like go to clubs or to bars and I don't care for those places. I do get what your saying about silent periods during a date, I am an introvert myself and I worried about that the first time I went out and I ended up just trying to make any type of conversation and it got awkward.

 

[MaddogRon]

I'm an introvert and I've been that way all my life. I did meet and marry someone, but now I'm a married introvert.
It causes problems and that makes me withdraw even more. So my advice is work on not being an introvert if you can,,,, I couldn't. Because having someone doesn't fix the problem and may even feed the problem.
I don't mean to sound like all gloom and doom but facts are facts. Work on yourself first, and a relationship second .
~ Ron ~

 

[Okiedokes]

Yes it is possible to meet someone. The thing with being an introvert or with anything else is the other person has to accept these personality traits or it won't work out. And trust me, it won't. Been there. lol.

If the other person can't accept you for you then it's not worth it anyways, move on and look for people who are similar or at least accepting.

 

[Jovi88]

Thanks for your advices, do you think it's better for me to find an introvert boyfriend or extrovert? Because i just realized that my friends are mostly introverts. I find it hard to get along with someone that extrovert because they always want to hang out with a large group of people, they love crowds, they don't like to be at home, and so on.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Thanks for your advices, do you think it's better for me to find an introvert boyfriend or extrovert? Because i just realized that my friends are mostly introverts. I find it hard to get along with someone that extrovert because they always want to hang out with a large group of people, they love crowds, they don't like to be at home, and so on.

I think you kinda answered your own question in the bolded above.

Be with someone you are comfortable to be with.