Is there anyone here who has no family?

[forsakenfornow]

Never mind friends for right now. Is there anyone here who has no, or no cantact with family? I'm a 22yr female and I having a hard time without family to fall back on or call on. The world is a scarry place right now. My friends used to be my family 2yrs ago. But a few severe mental breakdowns and one bad relationship later. I am friendless AND familyless. Can anyone out there relate? Does having no family greatly incresse your risk of having no friends? I am envious of people with large, close, caring families. I see them together and feel more alone.

 

[Lost_N_Alone]

Never mind friends for right now. Is there anyone here who has no, or no cantact with family? I'm a 22yr female and I having a hard time without family to fall back on or call on. The world is a scarry place right now. My friends used to be my family 2yrs ago. But a few severe mental breakdowns and one bad relationship later. I am friendless AND familyless. Can anyone out there relate? Does having no family greatly incresse your risk of having no friends? I am envious of people with large, close, caring families. I see them together and feel more alone.

I have no family.  It really sucks.  I have no REAL friends either.  I've gotten used to being on my own, but I can hardly say I enjoy it.  I too am slightly envious of people with loving caring families, and i get so mad at people who complain about their families over the smallest, most trivial things.  They are lucky they don't know what it's like to not have any family.  I don't know if the fact of having no family greatly increases the risk of having no friends or not.  The people I hang out with I wouldn't call real friends, but my lack of real friends has more to do with my personality and shyness than having no family.  I think there's a saying, family is forever, true friends are hard to find.  It's true.  True friendship is rare.  If I at least had one true friend I wouldn't feel so alone.  If I had some family, having no true friends probably wouldn't feel as bad.  
I'm sorry to hear of your situation.  Take heart though, you're not alone.  

 

[Tiina63]

I have no family either. I feel as if I am on a tightrope the whole time and have to keep going because there is noone there to catch me if I fall. It makes the world a frightening place when there is noone at all in your corner. I have some friends, but it isn't the same as family. There isn't the same sense of belonging. I so envy people when I hear them say 'my husband said this ' or 'my sister did that.'

 

[Lost Drifter]

Wow talk about a necro thread but yes, I’m in the same boat of having no family but I get the added bonus of having no friends too, buy one loneliness and get the other free? :rolleyes2:

I feel as if I am on a tightrope the whole time and have to keep going because there is noone there to catch me if I fall. It makes the world a frightening place when there is noone at all in your corner.

Perfectly said Tiina63, you hit the nail on the head right there. It’s hard to explain the fear and constant battle to defend yourself when you are completely alone, you can never let your guard down for a second and this really takes its toll over time.

 

[SophiaGrace]

I can't imagine what it'd be like to have no family.

 

[nea_lin]

I don't have family either, and I agree that it is very hard and is very lonely. What I find helpful is to connect more with friends, although it's not the same. It helps to simply just go for a coffee with a friend to either get to know them better or catch up if you haven't seen them in awhile.
It also helps to take up a hobby where you can be part of a group, such as a fitness group or a club that pertains to one of your interests.
Also, having a counselor is helpful. It's good to have someone who you can openly talk to.

 

[fox]

It also is the same for me. I have no contact with family for years, not since I was young. It is burdensome but also it frees as well, I think.

 

[OurLadysTears]

When everyone says they have no family, do you mean that your family has drifted away to where there is no contact, therefore you have no family? What happened to your families? I know there had to be something there at some point? Just curious?

 

[fox]

When everyone says they have no family, do you mean that your family has drifted away to where there is no contact, therefore you have no family? What happened to your families? I know there had to be something there at some point? Just curious?

as for me, I left and cut contact completely

 

[Tiina63]

When everyone says they have no family, do you mean that your family has drifted away to where there is no contact, therefore you have no family? What happened to your families? I know there had to be something there at some point? Just curious?

My parents died, and I have no brothers or sisters and am single with no children.

 

[HC22]

I'm really sorry when I hear about this kind of situations, I really admire people who are able to move on and stand on their own even without the support of their families.
I think it would be devasting for me.
I've always had a lot of respect for their courage, really it takes a lot of strenght to be able to do that, a lot.
Maybe you don't realize because they don't tell you directly but a lot of people probably feels the same as me when they look at you.

I hope you will all find the support you need sooner or later, ...I seriously hope you'll meet someone you can relay on and will be ready to catch you when you fall.


PS : I know that it might happen to feel jealous of the people who still have their families, I think very it's understandable, ...but if you can ( it might not be easy ) try not to judge the ones who act like they give thier families for granted, because ... unfortunately many don't realize what they have until they loose it it's not like they are bad or anything.
try make them realize what a great treasure they have instead if you can, because too many life their lives giving priority to the worng things, it's really sad.


Anyway to all of you that are in this situation...Let me send you a huge visrtual hug, I'm pretty sure your family members would want to see you smile and live happily so keep being storng.
I wish you a loooot of happiness

 

[LonelyInAtl]

I don't have any family to speak of. A few distant aunts/uncles/cousins, but none that are considered close. I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas day having meals at The Waffle House or the other few restaurants open to be around people those days. I had friends invite me over, but those days are family time and I didn't want to feel like I was imposing.

 

[beermaestro]

Same as the post above. Multiple divorces, constant instability, and the early death of one parent have basically left things a complete clusterfuck as far as family goes.

On the one hand, I had to strike out my territory, because it took long years to realize that things were completely messed up, and I needed to be free once and for all.

On the other hand, I have always envied friends and others who have close-knit families. It's a thing to be cherished.

 

[EveWasFramed]

I have my daughter and a brother who lives close by. I don't see him much because we both work a lot.
The nearest family other than him is about five hours away. It kinda sucks.

 

[Lost Drifter]

I spent Thanksgiving and Christmas day having meals at The Waffle House or the other few restaurants open to be around people those days.

Yes I know that feeling, I spend a majority of holidays volunteering just to get out of the house as microwave meals for one and desperate thoughts of "I’m ok" can only get you so far before the cracks start to show. It gets difficult when the media push the ideal of families being sat around a large table talking and laughing and if you don’t have that then somehow you’re doing it wrong.

Worse still is when your employers learn about your lack of family because then they expect you to work every damn holiday because "you’ve got nothing else to do" and expect you to show enthusiasm when they constantly talk about theirs.

 

[Solitary man]

Never mind friends for right now. Is there anyone here who has no, or no cantact with family? I'm a 22yr female and I having a hard time without family to fall back on or call on. The world is a scarry place right now. My friends used to be my family 2yrs ago. But a few severe mental breakdowns and one bad relationship later. I am friendless AND familyless. Can anyone out there relate? Does having no family greatly incresse your risk of having no friends? I am envious of people with large, close, caring families. I see them together and feel more alone.

You are not alone. Both my parents are dead, I'm an only child, I'm also a chronic loner and social recluse without any friends, and what little family I have left are in England and I never see any of them. In fact I don't think they want to know me.

I am really alone in this life, and at times you do get lonely. I cope by exercising, attempting to sustain a healthy diet, and keeping my mind occupied on the internet with sites like this.

Sometimes the loneliness can become close to unbearable, and the temptation to use alcohol to cope with it is sometimes there. but I've learned that alcohol only alleviates the short term effects of loneliness, and in the long term just makes you feel worse by causing depression.

I too am envious of people with lots of friends and family around them, as it is something I've never had. At present my only family is a cat. I'm ******* pathetic.

 

[Peaches]

I really feel for you - I have the blessing/curse of a codependent mother that I had to keep at arm's length all my life, feeling terrible for that all the time, but at least I had someone to listen to me, now she is getting old and I fear the day when she will be gone. Aside from her, there is this aunt who talks to me once every couple weeks, and she is also getting old (and we don't have that much in common), no other relatives. I wonder if remaining completely alone will improve a bit my social skills, and how I will cope. You guys have balls (can you write that in the forum?), even the girls

 

[LonelyInAtl]

Worse still is when your employers learn about your lack of family because then they expect you to work every damn holiday because "you’ve got nothing else to do" and expect you to show enthusiasm when they constantly talk about theirs.

I'm fortunate enough to manage my team so I don't have to worry about that.

 

[Lost Drifter]

I'm fortunate enough to manage my team so I don't have to worry about that.

I so envy that, it gets tiresome having to explain the no family thing sometimes, a lot of people around here see it as a sign of failure and are quick to assume that I must have done something terribly wrong to be in this situation. And of course if I’ve done something wrong then I must be punished, bring on the work!

 

[Tiina63]

I'm fortunate enough to manage my team so I don't have to worry about that.

I so envy that, it gets tiresome having to explain the no family thing sometimes, a lot of people around here see it as a sign of failure and are quick to assume that I must have done something terribly wrong to be in this situation. And of course if I’ve done something wrong then I must be punished, bring on the work!

I hate it when I have to say I have no family either. Generally I will try and avoid letting people know (till I am close to them) because, as you say, they seem to see it as a sign of failure. Or they think I am different because of it.