I'm sitting in my living room typing this out and wondering for the millionth time how I got here?
Maybe it was the pandemic, being unemployed, or switching jobs so often. I'm not sure. During the pandemic, I moved to another state with my boyfriend of almost two years. We didn't really have a lot of money, but we could finance furniture and the things that we needed for our new place. We both eventually found better-paying and steady jobs, so that part got a little easier, but we still struggle financially because we're both bad with money, but we're learning (slowly). We both work fully remote in our jobs. I don't want to go to an office to work. I don't think will solve anything and I think it'll add to our financial burden. We need to get out more in our spare time. We both have anxiety about leaving the house. He doesn't really drive at the moment.
We both see separate therapists to deal with our own personal issues and baggage. At the moment, we basically live as roommates. Although we share a bed, we are not intimate. I don't even remember the last time we were. Since 2019, I have gained so much weight and so has he. We're both morbidly obese and out of shape.
No matter how bad the situation gets, he always sees something positive, which I envy. Cleaning is a real challenge for us. We live in an 800-square-foot duplex with two bedrooms and one bathroom. It shouldn't be that difficult. I don't know what's going to help. We basically wait until someone wants to come over, and then we have this entire weekend of cleaning to do, and it's exhausting. I don't feel like we're always on the same page. Sometimes I feel like I do everything and other times he's there for me and puts in his weight by taking care of the house. We've had countless discussions about being partners and helping each other out. We even took time to write days and times of chores for both of us. So far, we have done nothing.
I will preface all this to say that our place isn't that bad, to where we have mold growing everywhere and roaches coming out of the walls. It's mainly just dirty laundry all over the floor and not vacuuming, not dusting, not doing the dishes in a timely matter. We're not taking out the trash when we're supposed to and not cleaning up the bathroom. If our landlord randomly came over, I can't imagine what he would think. I worry about things like that all the time. We're not doing it on purpose. It's not just the house that we don't have the energy or drive for. We don't take care of ourselves either. It's pathetic, and I feel so ashamed for living like this.
We hardly ever go out. We have our groceries delivered. I didn't use to be like this and neither did he. I don't know what happened or now how to fix it.
Maybe it was the pandemic, being unemployed, or switching jobs so often. I'm not sure. During the pandemic, I moved to another state with my boyfriend of almost two years. We didn't really have a lot of money, but we could finance furniture and the things that we needed for our new place. We both eventually found better-paying and steady jobs, so that part got a little easier, but we still struggle financially because we're both bad with money, but we're learning (slowly). We both work fully remote in our jobs. I don't want to go to an office to work. I don't think will solve anything and I think it'll add to our financial burden. We need to get out more in our spare time. We both have anxiety about leaving the house. He doesn't really drive at the moment.
We both see separate therapists to deal with our own personal issues and baggage. At the moment, we basically live as roommates. Although we share a bed, we are not intimate. I don't even remember the last time we were. Since 2019, I have gained so much weight and so has he. We're both morbidly obese and out of shape.
No matter how bad the situation gets, he always sees something positive, which I envy. Cleaning is a real challenge for us. We live in an 800-square-foot duplex with two bedrooms and one bathroom. It shouldn't be that difficult. I don't know what's going to help. We basically wait until someone wants to come over, and then we have this entire weekend of cleaning to do, and it's exhausting. I don't feel like we're always on the same page. Sometimes I feel like I do everything and other times he's there for me and puts in his weight by taking care of the house. We've had countless discussions about being partners and helping each other out. We even took time to write days and times of chores for both of us. So far, we have done nothing.
I will preface all this to say that our place isn't that bad, to where we have mold growing everywhere and roaches coming out of the walls. It's mainly just dirty laundry all over the floor and not vacuuming, not dusting, not doing the dishes in a timely matter. We're not taking out the trash when we're supposed to and not cleaning up the bathroom. If our landlord randomly came over, I can't imagine what he would think. I worry about things like that all the time. We're not doing it on purpose. It's not just the house that we don't have the energy or drive for. We don't take care of ourselves either. It's pathetic, and I feel so ashamed for living like this.
We hardly ever go out. We have our groceries delivered. I didn't use to be like this and neither did he. I don't know what happened or now how to fix it.
I hope to never be on Hoarders. I've seen that show and people are at their worst. Actually, thank you for bringing that up. It makes me realize that we're not at that point in our lives. I'm going to go gather up all the clothes in the bedroom now. 
. The good news is you're aware where your problems are. And should you and/or your bf want it, there is help available. Sometimes the toughest part is "Where do I start?"![Thomas]](https://cdn.imagearchive.com/alonelylife/data/avatars/s/14/14186.jpg?1631136400){kind=avatar}
