It did not occur to me until recently....

[Azariah]

that you can date someone without:
flirting
calling that person your girlfriend/boyfriend


well...

 

[Finished]

 

[Abstamyous]

I personally prefer "my lovable *****"

 

[ardour]

Not sure what the topic is about, but my first thought is no, you can't. It's a bad sign if the person is unwilling to refer to it as dating or uncomfortable with you calling them girlfriend/boyfriend after a reasonable amount of time has passed. "Uh, this isn't a date, we're just getting to know each"... if you hear anything like that it's best to stop things right there. Women who actually like you wouldn't be saying that kind of thing. That's my experience anyway. Anything other than 100% enthusiasm is 'no'.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Not sure what the topic is about, but my first thought is no, you can't. It's a bad sign if the person is unwilling to refer to it as dating or uncomfortable with you calling them girlfriend/boyfriend after a reasonable amount of time has passed.  "Uh, this isn't a date, we're just getting to know each"... if you hear anything like that it's best to stop things right there. Women who actually like you wouldn't be saying that kind of thing.  That's my experience anyway.  Anything other than 100% enthusiasm  is 'no'.

What is a reasonable amount of time?

 

[Azariah]

I'm 30 and I'm going on a date for the first time in my life on Saturday. She's a church girl so my disciplers said no flirting just getting to know her with tons of respect. Honestly I'm nervous, I hope I don't do or say anything offensive to her or anyone.

I admit its kinda painful being that I was so attached to someone in the past.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I'm 30 and I'm going on a date for the first time in my life on Saturday. She's a church girl so my disciplers said no flirting just getting to know her with tons of respect. Honestly I'm nervous, I hope I don't do or say anything offensive to her or anyone.

I admit its kinda painful being that I was so attached to someone in the past.

I would say that is perfectly reasonable.

 

[ardour]

What is a reasonable amount of time?

 The gist is if things aren't moving forward after some time they aren't going anywhere. And the issue is more about women not wanting to be seen as dating a particular guy when they're seeing him on a regular basis   - it implies a lack of respect and/or low investment.

 

[mgill]

when a women is romantically interested in a man they make it extremely obvious from the get go. if she is not giving him choosing signals then she considers him merely a platonic friend. it is claimed that a women decides within moments of meeting a man if she finds him a suitable intimate partner. sometimes they may even use male validation from someone they are not sexually attracted to as a placeholder until they find a man they are truly attracted to. there are few worse forms of rejection than being friendzoned-again, something i have a plethora of personal experience with.

 

[Finished]

^ The problem is that most guys believe the girl is into them even after a bad date. Guys don't read signals very well.

I'm going on a date

That's fantastic! Try to have fun and don't worry so much about how things turn out.

 

[mgill]

^ The problem is that most guys believe the girl is into them even after a bad date. Guys don't read signals very well.

I'm going on a date

That's fantastic! Try to have fun and don't worry so much about how things turn out.

i would agree but the problem is that many men have never had a women truly interested in them so have not seen both sides of the signals.  when they are atrtacted to a man they make it VERY obvious-just as they do when they are not attracted to him.

 

[TheRealCallie]

^ The problem is that most guys believe the girl is into them even after a bad date. Guys don't read signals very well.

I'm going on a date

That's fantastic! Try to have fun and don't worry so much about how things turn out.

i would agree but the problem is that many men have never had a women truly interested in them so have not seen both sides of the signals.  when they are atrtacted to a man they make it VERY obvious-just as they do when they are not attracted to him.

MANY guys....really?  I seriously doubt that.  So, you agree that guys can't read negative signals from women, but you seem to think that they CAN read positive signals, which are usually much more subtle.....

 

[mgill]

TheRealCallie

^ The problem is that most guys believe the girl is into them even after a bad date. Guys don't read signals very well.

I'm going on a date

That's fantastic! Try to have fun and don't worry so much about how things turn out.

i would agree but the problem is that many men have never had a women truly interested in them so have not seen both sides of the signals.  when they are atrtacted to a man they make it VERY obvious-just as they do when they are not attracted to him.

MANY guys....really?  I seriously doubt that.  So, you agree that guys can't read negative signals from women, but you seem to think that they CAN read positive signals, which are usually much more subtle.....


on the contrary-it's actually the negative signals which are subtle and confusing as women can enjoy a man's company yet not be attracted to him.  on the other hand, choosing signals like touching him, moving closer, playing with her hair, laughing a lot and being focused on everything he says and does are very hard to mistake.  many modern men who are not in the top 20% have been pushed out of the dating market entirely due to OLD.  it was not always like this but there has never been a worse time in history to be an average or below average male.

 

[TheRealCallie]

Except a lot of women play with their hair all the time and sometimes women just laugh because they find something funny, not because they are attracted to a guy. And moving closer could indicate many things. And also, some people are just touchy.

But whatever.
Azariah, if you wish, feel free to bring this up in chat.

 

[4No1]

Ooops, before I came there I was almost sure taht things work on the contrary: women are pushed out due to old/average and so on. I'm a little bit confused now, seems probably it's not about the gender.

My problem is that people don't have a little light turned into green/red. Or at least there could be an unvicoal table of the signals))
Probably I'm under average, but I'm completely bad with the signals: have no idea what to send and how to read. Somtimes I try not to send a lot of the signal I've read about: all theese touching hair(I touch them also because I touch them) because what if a guy would think anything and would be angry and annoyed.
The more I'm interested the worse it gets, I supposed HE would be very very angry with all that or would be afraid(to death, yeah) and would never talk to me anymore and so on.
So if just for a second imagine that sometimes an average human also have such situations, it's awful. Have no idea what to do. Who only invented this signals?

Azariah, good luck to you.

 

[mgill]

Except a lot of women play with their hair all the time and sometimes women just laugh because they find something funny, not because they are attracted to a guy.  And moving closer could indicate many things.  And also, some people are just touchy.

But whatever.
Azariah, if you wish, feel free to bring this up in chat.

this is true but often times the actions are subconcious so women are not even aware of them. there is actual science behind this which i tend to look to instead of random anecdotal examples.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...ny-subtle-ways-women-signal-romantic-interest

 

[ardour]

^ The problem is that most guys believe the girl is into them even after a bad date. Guys don't read signals very well.

I'm going on a date

That's fantastic! Try to have fun and don't worry so much about how things turn out.

i would agree but the problem is that many men have never had a women truly interested in them so have not seen both sides of the signals.  when they are atrtacted to a man they make it VERY obvious-just as they do when they are not attracted to him.

MANY guys....really?  I seriously doubt that.  So, you agree that guys can't read negative signals from women, but you seem to think that they CAN read positive signals, which are usually much more subtle.....

A date would be a rare enough situation for a lot guys, so unless it were an absolute disaster it would easy to jump the gun and assume a  connection that didn't happen.

 

[Abstamyous]

^ The problem is that most guys believe the girl is into them even after a bad date. Guys don't read signals very well.

I'm going on a date

That's fantastic! Try to have fun and don't worry so much about how things turn out.

i would agree but the problem is that many men have never had a women truly interested in them so have not seen both sides of the signals.  when they are atrtacted to a man they make it VERY obvious-just as they do when they are not attracted to him.

MANY guys....really?  I seriously doubt that.  So, you agree that guys can't read negative signals from women, but you seem to think that they CAN read positive signals, which are usually much more subtle.....

A date  would be a rare enough situation for a lot guys, so unless it were an absolute disaster it would easy to jump the gun and assume a  connection that didn't happen.

Especially in a situation where there's a general excitement about the date, but not so much understanding about each other. Very easy to confuse that energy.

 

[TheRealCallie]

^ The problem is that most guys believe the girl is into them even after a bad date. Guys don't read signals very well.

I'm going on a date

That's fantastic! Try to have fun and don't worry so much about how things turn out.

i would agree but the problem is that many men have never had a women truly interested in them so have not seen both sides of the signals.  when they are atrtacted to a man they make it VERY obvious-just as they do when they are not attracted to him.

MANY guys....really?  I seriously doubt that.  So, you agree that guys can't read negative signals from women, but you seem to think that they CAN read positive signals, which are usually much more subtle.....

A date  would be a rare enough situation for a lot guys, so unless it were an absolute disaster it would easy to jump the gun and assume a  connection that didn't happen.

I really don't understand why you and several others here keep saying "a lot" of guys.  First, I don't think it's all THAT many guys.  And second, I'm sorry, but you really need to get over your obsession that this **** doesn't also happen to girls and just as often.  Girls are often morons when it comes to guys and whether or not the guys likes them or dislike them.  And girls are also just as overly dramatic, if not more so, than guys and see **** that isn't there. 
The majority of guys (and girls) gets plenty of dates and if you look at the guys that don't, I think you would see a common factor that the majority of those guys share. 
Some of them just aren't interested or don't want to deal with rejections.  Some of them would rather make excuses and blame others.  And some of them just can't get over their "I"m a loser" attitude to give it a proper go.  Oh and some are just looking for a hot, "trophy wife" and won't even try for anyone else.

 

[HypnoGhost]

^ The problem is that most guys believe the girl is into them even after a bad date. Guys don't read signals very well.

I'm going on a date

That's fantastic! Try to have fun and don't worry so much about how things turn out.

Azariah, Dude just be yourself, chat and have fun! Don't try too hard it's OK to be nervous.

Finished, I agree with you there! I have had gals openly flirt with me and I've not seen it. It's only when they walk away disappointed and my friends say, dude she was flirting with you or dude she wanted you bad!
I'm like huh? Naaaa hahaha