It time for me to leave

[Chris 2]

I been on this site for more than a year, for the first 6 months since I register, I never knew total stranger could be so nice, and this was the first place I would go to when I wake up and the last place before I go to sleep.

But now things have change, this site will never be what it once was, and I don't want anyone telling me otherwise or to get with the program.

I used to think it was "me" but the more I come on here I realize I am still the same person from last year. What this site has help me realize is that I can be myself without feeling guilty when in my heart I know what is right, where I can say what is on my mind, and what I have to say ain't pretty.

I am very tire with all the rude, offensive and lack of care reply by a few of the members here. I am not talking about my thread personality, but other members who post about their depression, loneliness, etc... and they get response like "well if your not gonna do anything, then you deserve to be lonely, or like make fun of the OP threads as a joke, making them feel even more lonelier then they were to start with, and after some confrontation, some jerk decided to say but I was only "joking". This has not happen to any of my threads, but who give these people the ******* right to joke around serious emotional issue anyway? And don't even give me any BS that there will always be some jerk dealing with their anger problem, because as I recall as a member here, there were no "jerk" when I register here last year.

There are still a few great people here like Bluey, Samba101, Naleena, gothmother, evewasframed, Satyr, ragingbull, sanal, and many more whom I have not met, and for those I wish them the best of luck. However despite this, I question decision conducted by the mod here. I have met a few A Hole mods in the chat room, people who are a joke and a disgrace to this site yet are mod, and it is just unbelievable.

I also didn't realize that there were so many hard headed snob nose punk girls on here. I have been call an "idiot" among other things in the chat, things that people I use to know would never have said to me. I don't know what has happen, but everyone here today seem to have their own agenda, and that this site is becoming more real life, thus people are dick. There use to be a fine line between real life and this site. There was a wall between the two, and everyday it seem the wall is cracking piece by piece and now people here seem like people in real life. This is no longer a site for lonely people, it seem like it only a facade as the only genuine thing left is its name and the history left behind it.

With all that is said and done, I am very honor to be the fortunate few to have witness and experience the joy of people who care enough for me, and help me through my hard times. As you can see by my reputation, that these people are now "guest" because they are no longer part of this site, and it is a shame. It was a sign that I have overstay my welcome here. Nice, caring, warm-hearted guys and gals leaving was a sign that I should join them as well, because that is who I am.

I do not want to be associated with a few of the members here, and them alone is enough for me to leave. I do not want to be a hard nose ******** taking out their frustration and anger on other, so that they can feel mighty of themselves. I also don't like people telling me that I am a "whiner" and that I don't do anything about it. God knows how much I have overcome to just be living each and every day, to wake up in the morning, to pretend nothing is wrong so that I still have some energy left to study, to work out, all to better myself. But what is worst than all of that is the false accusation of me. The misunderstanding and mis judgment off who I am by my fellow members. I did not come to this site to be disrespected, to have to fend off for myself nor did I come to this site to see people leave, to see that they feel hurt, and to know it all too well.

Don't worry about me, I will be fine, a bit struggling with life but I will survive as I have been since the day I step foot on earth's soil. I will probably be back in a few years from now, hopefully I don't have to and things will change for me, and I hope that that within those few years this site could be back where it use to be. I will miss some of you guys, and I'll be here for another few days in case I get any pm or reply, and then I will disappear altogether.


Chris

 

[Unacceptance]

Sorry for being a dick. I can't help it.

 

[somniloquy]

I just joined the website today, but it's a pity that you have to leave under the circumstances you are leaving under. Best wishes for the future.

 

[VanillaCreme]

Sorry for being a dick. I can't help it.

What he said.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Geez chris you called me a bunch of names and were pretty down
right mean to me.

I'm the mode in the chat you're talking about Eh ?
I don't know who you are or who you think you are or what fucken
problems you might think you have...what fucken color skin you have.
How much or how little you have.
What you belive in or don't belive in. What you think.
Most important...just becuase I change new member's status.
YOU DON'T TREAT ME LIKE THAT. Keep'in it real...

I havn't seriously banned anyone yet...lol

Okay, usually people that writes "I'm a leaving thread", usually don't
leave....I might be wrong.

 

[samba101]

Hey Chris well I'll be sad to see you go I enjoy your company in chat, I wish you well and bon voyage.

 

[Estreen]

Well, I wish you the best of luck Chris. I hope you eventually get the help you need or find some way of finding peace with yourself. One thing you're going to have to come to terms with sooner or later though, is that maybe sometimes it is you, and not others. You're not ready to look within yourself to try to change and you let your depression magnify things tenfold. You do not have the "worst life ever", although I'm sure it's not the easiest by far. I'm not saying this to be mean or petty, I'm saying this as a constructive criticism in means to help you, however I apologize if it's a bit harsh. Having been there myself I would have no right to look down upon you. I just hope that one day you'll be able to progress forward and feel better as time goes on.

Blesses on ya.

~ Estreen

 

[itsmylife]

bye Chris hope you find what you're looking for.

 

[SilentThinker]

Bon voyage.Best wishes to all that you do.

 

[Caesium]

So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen my friend.

 

[Bluecrab]

Chris, thank you for saying what I am not able to say.

I wish I had been here before the real world polluted the forum.

I think you are on your way to living a happier life, along with the other supportive people on here.

Congrats on speaking up for yourself and others. And, for taking that first hard step to making good change.

Be well, and I hope peace is with you always.

Oh, P.S. Check your pm’s!

 

[LonelyDragon]

I've gone back a couple times and scanned through your posts. To be honest I do see a change. People started telling you what you needed to hear rather than what you wanted to hear. They started telling you the truth rather than just being all hugs and pity.

As far as people being rude. Well...

Because girls in general are **** up, they don't have any moral, and are too spoil to actually care about their future at a young age.

...I wonder why anyone might come across as rude after reading that. I didn't reply to you or that thread directly because of how much it pissed me off. Trust me, I wanted to, and I'm not even female.

You need help Chris. And not the kind that you're going to get on an online forum having people coddle you. You need one on one - face to face help. But you're going to have to get out and get it. I hope you are able to someday.

 

[Steel]

I agree with Lonesome Dragon.

People aren't being blunt with you because they want you to be miserable, they do it because you won't listen. I'm not someone who sugar coats my advice - and things won't get better for you until you see where the problem lies. For that, I suggest you invest in a mirror.

You have said AWFUL things to people on both the forum and in chat, and then complained when people became irritated with you. It is not some one-sided situation. Before you go, I suggest you read back some of your forum threads, and posts.. and see the face that you have presented to the world.

All the best. I hope you overcome your personal demons.

 

[Gothmother]

Sometimes, being blunt with someone who is feeling down to start with, can push them further down.
Not everyone can think beyond how they feel at times and somtimes real life and this lfe do cross paths, somthing that is unavoidable but entirely human!
Dont be mad at how it can be at times Chris, but use what you have learned and take it away with you and use it constructively and gain from it.
I wish you well on your path of discovery and hope that you will in time find the peace in your life that you so badly seek.
Blessed be.
GothMother.

 

[blueindia2681]

Don't leave us =(

 

[Skorian]

I think some people need to accept those who don't want to be "fixed". But instead need caring, compassion, and just someone to listen.

 

[eh?]

Peace!

I have to say, to be honest, from the short time that I have been here, it doesn't seem like this type of thing is for you. You seem to get overly sensitive at times and then lash out at others.
And it really doesn't seem like you come for advice but really just come to vent. That's fine and all but you should expect people to be rude when you vent and say(type) the wrong thing.

I don't think think I am one of the ones that has been rude(to anyone) but if I have, I am sorry you feel that way.

 

[Sanal]

Cya dude... and Happy Birthday

 

[Hexirius]

Chris, I understand you want to go. I've seen the bashing on you in the chatroom. I don't know why ppl are so cruel towards you. I haven't really been around for 5 months or so, but a quick search showed me that you're always honest in your posts and you bring it the way you think it. You mostly sound pessimistic, which apparently isn't appreciated by most of the active members here atm. It seems like they are tired of you and your dramatic posts, they want you to change your point of view, while you don't want to, like skorian said, some ppl don't want to be fixed. Why would you need fixing anyway, mainly I think you're just misunderstood. That might explain why you experienced it differently a year ago, other ppl back then. I heard some ppl say you said some nasty things to them. Although I don't approve of that, I believe everyone deserves a second chance, but it seems like those things keep being used against you. I wish you could just start over with a clean slate.

If you do decide to leave...

you will be back, I know it

 

[Satyr]

This is not a place for anyone to "get better". I learned that the hard way.

At it's best, it's a place where you can post your problems and people can respond with words of encouragement or advice. At it's worst, it's a place where people can become irritated and attack you. I've seen both sides of the coin.

Most of the time, it's just a bunch of people masturbating with text...and yes, I admit I have participated many times in the big online circle jerk.

IMO, posting every day and watching this forum like a hawk is a mistake. I've done it and it got old. Take breaks, come back occasionally and post something...move on for awhile and repeat. To me, that seems like the best way to use it...or ANY forum or chat room for that matter.

This place isn't the world. It's not even a small part of it. Life doesn't end when someone here says something ****** or ignores you. Once you stop caring about that kind of thing, it starts to get a lot easier. I learned that the hard way as well.