It's too much for me to handle, I will let the darkness consume me.

[LonesomeFellow]

Every day is an emotional roller coaster. The smallest things bring me all the way up and all the way down. Right now it's the long ride down and I feel like garbage.

Will I go back up -- yes, definitely. Going down is a terrible feeling and makes me want to do nothing except stare at the walls all day. It's easier to give up on everything and falling deep into the abyss.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

What you resist persist....

Yes, when its at 6 o clock.
Its a death and rebirth cycle..
When at midnight your at the peak

That's looking at it on a 2 deminsion plane.

This cycle can also make an upward spiral.
Can let the bottom come up and hit you too.

Don't worry...youre not a narcisis.
Healhty poeple gose through reconstructions
st the core...many, many times in a life time.

---

Try Googleing The Wheel of Life.

 

[whispers]

If you can, try to make your enemy a productive one. Alot of things come from darkness, some of the best art... poetry, painting, sculpting ,music etc. It is only after seeing darkness that you can appreciate the light. But while you are in the abyss, exploit it. try to understand it, write about it, let the feelings flow out of your body, imagine a wave of releif every time. So many things can be done, without too much effort, because i know motivation is low in these periods.

I think you are not so different than the rest of the world, i work with people, and realise that 98% of them are depressed or disturbed and out of them 95% pretend they are ok. Hope you feel better soon.
By the way, in one of my dark moments, i painted a princess (me) and a wolf who has ripped out her heart and is eating it, pretty bloody painting, not one of my best, but on of my most liberating.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Have you tried to seek help? Is there any triggers for your mood swings? Have you thought about medication or counseling?

 

[LonesomeFellow]

Medication and counseling aren't for me.

 

[Ak5]

Has a psychologist/psychiatrist evaluated you as bipolar?

There are medications that work.

 

[LonesomeFellow]

Has a psychologist/psychiatrist evaluated you as bipolar?

There are medications that work.

I haven't seen anyone.

 

[Ak5]

You should, if it's a cycle of happiness/depression as days pass, it could be bipolar.

 

[LonesomeFellow]

You should, if it's a cycle of happiness/depression as days pass, it could be bipolar.

Isn't bipolar disorder much more severe than general moodiness?

 

[Ak5]

Yes, but I don't know you lol. Only a professional can accurately evaluate.

 

[LonesomeFellow]

Yes, but I don't know you lol. Only a professional can accurately evaluate.

I'm pretty sure I'm not bipolar, but I'm also sure my opening post was too melodramatic.

I'm generally a depressed person who has upswings of good moods, and I know what causes them. I also know without these triggers I fall down hard. Overall, I'd rather have something stable or to keep me stable to prevent the swings.

Meh, I don't know why I made this thread -- it feels like I wasted everyone else's time...sorry.

 

[roguewave]

I have written on this site about my distrust of therapists but I do think it may be beneficial for you to get a diagnosis (you don't have to go through with therapy, just tell them you want to be diagnosed based on your moods/symptoms). When I did this I sought out the opinion of several people. After finding out what I am dealing with here, I have investigated the many ways I can seek treatment (none of which currently include talk therapy).

Also, as far as I know, bipolar is characterized by slowly shifting mood trends that usually swing from a depressive mood to a manic one. This cycle happens slowly, not from day to day. I don't think there needs to be a depressive period to diagnose bipolar but an identifiable period of mania is crucial to diagnosis.

This is why I think it's so important to be diagnosed by a professional because you don't want to start self-diagnosing various things or taking our word for it. Both can be tempting when you want to find an answer.

---

\

Yes, but I don't know you lol. Only a professional can accurately evaluate.

I'm pretty sure I'm not bipolar, but I'm also sure my opening post was too melodramatic.

I'm generally a depressed person who has upswings of good moods, and I know what causes them. I also know without these triggers I fall down hard. Overall, I'd rather have something stable or to keep me stable to prevent the swings.

Meh, I don't know why I made this thread -- it feels like I wasted everyone else's time...sorry.

No way man. This thread is NOTHING compared to some of the things we see posted here. You aren't wasting our time. I'm glad you posted

 

[LonesomeFellow]

I'm pretty sure I'm not bipolar -- just depressed with some things I do bringing the mood up, and without those thigns I bring the mood down. My overall problem is being depressed.

Ugh, can someone delete this useless thread I made?

 

[roguewave]

I'm pretty sure I'm not bipolar -- just depressed with some things I do bringing the mood up, and without those thigns I bring the mood down. My overall problem is being depressed.

Ugh, can someone delete this useless thread I made?

You can message a mod to delete it.

The industry considers depression to be the result of a chemical imbalance in the brain but they aren't very good at looking at what exactly caused that imbalance.

When I get depressed I take it as a warning sign that something in my life isn't on the right track and that I need to reevaluate.
Some things to consider when trying to find the root of your depression:
How are your relationships?
How is your overall physical health? Diet? Exercise?
Do you have specific concerns at this time like worrying about money or family members?
Is there some future event you are dreading?
Have you lost someone you were close to either to death or circumstance?
Are you struggling with your personal beliefs/values?
Are you not be challenged enough in day to day life or are you being challenged too much to the point that you are over whelmed?
How is your self esteem?

These are some things I like to ask myself to get a deeper insight into my current state. Sometimes journaling about them is helpful.

 

[Public_Enemy]

Chemical imbalance? More like society and system imbalance. All of us are the problem and all of us are the solution.

 

[LonesomeFellow]

Chemical imbalance? More like society and system imbalance. All of us are the problem and all of us are the solution.

I agree with you.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

For me it was something very simple.
My diet...vitimins deficientcy.
I didnt comsume enough the type ffoodor vitamin B.
B6 and B12.
I was takinh mulity vitamins...but upon
Reading the label closer...it didnt have sny
Vitamin B.

So I started taking B6,B12 and Saint John wort.
After a couple of weeks my mood was stable
Upon awakening everyday or ididnt feel down.

At the point in time my life situation wasn't
Good at all. I was saperated from Renae
And everything was fallig part.
A very stressful and hsrd times.

Biy my moods being more stable.
It was essier for me to stsy positive.
I also did a lot of positive self talk

---

Maling ny gradftude list.
Maling a list of 100 pozitve affirmations.
Positive. Viuaizstions.
Allowing myself to feel great..as if i got everything out of
Life already....
I BASICALLY WORKRD ON MYSELF.

These are ideas j got from self help boks or
Recovery literature.
I WORKED THEM..

IT ALSO ALLOW ME TO TAKE ACTOONS
AND WORK THROUGH A LOT OF ISSUES
RENAE AND I HAVE.

Renae and I are together again.
Our lines arnt perfect.
Im hoping eere going on thr
Up swing and it eill bettrr

---

VITAMIN B6, B12 and saint John wort.
Helps maintain good moofs...
Our brain neefs it.

So before you go off the deep end....
Are you eating right?
Are you doing physical exercise?
Basic healthy living...
Taking care of your body...
The basic of loving yourself.

---

Yeah....vitamins deficientcy is chemical embalance.

Taking psych meds...isnt gping to change
our poor eating habits or lack of physical
Exercise.
Exercise lowers depression.

 

[SophiaGrace]

Everyone offering their opinions on what depression is caused by.

This is the usual state of things.

 

[roguewave]

But wouldn't you say that depression can be caused by different things in different people?

 

[SophiaGrace]

But wouldn't you say that depression can be caused by different things in different people?

Yes but i think it breaks down to either situational (environment, cognitive distortions, behavior), or biological.

If it's situational, and you apply an antidepressant to it, it's like a band-aid, the wound is still festering underneath it.

If it's biological and you try to change the situation, that won't work either. No matter what you do, you'll still be depressed.

That's my take on it at least.