Just a rant

[JJW]

My son's dog busted into his patio door screen and broke the lock— a cheap plastic thing... the lock, not the dog. So I fixed it. Not a big deal. I added a screw where a plastic nub broke off so the catch would swing again. But you know, removal, consideration, alteration, beautification, installation... it took a couple hours. Do I get a thank you, dad? Nope. "It's stiff and hard to work."

I didn't change anything regarding the fit, so if it's different blame the dog.

Never any appreciation.

 

[Zen28]

I'd assure him not to worry, the invoice will include a 12 month guarantee

 

[user 139760]

isn't that what kids are for? Taking things for granted every time you make an effort they should be doing instead of you? lol.

 

[JJW]

Yeah, I guess.

 

[SecondStarTotheRight]

I'm sorry I laughed (at "the lock, not the dog").
I'd make him fix the damn thing himself... next time, next problem or project. Or had him help, alongside. To learn how to do it, and more importantly, to appreciate the effort and process.

 

[JJW]

I'm sorry I laughed (at "the lock, not the dog").
I'd make him fix the damn thing himself... next time, next problem or project. Or had him help, alongside. To learn how to do it, and more importantly, to appreciate the effort and process.

That's a wonderful sentiment, but when I force him to help with a chore he makes it even harder just so I won't ask him again. He rejects me as a teacher. One simple example: He was trying to slice an onion and complaining about it not working to his satisfaction. He held the small end and sliced off the big end. If you slice off the small end there is room to hold at the big end. I tried to tell him but he interrupted me, "You can't order me how to do things!" and stormed into his room.

He harbors a deep anger. He blames me for all his troubles. I know the reason for his anger, but he and his mom will not hear me on that. It is easier to blame me than to face that someone they love was evil.

 

[SecondStarTotheRight]

Interesting. What a challenge, though.
I read it's the person that feels safest that gets all the anger. So if a child, or anyone really, is hurt and angry, lost or insecure, they tend to give the most attitude to the person they know will not hurt and betray them, or stop loving them. They have pent up feelings, rage, they need to release, and feel unsafe showing it to someone weak... someone who may have even caused the pain and rage... because they don't trust that person to be able to handle it.

 

[JJW]

they tend to give the most attitude to the person they know will not hurt and betray them, or stop loving them.

I'd never looked at it that way. Some good done today.