9006 said:
I think sometimes it's used as bait from women who don't think they have a chance at a relationship with you. So from the start it's not just 'no-strings sex'.
Yes, I believe some women do that and it's the stupidest mistake they make. You don't use sex to get a relationship. If you want a relationship you get that first, then have sex. And they have to communicate to a man,what they want before agreeing to have sex. That's how I do it now that I'm older and wiser. I was stupid at age 21. Too many men want it the other way around, they would rather put the cart before the horse, have sex with a woman first and then
maybe have a relationship with her, putting the woman in a very vulnerable position emotionally with probably an 80% chance of being dumped.
I don't blame men, they're acting according to their own nature. It's a woman's job to take responsibility by not agreeing to a FWB or no strings attached sex arrangement in the first place unless that's what they really want. And if there is no communication what-so-ever before sex and they have no clue what the deal is, it's their own fault for allowing themselves to walk into a fog of confusion. I learned that lesson in my early 20s. I was infatuated with a guy and I tried to make him fall for me by continuing to have sex with him. It didn't work, I got burned bad and I wasted 10 months of my life. He only wanted me for sex, it was FWB but he didn't tell me that but his actions spoke louder. There are always exceptions but in general a man's brain does not work like a woman's and sex will not make him more emotionally invested but it can make a woman more emotionally invested because she releases high levels of oxytocin, the same hormone that causes a woman to bond with her baby. Men don't have this issue. It isn't fair. Women, if you want sex with love and commitment you have to get him emotionally invested in you before sex. He's not going to like it but it's YOUR body. That said it's YOUR body so if you can handle no strings attached fun and you're o.k. with that then go ahead. Take control of your own body. Women control sex. Men just do whatever it takes to get it from them as soon as they can get it, although I must say If I could meet a man who will have me waiting to have sex with him for a change I'd be very intrigued. Men are usually just fine with FWB, although there may be some very few exceptions.
Bottom line, if you can't handle FWB don't do it. If you can and you want this arrangement then go ahead. For me, it's not a benefit, it's emotional self-destruction. I'd rather be celibate or use a vibrator.
