kiss the world goodbye tonight

[Kahisa]

this is stupid, this is not a reason to die
but now i can stop killing myself in my mind again and again each day
and i would no longer suffer from some happy dreams
over dosed alprazolam just now, i dont know, it might work and it might not, it never worked before anyway
was punching kicking the wall
feeling stupid, thrown away like yesterday's newspaper again.
my throat is dry, none is around but i have to keep my volume down
this s a student residence, i ve been away from home for 6 years
i make my friends feel good
but who i trusted ruined me again and again
every time i got hurt
i tried to accept and move on
and trusted more the next time
only opened myself to more idiotic stuff
i can't stop me from believing in people
believing in their scencere hope and wishes
but i can't do this anymore
hit my limit
i have nothing more to give
20 years wasted
love
why love has to turn into indifference and hatred
and this craziness
never gonna end

i read the suicide preventing stuff
you people are cool coming up with all these helps
i can withstand many things, including physical pain or whatever, i can go to work while being seriously sick
but i think this is it
and dont want a future
i might have a brain to succeed in career
i might be able to help somebody if i live on
but i dont wish for it
because i ve taken out too much of my soul this time
too much of it goes into this single person
who doesnt really know what's going on with me
or who doesnt care anyway
the shell has to crack

this HAS TO END DAMN IT...
i ve made this sound as mild as possible
i dont want nobody to make fun of me
i m not some attention seeking idiot
dont be a hypocrite giving me a 'hand' just to push me down later on
gonna explode
too much blood in me
lol
marching right into hell i guess
if there is one

was actually thinking about send them a msg before i do everything
since they can actually be on time carving out my organs for transplant
ahahaha
damn singapore government
suck me dry


leave your words to my mail [email protected]
flaming is welcomed too, since i dont give a **** about nothing any more, i ll laugh at you while you re laughing at me.
all freaking problems solved
so relieved
no longer need to wait for some ******* permission to die.
i m a mistake of your freaky marriage mom and dad!
kids in your family all end up like this
i ll never escape this!
ahaha =D

just laugh harder and harder
remember this . laugh. ugly or not just laugh!

no more 'last words' just let me count the remaining hours.

 

[Bluey]

Well at least you have a sense of umar That is a nice poem but I hope your not thinking of suicide. If you are then you need to call someone, any one. A self help line.

This should be in the Express yourself forum but guests are not permeated to post in there so am going to leave it hear just in case you wont to reply to it

OH and welcome Kahisa and I hope you stick around, You well see there is a lot that feel like you. And if you go hear You well see moor poetry and stuff

 

[Guest]

move it wherever you want, 50 cuts on my left wrist i m yet to die damn it...

 

[lonelyloser]

wow. I feel the exact same way. so numb that nothing can affect me at all.

 

[Bluey]

If you have hurt your self you do realy need to phone are call for help.

 

[lonelyloser]

What are they gonna do? Make u feel better for like 2 minutes? Then what happens after that?

 

[Bluey]

If he/she has lost a lot of blood it could be serous. Also the cuts can get infected

 

[mink]

What are they gonna do? Make u feel better for like 2 minutes? Then what happens after that?

Making you feel better for that 2 minutes could be the turning point for the better in life. But also for the worse. Either way, you never know what's in store for you in the future, unless you step up for it and keep going.

 

[Bluey]

Well said mink

 

[lonelygirl]

Please, my friends.

Suicide is a lie.

You have to deal with this world while you're alive, but you'll have to deal with the next world when you die.

Ever read Shakespeare's Hamlet...TO BE OR NOT TO BE?

That is the question!

What dreams may come....

That is the question!

Life IS worth living. Life CAN be easy and fun. If you are in a bad situation, there is ALWAYS a solution. ALL problems have solutions. Sometimes when you are deeply in pain you can't see the way out, and you feel trapped.

You may need a counselor to help you find your way out of the maze. If you can't afford a counselor, go to a local church or synagogue. Don't be ashamed. These people (clergy) their JOB is to HELP THE WORLD and to help people who are suffering. They will either help you find a counselor or you can just come and see them in their office and tell them what is on your mind.

Please, life can be MUCH BETTER if you just refuse to give up!

 

[lonelyloser]

I hope I come back in my next life as an ant or a lizard. Being human is just too painful and depressing.

 

[lonelygirl]

Lonely,

Ants are pretty boring. Wouldn't you think that humans can do much more exciting stuff than ants? We can listen to brilliant music like Mozart; we can look at fabulous paintings like Van Gogh; we can travel to exotic lands and ride camels near the Great Pyramids or walk the Great Wall of China.

Life is an adventure! Humans can feel great pain, loneliness, and suffering. But we are also capable of great love, kindness, and compassion! When we stop our navel-gazing and look outward at the world, seeking a need and filling it, we raise our self-esteem, escape loneliness, and make the world a better place, all at once.

 

[lonelyloser]

That's true. But it's too bad we always focus on the negative stuff. I don't know how many ants are suicidal, but I bet you the percentage is lower than in humans. I have felt great love in my lifetime. But that was in the past. Now, I'm trapped and there's nothing I can do about it. The end.

 

[lonelyheartsxx]

I seriously think about suicide everyday, but then I keep hearing I'll go to hell, so now I don't know what the **** to do!

 

[SadRabbit]

Haha, actually i quite agree on suicide but...hummm dudes n babes of this forum...think of the pain man...is it worth it......=( and after you die, who's gonna pity you...Think of it this way, they will laugh at you!

 

[lonelyloser]

I seriously think that hell would be better than my life right now. So I'm not afraid of that at all. Seeing stuff like the Great Wall of China does nothing if you feel like you're in a bottomless pit. Let's be real here.

 

[Qui]

I think I understand you...
perhaps you then might be able to understand me?
I cut so that I can feel something
because sometimes I think that there is no way that I
could hurt that bad without something being physically wrong
with me, so I use it as a focus to relieve
all the pain I have from life inside me...
I'm so scared of living, of waking up tomorrow and still being me,
but I have never had the motivation to change my life
and I'm too afraid of being forgotten to ever die,
so perhaps I never will.
I simply haven't the courage
to do anything but stand here and let the world tear me appart.
I respect you for your will to change
and I hope that you can find peace.

 

[Guest]

"But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscover'd country from whose bourn
No traveller returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;"

I think about suicide a lot too. I try to convince myself of reasons to live. I continue to remember that I had love in my life once (3 years ago) and how badly I want it again. I refuse to die alone. The prospect of love is the only thing holding me to this world. And I've thought about hurting myself too. Sometimes the pain just needs a way out it seems. Years ago I never understood why people would do such seemingly stupid and pointless things. But after all the hell I've been through over the past few years I understand perfectly. Sometimes things get so bad you just can't hurt anymore...and you want to hurt so badly.

Try to remember love, everyone. Also remember how many people have ****** with you in your life. They put you down, they mocked you, the hurt you, they took things away from you, and they betrayed you. They left you all alone. Don't let them win.

Always remember what one of my favorite artists, Eddie Vedder, said on the matter:

"You kill yourself and you make a big old sacrifice and try to get your revenge. That all you're gonna end up with is a paragraph in a newspaper. In the end, it does nothing. Nothing changes. The world goes on and you're gone. The best revenge is to live on and prove yourself."

He said this about one of his songs ("Jeremy"), which was about a true story of a kid who killed himself in front of his classroom. (See the video: )

But if there is one thing that really gets me through tough moments its the song "Be Yourself" by Audioslave. (See the video here: )

Just listen to the lyrics real close.

Hope that all helped.

 

[That Guy]

Oops, forgot to log in. That last one was me, fellas.

 

[Guest]

please please don't kill yourself, I am begging u not to put your family and friends to put themselves through the agony of missing you everyday, I am sure there is someone you cares about you , someone, any amount of people who would miss you, don't do it, there are people who can help, I hope to God you change your mind xx