Bulma, I think you're missing my point as well. I fail to see how "high pitched voice and talked with a lisp" translates to the apprentice's sex life. For example, in my life I've known people with all sorts of mental handicaps - some, like my uncle who has downs syndrome, were very noticeable; some, like a coworker at my mother's job, you couldn't even tell was actually suffering from slight retardation. In the coworker's case, the only trait indicative of his mental health was the fact that he spoke with a
high pitched voice and talked with a lisp except for when he got angry - then his voice deepened to a baritone level.
There, not gay at all, but to anyone with the same mindset as Bob's journeyman, he would've been marked as a huge, flaming queer. He would've been marked by you as "acting gay," had I not told you just now that he was retarded. And all his coworkers, not having known that this man's brain was simply wired differently, teased him
relentlessly, calling him a ***, asking if his boyfriend was going to pick him up, starting fights and then getting him in trouble. Eventually, one day, the guy went nuts with rage and beat the living **** out of the last coworker that tried to pick on him.
So, there are a few things I'd like to make from this example. Firstly,
no you should not be fired for acting effeminately. Which, basically, is what it sounds like you mean by saying "acting gay," because really, there is no way to "act gay" in a workplace except to either flirt with your male coworkers (which no one did in either of these examples) or to bring your boyfriend to work and **** him on your boss' desk. And, on that note, I'd like to point out that you're seeing things that are not there.
So no, you should not be doing both. But all things being equal, you should be waiting until after company time to be hitting on people of the opposite sex as well. There's a ton of straight guys acting like serial rapists, who should definitely be disciplined.
No one even alluded to anything of the sort. No one even mentioned sex. We are talking about people who are ostracized just for
appearing a way that deviates from their gender role, gay or not. If
anyone were to hit on
anyone during work hours, gay or straight, then that person should be penalized for it. Bar none.
Second, it only proves that there is no way to tell if someone is gay based on their outward appearance and manner of speech.
So, there is no such thing as acting gay. At best, you could get away with calling it "acting like the opposite gender," and, coworkers' humiliation and ridicule aside, that is no basis for a contract termination - again, it's not 1950.
Third, you're not understanding that these folks behave in manners that are literally second nature to them.
There is no on or off switch. I can personally attest to the judgment being passed on these people as I have been called a butch, dyke, and lesbian - all things I do not identify myself as - merely for the fact that I speak bluntly and sometimes in a deeper tone than your "average American woman" model. People in the workplace are suspected of (and then given hell for) being gay for much, much less.
It is just inexcusable and cannot be in any way justified. However, you are perpetuating the "gay people act feminine" stereotype by actually believing and spreading that one can spot a person that "acts gay". Your example using Mark Ballas only proves my point - there is no such thing as acting gay!
And, before I get back to your post, I'd like to point out that perhaps you mean behaving flamboyantly. In which case, again, not necessarily gay, even if intolerant people can't stomach it.
Now, back to your post...
Being yourself is a luxury, not a necessity. If you find yourself working at a nice cushy job where everyone's nice to everyone, sure. But it sounds like you're not.
Not only is it a necessity, it's a god-given right clad in an iron suit I like to call the Bill of Rights. Perhaps you don't understand the mental damage it can do a person to suppress their natural behavior. I don't mean standing at the water cooler trying not to check out all the same-sex coworkers. I mean standing in front of a mirror every day practicing speaking in a lower or higher pitched voice, speaking without a lisp, keeping a masculine (or more feminine, for women) posture or facial expression, taking all kinds of extra steps to smudge out the traits that make you an individual and suppress the habits that came to you naturally. No company policy can override our right to just
be.
Just to clarify, here, are you understanding that even the smallest of innocent gestures, even an inflection in one's voice, can make a person think you're gay?
Moving on, I'd also like to point out that
none of your examples are exactly good arguments in this matter. We're not talking about a boss harrassing a skinny dude to lift weights. We're not talking about the favoritism a male boss has for female employees over male employees that has only been present since the dawn of penises everywhere. In neither of those situations is someone telling you to suppress your natural, core being because IT DISGUSTS HIM. This is not a matter of just dealing with a ****** boss or coworker - it's a matter of losing one's total identity because of the bigotry that goes on in these industries. Yes, it's that big. And not everyone can just up and quit their job, you know. They have themselves and often even families to take care of and companies don't hand out jobs like candy - especially in industries that are known for their homophobic tendencies.
ajdass1 said:
I'd like to point out that this is a networking thread, not a debate thread.
Absolutely right. What's say you and I go hang out by the water cooler? (hello)
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