Loneliness is

[Calliope]

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Sci Fi,  I give up!

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[TheLoadedDog]

I'm going to posit an unpopular opinion here. I don't think loneliness is necessarily such a bad thing. It is a question of semantics. Talk about loneliness, and people will gush "oh, that's terrible!" But call it solitude, and suddenly it seems better.

I started a thread on autism here a while back. It didn't go well. But anyway....

I do not claim to be Mr Asperger's. If I'm on the spectrum, it is mild. I know Aspies who physically cannot handle loud noises, bright lights etc. If I took one to a nightclub. they would physically be unable to walk in the door. I could walk in the door. I could handle the nightclub environment - but I'd have a **** time. You'll find me in a library or a museum, not a nightclub. And I may well be neurotypical. Plenty of people just don't like **** like nightclubs.

Which brings me back to solitude. It can actually be a nice place to be. I like my own company (this is useful, as I be a crazy ******, so only I can put up with myself). I can be very social, I work in a huge facility with several hundred people. I like most of 'em. But after an eight hour shift with them, there is nothing better than coming home to my flat (I live alone) and hearing that door latch behind me. Captain of my own ship.

It's not loneliness. It is blissful solitude. Because I know the next day I'm going to have to do it all again.

I'm not saying loneliness is all roses. It ain't. It can suck ferociously. But look for the good side. There is one. There really is.

And of all the many and varied message boards I've been on over the last twenty years, strangely, ALL is one of the most social. Think about that.

 

[erifeulb]

Loneliness is living in the wrong environment.
Never allow anyone to determine what happens within you.
Seek a new environment - create it or move to it.

When you stop learning, you start dying.
Most people will never realise you as a life that is not their own.
People will always want and try to make what is yours to be theirs - Their ways, their views, their perceptions, their life.
Your life is your own and no one else's.
What you choose to do is your choice.

Everyone's goal for their life is to be happy, to have joy, to have pleasure.
Happiness, joy and pleasure can be good or bad.
Don't let your happiness suffer for someone who will allow it.
Don't let your happiness suffer by someone who will allow it.

Peace does not exist while you allow thoughts of more than your own perception.
Death is unknown.
Death does not guarantee god, peace, joy, bliss.
Don't waste your energy thinking of it or the peace or bliss that may or may not exist.

Don't use energy to believe in what is unknown.
Use energy to enjoy what is known and find what is unknown.

Seek your own joys in life.
Live your own ways.

Everything you perceive is inside you.
What you see, hear, touch, taste, feel, think is all yours.

What I know I know. What I don't know I don't know.

 

[Wintermute]

I'm going to posit an unpopular opinion here.  I don't think loneliness is necessarily such a bad thing.  It is a question of semantics.  Talk about loneliness, and people will gush "oh, that's terrible!"  But call it solitude, and suddenly it seems better.

Words have nuance and the choice of which to use can be important in conveying meaning. Loneliness implies that one desires companionship of some sort but that it is lacking whereas solitude would imply that one seeks to be alone. Under that definition the two are not the same because the context is not the same.

I would agree that being alone is not inherently a negative statement on its own.

 

[Joey Bones]

Feeling like no one cares.

 

[user 139760]

"Never give up. NEVER surrender".

--Commander Peter Quincy Taggart

 

[erifeulb]

Rant.

Loneliness is better than having to deal with head games from people on a daily basis.

 

[TheLoadedDog]

True about the nuances of the two words. I was painting them as the same, but there is a subtle yet important difference.

 

[ManitobaBrit70]

"Loneliness is not being alone, its the feeling that no one cares"

 

[constant stranger]

Yes of course, loneliness and being alone aren't the same thing.
Two definitions of loneliness I've read here are as good as any others I've encountered: That loneliness is the feeling that no one cares and that loneliness is not sharing what really matters with anyone.
By those definitions I'm pretty lonely and always have been.
I only have one personal relationship. And that person has a pretty active life. OK, I'm part of her life....her sister tells me that I'm an important part of her life.....so I don't make a nuisance of myself. But it's a sobering realization to know that her company is a lot bigger of a deal to me than my company is to her.
I still think I'm lucky. So here's another piece of the loneliness jigsaw puzzle: Being lonely means willingness to give up a bit of pride.

 

[ladyforsaken]

Yeah, like what LoadedDog said.

I embrace my solitude, but at times it can turn into loneliness in short spurts for me and that's when I feel really empty, alone and detached from everyone else.

 

[san_te]

wanting fulfilment from another because I haven't found it in myself.

 

[Tealeaf]

In other words, a lack of an adequate (whatever that means for the individual) connection to the world around them past just existing in it, eating food, pooping, sleeping, making words.

 

[san_te]

I don't know. I'm just repeating off what my mind understood from listening and reading what other people say. If I look at nature I just have to live and I would consider it life. If I look at what others say I have to be something that is mainly made up from their perception. If I look at my own view it loses meaning because there is a lot of conflict with others opinions. So maybe my loneliness is me giving up on telling people I hear what I hear I see what I see I feel what I feel I sense what I sense and it is all my own.

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Is not being with or around the people, things, etc that contribute to my thought generation and make me feel happy.

 

[ClearVeneer]

For me Loneliness is being unable to get out of my solitude and connect without feeling so uncomfortable. Nothing seems to have content that matters, that are worth the effort. Everything feels so superficial. Socializing only purpose is to feel good to go back to my solitude. Got to be more to Life.

 

[Seahorse]

Not having a single person you could call in an emergency, let alone some to call to share good or bad news

 

[san_te]

Not caring wether to stay or go.

 

[UglyLoser]

I like this quote. What I took from it is that you don't need 50 friends to not be lonely. You just need one really good one.