Lonely For The Rest Of Existence.

[Lena]

This is not a self pitty post, I really feel like this in my heart. I am so pathetic and lame. no wonder why I don't have any friends. I can't be like everyone else because I suck. I guess I'm pretty much depressed at this point. Yeah....I'm certain I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.

I am going to have to get used to being lonely and I know it. I don't even know why I try to fight it one way or the other. Some people just have no hope. :club:

 

[Solitary man]

Loneliness is my only friend. Well, loneliness and a pussy-cat. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I''ll be alone until I breathe my last. Everywhere I go I see people with other people; couples, families, friends with friends. Not me. I've walked alone for many years now, never found the one. Never found anyone. No-one knows who I am or that I even exist. Sometimes I go under, depression gets me. I fight it tooth and nail. I fight it because I have experienced it's devastation before.

I don't want to be a loner. It has robbed me of a life. But this **** has just got to be genetic, as it's too deeply ingrained not to be. I can't be someone I'm not. I can't go against the grain of my nature.

Eat some good food, watch some good comedy. Try to be as happy as you possibly can be.

 

[putter65]

Loneliness is my only friend. Well, loneliness and a pussy-cat. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I''ll be alone until I breathe my last. Everywhere I go I see people with other people; couples, families, friends with friends. Not me. I've walked alone for many years now, never found the one. Never found anyone. No-one knows who I am or that I even exist. Sometimes I go under, depression gets me. I fight it tooth and nail. I fight it because I have experienced it's devastation before.

I don't want to be a loner. It has robbed me of a life. But this **** has just got to be genetic, as it's too deeply ingrained not to be. I can't be someone I'm not. I can't go against the grain of my nature.

Eat some good food, watch some good comedy. Try to be as happy as you possibly can be.

Well I haven't got any close friends but I enjoy my life. I have my hobbies, golf and football. I have books to read and films to see. I am busy with all of these things.

My advice would be to get a job that involves the public. Working in a shop or a pub / bar. Something that forces you to interact with people. I hated at first now I enjoy it, the chit chat, banter, little chats, finding stuff out about people's lives.

If you can't find a job, try something voluntary.

Good Luck

 

[Gutted]

That sucks Lena and Solitary Man D: If you guys feel like talking, PM me and we can get something going. Have a laugh maybe~ Remember.. All good things must come to an end. As must all bad things.

 

[Phaedron]

I don't think it will get any better on its own, so I suggest that you fight it while you can, and console yourself that no matter how bad you think it is, it could and probably will get worse. It did for me. I never thought it would be this bad.

I'm 31, and my intense lonliness began when I was 13 and moved to a new school against my will.
then I was 16 and my father and grandmother died, leaving only a stepgrandfather and we still don't understand one another.
Went through high school alone, had one girlfriend who was moved to a group home and a different school.
Later in life, I was betrayed by my former best friend and weed smoking buddy who stole a lot of money from me, and now I have no connections for that.
Finally got into a serious relationship for a year, that ended in betrayal and financial ruin.
Now it's like everything and everyone, all the good times, were in the past, and there just isn't anything to look forward to.

Fight it while you can, because if you don't, you'll end up 31, no life, no friends, no family, no relationship, no money, no job, no purpose, and no strength to fight loneliness and despair in a life that is inevitably winding down and comes close to dying daily of a broken heart, with nothing to look forward to but the knowledge you might make it to old age, and still have no family, no life, no lover, no grandchildren, and will die alone on a hospital bed with no one around to care.

 

[Polar]

This is not a self pitty post, I really feel like this in my heart. I am so pathetic and lame. no wonder why I don't have any friends. I can't be like everyone else because I suck. I guess I'm pretty much depressed at this point. Yeah....I'm certain I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.

I am going to have to get used to being lonely and I know it. I don't even know why I try to fight it one way or the other. Some people just have no hope. :club:

I don't frequent these forums too often anymore, mostly because the frustration in the posts which I read here tend to have a depressing influence on me. But hey, I shouldn't ask for more from this specific forum. The self loathing gets to me because I very much believe for most of the posters that they have unique, interesting personalities and the only thing which they lack is a way to connect to other people. Be it shyness, SA, extreme introversion or whatever else, they all face obstacles. I do too.

I know the gratifying sensation you get when you just break apart every part of yourself and see yourself as nothing more than waste of space. But that feeling is nothing more than you emotionally amending with the idea of perpetual loneliness. That feeling is a flat out LIE. I'm positive there are parts of you which sort of suck. ...I'm sure there are parts of you which suck Oh-, so-... BAD. But, as a person, you probably just suck about as much as the other 7 billion of us do. You're different, but fine. Don't stop believing that, if you can do that, you can make others believe that as well. We aren't as hard on you, as you are on yourself.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

The first thread I read on this site said something about...emptying your cup before you can fill it.
Then I read a thread about "it's a self fullfiling prophacy"
Then i read about...We are born to create...
Then I gave someone advice about "painting my own side of the fence green"
The thing I remember the most from my monistor "change your thinking change your life"

The law of attractions by Abraham Hicks...gose into details about many healthy living tools.
She's actually straight forward from the very first chaptor of her many teachings.

As ****** up as it may be for you at the moment. As ****** up you might feel at the moment.
You must find a way to FEEL good about yourself. Be in harmony with yourself.
Think positive about yourself. See yourself and perhasp life in a positive light.....
Stand in the light. Stand in the vortex. Stand in god's love. Stand in my love.
Feel the happiness. Feel the joy. Feel the abondance. Feel the love.
"First things first".........

It aint rocket science...that I would empty out the negative **** from my mind before
I can fill it back up with positive things in my mind.
Change my thinking...change my life.
Im always creating. I might as will paint ,love, positive and happiness.
Its a self fulfilling prophacy. I draw to me what I focus upon.
I actaully give life and everything in it the instructions.

These are some of things Abraham Hicks cleared up for me....
Go towards something rather than away from something.
Example....
Focus on being happy....
Verses....not trying to be lonely anymore.

example...If i say
"dont think about the statue of liberty".
The statue of liberty will still enter your concious, awaerness or focus.
Loneliness will still enter your awearness..if you talk about it or mention it....
Even if you wish not to feel lonely anymore....

Rather...
See yourself as being happy. Having friends and a lover....ect
Feel it....
Allow yourself....
The only person that's preventing you from feeling this...is YOU.
Our feelings come from with inside us.
Proactively or get into the habit of triggering your own positive feelings.
Rather than to wait, rely or be dependent on outside circumstance to trigger your feelings.
All of man's creations start from within side of him/her.

 

[Romantic_Flower]

Loneliness is my only friend. Well, loneliness and a pussy-cat. I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I''ll be alone until I breathe my last. Everywhere I go I see people with other people; couples, families, friends with friends. Not me. I've walked alone for many years now, never found the one. Never found anyone. No-one knows who I am or that I even exist. Sometimes I go under, depression gets me. I fight it tooth and nail. I fight it because I have experienced it's devastation before.

I don't want to be a loner. It has robbed me of a life. But this **** has just got to be genetic, as it's too deeply ingrained not to be. I can't be someone I'm not. I can't go against the grain of my nature.

Eat some good food, watch some good comedy. Try to be as happy as you possibly can be.

same here. just exactly as you...

 

[Lena]

I genuinely tried the law of attraction before. It didn't work. I didn't doubt or anything until I finally realized that wasn't working for me. I feel like the law of attraction is just as possible as fate. Same chances. No difference. I feel just like solitary man, except I'm 22 years old. It doesn't matter if you're 30 or 40. I'm 22, never had any friends in highschool, NEVER had a boyfriend. NEVER. I'm a VIRGIN. I have to take care of my family because they all have an illness except for me and my little sister. I can't do ANYTHING because I have to look after THEM. It's not that I don't care for them, but it has penned me down. People wonder why I don't get out much and I don't ever feel like explaining to them why I don't, but this is why. My mom and dad aren't together, so I play my mom's role. My dad is not like a dad, he acts like a son, who claims authority. I have to pick up after everyone, play therapist with people when there is something wrong, even though I need some therapy myself, I have an autistic brother, another brother with another problem, my younger sister, and then my "father." -

My life is frustrating and I don't see myself EVER getting out of this. I applied to a bunch of jobs, but not 1 called me back since *2008*. 2008 guys. That's MISERABLE. It almost feels like I was born to be confined and lonely and depressed. Then to top that off, I'm too sensitive, people don't like to talk to me because I guess I'm too much.

I'm gonna die a lonely pathetic virgin. I might as well have been 90 years old coming out of the womb. Life irritates me. The path my life has chosen is VERY frustrating and ANNOYING and there is NO WAY out of it at this time. I've been on the DEEP end of depression MANY times, but I am learning to live with it. ( Complaining as I go. But that's better than thinking about the "S" word. )
I can't drive either. Geez.

I'm sorry to go on and on, but this has been building up inside of me for the past few YEARS. Unless something tragic happens in my family ( & I don't want that happening either), nothing is going to change here.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

But if you had applied some of the law of attraction material or listen to some of it...
You would also know...you cant base your future from your past.
You must start telling or writting a new story.

I also grew up in a dysfuntional enviornment....

Im not gonna compair but...
What's more painful????
To loose everything that you ever loved....
Or to never gained something so that you may never loose it.

I was over 40 and single again after a long term relationship.
I lost my job. I lost my home. I lost everything I worked for.
Even someone I was very close to, died...
I lost touch with all my step daughters that I raised.
I also lost both of my biological daghters. The last time I saw my eldest daughter
was 23 years ago. I never met my youngest daughter.
I thought I wouldnt be able to love again or be with the love of my life again.
I became very depressed. I even isolated myself. I given up on life. I was burnt
out of the ********. I wouldnt even leave my house for months at a time....
I figure my fath was sealed. My life turned up side down and everything I was doing or trying to prevent it from happening didnt
worked. It all turned into **** no matter how much i tired and tried
again.

But I was wrong.....

My life isnt perfect at the moment...but Im with my HS sweetheart.
The love of my life. The woman Ive always loved from the beginning.
I never thought she would come back into my life or that we would be together.
Im with her now. it hasnt been easy...but Im with her now.
Im greatful for this. Its more than a dream come ture for me.
The past 2 years hasnt been easy. Renae and I gone through very heart breaking
separations again and again. I felt devistated over and over again.
I slept in my truck. I became homeless. I even lost my truck. I lost all my guitars.
My father even died a couple of months ago.
But I had to keep positive or I was going to sink into a deepper depression
than Ive ever experinced. My last depression nearly killed me.....

So it wasnt like getting depressed and lonely was something I can easily cope with
and accepted either...It drove me fucken nutz!

Ive also met my youngest daughter for the first time in my/her life last year.
I have a good relationship with her...even though we're not super close...but
she loves me as much as Ive always loved her. And she's a total bombshell.
Everything about her wasnt like anything I could have concieved or imgained.

Both of my step daughters also got in contact with me. They both also love me
as i love them.

My step son even talks to me every so often.

My eldest duaghter also got in contact with me.

My life isnt perfect. It's definitely isnt sealed nor what I imagined from 2 years ago.

 

[Phaedron]

LC, you said "dont think about the stature the liberty" well you were right. Now I can't stop thinking about her... (The whole first part of this video is about the statue)

[video=youtube]

 

[Lonesome Crow]

LC, you said "dont think about the stature the liberty" well you were right. Now I can't stop thinking about her... (The whole first part of this video is about the statue)

John 10, 10
" i came not to save the world. I came so that you may LIVE ABONDANTLY"

This is the prosperity symbal.
Some refer it as the infinity symbal.

Infinity, abondance, wealth, prosperity, unlimited, vast, having.
FOCUS and FEEL it.

 

[perfanoff]

Lena, sometimes you need to be looking out for your self interest. I understand your family needs help, and that you can help them more if you spend all your time looking after, but you cannot sacrifice your life for them. You need to start building a more healthy distance from your family. In every person's life, there should be a moment where they fly out of the family nest so they can build their own. You don't OWE anyone your LIFE.

 

[Phaedron]

John 10, 10
" i came not to save the world. I came so that you may LIVE ABONDANTLY"

This is the prosperity symbal.
Some refer it as the infinity symbal.

Infinity, abondance, wealth, prosperity, unlimited, vast, having.
FOCUS and FEEL it.

lol You're showing ME the infinity symbol? I think about it and feel it all the time. I also feel that were some errors in that video, in particular it was made by A Catholic who thinks Rome should be saved and America destroyed. It's very clear to me Rome is the CITY being mentioned as Babylon.

All things are infinity, male and female, light and dark, matter and spirit, all eternal pairs. 0 - nothingness 00 - infinity. It goes as deep as our very DNA. Energy and Space are eternal, neither created nor destroyed. 8 or 00 is what you get when you twist the 0 so that half of it is turned backwards, like a bent halo.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

A Judas monk actaully helped me. I responed to a vedio he made about the 7 deadly sins.
He went into depth about them and also taught me the opposite of the 7 deadly sins.
He didnt teach through fears, shame, guilt or controll. Nor did he tried to convert me.
He simply cared about me even if he didnt know me. Life is precious. Im precious.

Example....Envy is one of the 7 deadly sins.
He said the opposite of envy is gradtitude.

It's ovbious when we feel envy. it's becuase we feel lack or not having.
Gradtitude is a state of having or feeling having.
Positive begets more positive....
Having begets more having.

I got the infinity symbal from a vedio. A short vedio that didnt go into much details.
All he said was...he's life was going down the tubes....After focusing on that symbal
his life got better and better. Positive things started happening in his life...That's it.
That simple.....
So he just past on his knowlege and experince.

Since I came across that symbal...My life started to change for the better too.
Im with Renae again. We reconciled. You already know how much I love Renae....
I didnt know she was going to call me. You already know she and i was separated
or had broken up many, many months ago. And i return to Ca. very broken hearted.
You knew how devistated I felt....

Im back in TX with her NOW.

Other trivial stuff such as....
I drew that symbal on the palm of my hand onenight....Just for kicks.
I got luckie...man. I kept winning money all night.

 

[Lena]

Lena, sometimes you need to be looking out for your self interest. I understand your family needs help, and that you can help them more if you spend all your time looking after, but you cannot sacrifice your life for them. You need to start building a more healthy distance from your family. In every person's life, there should be a moment where they fly out of the family nest so they can build their own. You don't OWE anyone your LIFE.

The problem is, I haven't been able to find a job since 2008. Nobody will hire me for some reason and I've only had 1 job in my entire life. ( Perhaps that's why. )

I feel like I have a bad fortune.

 

[Phaedron]

And the opposite of lust is Love... but mine is sloth... which is not really a sin, let alone a deadly one, but the masters would like their slaves to have that good ole protestant work ethic...

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Guilt is a trainned emotional response. Couple it with fear...You get a lot of mental
and emotional manipulations.

i basically also had to go through thr samething when I move back to TX to be with Renae.
Vary degrees of it. My mother didnt played with my guilt. She was more supportive.

Verses one of my friend that was a little selffish. He used guilt and fear. He was going to lose
me as a hanging out buddy. A friend that he could count on when ever he needed me.....
He actually owes me money out of all things. Yes he had helped me through some rough times.
At the sametime...I was going down a path I wish not to live. When push came to shove,
he simply wasnt there for me. I started using me like one of his ponds...sort of speak.
I had to do whatever I needed to do to get what I wanted and needed.
My needs wasnt his priority....such as me getting another vechical.
It was imperitive that I get another vechical so that I can look for work or do things for myself.
I remember the day I got my TramsAm well. I had to go through a bunch of ******** or
obsticals to purchase my car and get it home.
No one heped me or came throught for me..I wasnt really mad. Just disappiontted.
At the sametime I felt really good about myself...I got what i wanted. i made it happened.
It was actaully something i purchased for myself in a long time...instead of taking care of everyone else.

Sometimes family and friends are our biggest boarder bullies......

So when I made the decision to be with Reane again...another cross country drive.
More challenges and obsticals. My relationaship with Renae isnt a cake walk either.
I know I needed to do what I needed to do to get what I want.
I cant please everyone. My freind just wanted me around to have a drinking buddie and a ride to the casino.

I love Renae...

The most difficult person to break the news to is actually our duaghter KIMI...
Kimi loves me very much. She loves her mother (Renae) too.
Like I said..my relationship with Renae isnt a cake walk.
The relationship dynamic between Kimi, Renae and I is a little bit complex.


Lust, desire, wanting...ect
Whatever terms people wanna use to discribe that feeling.
Jesus desire to please god. He lust for heaven just the same.
Budah lust after enlightenment....
Both of these dudes left families and friends behind for whatever they were chasing after....just the same.

None of us lack willingness or motivations...It's all in the pay offs.
You're either willing to sit on your ass or you're willing to get up off of your ass....
You're willing to stay the same or you're willing to make a change.

As none of us lack faith...
You'll either have faith that your life is gonna suck or you'll have faith your life is great.

 

[trajce]

I don't think it will get any better on its own, so I suggest that you fight it while you can, and console yourself that no matter how bad you think it is, it could and probably will get worse. It did for me. I never thought it would be this bad.

I'm 31, and my intense lonliness began when I was 13 and moved to a new school against my will.
then I was 16 and my father and grandmother died, leaving only a stepgrandfather and we still don't understand one another.
Went through high school alone, had one girlfriend who was moved to a group home and a different school.
Later in life, I was betrayed by my former best friend and weed smoking buddy who stole a lot of money from me, and now I have no connections for that.
Finally got into a serious relationship for a year, that ended in betrayal and financial ruin.
Now it's like everything and everyone, all the good times, were in the past, and there just isn't anything to look forward to.

Fight it while you can, because if you don't, you'll end up 31, no life, no friends, no family, no relationship, no money, no job, no purpose, and no strength to fight loneliness and despair in a life that is inevitably winding down and comes close to dying daily of a broken heart, with nothing to look forward to but the knowledge you might make it to old age, and still have no family, no life, no lover, no grandchildren, and will die alone on a hospital bed with no one around to care.

I also feel like im very lonely.i started watchin an anime naruto shippuden in 2009 and saw myself in the character gaara. it was the worst fukin period of my life and i dont think i could get much worse altough im only 19.but also the main character called naruto became friends with garra and he was a character who would never give up on what he wanted to acomplish.i think this is how we should view life.not give up on it.never.doing some stuff like a job,playing sports,reading books(becoming smarter) will get u off the feling of being lonely.and also i read here http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Loneliness on how to beat loneliness.it helps me alot.also having a goal can make your life more fulfiled.on youtube type zeitgeist or jaque fresco.watch his venus project.he must be the smartes man alive and he wants to completly change the way we life.if not else at least i would life out my life to see if his dream would be someday realised becouse he speaks of a living without jobs,bills,competition a place what is far better than the place we live today.Having found this site i know know that im not the only one feeling alone and bad.all we can do is keep fighting till the end.

 

[Unwanted94]

I also feel like im very lonely.i started watchin an anime naruto shippuden in 2009 and saw myself in the character gaara. it was the worst fukin period of my life and i dont think i could get much worse altough im only 19.but also the main character called naruto became friends with garra and he was a character who would never give up on what he wanted to acomplish.i think this is how we should view life.not give up on it.never.doing some stuff like a job,playing sports,reading books(becoming smarter) will get u off the feling of being lonely.and also i read here http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-Loneliness on how to beat loneliness.it helps me alot.also having a goal can make your life more fulfiled.on youtube type zeitgeist or jaque fresco.watch his venus project.he must be the smartes man alive and he wants to completly change the way we life.if not else at least i would life out my life to see if his dream would be someday realised becouse he speaks of a living without jobs,bills,competition a place what is far better than the place we live today.Having found this site i know know that im not the only one feeling alone and bad.all we can do is keep fighting till the end.

I agree with you. It's best to set goals and try to achieve something rather than trying to make friends or be in a relationship. Friendship and relationships are NOT the solution to loneliness and depression, because when those friendships and relationships fail, it'll only leave the sufferer feeling even worse. That's why I no longer pursue these things. Pursuing others only left me feeling like dirt. On top of that, our society has changed a lot over the past few decades. People are becoming more withdrawn from each other. We just have to adapt to this new change,and be content with ourselves.