Lonely With Him

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Ambie

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Once again hes playing a dumb facebook game while im over here alone, hes trying to make me once again go way out of my comfort zone at his brother's even though im always uncomfortable, I don't know why he even wants me to, he really never even talks to me while im there amd over half the time everyone starts speaking another language and all i can think of is going back to my home town, sure i was alone there but I never felt this out of place. Hes so selfish and inconsiderate about anyone else. Through my life ive been though a lot that has made myself worth seem to be extremely low and people problems, in the beginning he said he understood now he doesnt seem to at all. Hes my first love, my first everything, now i dont if i want that. I hate the thought of leaving him but it feels like were wasting our time. He use to tell me hed never make me do thinks I dont want but now that were living together I see thats a lie. When we argue bout something dumb hes gotten to where he calls me stupid and hold me down so I cant get away, gripping my wrists really tight. Hes even told me im worthless and no one wants me, but then he said he told me that because spiteful, but i dont see how, everyone says things when theyre angry. But lately its gotten worse last month he hit me in the face. It started with him shirtless yelling at my cat, he was doing it all day so i went to through a little lotion on his back to make him stop cause he never listens to me. He swung back really fast and slammed the bottle in my face hard, i seen stars, this i admit was an accident cause hes always jumpy. I told him to leave me alone while I gripped my face in pain, eventually he gets angy and restrained me and wouldnt let go, he was scarring me yelling at me saying hurtful things while i begged to be let go trying to pull away. I cant really remember what led to it, but he slapped me where the bottle had hit me. Then there was the how Im sorry thing came in. But last week is what scared me to death. As usual he was playing his game and i kept asking if he would spend time with me but he never really talks to me during, so since he was on facebook, i changed our relationship status to married to in a relationship. the moment hes seen is he slammed my laptop on my hands, cutting my finger. I told him I wanted to go home so I went to start packing my things and he kept saying he was sorry and I told him I dont care, still packing and harder then before he hit me in the face again. I started screaming in pain, I couldnt open my eye. I tried to crawl away but he went to block the door and stepped on my ankle (he is like 250 lbs atleast) once again i screamed he was yelling al me to shut up. I eased up up trying to push him away put he restrained me against the wall hurting my wrists again, I tried to push him away but we tripped and he fell on top of me as i was already crying he got up and blocked the door again when i crawled to it. He kept saying it was my fault yelling at me and punched the wall. He ended up pinning me on the floor covering my mouth so i couldnt call for help anymore, i started hyperventilating calling for my mom. Then i just went quiet, I couldnt breath so i got quiet so he would let go. when he did i crawled to the back of the closet so hed leave me alone then he started to say he was sorry that it wouldnt happen again, that he wouldnt ignore me again but hes doing it now. I just dont know what to do I hate how i let myself get so weak.

Has anyone else had to go through this
 
Sweetheart, you need to get the hell away from this guy. YOU are not doing anything wrong. Trust me, I have been there. If you would like to talk further feel free to PM me.
 
I have to side with Hoffy, this sounds pretty serious. He's not worth it, you deserve much better.
 
Please get far away from him..... he's abusive. The "sorry for blah blah" afterwards is an endless cycle with these types! :\ I realize he's your first love and it's going to make it harder for you but he is WAY out of line. There's no excuse for his behavior.
 
He is going to continue to beat you until you are either dead or you leave him.
 
Lonely is not the right word.
The only people who "had" to go through this are those who needed help beyond what a forum like this can offer. You need to seek professional help.
 
I'm ashamed to admit I know people like your boyfriend. They don't change. You have got to get away from him. If you leave, which you should, make sure you do when he's not there otherwise you're going to get a beating again.
 
Or she can have a cop come with her to move out once she gets a restraining order on him.
 
Nothing I will say will coerce you to leave.

You stay with him, deep down you like being treated that way.
You leave him, and you love yourself.

Which of the above will you choose.
 
I don't want say about anything that what you can do becz every1 knows that what is answer but you should know it howto make it practical . love is part of not hurting each other but supporting feelings and emotions for any worst condition . I had good time with my girlfriend but now she left me because of i am over emotional . I understood that don't be over emotional becz after period of time it becomes reason for gap in relationship . you should once realize him that how it was hard you to believable that Its him who loved me more that what i was expected . Trust me , Time is solution for every answer . Go away from him for some time and let him feel loneliness, he will understand it well.
 

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