Long distance dating- what do you think?

Lonely in BC · Oct 2, 2012

MissGuided · Oct 2, 2012

ladyforsaken · Oct 7, 2012

Lonely in BC said:
Every day the connection grows,

deeper, yes, beyond measure.

The honesty only brings us closer.

Worth it doesn't begin to describe it, so far beyond that!

She's........amazing!

Wow.

Aww sounds sweet. Congrats and am happy for you BC!

I'm in a LDR myself. But I'll be meeting him in less than 2 months' time.

I guess it'll work, if both sides really communicate well and openly, remain honest and faithful and trustworthy, and always working at nurturing the relationship. It's tougher for LDR cos of the lack of physical contact which I think is a MAJOR part of a being in a relationship but if the both of you are working towards converting the LDR into a closer local relationship then I'm going to say go for it and all the best!!

Grey · Oct 7, 2012

I've been in one for 5 years and its still going good.

The Good Citizen · Oct 9, 2012

Congratulations BC!

I think there are different kinds of LDR's my Girlfriend lives near Manchester so just less than an hour on the train and then a bus trip. So what started off as a lot of visiting each other at weekends has become staying together for longer periods of time with the option of going back for a bit when ever she feels like it so its no great hardship really. I don't really class it as an LDR as we're not restricted by a job or anything although it does take a bit of adjusting to sharing your whole life together from quite early on but we're getting there, its better than just spending a night together a week for months on end, I don't have the patience to go at that speed!

It must be harder in the states say if you are often a plane journey apart, I think as long as its eventually going to get to a place where you are happy and continues to head toward that its a good thing. I think the only problem is you could perhaps waste a lot of time looking for a commitment to moving in together if that’s what you want or need. One of you has to decide to up sticks and make the full on commitment and I think sometimes you have to talk about that a bit earlier than you would normally. Its an important conversation to have, for instance long distance indefinitely might suit your needs but not hers or vice versa and you might one day find out you want different things and by then you are already in too deep and will get hurt, so that’s always worth clarifying, I don't think its getting too serious talking about it early on, just common sense really.

Catterina67 · Dec 31, 2012

Lonely in BC said:
Thank's to each of you for your input

Jales- that's inspiring. I'm happy things worked out well for you and any tips you might have would be appreciated. The two of us have pretty good imaginations and have found various ways to share our enthusiasm.

Okiedokes- part of the happiness for us is in making a plan to get together. We've set a date in the not to far off future to meet- I think that our life experiences (we're both in our 40's- 45 year old teen in my case) have allowed us to find patience and anticipation that we (me for sure) wouldn't have had 5, 10, or more years ago.

Tealeaf- funny enough it's partly a desire for physical affection that has us as enamoured as we are. When we first exchanged messages (I initiated it) it was simply because I appreciated the very upbeat nature in her words- I don't know if this makes sense but I felt a warmth in her writing. As messages exchanged there were physical responses to each others words based on many different emotions and experiences. We've both realized that we seek a relationship that encompasses mutual mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical support. Loners (as we both are) find it so difficult to meet someone due to shyness, insecurity, etc., being able to be so open and forthright first in our messages and now in phone conversations has set a great groundwork for when we are together. I'm currently getting a lot of exercise (swimming, hiking, etc.) to burn off the excess energy that comes about from thoughts of her.

Floffyschneeman- yes, there is a plan in the works to be together in one place. She was making a plan to head in this direction and when we stumbled upon each other I somehow became a part of the plan. It's kind of amusing to me how my offer to be a bit of a tour guide in a certain part of the country led to me becoming not only a part of the tour but a destination as well

Phaedron- your comments are valued as well- the giving up everything and be willing to locate just happened to be part of her plan anyway. Since she's got an adventurous spirit there's a whole world of possibility open to us. I live in the kind of place she was hoping to find so that parts pretty easy. I understand there are no guarantees regarding a relationship starting this way but I've also learned there's no guarantee to more traditional ways of starting relationships. The really cool thing about what we've started is the complete openness we have with each other- we've been able to share things that I don't think either one of us would have admitted to had we bumped into each other in a more traditional way.

I.N.- yes, trust is a big part of relationships and this is something that we've freely given each other. I refuse to start having a suspicious nature- just gotta have faith! No, I'm not naive, I'm just not going to waste my time thinking about negativity any more and I see the same quality in her.

V.C.- your comments on togetherness are reassuring. We just have so much in common it's mind blowing. I'm comfortable knowing that we don't have to be together every second of the day but when we are together it's going to be about us. I'd honestly be concerned if someone coming into my life had no goals or ambition, that's something that's not an issue here and I'm quite happy to be supportive while she reaches for her brass ring.

I kind of suspect that in the next year B.C. going to have to consider something other than a funky motorhome in an RV park to live in. Maybe I'll have to build a shed for an addition (lol).

Hi,I'm new here,Just wanted to say that's the most thought inspiring post I've ever read! I'm sort of getting myself in that situation and you have inspired me. Thank you.