Looking for advice

[Mr Seal The Albatros]

This is an issue for someone else, but I wanted to get input on what to go, since I honestly don't know what to do.

So my friend says he is suicidal. This appears to be mostly related to an ex-girlfriend who's been sending him threats of making him miserable and death. I've contacted his family, and thankfully they know and support him, but I don't know what to do next. I've tried telling him to block all contact from this person, but he doesn't listen.

 

[Cataplasme]

Personally I would find his ex-girlfriend to intimidate her or stuff like that.
But it's just my way, and probably not the good one.

 

[VanillaCreme]

If he doesn't want to listen, he's just not going to. One of the better solutions would probably be to ignore this female, but if he doesn't want to, he simply won't. He'll have to learn on his own how to deal with this type of behavior. Because, truth be told, there may be something off about this female. That's not normal behavior, unless it's brought on by something - perhaps something he did to her, and she's trying to get back at him instead of just letting it go.

 

[ladyforsaken]

If he doesn't want to listen, he's just not going to. One of the better solutions would probably be to ignore this female, but if he doesn't want to, he simply won't. He'll have to learn on his own how to deal with this type of behavior.

This, really. You can't make someone change their mind if they're really set on it. You can try to watch out for them and warn them as much as you want but ultimately, they'll make the choices. Maybe somewhere along your multiple warnings and advice your friend might snap out of it and listen to you, I don't know really. I hope it will be okay.

 

[9006]

What everyone else says; only they can make the right choice. As uncomfortable it is to sit and feel like you can't do anything you've already done the best thing you could.

 

[SofiasMami]

Since the first thing you mentioned about your friend is that he's suicidal, I'm going to take the liberty of assuming that's your primary concern here. How serious is his talk of ending it all? Does he have a concrete plan or just ruminating? Sometimes it's hard to tell. At the very least he has family and you as a friend who care about him.
Depression often impinges on people's ability to make reasoned and rational decisions. Telling them to just forget about the problems they're thinking about is like telling an asthmatic to just breathe better and isn't helpful in my opinion.
Kudos to you for supporting your friend.

-Teresa

-Teresa

 

[constant stranger]

Whenever someone speaks of suicide it must be taken seriously. Nevertheless, the truly determined suicides frequently don't speak of it, they just do it.

I'm hoping your friend was hoping to be talked out of it or maybe looking for sympathy......give it to him! Talk him out of it! Induce him to know that he has a network of friends and family he belongs to and his life will go on after the ex-girlfriend is part of the past.

 

[Mr Seal The Albatros]

Thank you all for your advice.

I talked to him, and his family, which appear to be quite friendly people. The situation has been dealt with, and he's actually taken the initiative to take quite a few steps to improve things. He's also managed to let go of his ex-girlfriend, and we found how to block contact to stop the death threats from showing up.

Once again, thank you all very much for your advice.

 

[surfeit]

I've had a friend like that.
I wouldn't say I fixed the problem, but just being there with him making sure he doesn't do something stupid made me think that maybe I'm making a small difference. When you're hanging out together try to stay positive and talk about different subjects. Some people take break ups really hard and it takes them a lot of time. And yes, blocking that person will help as well.

 

[Veruca]

Most times, even our closest friends or family won't listen to us when we point out what's good or bad for them. People seem to need to figure things out for themselves, so no matter how much it hurts and worries us to see our loved ones make poor decisions, we can't do anything but to simply be there for them and hope that they will find their way eventually.

I think what surfeit said in particular is good advice. Your friend may be feeling overwhelmed by this ex's negativity and perhaps trying to expose him to as many positive experiences might counter that. The support network might eventually help him move away from this person.

Good on you for being a caring friend. I hope everything works out soon.

 

[Sometimes]

Thank you all for your advice.

I talked to him, and his family, which appear to be quite friendly people. The situation has been dealt with, and he's actually taken the initiative to take quite a few steps to improve things. He's also managed to let go of his ex-girlfriend, and we found how to block contact to stop the death threats from showing up.

Once again, thank you all very much for your advice.

You are a really good friend!