Love screws everything up

[The Unutterable]

Love gives hope. Love inspires. Love allows the most beautiful sides of humanity to shine.

People screw everything up.

Love does not hurt, the absence of love hurts; the twisting, rending death of love hurts. The loss of illusions, the stark reality that what you want, who you want, what you desire most, the thing that seems the most logical and wonderful for the entire world in one's love-addled mind, doesn't match with that someone else's worldview. That ignominious whimper of capitulation as the last gasp spits it way out of your deflating dream...

That stuff hurts.

Funny thing is, I realize the whole thing is all a matter of perceptions, conscious or not, mixed in a soup of chemical signals and ancient genetic triggers. Love can be studied and seen almost as nothing more than a sophisticated instinctual urge, much like the desire to eat and the varying degrees of choosiness displayed amongst people and even in an individual as to their tastes and how to satisfy that particular hunger. But our romanticized imaginations and deeply inculcated insecurities as mere specks of sand in a grand cosmic beach have animated and made a monster of this thing that is love and given it such power that, even though a grand inspiring emotion it may be, it is a Golem that destroys from within when it is rejected...And yet, I can do little, even with the anvil of experience, to chip away at that great stone of sorrow and pain that now hangs heavily around my neck, having erupted from the dying volcano that once spewed that spectacular, glowing love.

Yeah, obviously, I do feel you though.

 

[markcomo]

No it is not like natural reaction but you sufferingfrom mentaly scatterbrained that's why you feel like that. You should meet some expert of specialist and solved out your problem as much as possible.

 

[yuckyyou]

that's true.. when you give all your love its screws everything up

 

[MTrip]

Well, I feel for you. All of you. I've been through the wringer of falling in love & having it not work out...no point in rehashing it. In Stephen King's novel Christine there is a character who warns the narrator that "Love is the enemy...It eats friendship.... It is insectile. It is always hungry." I find myself agreeing with him these days.

 

[Solivagant]

Love pretty much screws your life up. I didn't even know what true happiness was til I found love, I was happy with being content, up til then was always happy but truely happy when I felt love. Now I cant even get back to feel content. Nothing seems to make me remotely happy, because the meaning I had in my life has gone and nothing compares.

Is this a natural reaction to lost love?

Yes, this is pretty much what I experienced after the loss.

It was only there long enough for me to know what I was missing. I was content enough in my solitude before then, when I didn't realize how lonely I'd been. Now I have no peace.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

Maybe it's a blessing that I've never been in love?

 

[ForeverVirile]

I didn't read through the thread. I just saw that it started over two years ago, but I wanted to chime in.

The worst thing a human being can do when they get into a relationship is to make their partner 'their world'. And by 'world', I mean by cutting out their hobbies, friends, family and everything else in their life and focusing on their partner. Huge mistake. I'm not even going to go into the details because this should be common sense as to why this is an awful idea. The problem is, this idea becomes nonexistent as it's easy to fall into this mindset of trying to give your partner everything. Usually one learns their lesson after they get burned. Happened to me once. I learned my lesson. But I'll never want to stop smacking myself for the mistake. If you do this, and you lose him/her, it will feel like the end of the world to you.

Another thing is the fact that relationships are a hell of a lot of work and will require two mature people to sustain it (among a plethora of other things). Ups and downs are expected. Enjoy the 'highs' and battle through the 'lows', accept that adversity is inevitable but having the tools to battle through the worst times is what's key.

Love is a great thing, but just like everything in life, it's not all sunshine and roses. Relationships, like any endeavor worth committing to, will require a lot of patience and work, but it can be a rewarding experience.

This, all the above, coming from me, someone that's been going through heartbreak for a few years now and have been bouncing around through a few failed relationships since. It's not easy, but nah, love doesn't screw everything up. People do, for various reasons. And I'm sure that's been touched on in this thread.

 

[LeaningIntoTheMuse]

That's some food for thought.

I think part of the reason why I'm single now is because I would throw everything at a girl. And she would never be able to compete with my ideal fantasy of her.

It's true that I want a relationship, have wanted one for 16 years...but that doesn't mean that my first relationship will be all sunshine and roses. In fact, I'd probably be better off single, than having to experience my first heartbreak.