Making friends, getting out there...

[Guest]

Hi everyone,

I'm a high school junior, and I'm really lonely right now in my life. To be honest, I've never had a good friend since elementary school. I try to get to know new people, but it seems like everyone already has a very established group of friends that they are more than happy with. I have a few acquaintances that I'm friendly with and talk with a fair amount at school, but they all have good friends as well and I seem like a third wheel all too often. I wouldn't even say I'm that shy really, maybe when first meeting people but I really think I'm a pleasant person to around (I know, easy for me to say). But anyway the one thing that's really bringing me down right now is lunch. I don't really know anyone to well in my lunch period, and usually there's one or two people I'm friendly with that I sit with at lunch but none of those people are in my lunch period now, so I'm eating alone. I've tried going to other tables and introducing myself three different times now, though each time I felt like I was invading on a group of friends. Everytime I tried to make conversation I just get a "yes" "no" "good" "ok" as a response, all one-ended and then I give up after about five minutes and eat in silence next to them for the remainder of the lunch period while they're all extremely talkative with each other. I've given up on trying to find some other people now after being rejected each time. I do a fair amount of extra-curricular activities as well but haven't had much luck in them socially. I'm really confused and down and I can't bear an entire semester of eating alone, it feels so humiliating... any advice from anyone I'd really appreciate a lot... thanks!!

John

 

[Blue Sky]

Hi John

Yes, it can be very hard and difficult to make friends with someone when there just giving you yes and no answers.
Are there any others in your class that you might be able to make friends with. Maybe someone who has a friendly personality, or someone that seems easy to get along with. I wouldn't give up trying though, the more you try the easier it gets.

 

[Guest]

thanks blue, and yes there are some nice people in my class but it just seems like everyone already has a big group of friends and sometimes it just seems to awkward to butt in.

 

[SadRabbit]

Hummm, haha guest, your life is exactly like mine. What i can say is guest, don't try too hard to fit in ya. Maybe you haven't really found people that you truly belong too. Don't give up mate... haha don't be like me =(

 

[Lost_N_Alone]

Hi John, I went through the same thing as you when I was in high school. I moved around a lot and therefore went to 3 different high schools thoughout my high school years. I was shy (still am) so it was hard for me to even approach people. At least you don't seem to have problems approaching people.
I think part of the problem is that you're trying too hard to approach an already established group of friends. It's hard enough trying to make freinds with one person, let alone a whole group. What I would do is see if there are any either smaller groups, or just individuals who seem to need some company or someone to talk to during lunch and approach them. I wish I had better advice, but I went through a really tough time in high school, especially during lunch periods. I never had anyone to sit with so instead of seeing alone and sticking out like a sore thumb, I just spent my lucnh periods in the library.

 

[Chris 2]

Lunch in High school was the worst place ever, It stink.

 

[lonelyheartsxx]

I understand totally....I HATE the cafeteria bc I never find anyone to sit with, and when I do the table's already too crowded You're not alone, I feel the same way!

 

[Chris 2]

Sorry about my last replied, I guess it didn't help you much mate.

What I'm trying to say is that there are tons of people just like yourself. High school for me was ruff, I hardly ate lunch in fear that people would look at me and it felt very painful. But If I can do it, you too can do it.

It was some of the worst years of my life, but you must never give up!

You must have PMA *positive mental attitude* no matter what happen.

 

[mink]

Sorry about my last replied, I guess it didn't help you much mate.

What I'm trying to say is that there are tons of people just like yourself. High school for me was ruff, I hardly ate lunch in fear that people would look at me and it felt very painful. But If I can do it, you too can do it.

It was some of the worst years of my life, but you must never give up!

You must have PMA *positive mental attitude* no matter what happen.

That's right.