Gosh I'm so sorry you live with this aching emptiness in your heart. I too went through seasons of the same kind of disconnect with my husband. Somehow they always feel they are so self entitled to abandon their relationship at home and pursue business relationships. Business must make them feel their worth more. It's usually their preference.
It's so tragically sad for a man to bypass one of the greatest gift God gives to people while here on earth - the ability to engage in a meaningful marriage relationship. After all, marriage is just a reflection of the intimacy God wants with us and He goes to every extreme to draw us closer to Himself. But sadly men don't view themselves as wanting that kind of responsibility and accountability.
I hate to think of you spending too much time hoping to see some changes take place soon, so in the meantime, why not consider how you can develop yourself as a person, as a woman, and as someone who was created with potential and purpose? Yes, this will mean going off in your own direction without your husband, and discovering more of who you are. Instead of pouring your whole heart and soul into hoping for fulfillment with him, make every possible attempt to get involved doing things that interest you.
We get one life here on earth, and in that span of time we can find our worth and meaning by using the gifts, talents, strengths God gave us. We can build relationships with others who are like minded with us; like taking classes of yoga, art, gardening, etc. woman's Bible study, nature classes, cooking classes, volunteer work, etc.
Once you start building meaningful relationships with others, you will become alive again, and discover your reason for being alive. Your husband is responsible for his decisions. You cannot change him. And likewise, you can make your decisions of how you wish to be the best person you can be without him. You can still remain married as your vows state, but until he chooses to establish a relationship with you according to what God says is required for a husband, he will just stay the same. but you don't have to stay the same. You have choices.
I hope some of this helps.
