Maybe You're Lonely Because You're a Jerk!

[lonelygirl]

It really hurts when you make the effort to reach out to another human being, with only honest intentions, and that person suddenly just basically tells you to F**k off.

Your fear of being hurt doesn't give you the right to hurt others.

 

[Cooljohn]

I know the feeling very well. Happen to me lots of times. They sometimes think that you have "ulterior motives" and want to take advantage of them. What makes them think that I have absolutely no clue. That's the price one pays for being good to people. I've known people who are absolute a**holes and people praise them and treat them as if they're God almighty and I look at this and say "What the hell is going on here?" I feel for ya Lonelygirl.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hey cooljohn,

It's quite painful when you reach out to someone and get rejected. Unless a person is perfect in every way, he doesn't have the right to treat me like the filthy gum to be scraped off the bottom of his shoe.

 

[Cooljohn]

No one is perfect although a lot of people seem to feel that way these days. They put on some expensive clothes, drive a fancy car and strut around looking all dandy, but inside they are empty. Don't ever let anyone treat you that way. In my country, we say that such people act as if they s**t ice cream. Don't worry with him. What goes around comes around. Here's a big hug from me.

 

[husky]

lonelygirl, you wanna help so much, but you can't win every battle. sometimes it's better to let go and say "HAVE A BEER", "WANNA BACK RUB?", "ARE YOU HUNGRY?". you're kinda like my sister. she's really pushy and wants to help everyone, fix all our problems. i let her know she had to back off. yet, she's ALWAYS there for me whenever i'm in need. then she'll say "EAT THIS", "DRIVE THE CAR", "YOU NEED WHAT? BE THERE IN 15". really cold and robotic, but that's how i like her. in return, i show her the mystical side of life with songs, artworks, aloofness.. after all, she IS a machine.

btw, thanks for being here LG

 

[kaviii]

I think I am the opposite, people sometimes try to socialize with me but i rarely talk unless its necessary so they pass me off as rude. I'm not rude...at least i dont think i am...

 

[Blue Sky]

Yes, some people can be very self centered and cruel. There are always going to be people running around with big egos, thinking that there better than everyone else, it's just a part of life.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hey Blue Sky,

It's hard for me to talk about this or put it into words--sometimes people reject other people NOT because they have these huge egos, but because they, paradoxically, have such low egos. However, it still hurts the other people.

Ask yourself, are you Groucho Marx: You wouldn't belong to any club that would have you as a member?

If so, are you insulting the intelligence of that person...saying that they are stupid to like you and want to know you?

Do you think that might hurt the other person's already bruised, battered and frayed remains of an ego?

 

[Blue Sky]

I understand now, LG, yes it would hurt. I've never heard of people acting that way before. I wonder why they would act like that.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hmm....Perhaps they are not as smart as they think they are. Does impression: "Oh, boo hoo, I'm lonely...What, you want to be my friend? **** YOU I'm not rejecting you or anything, BUT..."

lol

Lonely Girl--Feels very immature.

Hey were you online tonight? Didn't see you! Are you on my Yahoo IM Friends list? You know how to Yahoo IM me, right?

 

[sweetestbaby]

There's always going to be someone who will misunderstand you or that you'll feel impossible to get along with. The best you can do is offer to help them or steer clear of them. Sometimes people will be like that even when they know you didn't do anything and it will often be because of how they were raised or how they get influenced.

 

[lonelygirl]

Gawd, Sweetest,

It sucks though! I wish that when I reached out to someone and that person just sort of suddenly acted cold and unfriendly...

:-(

 

[lonelygirl]

I wish I could delete this thread. I made it when I was in a pissy mood.

 

[sweetestbaby]

You don't have to delete this thread because it is a good topic and a lot of us go through it. I know it hurts but discovering the jerks then eliminating them from your life brings you a step closer to meeting the right people and as you continue to gain friends, they will have your back and will defend you from other jerks. If there's anyone in particular that is mean to you, you can tell me and I'll gladly tell them off for you.

 

[lonelygirl]

Hi Sweetest,

That is...very sweet of you! *Hug*

Thanks for the offer. I am also very loyal to my friends and get upset when people mistreat them.

 

[Leon]

I think one must respect other people's feelings. Trying to help doesn't automatically make people accept that help. Pride and fear can be factors that lead to rejecting that help, but that is not the issue of the helper. One can extend his hand for other people to reach: it is up to them to grab or let go.

This does not mean that it gives people the right to missbehave and act unpolite to the helper. Yet it shouldn't be such a deal as we can always give one step back, hoping the other person realizes the bad he has done.

 

[Smallbutterflysdontlikecrowds]

I know...

 

[Bluey]

Am I a jerk,,, I don't now. sometimes I wont company but then like last night I couled of gone out but did not coz I dident wont to go to the pub but still would have liked company but just don't know who with.

I know some ppl don't come to my home any moor coz they think am a jerk. I had a go at moor then one person in the past coz they cert time keep and have fall out with some ppl coz of that. Dose that make me a jerk coz I expect better from ppl? mmm I don't know. Nobody else I know seems to have problems like that. Maybe am moor of a boring person then a jerk. That's why I set alone every night in my home.

 

[Droplet]

Hey Blue Sky,

It's hard for me to talk about this or put it into words--sometimes people reject other people NOT because they have these huge egos, but because they, paradoxically, have such low egos. However, it still hurts the other people.

Ask yourself, are you Groucho Marx: You wouldn't belong to any club that would have you as a member?

If so, are you insulting the intelligence of that person...saying that they are stupid to like you and want to know you?

Do you think that might hurt the other person's already bruised, battered and frayed remains of an ego?

I think this goes on alot here in Norway. I think alot of people here are lonely really, it's just that they've all got a group of shallow friends, and when you want to be their friend (because you see their good and genuine side) they'll blow you off because they don't know what their group will think..... Aw well...

I'm actually starting to think that complete openess is the best way (even though it has seemed like it has never work and we just end up getting hurt), but this openess also allows for genuine people to find each other!
The wierdest thing happened the other day, my boyfriend told me that a girl collegue from his work has said that she really wants to hang out with me, but she is afraid if I'll reject her is she calls me to ask if I want to do something!! This is a very cool girl I've been talking to a couple of times and I've also asked her to come out with me once (but then she was tired after moving houses) so she said no, and I immedietly subconsciously put that into the box of rejection I've experienced alot of in my life, but she had a GOOD reason to say no, so it shouldn't had scared me... Anyway after that I have been scared to ask her out again, just like she is scared to ask me out, out of fear of rejection!!! Anyway, she even told my boyfriend to tell me that, talk about openness and genuinity!! I'm looking forward to hanging out with her, she's wicked!!

 

[mink]

The wierdest thing happened the other day, my boyfriend told me that a girl collegue from his work has said that she really wants to hang out with me, but she is afraid if I'll reject her is she calls me to ask if I want to do something!! This is a very cool girl I've been talking to a couple of times and I've also asked her to come out with me once (but then she was tired after moving houses) so she said no, and I immedietly subconsciously put that into the box of rejection I've experienced alot of in my life, but she had a GOOD reason to say no, so it shouldn't had scared me... Anyway after that I have been scared to ask her out again, just like she is scared to ask me out, out of fear of rejection!!! Anyway, she even told my boyfriend to tell me that, talk about openness and genuinity!! I'm looking forward to hanging out with her, she's wicked!!

Wow lol that's funny but but i'm glad it turned out okay in the end.