Merry Xmas from my girlfriend

[Lonesome Crow]

Well, Putter....
Thats why, i am the way i am and did what i did.

All the damn values,morals, and ethnic codes I played by and me being
A nice guy led into a lot of stick situations.
Then i feel like **** oneway or the other.
IF I INTERLIZE IT, ITLL TURN AGAINST ME THEN
ILL FEEL LIKE **** ABOUT MYSELF DEPENDING
HOW MY HEAD SPINS AND NARELY ROLLERS COASTER
GOING WAVE AFTER WAVE.
THEN THE OBSESSION OF TRYING TO RESOLVE WHATEVER
THE **** I NEED TO RESOLVE IS JUST SO SO FUN.

I USE THE SEDONA METDOE.
DONT FIGURE THE **** OUT AND JUST LET MY
FEELINGS GO THROUGH ME. OR TO HELP
ME LET GO OF MY NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
SO THAT I DON'T REACT AND GO **** *******
AND HOES...CUZ IM SUCH A WOMANIZING ****** BAG
LMAO

 

[Anten]

putter65 once you get in your head a chick may genuinely like you, you felt like you are the luckiest man on earth. In short it makes you feel like a man but if you had to pull teeth to do it in the way she made as you put it then it was doomed from the start. Chasing that feeling can make you do stupid stuff and cause heartbreak.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

YOU ALREADY HAVE THOSE POSITIVE FEELINGS WITHIN
YOU. THE FEELINGS OF BEING LOVE,WELL,COMPLETE.

PEOPLE PLACES AND THINGS ONLY TRIGGERS WHAT
YOU ALREADY HAVE.

IT JUST TAKES A LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT TO ALLOW
YOURSELF TO FEEL THOSE GOOD FEELINGS.
IN OTHER WORDS TRIGGER THOSE FLEEINGS YOURSEF.

 

[SophiaGrace]

To be honest the girl probably saw you as easy to string along, probably sensed you were lonely.

 

[putter65]

putter65 once you get in your head a chick may genuinely like you, you felt like you are the luckiest man on earth. In short it makes you feel like a man but if you had to pull teeth to do it in the way she made as you put it then it was doomed from the start. Chasing that feeling can make you do stupid stuff and cause heartbreak.

She was 8 years younger than me for a start and rather attractive. And a different nationality which made it more exciting.

There was red flags from the start and I should have walked ages ago but i didn't.

All my female friends have been great about it. I have had messages of love and support.

 

[Anten]

I have no idea what love is and being complete is something i could never be with or without someone. But you are trying to say you don't need to have someone to feel great and i get that.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Im not saying we all dont need to love or be loved.

Those are just healtier living tools and
copping skills that i learn or was passed
on to me.

Im a guy...but im very sensitive.
Ive put myself in various situations.
When it comes to LOVE and relationship
Its really hard for me to take feelings and
emotionals out of the equation.

Dating again when your over 40 after
Ive been in a LT relationship was a
challenge and a half.
I dregged it because of the games such
As PUTTER is experiencing.
But sitting home stairing at the 4 walls

Wasnt what i had in mind as a happy way to live either.

---

Im in a relationship now.
I love her with all my heart and soul.
She's the love of my life.

It hasn't been all peaches and cream.
Im very grateful for het love for me.
She loves me. I know this. I feel this.

But life situations at the moment is rather complicated.

 

[putter65]

To be honest the girl probably saw you as easy to string along, probably sensed you were lonely.

Your probably correct but why do women string along blokes ?

Why did she do this to me ?

 

[Anten]

Chicks may like the feeling they get when doing it.

You may never know.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Well, Potter
I did manage to date a woman half my age.
She was fun fun fun and harious as ****.
Shes gorevous. Im into hot white chicks.
We did make connections at some deep level.
Plus all my male friends were a bit enveous of me.
Which stroke my ego. She stroked me in more ways then one.

Like i said, she had a great sense of humor.
We were in a coffee shop oneday.
She said to me " YOURE SWEET AS SUGAR"
Im old enough to be her DADDY. Hahahaaaaa

---

I have a good semce of humor too.
Being sweet as I AM....
She started buying me dinner when we went out.

She did it out of spice. And would totally
Act out inappropriately in public restaurants.
Normally a SUgar Daddy is supposed to pay.
People would stair at us because I was a 45
Yr old Asian dude with a yoing hot 19 yt old.
It was just one big ass joke to **** with peoples head.
HER PAYING FOR THE BILLS...
Had the waiter wonderig....WTF??? Lmao

Like i said. She had a great semce of humor.

We both knew it wasn't gping to work or
The relationship wasn't seriouse.
Just a couple of souls going with the flow
Doimg whatever to past the time and having
Fun.

---

Plus we both knew society are very judgemental.

Everything we were doing was wrong,wrong,wrong.
Even the role of a sugar daddy people assume i was playing was wrong.lmao

 

[putter65]

Well, Potter
I did manage to date a woman half my age.
She was fun fun fun and harious as ****.
Shes gorevous. Im into hot white chicks.
We did make connections at some deep level.
Plus all my male friends were a bit enveous of me.
Which stroke my ego. She stroked me in more ways then one.

Like i said, she had a great sense of humor.
We were in a coffee shop oneday.
She said to me " YOURE SWEET AS SUGAR"
Im old enough to be her DADDY. Hahahaaaaa

---

I have a good semce of humor too.
Being sweet as I AM....
She started buying me dinner when we went out.

She did it out of spice. And would totally
Act out inappropriately in public restaurants.
Normally a SUgar Daddy is supposed to pay.
People would stair at us because I was a 45
Yr old Asian dude with a yoing hot 19 yt old.
It was just one big ass joke to **** with peoples head.
HER PAYING FOR THE BILLS...
Had the waiter wonderig....WTF??? Lmao

Like i said. She had a great semce of humor.

We both knew it wasn't gping to work or
The relationship wasn't seriouse.
Just a couple of souls going with the flow
Doimg whatever to past the time and having
Fun.

---

Plus we both knew society are very judgemental.

Everything we were doing was wrong,wrong,wrong.
Even the role of a sugar daddy people assume i was playing was wrong.lmao

---

---

The only thing I've learned from this is that been nice, kind, caring and understanding gets you nowhere !

 

[PurpleDays]

Probably not the right thread, but happy christmas, beautifuls <3

 

[putter65]

Probably not the right thread, but happy christmas, beautifuls <3

I felt miserable last xmas day and I feel miserable this one !

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Ive exposed to differnt women.
Lots of BAD GIRLS...

Thimgs these type of women say and do
Will truely amaze you.

You might get fool by the way they act.
They can put on a hell of show...
Anywhere from being a good mom,a professional,
To the sweet innocent girl next door.
All the thteads of personallities you look in
A mate will really **** you up.

There mentally and motives is this...
and they think its one big ass joke and
will laugh about it while they are playing men.
SUCKAAAAA!!!!!!

You bought into het EX being an abusive
Prick to het.....
And youre the nice guy thats gping to
Give hrt everthings

---

THATS WHY I DID WHAT I DID.
I GOT SICK AND TIRED OF SORTING
AND FILTERING.
THROUGH MY BEST EFFORT OF SORTING
IT ALWAYS GOT STICKY.
LIKE I SAID EVEN MY EXWF GOT THE BEST OF ME.
MY EXGF WAS A SOCIAL WORKER. BY ALL ACCOUNT
SHE SHOULD HAD BEEN THE MOST LOVING
AND CARING PERSON BECAUSE OF HER LINE
OF WORK. SHE WAS THE WORST OF THEM ALL.

 

[putter65]

Ive exposed to differnt women.
Lots of BAD GIRLS...

Thimgs these type of women say and do
Will truely amaze you.

You might get fool by the way they act.
They can put on a hell of show...
Anywhere from being a good mom,a professional,
To the sweet innocent girl next door.
All the thteads of personallities you look in
A mate will really **** you up.

There mentally and motives is this...
and they think its one big ass joke and
will laugh about it while they are playing men.
SUCKAAAAA!!!!!!

You bought into het EX being an abusive
Prick to het.....
And youre the nice guy thats gping to
Give hrt everthings

---

THATS WHY I DID WHAT I DID.
I GOT SICK AND TIRED OF SORTING
AND FILTERING.
THROUGH MY BEST EFFORT OF SORTING
IT ALWAYS GOT STICKY.
LIKE I SAID EVEN MY EXWF GOT THE BEST OF ME.
MY EXGF WAS A SOCIAL WORKER. BY ALL ACCOUNT
SHE SHOULD HAD BEEN THE MOST LOVING
AND CARING PERSON BECAUSE OF HER LINE
OF WORK. SHE WAS THE WORST OF THEM ALL.

---

She had problems and she was unhappy. With me been so understanding, I thought I was made for her.

Last Sunday when I gave her my presents she burst into tears. I held her and she cried on shoulder. I told her I would be 'there for her forever' -

I didn't sleep with her and I thought that was months away to be honest. Even though we did kiss quite alot when we said our goodbyes.

I don't think I'm missing her that much, I'm missing 'having someone' - I've been single forever, all my life. And for 2 months I had someone.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

I get ya...
I feel like that about my fiance.
Even though ive always been with someone most of my life. I missed
being with her.
Im not sure if the trouble is worth
The payoffs...at all levels I must
Think she is. Cause i choose to
Be with her.

My life is weird.
Whatever the meaning or feeling of
Love is.
Sometimes everything is elusive or
it feels that way.

AS LONG I TRY.
I Don't feel bad about myself.

I dont know what in the future.
I nevrr concieved of Renae and I being together.
From tbe moment I started dating 3 years ago.
Here i am, for the moment ill just experience
It for whatever it will be. The good the bad. All of it.
No lessons to learn,just breathing it all in.
I dont have all the answers. Life had shown me
that i dont have all the answers. And its ok.

---

Last xmas i spent wiith my entire family.
My parents,sisters and their husbands and
children.
I was sort of single. I was dating Francis.
She was basically indicisive as i was.
She wanted me to move in with her.
For some unknown reason or a gut
Feeling..i could never commit to her.
Basically I didn't love her.
Having a partner or seroous relationship
Just seem dull to me.

I wasnt happy

Renae contacted me late January.
Here I am , totally in love with her.
Chasing her across the cointry.
Jumping through hoops and doing
All konds of stuff. Going way way
Out of my way.....

LIFE CHANGES...IVE CHANGED

---

RENAE IS 41 yrs old. Shes basically my age.

 

[putter65]

I get ya...
I feel like that about my fiance.
Even though ive always been with someone most of my life. I missed
being with her.
Im not sure if the trouble is worth
The payoffs...at all levels I must
Think she is. Cause i choose to
Be with her.

My life is weird.
Whatever the meaning or feeling of
Love is.
Sometimes everything is elusive or
it feels that way.

AS LONG I TRY.
I Don't feel bad about myself.

I dont know what in the future.
I nevrr concieved of Renae and I being together.
From tbe moment I started dating 3 years ago.
Here i am, for the moment ill just experience
It for whatever it will be. The good the bad. All of it.
No lessons to learn,just breathing it all in.
I dont have all the answers. Life had shown me
that i dont have all the answers. And its ok.

---

Last xmas i spent wiith my entire family.
My parents,sisters and their husbands and
children.
I was sort of single. I was dating Francis.
She was basically indicisive as i was.
She wanted me to move in with her.
For some unknown reason or a gut
Feeling..i could never commit to her.
Basically I didn't love her.
Having a partner or seroous relationship
Just seem dull to me.

I wasnt happy

Renae contacted me late January.
Here I am , totally in love with her.
Chasing her across the cointry.
Jumping through hoops and doing
All konds of stuff. Going way way
Out of my way.....

LIFE CHANGES...IVE CHANGED

---

RENAE IS 41 yrs old. Shes basically my age.

---

---

Two people I know are engaged, it says on my facebook.

You've gone thru alot more than me. Like I've said it wasn't great but it was something. Will it lead to more women and dates though ?

 

[Lonesome Crow]

15yrs ago. After a 6 yrs relationship.
After the whinning and crying.
I started dating. At 29 , i felt i was too old.lol

I asked 5 to 6 women out. They all rejected me.lol
Then i bitch and moaned.

Then i finally got a date.
She fucken stood me up.lol
Then i bitch cuase i spent
money on comcert tickets.

Then i met someone.
She strung me alomg for a
month.
That was a bit up setting.
So i started gpong to church.lol

Then i just started asking different women
Out just for kicks and giggles.
Most didnt returned my cals.

Then i met someone. We started going out.
Then i asked someone else out, we went out
on the first night.
Then women that i asked out months proor

---

I ended up going out with 4-5 women.

Then i moved in with someone.
She actaully let me date the women
Ive asked out.....

Then i stopped dating. I had a 15 yrs
Relationship with her.
For the most part it was good.
it was peaceful for a good 12 yrs.

---

So after that break up...
I wasn't looking forward to dating,
Especially being over 40.

I nevered thought i date a 19 yr old either.

LIFE GOES ON.

IM NOT SURE WHAT WILL HAPPEN
WITH Renae and I.

But Life will go on, one way or the other.

---

For the most part...
Most people wouldn't suggest i be
With Renae.
Its rocky and very uncertain.
Very unstable and toxic.

If i had to take my own advice,
I wouldn't be with her either.

I love Renae very much.

 

[putter65]

I asked a woman (a co worker) for a coffee this morning and she agreed.

She doesn't have much to say for herself and it was a bit boring. She is very flirty at work though.

That's one thing I liked about her old girlfriend, she never stopped talking.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Cool.....
Just go with the flow.
Enjoy it fot whatever it is.