Misogyny Festers Here

[user 150037]

Resentment is a choice - if you tell yourself that you want to hate the opposite sex, then your brain will block out all the times your own gender has 'hurt or betrayed' you, and instead it'll fixate on everything the opposite gender has done.

Hence the misandry/misogyny.

 

[Forgottendanfan]

Resentment is a choice - if you tell yourself that you want to hate the opposite sex, then your brain will block out all the times your own gender has 'hurt or betrayed' you, and instead it'll fixate on everything the opposite gender has done.

Hence the misandry/misogyny.

I don't hate the opposite sex. I have equal hatred for everyone.

 

[ardour]

Resentment is a choice - if you tell yourself that you want to hate the opposite sex, then your brain will block out all the times your own gender has 'hurt or betrayed' you, and instead it'll fixate on everything the opposite gender has done.

Hence the misandry/misogyny.

The majority of the overtly nasty people I've encountered have been men of course, but there's plenty of women  quite happy to accept it; to let men sort it out between themselves then pick out the confident, assertive ones as partners, effectively rewarding the pecking order behaviour.

Considering the worst guys I've known, none of them are single now, they all have wives and children. It's the broken, depressed men who got the worst of it during adolescence that end up alone. So I have limited sympathy for complaints about the male gaze, beauty standards etc. Generally women don't end up alone forever or killing themselves over these issues.

 

[Efbee]

Considering the worst guys I've known, none of them are single now, they all have wives and children. It's the broken, depressed men who got the worst of it during adolescence that end up alone. So I have limited sympathy for complaints about the male gaze, beauty standards etc. Generally women don't end up alone forever or killing themselves over these issues.

How so very misogynistic of you! Why isn't it no surprise!?! You dirty privileged bearded white aging man!  :club:  

 

[Finished]

Re-reading this thread again made me smile. Thanks.

 

[Efbee]

Re-reading this thread again made me smile. Thanks.

  Glad I could be of some help.

 

[theablekingathelstan]

Can something please be done about the deluge of thinly-veiled misogynistic posts?

Thread after thread after thread, by the same 3-4 individuals. It never ends. It's basically masturbatory at this point.

We get it. You're keen to blame your lack of romantic success on some phantom of biological psychology that you believe predisposes women to being vapid and shallow. The same tired points and cherry-picked studies are shared on dedicated incel and MGTOW forums. I really wish I wasn't being confronted with them here.

I've seen nothing but patience and attempts at understanding from the women here but the aforementioned posters are just too wedded to the idea that there's something fundamentally corrupt about the female brain. They frame their misogyny with self-deprecation but that doesn't make it not misogyny.

I'd love for this forum to be a welcoming place where I can come and just chill with other lonely people, network, and maybe even make friends. But every time I log in I'm met with the same ridiculous arguments and bitter attitudes. It's exhausting.

Fully expect to get pushback for posting this. But there you go.

People would be better off if they took the time to realise things can suck. 
I don't thinik i'll ever understand that mode of thinking.

 

[TheSkaFish]

The majority of the overtly nasty people I've encountered have been men of course, but there's plenty of women  quite happy to accept it; to let men sort it out between themselves then pick out the confident, assertive ones as partners, effectively rewarding the pecking order behaviour.

Considering the worst guys I've known, none of them are single now, they all have wives and children. It's the broken, depressed men who got the worst of it during adolescence that end up alone. So I have limited sympathy for complaints about the male gaze, beauty standards etc. Generally women don't end up alone forever or killing themselves over these issues.

^I've experienced this too. 

But dwelling on it just drives you crazy. It's best to just say that women who value bad men, are just incompatible with you and your personality/worldview, and try to find someone who doesn't think that way. It's all you can do.

 

[Hallyonprime]

It does make a man feel lonely and out of place to see all these attractive yet pos guys hit and abuse there gfs or wives and they stay with these men all the while if you yourself are not "masculine" you are never seen as valuable to the opposite sex

it does make me wonder what women actually value in a mate I'm 30 and I've had maybe 5 gfs in my life and 1 serious relationship so idk if I would be a suitable partner ( because lack of relationship experience) but I know I would never treat a woman like some of these men do

people say oh well just be attentive and listen to them when your on a date but don't give them too much attention or they will see you as simping and all these "rules" to follow I swear dating seems like trying to navigate a minefield why can't men and women say what they want/ need up front? Why do these games have to be played?

Another problem I see especially on online dating sites are women who want a man with a house 2 cars and an amazing job while in return all they are bringing to the table are themselves shouldn't you get with someone because you like each other and build up to all that stuff? Together? As a guy it's so much harder in the dating world women have so many choices and guys don't yeah because of having all those choices women have bad experience but I would rather have that than nothing at all anyway sorry for the rant I had to get it off my chest and to the OP do what that one person said and just block the people you don't want to see or don't read there threads nobody is making you

 

[user 139760]

Well, I do "miss" the good ol' days when someone was bemoaning the lack of chivalry in today's society and heavily chastised those who were not willing to sacrifice the life of a man for that of a woman in a titanic-like crisis situation.

Considering the amount of female victims on the Titanic to begin with, I think that notion is probably greatly exagerated ;-)

Misogyny festers everywhere. But actually going about "cleaning up" a forum of it entails discarding the very notion of what a forum is supposed to be; open discourse. Besides which, if some people hold those kinds of views, I see it more as a reflection of a problem needs solving with MORE discourse than something that needs muzzling. If some men feel that way, it should be explored nd viewed not taken personally.

 

[user 115627]

Considering the amount of female victims on the Titanic to begin with, I think that notion is probably greatly exagerated ;-)

Wow, you actually get notifications when somebody quotes your post now. That's convenient.

It's been so long that I even had that discussion with somebody here. I did learn more about the exact numbers later on, you can look them up, they are well enough documented. I didn't calculate them myself, but if you wanna go by percentages more children died on the Titanic than women did. Roughly 50% vs 25%. Notice the class divisions though. If there was such a thing as chivalry, it was never much of a lower class deal.

 

[kaetic]

Guess we better make sure we have enough life boats then.
Who is in charge of that?

 

[TheRealCallie]

Guess we better make sure we have enough life boats then.
Who is in charge of that?

You

 

[kaetic]

You

Oh damn, we're screwed.
Sorry guys.

 

[ardour]

There's also a slightly skewed gender ratio. About 1% more males are born. Men have a higher mortality rate so this evens by about age 60, then eventually skews female - But by that time it's far too late for dating/relationships.

Someone put it this way.

"If you have 1.01 million men, and 1.0 million women, and (unrealistically) pair off 99.99%, your final remaining group is then obviously significantly more men. Factor in all the various societal factors and it gets a whole lot worse easily"

 

[JJW]

Throwing around the word misogyny, just because feelings aren't neat and tidy enough for you, is silly. And damaging.

I would argue that Aardra has as much right to post her discomforts as do those she is speaking of. Isn't it all just feelings? Is it not so that your post is bitter because she nurpled your sensibilities? I'm on her side. I think people that degrade others are covering for their own sense of inferiority, and being loud about it is simply a cry to be noticed.

 

[Abstamyous]

I would argue that Aardra has as much right to post her discomforts as do those she is speaking of. Isn't it all just feelings? Is it not so that your post is bitter because she nurpled your sensibilities? I'm on her side. I think people that degrade others are covering for their own sense of inferiority, and being loud about it is simply a cry to be noticed.

I respect your opinion. I'm sure her side has great snacks.

 

[TheSkaFish]

I would argue that Aardra has as much right to post her discomforts as do those she is speaking of. Isn't it all just feelings? Is it not so that your post is bitter because she nurpled your sensibilities? I'm on her side. I think people that degrade others are covering for their own sense of inferiority, and being loud about it is simply a cry to be noticed.

Actually I have some room for understanding for Aardra, since it can't be easy to be in her situation. And sure, she's as free to speak her mind as anyone here. But at the same time, I feel like a lot of the things she said were exaggerations, stuff that got blown way out of proportion.

There's a lot less misogyny here, than just people being, well...lonely. Calling them misogynists is like saying a poor person who complains about money from time to time and has had some bad days, is a militant communist that hates America, apple pie, and baseball, or a lazy hippie that just wants to get high and get free stuff. It just inflames and polarizes things that much more. Degrading others, especially the ones who aren't the real degraders, isn't much of a solution. They're just a convenient whipping boy.

Suppose you're a down and out guy having a hard time understanding the dating world and maybe you vent a bit from time to time. Someone calling you a misogynist for that, isn't going to want to make you come around to see things their way. There's no incentive. If anything you'll feel like it's even more proof you're being rejected and just get even angrier or pessimistic. Then they call you a misogynist some more, and both of you just double down on your views. It's just like what's going on in politics today - more and more polarization.

Also, as I've said time and again - you won't find too many real misogynists here, because they're not lonely -
in fact, they've almost always been popular.

 

[JJW]

or a lazy hippie that just wants to get high and get free stuff.

You say that like it's a bad thing. ;-)

I'm just saying, if they condemn all women because they can't get a date, or any other reason, then it is fair to call it misogyny.

 

[TheSkaFish]

You say that like it's a bad thing. ;-)

I'm just saying, if they condemn all women because they can't get a date, or any other reason, then it is fair to call it misogyny.

It's not a bad thing at all at least not if you ask me. It could be a lot worse.

I don't think a lot of people on here are condemning all women though. Not to the extent that Aardra was saying (and not to the extent that players are misogynistic, on a regular basis). But that's just my impression.

I also think you can be, "not a fan" of how attraction seems to work, but without actually disliking women (otherwise, why would you be trying to date one?). Hating the game, not the players. So to speak.

So far I've agreed with a lot of your posts. Just not so much these two in this thread. It's OK though. Nobody agrees on everything all the time.