My best friend's drifting apart from me...

[djc]

I only really ever have a close relationship with my best friend, and now it's slowly drifting apart.

Long story short because you don't have the time and I'm really sick of describing it all the time, but I'll give you guys as much as you need to know:

• last year: friend and her boyfriend meet. Me and friend have a great time chatting in secret about her plans for him and how everything will be great.
• new years 2010 (last year): a few days before, she asked him out. it is just me, her and him together in his house for new years eve and we have a great time.
• jan-feb-mar 2010: we have a great time seeing each other as friends (and them boy/girlfriend)
• early summer 2010: he changes dramatically.

He refuses to speak to me except when he has to in school lessons with me. He won't let me talk to her and regularly checks her phone for messages to/from me (she has to delete them all every 5 minutes). Me and her cannot be seen to be friends at all. We sat next to each other in a class and he went to the teacher and said "she doesn't want to sit next to him anymore but she doesn't want to say it herself". It's really annoying that I have to see them two together at school, she is acting like it's all fine and smiling and teasing him and I'm just sitting there trying to get on with my work or being with whatever little friends I have left. Because he's turned some of them against me too. It sickens me. She's asked him why and he doesn't even know why he does it... I don't know what to do. I don't have anyone else that will be friends with me both in and out of school. I don't know why. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong.

Sorry.

 

[Poueff]

He's jealous.

 

[djc]

I always thought that, but what does he have to be jealous of? This isn't just me putting myself down, he is leagues above me... there is no threat I pose to their relationship. The only threat is him annoying her so much.

...I just hate when people bring up group pictures and in the corner is us three, back when we were allowed to be friends.

 

[Poueff]

I always thought that, but what does he have to be jealous of? This isn't just me putting myself down, he is leagues above me... there is no threat I pose to their relationship. The only threat is him annoying her so much.

...I just hate when people bring up group pictures and in the corner is us three, back when we were allowed to be friends.

Who cares if he's "leagues above you" (at least on your opinion)? Last year a friend of mine who was classed as a nerd 'stole' a girl from a guy two years older than us who was basicly a player. I'll give you my example from some years ago and you'll get the picture:

So,I was in a relationship for two months at the time and my girl started hanging out with an old friend of mine who was,and still is,short,geeky (not nerdy),and who basicly looked like a baby. But even still,he was our age,and I started receiving jokes that JP (him) would put baby oil on her and ****. Well,I wasn't particularily jealous cause I know she wouldn't betray me,but even so...

Moral of the story: He has a ****,he's menace

 

[LGH1288]

Hi djc -- What is all boils down to is that your best GF has decided not to maintain a relationship with you either because 1) she's not a loyal friend, 2) she's unable to assert herself to her BF, 3) she's no longer interested in staying friends with you, or 4) some combo thereof. It's got nothing to do with her BF; it's not his call. If your GF cared about the friendship with you she'd dump her BF if he was making unreasonable demands. It sounds like she could be hiding behind him as an excuse. I'm not sure. Give her time, find a new friend, see what happens. You didn't specify your age but this sounds like a teenage issue. I don't think most adults would tolerate this type of crap from a best friend. LG

 

[djc]

Oh I suppose. But when he's not around she's still the same as she was before all of this happened; it's just awkward getting to see her in the first place!

I'll think of something to do.

Thanks for the help guys.

 

[VanillaCreme]

I'm sorry, but no boyfriend would ever tell me that I can't be friends with someone. If I had a guy tell me that, I'd look the other way. So, it's not really him as much as it is her. You have to ask yourself, how much of this will she continue to allow instead of saying something about it to him. Do you even want a friend like that?