My enemy is myself

[BeyondShy]

Good Lord. You-know-who is going to kill me but you know something? One has a right to speak freely in his own thread.

 

[okidoke]

Well she was nasty to me and I don't care for her but I did say i hoped her surgery went well. Or did you miss that? Probably.

No, I didn't miss that.

You see you were one of them that fawned all over her. And I could care less. You have your own friends in here.

"Fawned"? LOL, mate I don't fawn over any one here and attempt to be considerate to all.

I've heard that phrase from people in here a lot and it means nothing to me. In real life like I said, not one time. It is a phrase people use on the internet to insult others and at the same time deny that they did.

Well I wasn't using it to insult you. I was just pointing out the tone of your comment.

 

[BeyondShy]

No, I didn't miss that.

Hooray.

"Fawned"? LOL, mate I don't fawn over any one here and attempt to be considerate to all.

Yeah, you keep on telling yourself that.

Well I wasn't using it to insult you. I was just pointing out the tone of your comment.

I don't care! Can you guess my tone now?

 

[okidoke]

Holy Cow dude. Is it really your goal to come on here once a year for a couple weeks and create as much chaos as possible? Throwing around anger emojis because you get called out on your controversial comments? Why dude, why? How about coming back in and being pleasant for two weeks, or is this just the place you have to let loose for a bit of respite from the real world? Far out. You're like a friggin' tornado.

 

[Abstamyous]

Good Lord. You-know-who is going to kill me but you know something? One has a right to speak freely in his own thread.

View attachment 9677

She's very old now. I imagine that has affected her swing.

 

[BeyondShy]

She's very old now. I imagine that has affected her swing.

One thing that I have learned is to never underestimate that wonderful woman.

 

[TheSkaFish]

Keep your friends close but your enemies closer.

...

This is not the way forward, man. Not the way to getting better.
It's the way back down.
Very rarely does a person make things better by being a hater. It just doesn't work.
And the kind of person who actually DOES become successful by being a hater, is usually not the kind of person you want to be.

Sometimes I would agree there are things worth fighting about here, but I would say the vast majority of the time, it isn't worth it.


I know I've said something to this effect before, but no one has it out for you here.
You just seem to think they do, which puts you on the defensive.

It makes you take the approach of,
"hit them before they hit me, because I KNOW they want to, and I KNOW that they're going to anyway".

And that makes it a self-fulfilling prophecy, when there didn't need to be, and likely wasn't going to be, a situation in the first place.
People don't like getting accused of or faulted for things that they didn't do,
so if you're doing that right out of the gate, out of assuming the worst and anticipating an attack,
that's going to sour them on you and start you off on the wrong foot.
But had you not done that, they wouldn't have been hostile to you necessarily.
They might have even been friendly.

I'd say the majority of people here are friendly.
Ever so often, you'll get someone who really isn't, you'll get someone who really does mean to do bad.
But those people are few and far between.
Odds are, most people here are nice, and therefore are not out to antagonize you - unless of course you create the situation by antagonizing them first out of accusing them of wronging you.
But if you hadn't done that, it wouldn't have been that way.


I'd encourage you to take a step back and consider editing your post to "nevermind" or something similar, or at least editing the anger out of it.
Just say it was a mistake, a bad habit, and move forward more consciously.

Keep in mind you only have 24 hours from the original time of your post, to do this.

Just write it off, say you got off to a rough start. Take a mulligan, and try again.

It's like the title of this very thread "My Enemy is Myself".
That's what you're doing here, and you seem to be aware of it to a degree, but you have to make it stick.
Try not to be an enemy to yourself this year. Be a friend to yourself, instead.

 

[TheRealCallie]

I agree with everything Oki and Ska said. I wouldn't say Ceno and I were friends, but while she did get carried away sometimes, she did bring life back to this forum. She never did anything to you other than to annoy you. There are no rules against annoying something as long as it doesn't become harassment, which it did not. KINDNESS will get you a lot more in life than petty judgments that you are often wrong about.

Ceno isn't even here anymore, so what's the point of this? What happens if she was here? What happens is she was on the edge? What happens if she used this forum as a way to distract herself from her own problems and she came on here to see that she got attacked. How do you think that would make her feel? How do you think you would feel if someone did that to you? Hell, how would you feel if someone wrote something like that about me? Would it still be perfectly okay because that's their opinion and they are entitled to speak it and anyone who disagrees also deserves to be attacked?

She's very old now. I imagine that has affected her swing.

The only thing that hurts my swing is when I have multiple people to swing at

 

[BeyondShy]

Holy Cow dude. Is it really your goal to come on here once a year for a couple weeks and create as much chaos as possible? Throwing around anger emojis because you get called out on your controversial comments? Why dude, why? How about coming back in and being pleasant for two weeks, or is this just the place you have to let loose for a bit of respite from the real world? Far out. You're like a friggin' tornado.

No it is not. Now if you were here a few years ago and had said this to me I would have been really mad. I don’t like what you said but at the same time there is not any reason for me to blow a gasket about it. I look forward to my return and when Thanksgiving rolls around I know I will be back soon. Not to be a tornado but to see people I hold in high regard.

I agree with everything Oki and Ska said. I wouldn't say Ceno and I were friends, but while she did get carried away sometimes, she did bring life back to this forum. She never did anything to you other than to annoy you. There are no rules against annoying something as long as it doesn't become harassment, which it did not. KINDNESS will get you a lot more in life than petty judgments that you are often wrong about.

Yes, well, ok. Thinking about it sums everything up in a way that’s both obvious and in no way open to dispute from myself no matter how I look at it.

Ceno isn't even here anymore, so what's the point of this? What happens if she was here? What happens is she was on the edge? What happens if she used this forum as a way to distract herself from her own problems and she came on here to see that she got attacked. How do you think that would make her feel? How do you think you would feel if someone did that to you? Hell, how would you feel if someone wrote something like that about me? Would it still be perfectly okay because that's their opinion and they are entitled to speak it and anyone who disagrees also deserves to be attacked?

I do understand that she isn’t here anymore and if she was here she’d probably laugh off what I said and take pleasure that she was able to get to me. I really do not think that I was that hard on her. All I did say was that she was self-absorbed. Go and read what I wrote again. Hell, even she’d probably agree. I also hoped that her surgery went well too and that was somehow overlooked. Yes I found her annoying but at the same time I hoped that whatever surgery she had was not a serious one and that it was very successful. I never wish for bad things on anyone.

All I did do was give my opinion on her from how I saw her on this website. Many people in here have given their opinion on me whether I wanted it or not and they did not know me but that didn’t stop them.

But I would rather have someone do that to me then put you through it. For me that is a different story. You have been attacked in here for no reason except for the fact the other person did not agree with your honest opinion of them. This has happened more times than I can count.

If there was a chance that someone in here would have attacked her for her race or whatever reason like that I would be defending her and no one would have to tell me to do it. To me that is completely different from what I said. That would be going over the line. I just did a personal opinion not shared by this consensus.

Even though there seems to be a different set of rules of what is acceptable here (honest opinions from everyone about me? Go ahead. If I do the same thing? Nope.) I still am sorry to bring this up and I do offer my apologies. Sometimes I try to open up around here but in this case I went the wrong route. I admit this. I’ll keep trying.

 

[147]

there seems to be a different set of rules of what is acceptable here

I've only been here a little while, but that there is very clearly the case.

That's all I wanted to say. I'm not taking sides to anyone in this thread, fyi.

 

[Serenia]

Hellooooo, welcome back! I hope you're well

 

[TheRealCallie]

she’d probably laugh off what I said and take pleasure that she was able to get to me.

She never appeared to like it when she got to people. As a matter of fact, she was always apologetic when she did so, even when she wasn't in the wrong. But that's surface, you have no idea how she really felt on the inside. The side she didn't show anyone. We all do that, we all hide what we don't want others to see. We all hide our vulnerabilities. You and I have no idea what she really felt on the inside because we didn't know her.

And everyone saw that you wished her surgery went well. The point is that the tirade overshadowed any well wishes you had for her.

All I did do was give my opinion on her from how I saw her on this website. Many people in here have given their opinion on me whether I wanted it or not and they did not know me but that didn’t stop them.

You went on a long winded tirade about someone who hasn't posted in almost a year. Someone who was about to have surgery and no one knows (or no one is saying) if she's okay or not. So no, it was most definitely not necessary to give that particular opinion because it's irrelevant at this point.

But I would rather have someone do that to me then put you through it. For me that is a different story. You have been attacked in here for no reason except for the fact the other person did not agree with your honest opinion of them. This has happened more times than I can count.

One difference between me and most others on this forum...including you. Being attacked here doesn't bother me. I can handle it because the people who attack me know nothing about me. They are just random people on the internet who have no idea about who I am or why I'm here. I can separate that because I worked my way through my issues and I know who I am. The people who care about me know who I am. The people who take the time to get to know me in spite of everything people here (and elsewhere) say about me know who I am. Those are the people that matter. The rest don't. But, that said, I can read those attacks and logically analyze whether or not they have a point and attempt to course correct myself because I am always looking to be a better me than I was yesterday.

Even though there seems to be a different set of rules of what is acceptable here (honest opinions from everyone about me? Go ahead. If I do the same thing? Nope.)

That hasn't happened anywhere near the amount of times you think it has. I'm not saying it's never happened. There have been clearcut insults against you here, but those people are gone. Time to realize that and maybe get to know the NEW people that are here. You can take down the walls a little bit and try again.

As for different rules. That's the case anywhere, not just here. It's just a part of life, whether we like it or not. But in the end, whether everyone is treated the same or not....if you don't do something wrong, if you aren't rude, if you aren't combative, it doesn't matter, right? Like you said, it's happened to me countless times. I choose to take the high road and let it go. The high road is very scenic, perhaps you should travel down it a little more.

 

[BeyondShy]

She never appeared to like it when she got to people. As a matter of fact, she was always apologetic when she did so, even when she wasn't in the wrong. But that's surface, you have no idea how she really felt on the inside. The side she didn't show anyone. We all do that, we all hide what we don't want others to see. We all hide our vulnerabilities. You and I have no idea what she really felt on the inside because we didn't know her.

And everyone saw that you wished her surgery went well. The point is that the tirade overshadowed any well wishes you had for her.

I didn’t know this.

It’s true that we have no idea how she really felt on the inside and we can also say that about anyone else. Sometimes I call this the 3:00 in the morning feeling. What wakes you up sometimes that you can’t get out of your mind? What bothers you? It’s usually something that you keep to yourself.

One difference between me and most others on this forum...including you. Being attacked here doesn't bother me. I can handle it because the people who attack me know nothing about me. They are just random people on the internet who have no idea about who I am or why I'm here. I can separate that because I worked my way through my issues and I know who I am. The people who care about me know who I am. The people who take the time to get to know me in spite of everything people here (and elsewhere) say about me know who I am. Those are the people that matter. The rest don't. But, that said, I can read those attacks and logically analyze whether or not they have a point and attempt to course correct myself because I am always looking to be a better me than I was yesterday.

You are not kidding here. I have never seen anyone handle being attacked in here as well and as easy as you have done over the years. I recall when I was still here year round how people would get on your case every day. And it was quite a lot too. I couldn’t take it anymore and I began to defend you and by the way I don’t regret for a second doing that.

So yes, you had it harder than I did. To this day it bugs me that you went through that.

The people who took the time to get to know you in spite of the insults and comments hurled at you are the lucky ones and that is how I consider myself to be.

That hasn't happened anywhere near the amount of times you think it has. I'm not saying it's never happened. There have been clearcut insults against you here, but those people are gone. Time to realize that and maybe get to know the NEW people that are here. You can take down the walls a little bit and try again.

As for different rules. That's the case anywhere, not just here. It's just a part of life, whether we like it or not. But in the end, whether everyone is treated the same or not....if you don't do something wrong, if you aren't rude, if you aren't combative, it doesn't matter, right? Like you said, it's happened to me countless times. I choose to take the high road and let it go. The high road is very scenic, perhaps you should travel down it a little more.

I do like the way you describe it. The high road is really the only way to handle the daily goings on around here. But as I explained to you many times in the past I am someone who takes things very personal and every time I have told you this your answer was the same. You gave me a frying pan.

I’ve been here 9 1/2 years and it was a culture shock for me when I first got here. I figured joining a website that dealt with lonely lives, hence the name, would have been more supportive. I think I would have received more support if I joined a Boston Red Sox fan site even though I am a Yankee fan. So I got here with the intent of making friends, got rejected again and again and then I lost all patience and fought back hard. You know all this but not so much the others.

Here is where I got to kick myself. Like you said a lot of them are gone now. Give myself a chance. Well, why not? I have about twelve days left and I am intent on leaving with a smile on my face and not upset like I was last year.

 

[BeyondShy]

I've only been here a little while, but that there is very clearly the case.

That's all I wanted to say. I'm not taking sides to anyone in this thread, fyi.

Let me give you some advice if I may. There's a lot of good people here and if you read the latest posts in this thread you'll see some. I'm only here for a short while.

Hellooooo, welcome back! I hope you're well

THANK GOD!!! I missed you Serenia.

 

[okidoke]

Sometimes things may appear a certain way by accident too. For example, if I see a post that I personally think needs to be called out, but there has already been a number of posts after it because I’m slow to see it due to time zone lags, then I won’t bother. The moment has passed. If I happen to be the first to see such a post then I might comment. It doesn’t mean I’m treating people differently. So that’s one way things may appear to be unfair.

I do hope your two weeks here are worthwhile. I’m still unsure why you do it like that, but that’s your business.

Xmas is almost here and the beginning of a new year, so let’s hope it’s pleasant for all of us.

 

[BeyondShy]

Sometimes things may appear a certain way by accident too. For example, if I see a post that I personally think needs to be called out, but there has already been a number of posts after it because I’m slow to see it due to time zone lags, then I won’t bother. The moment has passed. If I happen to be the first to see such a post then I might comment. It doesn’t mean I’m treating people differently. So that’s one way things may appear to be unfair.

Well that makes sense. But you should post anyway because your opinion may be the best one.

I do hope your two weeks here are worthwhile. I’m still unsure why you do it like that, but that’s your business.

I honestly don't want to. But when I was here year round it was tough. The hardest part for me is not to be able to talk to my good friend Callie.

Xmas is almost here and the beginning of a new year, so let’s hope it’s pleasant for all of us.

Yes, and healthy for all of us.

 

[TropicalStarfish]