My funeral

[constant stranger]

My family will look better in death, represented by our granite gravestones (arranged for by me) than we ever did when we were alive.

Not very many people will be present at the little rural cemetery when my earthly remains get lowered into the ground 'cause not many people knew me when I was alive. But I want them to see the coffin go down, throw a bit of dirt or any other token onto the box, say "Bon voyage" to my soul then go and have a bit of fun somewhere.

 

[desiderio]

Hi,

Just wanted to say, I appreciate BadInside's list. I think it was likely started by The Great Gatsby, when I started to think about who would attend my funeral... At least back then in high school there would probably have been a dozen or so non-blood attendees... These days, it would just be blood family, and the wife...

More so though than thinking about my funeral/'s attendance... and again going back to Gatsby... I think of my epitaph. I think I'd go with...

He hadn't an enemy in the world.
And none of his friends liked him.

d.

 

[Despicable Me]

I think that's why I said I'm "sort of" a Buddhist, as a lot of it doesn't make sense once you start to really think about it (or at least when I think about it). I don't believe in a soul, but it's hard to argue with the fact that our atoms are recycled all the time - whether any other energy goes with them I don't know, but quantum theory predicts that even universes are being recycled from old ones all the time so who knows!

There are so many different Buddhisms - of course Tibetan Buddhism believes in reincarnation, but others believe something different. Some quite famous Buddhist teachers have really alienated me by suggesting "don't worry if things go wrong in this life, you'll get another one" which is completely at odds with what the Buddha taught in the first place as he taught that effectively there is no "you" that is fixed! And Zen Buddhists do not believe in it at all!

The Buddhism I prefer is what gets to the heart of what the Buddha said himself - "I teach only suffering and the end of suffering". I see it as a set of tools that can be used, a way of relating to experience that reduces the clinging to things as we wish them to be rather than how they actually are. My favourite Buddhist teacher is Gil Fronsdal (he has a lot of talks at Audiodharma) and I don't think he's ever mentioned reincarnation once. He trained in Zen to start with, and I think a lot of Zen appeals to me, as it's about the here and now, and is very human.

http://zen-buddhism.net/faq/zen-faq.html

This article may be of interest on the reincarnation:

http://dharmafield.org/resources/texts/what-the-buddha-never-taught/

Not to get into the details of this in this topic, but perhaps the reason a Buddhist might suggest not to worry about this life and you'll get another is the very fact there is no 'you'. Buddhists believe you are an impermanent object, not afixed to this 'self'. So not worrying of this 'self' and perceiving that there are other lives is along the lines of Buddhism. It may be indirectly assumed by the speakers that this teaching applies to many levels of understanding and that those who understand the Buddha's true teachings that they would understand what is truly meant by having 'another life'.
Though I will agree that religious leaders (of all kinds) especially the 'famous' ones are often not very knowledgeable about their own religion and will say some pretty stupid things sometimes. So who knows.

I'll also note that Zen Buddhism is not exactly Buddhism. It is a branch of Buddhism that developed from the combination between Buddhism and Taoism, as well as the cultural influences of Japan. This was due to the fact that Buddhism and Taoism were used to understand each other for a long period of time before the Japanese were involved and took back what they had learned. Many of the teachings which don't align with other Buddhist principles or teachings are often due to the fact that they were taken from Taoism instead, or using a Taoist perspective. Though, Chinese Buddhism is some of the same, with many Taoist influences. Many people actually believe that Zen Buddhism is more closely related to Taoism than Buddhism, others disagree and believe the (Buddhism) name to be appropriate. Inevitably it's really just a mix and it's own thing, really.

And for anyone wondering what Buddhism actually teaches about reincarnation, as opposed to the more modern misportrayal that WalkingDead was speaking of it often being depicted as, it is, at least in the way that I can word it most simply, that there is no 'self' but that we are all part of the same thing. That each life we see as individual is in fact part of the 'self' we exist as now, but under a different perspective and mind due to how the body works. There is also no permanence, so all things must change, including the universe and reality as we know it. So 'reincarnation' is the understanding that all things see themselves as 'selves' and that this state is ever-changing and that one day this 'you' may awake as something else, having forgotten everything about who you once were. Perhaps in a different universe or reality than the one we now know.
Buddhism teaches that true understanding of this wisdom, that there is no true separation among things in an ever-changing existence, is the enlightenment that brings all things to an end, reaching Nirvana which is the ultimate perfection of all things.

Just some trivia there for you guys, I guess.

I'm hoping the topic creator is okay. They have not replied to anything.

 

[Tiina63]

It is hard to know who will be at my funeral as I don't know who I will know when I die. If I were to die soon, then the members of the Aspergers support group I go to would come, along with maybe one or two friends.

 

[dd11]

I guess I don't understand why this is something to really think about? It is beyond our control. We won't know anyway.

 

[BeyondShy]

I guess I don't understand why this is something to really think about? It is beyond our control. We won't know anyway.

I agree.

 

[Tiina63]

I think that many people who wonder about it are people who (like me) don't really feel we matter to anyone very much while we are alive and so we wonder if our passing will make any impact on anyone.

 

[No_Nickname]

I should write a will. If I die tomorrow, my mother will plan my funeral and make it all about her.

 

[desiderio]

Who wouldn't like to think that when they die, lots of people will be impacted... that people will care that they are gone... I guess that's just something I've always felt, particularly when for instance watching public funerals, such as Diana's, or Graham Kennedy, even Steve Irwin.

And, of course, for those of us who have little self esteem, it then becomes the issue that we know we wont be getting a massive state funeral... in fact, we'll be lucky to fill a small room... Who will be there? Will people come across the country? Will people even know I'm gone...