My Lonely Story

[tehdreamer]

I was always pretty isolated as a child and learned to enjoy my own company. I felt lonely sometimes, but it was never really a major feeling. Then, in my early teens, I discovered the interwebz and learned to talk with different people. As life progressed, I spent more and more time around others.

I never did quiet develop a ton of social skills though because of my shyness. I'm socially awkward and even when I feel comfortable, I'm still pretty introverted, so I'm just quiet person. People don't understand this and they take my quiet nature to mean I don't want to be bothered. Few people take the time to get to know me as a person before dismissing me as stand-offish or weird. Because of this, I've had much better luck in meeting friends online than offline.

My problem is that my online friendships rarely last beyond a year or so and I tend to make friends with people who live too far away to ever meet in person. I don't know if it's the whole "virtual" factor that drives apart these friendships or if people just get bored of me. It's also possible that people just don't care to hear about my problems in life. I don't know. But do I know, no one's going to stay around for very long before I'm left alone again.

Recently, I've had this phenomenon occur again; losing contact with several friends at once. As a result, I really have no close friends left to talk to. Most days I spend nearly the entire day alone, wandering the internet, looking for someone to talk to. Even communication with my best friend has lessened to the point where we only txt once or twice a week.

I've been sick for over a year now, so I can't work and the only time I really leave the house is for doctor appointments. I'm feeling incredibly depressed and isolated from the rest of the world.

 

[Venetia]

Illness does isolate us even further. It seems like a double whammy. We are already lonely and illness adds to it. Friends just give up and disappear.

Thank heavens for the internet! I wish you well.

 

[tehdreamer]

Well, the internet isn't helping too much either. Keeping internet friends never works for me either.

 

[edgecrusher]

i know how you feel. im pretty socially akward myself. i have had the same problem with people not sticking around in my life. all the people that i called good friends at one point are gone now and doing there own thing. theres only one that i still regularly talk to and it wont even be that when he gets deployed over seas for a year or more (hes in the army now). aside from work i spend most of my time in my room alone playing video games and watching movies or tv shows. as a result i have found it hard to let people get close to me. i am trying to get close to this woman but its just not happening and it only makes me feel more alone and somewhat depressed at times. i live with my sister and shes awesome but we are both pretty quiet people and dont go out much except for the occasional starbucks trip, lol. this place is my first real attempt at finding people to talk to online and so far i like it here.

 

[Starrynight25]

That's funny edgecrusher, the Starbucks trip lol. I find for me it's the Walmart trip and it makes me happy.

I realized we live in a very extroverted world. People who are outspoken don't understand how the other side process life. I had a couple of friends as well who decided I wasn't worth the effort. They've been my friends since Middle School. Back then I was extremely shy and awkward. Somehow I managed to make a couple of friends. Now, the two of them rarely call or text me. The only time it happens is when they need a favor. It truly hurts but I've learned a lot about myself through times spent pondering my own self worth.

Anyways, if possible it might be nice to just take a walk or sit in a park with a drink (non alcoholic lol). Just to say you got out of the house. Spending too much time indoors can spiral into a deep depression or extreme feelings of emptiness. Even if you aren't talking to anyone just a little fresh air eases the isolation. I find this works for me when I've been indoors too long.

 

[edgecrusher]

That's funny edgecrusher, the Starbucks trip lol. I find for me it's the Walmart trip and it makes me happy.

I realized we live in a very extroverted world. People who are outspoken don't understand how the other side process life. I had a couple of friends as well who decided I wasn't worth the effort. They've been my friends since Middle School. Back then I was extremely shy and awkward. Somehow I managed to make a couple of friends. Now, the two of them rarely call or text me. The only time it happens is when they need a favor. It truly hurts but I've learned a lot about myself through times spent pondering my own self worth.

Anyways, if possible it might be nice to just take a walk or sit in a park with a drink (non alcoholic lol). Just to say you got out of the house. Spending too much time indoors can spiral into a deep depression or extreme feelings of emptiness. Even if you aren't talking to anyone just a little fresh air eases the isolation. I find this works for me when I've been indoors too long.

i know what you mean. i do sit indoors all the time and it can feel depressing. most of what i like to do for entertainment is indoors though, lol. i would love to go for a walk or hang out at a beach at night or something like that if i could find that special someone to do it with though. but for now its like i just sit it my room and get lost inside my head, and sometimes it really sucks.

 

[Starrynight25]

Ever tried dating sites edgecrusher?

 

[edgecrusher]

Ever tried dating sites edgecrusher?

yea, never get anything back in my area though. then on eharmony i of course fall into the 10% of people it cant find matches for based on my answers. i dont think i could do the online thing anyway.

 

[Starrynight25]

Aww, sorry to hear that it didn't work out. I've tried several different dating sites but nothing was solid. Sometimes I wish it could just happen by accident. I turn a corner and bump into the future.

 

[oarivan]

I'm in a similar situation with friends etc. All these dating sites never help much. People are just as superficial online. I did meet some interesting people via a site: meetup.com Maybe you could give it a try, find people on your area with similar interests, like say babylon 5 geeks.

 

[tehdreamer]

Most of the things that I find fun lose their entertainment level when solo. For example: movies just aren't as fun when watching alone. Now, to have a SO to do these things with would be beyond awesome, but I'd also like to have a friend or two to hang out with.

Unless I finally crack and develop a couple of voices in my head to talk to, I won't ever get used to being alone.

 

[edgecrusher]

Aww, sorry to hear that it didn't work out. I've tried several different dating sites but nothing was solid. Sometimes I wish it could just happen by accident. I turn a corner and bump into the future.

yea, i would rather it happen on the spur of the moment too. instead of searching online until i found it. like you just meet someone and things just start happening and next thing you know your together.

 

[Starrynight25]

lol tehdreamer. I thought I was getting to that stage one day. Fortunately it was only one voice.

I'm in a similar situation with friends etc. All these dating sites never help much. People are just as superficial online. I did meet some interesting people via a site: meetup.com Maybe you could give it a try, find people on your area with similar interests, like say babylon 5 geeks.

I'm actually part of social anxiety Boston but haven't attended any events. Thinking about creating my own meetup but I'm little afraid to start one.

 

[edgecrusher]

Most of the things that I find fun lose their entertainment level when solo. For example: movies just aren't as fun when watching alone. Now, to have a SO to do these things with would be beyond awesome, but I'd also like to have a friend or two to hang out with.

Unless I finally crack and develop a couple of voices in my head to talk to, I won't ever get used to being alone.

i feel you on that. i have watched SO many movies and tv shows, and played SO many video games by myself. i really wish i had someone to do that with all this time. i think at this point all these movies, tv shows and video games are my escape. they are sometimes the only thing that takes me outisde of living in my head.

 

[Starrynight25]

yea, i would rather it happen on the spur of the moment too. instead of searching online until i found it. like you just meet someone and things just start happening and next thing you know your together.

I believe it can happen but it's always when you least expect.

 

[edgecrusher]

yea, i would rather it happen on the spur of the moment too. instead of searching online until i found it. like you just meet someone and things just start happening and next thing you know your together.

I believe it can happen but it's always when you least expect.

well if thats true then this current situation with someone im pursuing will end up in a bust. who knows though? only time will tell either way.

 

[tehdreamer]

I've been looking around meetup.com for different things I could take part in, but I haven't really found anything. Also it's a big intimidating to think about walking into a room full of strangers and having to give them a reason to accept you. It's a lot easier online but very scary offline and I've never been very successful with it in the past because of being so shy. People automatically write you off as a weirdo or slow when you're super quiet.

 

[Starrynight25]

I've been looking around meetup.com for different things I could take part in, but I haven't really found anything. Also it's a big intimidating to think about walking into a room full of strangers and having to give them a reason to accept you. It's a lot easier online but very scary offline and I've never been very successful with it in the past because of being so shy. People automatically write you off as a weirdo or slow when you're super quiet.

This is the very reason I haven't mustered the courage to attend an event. I don't like when people give the "you don't belong here" look or "I'm not even going to talk to you" back lol. There should be a meetup for lonely people.

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well if thats true then this current situation with someone im pursuing will end up in a bust. who knows though? only time will tell either way.

Do you work with her or does she work in Starbucks ?

 

[edgecrusher]

well if thats true then this current situation with someone im pursuing will end up in a bust. who knows though? only time will tell either way.

Do you work with her or does she work in Starbucks ?
[/quote]

i work with her. although she only gets 1 day a week and sometimes not even that.

 

[Venetia]

I haven't made lasting friendships on the internet either, but at least on an active site like this I am interacting with people which is more than I do in real life.

Well, the internet isn't helping too much either. Keeping internet friends never works for me either.