My theory on why people fail socially

[Lonesome Crow]

Damn it...X . Havnt U figured out Nillla is a dude. Thats my theory

May I suggest reading " whos pushing ur buttons"...it gose into great details of how N why..but most important it gives u salutions to WORK ON YOU not the manipulators..
Ur selfesteem..ur thinking N behavior patterns N emotional state of being.

Theres no viictims only volunteers..
So stop playing the fucken victim...

If u been in relationships with women @ some piont ur going to get manipulated ..so dont be triipping. Ur bubble will get bust. She'll turn u into a pretzel real fast..Mr Nice guy.

---

On second thought...**** it
Its sunday...

Lets hang X upside down N nail him to the cross by his balls. Burn his ass..
Bring BBQ suace too.. We all can hold hands and dance around the Fire. Sing cumbayaaa...cumbayaaaH

.

 

[VanillaCreme]

To succeed socially you need 4 things:

1) Money
2) Social Capital
3) Muscle
4) Good Looks

Money - Wrong.
Social Capital - Wrong.
Muscle - Wrong.
Good Looks - Wrong.


I have none of those, and I have a good social life. Plenty of friends.

I was addressing MEN when I made this speech.

Doesn't matter what gender, it's senseless ideas.

 

[Mr. Sir]

I really don't understand you, Vanilla.

It seems like you want people to fail socially.

Really, every dude I know who succeeds socially has those four things.

 

[A Desolate Soul]

You are CORRECT, my friend, but here's the good news....

NO NEED TO BE PESSIMISTIC ABOUT IT!

To succeed socially you need 4 things:

1) Money
2) Social Capital
3) Muscle
4) Good Looks

And EACH of these four things is obtainable if YOU are willing to put in the effort, let me explain. It's all up to YOU.

1) You get money by working. If you're not making enough, work more. Start up a side business. Be smart. It's important to get money so you can buy things when you need them.
2) Social capital (aka POPULARITY or charisma) is extremely hard to build when you are shy. The easiest way is to just spread yourself around, doing things for people if they do it back. You just need to look people in the eye, treat them with respect, while being tough and standing up for yourself which brings us to....
3) .... muscle! Hit the bench press and the bicep curls. Take a martial arts class. Get involved with marksmanship and wilderness survival. Be the tough guy that NO ONE wants to mess with. Once you ARE the tough guy, no need to prove anything, and you can treat people with kindness and be everyone's favorite guy.
4) As a friend from a different site says, looks are made not given. Once you have your muscles and your money, go treat yourself to a fly, sharp wardrobe and haircut. This is the easiest part.

I would look into reading Machiavelli's "The Prince". Learn how to be loved and feared simultaneously. Do that, and you will never fail socially again.

Best of luck to you, buddy.

 

[Lonesome Crow]

X...X...X

ur finally unlocked the secret of being with a woman. U will simply never figure her out and shell never quite
get exactly what ur saying.

btw...most poeple on this forum ready figure out what ur trip iwith women a long long time ago. The person that usually need to get it...is actually the last person to get it.lol

---

If Nilla can actually think like U...shell probably kick ur ass...

If you can actually feel what nilla feels..urll probably kiss her ass....

 

[zombieslayer]

I have woodchuck teeth, a bulbous nose, and am pigeon toed.
I run a 15 minute mile. RUN.
I have about as much personality as a 4-week-old loaf of bread. After it's been sitting in an abandoned fish tank. Full of pond water.

WHERE ARE MY LEGIONS OF COMRADES?!

Maybe you've been too picky.

I didn't have too many people to choose from.

 

[Mary Mary]

I have woodchuck teeth, a bulbous nose, and am pigeon toed.
I run a 15 minute mile. RUN.
I have about as much personality as a 4-week-old loaf of bread. After it's been sitting in an abandoned fish tank. Full of pond water.

WHERE ARE MY LEGIONS OF COMRADES?!

Maybe you've been too picky.

I didn't have too many people to choose from.

I'm just teasing you.

 

[Tigershark]

I actually am surprised that everyone disagrees with the looks factor so strongly. In a perfect world, maybe. Fact is, though, attractive people tend to do better in life than unattractive people. Look it up! Haha.

 

[Mary Mary]

I actually am surprised that everyone disagrees with the looks factor so strongly. In a perfect world, maybe. Fact is, though, attractive people tend to do better in life than unattractive people. Look it up! Haha.

That is true generally speaking, but it's not true with a couple things.

It's not true with making friends. People tend to be around people like themselves.

It's also not true if you're an attractive female in Israel that includes her picture in her resume/curriculum vitae (which is an acceptable practice there) because most human resources people there are women.

 

[Tigershark]

Definitely if people deem someone to be as attractive, or less attractive than themselves, they'll see that person as more approachable. For sure. As a general statement though, as you even said yourself, attractive people do better in life than those who are unattractive. If you're unattractive, chances are you're insecure about it for one reason or another. Chances also are those insecurities, if not easily overcome, are going to hinder your social abilities. Not saying all attractive people have no insecurities, of course. This is a only a generalization.

 

[VanillaCreme]

What's attractive to you, isn't to someone else. And what's not attractive to you, may be to someone else. It's not a black and white issue.

 

[Mr. Sir]

What's attractive to you, isn't to someone else. And what's not attractive to you, may be to someone else. It's not a black and white issue.

There are objective standards.

 

[A Desolate Soul]

What's attractive to you, isn't to someone else. And what's not attractive to you, may be to someone else. It's not a black and white issue.

There are objective standards.

so tell me, what are these "objective standards" you speak of.

 

[Nina]

If you want to make friends and find lovers and mates--COMMUNICATE--
Learn to ask questions and really listen to the answers you're given. Then learn to honestly portray yourself, your beliefs and thoughts. Looks, money and muscles are all fine if that's what floats your boat, but they are nowhere near the ONLY answer. From my own personal experience you can work out, tend to your appearance and have decent numbers in the checkbook and still be miserably unhappy. Beautiful, fit and wealthy folks cry just as much as anyone else...

Honesty and being a good listener can move anyone further ahead than only having material and superficial additives.

You can wrap a piece of crap in the finest and most costly packaging imaginable and no matter how you spin it, when opened it's still crap.

Work on what's inside and the outside reflects it and others sense it...

 

[Lonesome Crow]

Well..yeah its common sence.
How in the heck r you going to
get to know someone if you dont
listen to them?

Active listen is a skill that must be accquire. To actually listen and really hear what others are trying to communicate to you..You must trun off ur filters or preconvieced notions.
Without interuptioning the speaker and letting them complete a sentence or an idea....such as telling a joke.

If a person is just sharing with you..
let them share. If you actually listen
theyre not asking for ur opinions or approvals. Not unless they ask for ur opinions. Or suggestions.

People that has to be right all the freaken time actually have low selfesteem. Its actually a turn off.
Nobody wants to be made feel less
tthan...If u think women r bimbos
cuz ur just so much smarter then she is....Shs smart enough to close the candi store on ur ass becuz she feels uncomfortiable.

 

[Nina]

Well..yeah its common sence.
How in the heck r you going to
get to know someone if you dont
listen to them?

Active listen is a skill that must be accquire. To actually listen and really hear what others are trying to communicate to you..You must trun off ur filters or preconvieced notions.
Without interuptioning the speaker and letting them complete a sentence or an idea....such as telling a joke.

If a person is just sharing with you..
let them share. If you actually listen
theyre not asking for ur opinions or approvals. Not unless they ask for ur opinions. Or suggestions.

People that has to be right all the freaken time actually have low selfesteem. Its actually a turn off.
Nobody wants to be made feel less
tthan...If u think women r bimbos
cuz ur just so much smarter then she is....Shs smart enough to close the candi store on ur ass becuz she feels uncomfortiable.

You made me smile with this one Lonesome.... You're a smart guy under that killer sense of humor...

 

[Lonesome Crow]

To not judge...this gain trust.
The more turst you gain from
people..the more they will reveal of themselves to you. The more you listen to them..the more they will feel yoo undersatnd them.

Trust N comfort. Being able to breath
the walls gose down....live N let live.

then it gose into sex...will duh dudes..
she's trusting me with her life..with her body that Im not going to hurt her...and when she wants to throw down N do the nasty..nasty, Im not going to judge her. And she trust me enough to not mention it to the entire world

---

Perceptions.....
Just becuz the girl next door type, cheerleaders, social, teachers peps, Preachers duaghter..didnt interact
with me during daylight...becuz Im the motely crue type...didnt mean that they didnt sat on my lap @ keeger parties or made out with me under the moonlight...

Its trust, respect N honor.
During daylight shes a day walker but I know deep down inside shes a vampire.

In later life...most of the women I have relationships with are bussiness or professional. Im a T-shirt N jeans kind of guy. Soemtimes we look like the odd couple when were having lunch in public.

 

[SofiasMami]

If u think women r bimbos cuz ur just so much smarter then she is....Shs smart enough to close the candi store on ur ass becuz she feels uncomfortiable.

My all-time favorite quote from you, LC! For all your tawdry posting, you're not such a bad guy after all I guess it's true that the older we get, the wiser we become, good for you for having some good insights.

Teresa

 

[Nina]

If u think women r bimbos cuz ur just so much smarter then she is....Shs smart enough to close the candi store on ur ass becuz she feels uncomfortiable.

My all-time favorite quote from you, LC! For all your tawdry posting, you're not such a bad guy after all I guess it's true that the older we get, the wiser we become, good for you for having some good insights.

Teresa

I just have to echo your thoughts on this! Lonesome has a lot of, "naughty" floating around in his posts but I'll just bet, his heart is pure gold....

 

[Lonely in London]

I disagree slightly because am a good looking guy and my life is still ****** up. Looks is not important, charisma and personalty is.