Narcissist mother

[Kar]

Is your mom a narcissist? My mom has always had issues accepting my boundaries and doesn't understand we aren't the same person. Reading through this article, I think I've realized she is a narcissitic mother.

https://www.choosingtherapy.com/narcissistic-mother/

Any others relate to this? How did it impact you?

 

[okidoke]

Mine certainly has a few of those narcissistic traits. I don’t wish to talk too much about my mother, but she has certainly brought out the worst in me too many times, which I acknowledge and despise in myself. My father treated her poorly too often, which was wrong, but, I can see what triggered him.

 

[user 139760]

I think most people have some of those traits. My mom still thinks and treats me like I'm 12 lol. I know however, it's born out of care and concern, not out of malignant feelings. So I kind of ignore it. Occasionally indulge her lol. I've been lucky enough to have good parents. My time on ALL has shown me this isn't always the case.

 

[NoxApex(N/A)]

Most parents are unable to see their children as adults in the way that children grow to eventually see their parents as just people instead of parental figures.
Therein lies the disconnect.

 

[Murakami_1]

omg this reminds me of the saying, every child desevrs a parent but not every parent deserves a child!

 

[TropicalStarfish]

Don't talk about my mother.

 

[Unsigned]

Is your mom a narcissist?

Well, she's been dead for 6 years, but absolutely she was.
Manipulative, controlling and extremely critical (lots of put downs and name calling) as well.
Picture Raymond's mother from Everybody Loves Raymond and Tony's mother from The Sopranos combined into one person.
And perhaps a tiny bit of Frank Gallagher's mother from Shameless thrown in for good measure.

How did it impact me?
Well, it made me a shy, timid boy who was used to being bulled, so naturally when I started school I was a prime target for bullying.
And it's what she wanted.
She resented that my father was a very dominant type that did whatever he wanted while she had to back down, and even though she never outright stated it, she absolutely wanted me to be the complete opposite. I am sure her goal was for me to be a married milquetoast who does everything for the wife. Well...it backfired. While I am not anything like my father, I am certain she would have been mortified to know that I am a wh0rechaser who has banged thousands. And I deeply regret not getting in her face and yelling that to her at the top of my lungs sometime before she died. She did know about my drinking, however, and she was none too happy about it.

 

[Claudia1794]

My son would say yes

 

[roses4all]

absolutely... sabotaged almost everything that I did

After years of therapy and a narcissic marriage... the light went off in my therapist's head...''do you think your mom could be narcississic?''

Well, yeah.

Narc moms do not like their daughters so they wipe their daughters out.

After 20 years of no contact, I went to see her last year. There had been a BBQ in her neighbourhood. She hadn't gone because she could make hamburgers at home. I tried to tell her it wasn't about the food, it was about fellowship with her neighbours. She looked at me like I was crazy. No concept of connecting to someone. It's all about control, getting her needs met.