You don't have to be nasty to just say 'no' -despite the temptation towards name calling !
You are not being an ******* nor a ****** in protecting yourself from being hurt. There is no law that says you have to stay friends with an ex. It isn't either a good thing or a bad thing to do. Some can, some can't. The fact that you are veering up and down between love and hate, and still seeing her and doing things for her does not sound at all good for you. You will only settle your emotions down if you
do not see her again.
You can only be used by someone if you let them do it... you are letting her do it because you want to get back with her. Your
head knows it ain't ever gonna happen, your
heart is hanging on to her. You need time and space to let your heart catch up with your head. I honestly think you have to cut the cord that is tying you to this girl.
This means not seeing her. Sorry, but that is the bottom line here. Because basically my little dumpling - YOU are
not friends with her. YOU want
more.
You can explain to her that it is hurting you to keep up this contact with her, and that it is unfair of her to keep asking you to do things for her when she knows full well you still have feelings for her. . Or say that on reflection you don't want to be just friends with her, and therefore it is not appropriate to keep up the contact. Or anything along those lines.
Or, simply have an excuse
every time she asks you to go out with her, or talk to her. 'I'm sorry, I am busy that evening... sorry, but I can't manage that .... I'm afraid I can't help you with that. .. I'm in the middle of something right now, I can't talk .... I don't have time to help with your move right now, you should ask someone else.
Or - I have thought about it and I don't want to help you move, I suggest you ask someone else.
She ought to get the hint. Don't enter into any long discussions with her where she will try to persuade you.
Say no - mean no.
You know it makes sense!
